dropped your hand while dancing- rafe cameron
rafe cameron x kook!reader
warnings: angst, angst, more angst, bit of fluff and more angst. talks of sex in a flashback. catholicism is included, priest, church.
summary: what happens when the only love you've ever known leaves you? what happens when you have a baby with him?
rafe maintaind his distance from her the following days, respecting her space and allowing what she had said to him sink in his mind.
she was right, he hurted her and even the word hurt seemed small and insignificant to describe what he had done to her. he knew they would never go back to the way it was even if he tried.
"my parents are getting back tomorrow afternoon." she mentioned while they prepared dinner.
"I can leave in the morning, i know your dad can't stand the sight of me." he chuckled trying to lighten up the talk.
"heard me cry one too many times." the words escape from her before she could even think. "sorry."
"no, don't apologise. I know what I did." the conversation died down 'til a few minutes later when she spoke again.
"do you think we could take sky to the house someday soon?" he smiled.
"I'll get tanyhill cleaning lady to go clean tomorrow and we can go on friday." his chest warmed at the sight of a small smile forming in her face.
the next morning came way too fast for them. rafe didn't want to leave, the past two weeks waking up and falling asleep with their baby in the same house, seeing y/n first thing in the morning was a sight he didn't know if he would ever see again and now wonders when he'll be able to do it again.
"I'll see you two on friday then." he kissed sky's cheeks repeatedly.
"yeah, I'll meet you there." she gave him half a smile.
"nah don't worry, I'll come pick you up after work around four pm." he kissed sky one more time. "I love you skylar bear." the second he placed her in her mother's arms she started to cry extending her tiny arms towards him.
"daddy's gotta go sunshine. say bye bye to daddy." she kissed her head in a try to calm her down.
"I'll see you baby, I promise you honey." he kissed her cheek and made his way to his truck knowing that she wouldn't let him leave if e stayed for a few more minutes.
when he arrived at tanyhill, his parents were sitting in the living room.
"son you're back." ward looked at him while rafe plopped down on the sofa across from them closing his eyes.
"yeah y/n's parents are coming back today."
"how was everything?" anne smiled at him.
"weird but nice. it's the first time in months that we're in the same room, the first time with sky looking like." he paused. "like the family we would've been."
"there's not even a little bit of hope of you two reconnecting at some point?" ward asked.
"not sure dad, I hurted her really bad. I wish I could fix it but I said to her face that I didn't know if I loved her two months before our wedding." he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "you know what's even worse, I made her feel worthless for months dad, she thought I was cheating on her due to my lack of interest in the months prior to the end of our relationship." he laughed ironically. "she shouldn't even let me see my daughter and she would be right to do so. I ruined her, us, everything."
"rafe honey." his mom got up from her spot and sat next to where his body laid. "you made a mistake, there's no one we would love more to be your wife than y/n. you know how much we love her but maybe it's time to move on and find someone new."
"anne!" ward exclaimed. "don't you dare rafael, not without exhausting every single possibility of getting your family with you. don't forget that even if you can find someone new, she can too and someone else can replace your place in sky's life." his father stood up giving him a sharp glance before leaving the room.
"mom, I love you but don't you ever try and tell me to move on from her."
the next two days until friday came they exchanged texts mostly about sky and some others about their day.
on friday, rafe arrived to her parent's house at 15.58 pm ringing the bell just before the clock could say 16.00 pm.
her dad opened the door. "rafael."
"fine, thank you. y/n/n he's here." her dad looked back to call for her. "take care of them."
"yeah, you said that once too, look where we are now." rafe felt the same as he did at 16 the first time he came to get y/n to go to their first date and edward stood behind her at the door.
"rafe!" she stepped outside of the house. "bye dad, see you later." she kissed her dad's cheek before walking to rafe's side.
"hey." he smiled at her when a gasp of surprise shifted their attention towards it's source. "and there she is, my little princess." he took her from her mother's arms before kissing his baby's chubby cheeks.
the drive there was short and quiet, an old playlist playing softly.
she stared at the house for a solid minute while he took their baby out of her car seat.
