realizing my unc status homeboys are more fun than me…


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realizing my unc status homeboys are more fun than me…
Y'know fucking what?! If I'm truly meant to stay on this unfair , terrible, dreary ass planet until I die; then I'm gonna make the absolute fucking beat of it by not only getting what I deserve but helping others to get theirs too! I wanna spread that love in any way I can until I simply can't anymore and then start all over again. I will not allow myself to sink permanently into despair. I refuse.
I'm fully aware I'm no savior and I damn sure ain't a hero but if I can do something, anything to help those in need while making sure I can still eat, then by God I'm gonna! I'm far too autistic to just do nothing!
I have to realize step one is getting my own ass out of the hole first so I can toss a rope down for the next guy and him after that. I cannot fill someone's cup if mine is empty. I pray that the Father fills my cup to overflowing so I can share it with all who need it because it's simply the right thing to do. My face and name are irrelevant.
The recurring theme of characters feeling entitled to SJ's affection/attention is something that I struggle with in the SVSSS fandom. LBH and (fanon)LQG are such characters. BH especially because he is such a brat as in what made you think that just because SJ became your shizun that he is in any way obligated to love you or heap his attention on you? What makes you think you are any more special than the rest of martial siblings. Because it is such an uncomfortable theme, the idea that someone might find another beautiful/special and feel (self-righteously) angry when it is unreciprocated and seek to harm those they profess to love when truly the question is what gives you the right to anyone's affection, no matter what you feel for them?
" Humility is non-negotiable. If you aren't humble, whatever empathy you claim is false and probably results from some arrogance or the desire to control. But true empathy is rooted in humility and the understanding that there are many people with as much to contribute in life as you. "
Mr. Anand Mahindra
Read
Mind Body & Soul
It’s an ideology that I’ve spent a lot of time mulling over. The phrase “mind, body and soul” is typically used as a reminder to care for your self outside of just your physical being.
It’s a caution that combing your hair, brushing your teeth, and maybe even getting that wax that you’ve been contemplating, is just a footing to the possibility you have to acheive "self care".
The concept that I've come to live by as of recently, emphasizes that these three essenses being discussed are completely seperate entities of their own. They have their own tics and manuevers all seperate of each other, but work together so seamelessly.
Not only do I believe that they came into this world as seperate beings, but I truly resonate with only having some form of control over a single one of these essenses. That one being the soul/spirit. It's the one thing that existed before the body and the mind were even fully formed. The spirit is a neverending, never disipating, never aging yet always maturing form of existence. It's the one proof of life that we have that we can truly claim ownership over. We can't take our mind and our bodies with us when we leave this earth, we can't even take those really cute kitten heels from Dolce Vita that we brought back in October of 2021. As devastatingly aching as it is, it all gets left behind.
But our souls -- our souls have a master and owner. The master being us and the owner being the universe. It's a child looking for guidance from it's guardians. From an extrospective point of view, it is within our power to claim, protect, soothe, or even sell this soul. We have the final say in what and who it follows in this life. With control of nothing else but this, the idea of one life, and one soul, is more prominent than it seems.
I want to see myself from outside of me. Who am I to others? Am I as kind, as annoying, as warm, as rude, as loving, as bad, as good as i think myself to be?
I want to be my friend, to be my lover and know what it is to be with me. Is it of value to be around me?
Al bailar puedo reafirmar mi existencia en este espacio y tiempo, sentirme dentro de este cuerpo y ser parte del movimiento de la vida.
-odisea.
Disposition
Those certain moments in life, albeit fleeting, that make you realise or more so give you an epic epiphany that you're indeed alone. Consumed and overwhelmed by the sheer loneliness that wraps around you warmly like a wintry night's snow. Uncomfortable yet homely. You believe better days are coming but they're not here yet, when you're desperate for them to be. Hope, such a fickle thing. You look for a shoulder to lean on, however brief, instead you realise there's nothing around except the cold air and night's dream filling the endless void with illusions and unkept impossible promises.