OPPPPP but do you have any more angsty Raya headcanons like the one in your fic??? Like more of her inner struggles. Or even for Namaari too. For both of them. I need some lowkey angst juice. Your fic made me think of the other possibilities those two would be struggling with
O man. OP, why cant you just let them be happy with no problems.
Ya girls need a damn break.
I do have a few if you must know:
In the first few months after the Druuns, Raya would have the worse case of repressed anger. Sometimes she's conscious of it, sometimes she isn't. She has forgiven Namaari, no doubt. But a deeper part of her feels unresolved and she's entirely not sure why. Coz she knows Namaari doesn't need anymore reminding, she does it enough to herself when she tends to close off.
Unfortunately, it takes Raya to snap at her one night, maybe Namaari trying to tell her something small, like she doesnt need to sus everyone out before eating their food. But Raya just snaps saying something like, "why do you think I have trust issues" And it just spirals from that, Namaari realizing the reality that they cant fully heal magically within a few weeks. So she apologizes and does everything to atone for her mistakes. Tells Raya to call her out on anything she does wrong. Raya just feels bad coz she doesnt entirely mean it so she breaks down and let's it all out of her chest to Namaari.
I think Namaari would start having a hard time agreeing to some of her Mother's orders after Kumandra is rebuilt. Since it was obvious from the movie, the hesitance Virana had if people came back. So maybe she would try to be sly and pull something again but Namaari holds her ground and says no, maybe threatening to expose her.
She wants the peace to stay. And it's not just Fang they have to worry about anymore. She explains to her Mother that she does love their tribe, their people and culture but they are part of Kumandra now and they should start sharing that and expand their horizons further.
Raya internally struggles more with a strong feeling of envy inside her. There are times when it will catch her off guard, completely having unintentional bitter thoughts about everything.
For example, she stares at the children of the ages of twelve and above leisurely running around in Heart’s main garden as she thinks back to the innocence that was wiped from her childhood, how these children now had nothing to worry about now. And the fact that she missed on properly making friends her age.
What she hates the most is how she finds herself being jealous of Namaari’s ability to socialize in formal events, or holding her own during meetings, or having a deep knowledge of Fang and having that sense of trust her own tribe has for her. Meanwhile, her own people in Heart doesn’t recognize her as much and is a bit hesitant on fully trusting their princess. Or when Boun or Tong ask her more about Heart and she can’t answer them fully because she just doesn’t know anymore.
There’s also this guilt with a mixture of jealousy she gets when her own palace staff is welcoming to her Ba but gets shocked and flustered seeing her all so grown up, not used to her presence. So she tries to stray away from bothering them too much, insisting she can do things for herself.
The jealousy just keeps her up at night, not sure what to do with herself and how to control the bitterness in her heart.
Raya would just have the worse case of social anxiety in big events or their social gatherings sometimes when people start bombarding her with questions about meeting Sisu and person details of her six years of being alone. Or questions about what she was gonna do now that she’s back being a proper princess of Heart. Everything would start being overwhelming.
At first, she would try to hide it from everyone till she finds the window of opportunity to escape. And just hide out in a rooftop or the old dragon gem emporium. She just sits there and basks at the lit up flowers, calming her heartrate down, trying to ignore the hurt and worried look her Ba wore before she quickly excused herself running away from the situation. But Namaari would find her eventually, noticing the pattern and her longing for the other princess prevents her from being away for too long. So, she goes into a search one night they’re in Heart and finds the princess with her head tucked in between her bent knees in the middle of former dragon gem cave. She would just wordlessly sit beside her, waiting for the princess to open up in her own terms.
Raya would eventually give in melt in between the warrior’s arms, sometimes letting out a quiet sob or just letting her anxiety melt away from the heavy pressure on her shoulders. Namaari swears from the day onwards, she would stay by the princess’ side every chance she gets so she can lead her way when things get too much.
-x-
Okay that’s enough for now, this got too long LOL
raya having to beg namaari to go swimming with her and namaari eventually listening bc her love for raya is stronger than her hate for water
Oof why is namaari me in the situation
raya eventually learns how much namaari hates the water so she’s more fine with her just putting her feet in, however she’ll occasionally push her in just because her angry face is so cute
Ahh, I love this one ehe. Mapping each other's scars, learning the stories behind them, discovering which ones they caused themselves. A mixtures of sweet, angsty and soft.
Also me- posts a second headcanon post within like an hour of the last
This may or may not be some self projection onto Raya but oh well
Raya h a t e s crowds and honestly just groups of people in general because she’s been on her own. Aka raya has big social anxiety
Raya has sensory issues because projection onto characters is fun. But she always has the front/top part of her hair up or braided because she hates how it feels, scratchy clothes are a big nope now that she has access to nicer materials (during her 6 years on the run the amount of times she’d just not wear a shirt under her cape is unmeasurable), she hates small buzzing noises- loud noise isn’t too bad but unknown buzzing will distract her to no end.
The first time she experienced sensory overload was right after one of the first diplomatic meetings of Kumandra had finished because her formal wear had been made of horribly uncomfortable fabric, but on top of that everyone had started talking and she was being asked multiple things at once so the sound just layered. Namaari being a good friend noticed her discomfort and quickly led her back to her room. This was also the first time Namaari saw Raya without clothes because the first thing she did when she got to her room was take off her clothes and curl up in a ball on her bed.
It took literal months for Raya to allow for her cloak to be properly cleaned because she was scared it would change the texture and make it feel disgusting
Raya is quite insecure about the fact that she has so many outward struggles because they’re not as easy to hide and it brings more attention to herself.
Namaari is the best friend/girlfriend and is so patient with Raya. She’ll just hold her or sit beside her when Raya doesn’t want to be touched, and she’s super patient and kind.
Namaari also gets panic attacks but they’re not as common and they’re typically only after really bad nightmares.
Raya is the sweetest friend/girlfriend and will coax Namaari through it, encouraging her to breathe and giving her the biggest hug once it passes
namaari would probably be scared to even touch raya after hitting her on accident, which would make it even harder for raya to comfort her since raya’s touch brings a lot of comfort to namaari
Facts
namaari would definitely run out of the room or something which makes her sensory overload so much worse. Raya has to go run after her and try and steer her somewhere that is relatively quiet rather in the middle of the freaking palace
