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Fuck..I've been up all night and day,I hope this helps. #readitoutloud #imazombie #insomnialovesme #silicagel https://www.instagram.com/p/BrWIWI6F-zr3ON9RZTNZWREiSMhcAPDZFnlfi40/?igshid=15uogn6y9mzl3

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4 more pages out of 30: »Read It Out Loud«. plain-coloured riso, coil-binding, edition of 100. printed by We-make.it. pre-order here.

#stefanieleinhos #risograph #risography #artistbook #coilbinding #wemakeitberlin #readitoutloud

Today on It's Nice That: a feature about my new book »Read It Out Loud«. Words by Lucy Bourton. Thank you guys!

#stefanieleinhos #itsnicethat #readitoutloud #artistbook #lucybourton

I’ve spent most of my life unsettled,

have counted so many days where the love I have was unreciprocated,

but today I lay here, and know, that isn’t my life anymore.

It’s true when they say you can’t make the wrong love right,

and be it all passion and fire and lust,

love can’t be a shapeshifter in the night,

denying you of the smallest comforts and joys.

Love should be as free and consistent as the river,

not so dependent on the gifts I bring or do not bring to the table,

love is about loving with all the love, even through the hard times.

I love myself and so nights are easier awake in my own company,

but there’s solace in the idea that I know my love would wake patiently,

holding me until the demons in the darkness stop screaming,

kissing me softly until all my worries simmer to quiet.

There’s comfort in the fact that this love is different,

this love is patient and kind,

and this love is, trusting and reassuring.

Comparison is the killer of every bit of happiness so this isn’t about which love was better,

but I know in my heart what feels right and what feels good,

and today,

I know I lie beside the most beautiful and patient soul,

someone who only yearns to please me,

someone who always wants to make me laugh.

There’s a destroyer in the type of love with selfish intent,

and for the first time in my life, I’ve found a love with selfless actions and acceptance in everything I am.

I spent all of my life trying to form something that wasn’t love into the shape of the keyhole in my heart;

Time has taught me that the love that belongs to you shouldn’t have to be made into something it’s not,

love taught me how toxic the wrong love can actually be.

I’m so lucky I get to be alive and loved right by you,

I’m so lucky I made it through the darkness to find your warm and tender heart.

- You are the key to my heart, the entity of the happiness we share, (coloringtheworldwithwords)

Hearts trying to beat in sync

but hers is beating too fast.

Mine?..left somewhere on a beach,

far from California and a long, long ways from here.

I try everything to make mine go faster,

like maybe I’m not giving it a fair shot,

but when I think of where my hearts the most steady,

I can hear her heartbeat syncing up to mine,

someone else, somewhere else along the Eastern coastline,

watching waves crash quickly at her feet.

We don’t get to choose what our hearts want most,

tangled up in distance and regret-

I miss how good the sound of silence felt,

like nothing could ever take away what we had.

We’d rest our heads gently at our pillows each night,

and talk about why we felt the Moon was an old friend who already knew all our secrets.

Loving you was that feeling, of knowing you knew me before I knew myself,

and I miss the comfort of my heartbeat synced with yours.

Steadiness, in my chest, and passion in our souls, is the only thing I ever desire in this lifetime.

I would travel across the entire universe if it meant it got one more day at loving you..

if it meant I got one more day to steady your heart with mine.

- I love you, (coloringtheworldwithwords)

It isn’t what I lost, nor found,

but the way you still make me feel,

that sends my bones to be nothing but shipwrecked remains.

I, can not hold up against your waters,

love, you are what takes me out to sea,

but what also keeps me out to drown.

I, was never meant to be a cast away Wilson,

I deserve more than hollowed company and the screams of silence;

your markings on my back left from before the time you decided to never touch me again.

I, cling onto every single piece of evidence you left behind,

to prove that once, I loved you, and I think you loved me too.

I never got to dive deep enough within your depths,

but you’ve told me twice too many times that no one ever took on such feat.

I would have ran out of oxygen to explore every single thing you had to offer,

but I guess you weren’t ready to let someone in:

You could have swam with me, but you chose to leave me to drown, (coloringtheworldwithwords)

‘Option to extend’ resonates in my ear, like, options are something I can choose to have, or rely on. Options, to continue this life of living alone, but no options to find my way back to you. Options, in being able to come back home, but no options to living beside you. 'Option to extend’: Accepted, heading back West to where I loved myself, the only place I’ve ever known to love me back, purely, with no ownership, with no restraints. There’s nothing left for me here in the East, no mountains calling good morning in the distance, no waterfalls to wash away all my doubts. I wake up, here, alone, cold, and afraid, stunted by all the damages I’ve yet to repair, but I have no desire to. I’ve left the mess of my ruin for someone else to clean, and took my baggage across the state lines, carried them upon my back like whipping marks, told myself to find a new place to lick my wounds. Starting over by myself seems a hell of a lot more noble, than pouring my uncertainties into someone else. loving myself harder than all the half loving lovers, put together to cause this cynicism in my heart. I am not to blame for always getting burned, when I fall for hearts that set me on fire. If only I could put out the flame before it gets too bright, maybe I’d have the option to keep you. For now, 'Option to extend’: Accepted

Theres Nothing For Me To Go Back To, (coloringtheworldwithwords)

I don’t know how to not fall in love, with the crinkles in her cheeks, or the hair that falls down her neck. I don’t know how to not love, how to not fall for every centimeter, to not trip over my pride when I see her. I wish there was a way to make it stop, to not love each stranger as they pass me on the street. No one looks twice at me, but I am constantly…observing, always digging for the beauty in something, and it only takes a matter of seconds. See that girl over there in the corner? She loves the way the pages feel at her fingertips, finds comfort in hiding behind a book, connects to the characters in better ways than she knows how to people; and I love that about her. And that man over there, with the long coarse beard, he has the softest eyes that speak truth and wisdom, has stories to tell, but no one to listen and I love that about him. And then there she stands, tall, pale, and dressed in contrasted black. I love the way she’s certain, as if she’s always known she was meant to stand out, to not follow the simple flow of the river, she exudes confidence in just her stance. And I don’t know how to not love her, to not fall in love with her scent or her purpose, to not shutter when I feel her touch. I don’t know how to not crave someone, how to not love someone, how to let it go and be gone.. I can’t unforget everything I feel. I don’t know how to not fall in love, with the beauty in the world, with the people. With everything.

-But I Wish I Knew How to Make it Stop, (coloringtheworldwithwords)