"you got the key?" she asked.
"yeah, here." he handed it to her and started their walk to the front door. the cushions on the porche swing were no longer there neither the flowers she used to grow.
once inside their minds went to the same memory.
"baby." her laugh echoed in the still-empty house while he picked her up the same way newlyweds do.
"home sweet home." he smiled kissing her cheek.
they had an air mattress on the floor, a champagne bottle in one hand and take-out food in the other.
"can't believe it's finally ours." y/n's arms circled around his neck once he had lowered her to the ground.
he kissed her. "I love you for eternity."
"I love you forever and more baby."
rafe walked switching the lights on, y/n continued her path towards the kitchen, another memory passing by.
rafe hugged her from behind kissing along her neck while she cut fruit on the kitchen island. "you look so pretty in those shorts babe."
"I think you like how my ass looks in them cameron." she giggled.
"yeah same thing." he gripped her waist. "let me get you out of them tho." she could feel his smirk on her neck.
"the cleaning lady is here rafey. wait 'til she leaves."
"she won't even notice." his hand making his way inside her shorts.
"rafe cameron!" she laughed hitting on his hand.
"hey." rafe's hand touched her lower back. "you okay?"
"yeah it's just too many memories." she looked at sky and smiled. "she's the best of both of us." she kissed her baby's nose making the little girl laugh. "are you alright with her here? I want to walk around the house for a bit."
"yeah yeah, we'll have fun with miss chubby cheeks." he smiled at her.
once upstairs another one hit her mind.
"don't get up, let's just stay here all day." rafe was with his head on her chest while she ran her fingers through his head.
"we have lunch with the family at 1 pm at the club rafey."
"make them wait, it's not every day I can lay with you in the morning." he snuggled more into her.
"alright I guess they can wait."
rafe downstairs wasn't doing much better with the flashbacks flowing around him.
"oh I love this song." she said when the way you looked tonight started playing in the tv. rafe took her hand an pulled both of them up.
"would you grant me this dance mademoiselle?" he said in a very bad french accent.
"i guess I can't decline the offer kind sir." the smile she gave him was a sight he would never grow tired of.
she entered the room they used to call "ours" looking around while the memories turned sour.
once again rafe didn't make an appearance to the dinner date they said they would have that night, the lights were turned off in the kitchen and dinning room which previously had been nicely ambiented for the night. she was getting into bed, makeup removed and pijamas on while fool for you by zayn played on her phone, ironic she thought, when the front door opened and closed.
"baby where are you?" his voice made her want to cry, he opened their bedroom door. "I'm sorry." he sat beside her. "I lost track of time with topper."
"yeah I know, just as last week and the week before."
"I'm sorry, I love you." he took her hand in his and kissed it.
"you should show it, lately there're no clues of that being real." she turned her back towards him.
"I'm sorry." he sighed when he didn't received an answer.
her eyes filled with tears while she remembered the dodged kisses, the afternoons crying when he wasn't home.
she used to swear she would die if he ever left her. it sure felt like it when he actually did, long before he was physically gone.
she was at church, he didn't make it to the reunion with the priest to talk about the ceremony.
"are you alright y/n?" father thomas asked her.
"I feel this wedding ain't going to happen, I'm afraid I'll die at the altar waiting for him to make time for it too." she confessed for the first time her fears.
"I've known both of you kids for a long time. we've seen that you two love each other very much and for a very long time."
"I'm starting to believe his time has been cut short father thomas."
the pitiful look he gave her reminded her of how topper and kelce looked at her more than once under her own roof while they watched rafe reject her affection in ways he believed were subtle when in fact they were not.
she walked out and stepped inside of what could've now be sky's bedroom, painted on a very light baby yellow. two hands press on her shoulder's massaging for a bit.
he stands by her side now resting his arm around her shoulders.
"sky fell asleep while we were walking outside."
she nods. "it was time for her nap." y/n looked up at him. "we need to talk."
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