So, since it's late and I'm feeling rather emotional, I shall now blog about my feelings.
I figure it'll be good to read in like five years or something.
You are, first and foremost, an ass.
I am, first and foremost, too sensitive for my own good.
We are, in short, non-viable.
I realize that I'm too sensitive and emotional around you because I like liked you. That tended to make me overthink things a lot, and it also meant that I misconstrued a lot of things you did/said, whether to make it in my favor or not. Point is, I got offended when you were joking, but also let you get away with things that I really should have put my foot down for.
I do, however, now realize that you are an asshole. Not majorly, but you can be pretty rude when you feel like being so. And unfortunately, you never seem to turn off that rude factor. There was no reason for you to be so harsh to me. I'm not blind: I know you're only being mean to me, and no one else. It hurts.
I have a theory for that, though. I think it's because we're not quite friends yet, and that throws both of us off. We're both friends with everyone else in our social circle except each other, so that makes us feel like we should be close, even though in reality we're not. So we act cavalier with each other and say things we really shouldn't just because we should be close. We also try too hard to become friends, and then snap back when one of us gets too edgy.
In short, we're awkward. And I know I'm to blame.
We could be great friends. We have the matching personalities for it. I can see that now. I'm sure that we're not close now because I'd been letting my extraneous feelings get in the way.
But now that those are tucked away and behind me, I won't over-analyze. I won't overthink. I'll just... be myself, I guess. And I'm sure we'll be good friends. Maybe not the best, but we'll be good friends. I hope we will be, because you're a pretty fun guy to be around when you want to be.
We'll see how it goes, I suppose.
