#real advice

[nonefrancesca]

Stop giving pieces of yourself to people who don’t know how to hold them.

[zigmenthotep]

Sometimes I think about three YouTubers I used to be subscribed to, all of whom did almost exclusively Mario Maker content. They all posted frequently, and every day there was at least one new video from one of them, and I watched them all. But then one day, I unsubscribed from all of them—among many others—and have felt no compulsion to watch their content since, or any other similar content.

Point is, it's good to occasionally stop and ask yourself "do I actually enjoy this, or am I just used to it being part of my routine?"

Like, do you really still enjoy that YouTuber's content, that online game, or the company of that person, or are they just things that you expect to encounter and engage with in your life, simply because they've been a part of it for so long?

There's nothing wrong with outgrowing or simply losing interest in things or even people. Doing something just because it's something you're used to doing, or feel you have invested a lot in, leads to nothing but stagnation. I guarantee you that your level 80 WoW character you've had since high school is less important than the life you could be living.

[eclecticmiscellaneous]

So you live in a traditionally warm climate and suddenly have to deal with an unprecedented cold snap.

How to survive the cold with limited power, insulation and heating options.

(Most of these require a bit of planning ahead and having supplies on hand in preparation for an emergency, but they will keep you warm, and more importantly, do so safely.)

Tea light candles and terra cotta gardening pots: you do need to use genuine terra cotta for this, but lighting a candle beneath an overturned terra cotta pot - one of the ones with drainage holes in the bottom so the candle doesn’t sputter - will act as a no power space heater for small rooms. Just make sure they’re only lit while you’re awake. - Now that this is no longer blazed, I can edit this. This has been debunked! Instead, may I recommend dressing in several layers of clothing and investing in battery powered space heaters! Like any flame, you don't want to leave these running without supervision, but while monitored, they will allow you to warm a room to a sustainable level, and a room that's already warm is easier to keep warm.

Block door gaps with towels: roll up bath towels and wedge them under the doors of any warm rooms you have; it will prevent cold air getting in underneath them. You will want to stay in the same room as long as possible anyway, as body heat will contribute to a room remaining warm. Along those lines…

Tape bubble wrap to drafty windows: it works about as well as industrial insulation film, and if you’re careful taking it back down again, can be rolled up and reused. This will prevent some heat loss at night, and as it isn’t blocking light out, will help sun-warm the house during daylight if it isn’t too cloudy. (There are commercial insulation options as well! But in the event that you cannot get it, or if you already have bubble wrap onhand, it is a very good insulator. Please see this link for instructions.)

Sleep with other warm bodies: share a bed with housemates, invite over friends or family, pets - anything warm blooded will contribute to warmth and you’ll all be safer for it. Bundle up and huddle together until your power comes back on! (I have never owned cold-blooded pets, and cannot make recommendations for those.)

Set up a camping tent around your mattress: this is another one that requires advance planning, but a zipped up tent will make for an enclosed space that is far easier to make warm and keep warm, and if your mattress and betting are put inside it, will be the safest and most comfortable way to sleep.

If you have advance warning of a cold snap, leave your faucets dripping with cold water on purpose: this will prevent the water in your house’s pipes from freezing. Frozen water will burst a water pipe, leading to a lot of unnecessary water damage.

Try to have a pantry of shelf-stable food and access to at least one method of cooking it that doesn’t rely on electricity, like a gas powered camping hot plate, if you can afford them. If all else fails, you can likely heat food over open candle flame, but it might be better to eat tinned tuna or cereal or what have you in that case.

And then of course, the usual power outage preparedness applies: flashlights and batteries, at least one battery powered radio, and make sure your car’s gas tank is full if for no other reason than using it as a power source; even if roads aren’t clear you can turn it on and huddle inside.

For those of you without homes: if you have the money for it, consider getting a cheap gym membership so you have access to indoor spaces even late at night, some are open 24 hours, and look into YMCA or soup kitchens or shelters way in advance. You’re going to know your resources better than I am, but the cold is no joke. Good luck and I love you.

[nic0las-uncaged]

i heard if you turn on your hairdryer and jump into the bathtub full of water you'll wake up and finally understand what women want so you'll be able to manipulate them better

[justsheerfilth1]

Hey gang, big sister moment but I’ve worked really hard this year on building my credit score and making changes after years of financial abuse from an ex, that was then followed by adhd impulse spending when I was finally away from that situation. So despite still being poor, disabled and only able to work two days a week I’ve still managed to make a big change, and thought this would be helpful to fellow poor people sick of advice like “ just save your money and don’t spend on Starbucks every day!” Long post, so strap in:

For context I am Scottish so things may be uk specific however: likely to have similar counterparts in different countries:

1. Started writing down every bill every bank/card it comes from and ticking them off each time they’re paid so I know they’re out the way, have also added them all to my calendar like “nov 8th phone bill £34” for example and that’s helped a suprising deal given how forgetful I can be

2. Get a loqbox account- (or any credit building account) - this actually has made a much bigger difference than I thought it would, it’s an account I pay just a £10 a month to and it informs folk who control credit checks that you’re making regular payments and boosts your score. I’ve never been able to get credit cards or overdrafts even on my bank due to how poor my credit was, had that since June and now my scores went up I have an overdraft and two credit cards (how I’m paying for Invisalign lmao so I’m still skint but will get to that later)

3. The credit cards in question- obvs I have had to use these a bit to try and get these teeth to not be in crumbling agony but I would recommend getting one to build credit, then not using it. Or using it as little as possible, then repaying ASAP if it does get used. I have a Zable one which is for folk who don’t have great credit trying to build it, will send my referral link if anyone wants to apply

4. Prioritising- the most boring one and less relevant if you’ve less bills to pay, but I’ve had to really focus on what I need to pay off most and least. This is the real life version of those “ oh just don’t buy Starbucks every day” posts lmao, but every month as long as I’m like ok the rent payment, council tax, food shop etc the absolute basics are in my savings account so I know I’ve got them there everything else is circumstantial. Even if it’s other stuff that’s important obvs, it’s stuff that can be worked out yknow? I can default on a bill and have to pay extra the next month which is annoying but I’ve still got my roof over my head and food in the fridge type deal.

5. Billing dates (part 2, electric boogaloo) but since writing them down on step one, actually look at the billing dates and when they’re coming out if it works w your bank account payment date. Like mines are scattered throughout the month cos some can’t be changed unfortunately (just depends on the company) but as I’m paid on the 28th the majority of them come out at the last week of each month/first week of next. If it can’t be changed it’s not the end of the world if you make sure there’s money put to the side for it, but if it can try and make sure the dates are on or around your payment dates- you may have to call the companies or w Spotify it’s like cancel the plan then restart it the day you want it to be coming out. But it’s all simple changes that don’t take long

6.Student discounts- if you are a student and have a student number or even know someone who does you can get a lot of discounts on thesethings like Amazon, Spotify etc. check all your outgoings and see if any of them can be changed to a student account for a cheaper rate

7. Selling what I don’t use- not relevant to everyone but I had realised I would at times go online and buy clothes/knick knacks when bored, then not have money to pay bills, and at times the clothes ended up not fitting properly anyway so if that was the case putting them on Vinted and getting money for them was helpful

I’m still working on it an it’s still not as good as I’d like it to be! But it’s however improved drastically and I wanted to share these in case anyone’s been in similar situations to me and is trying but struggling to improve things for themselves ❤️

[cafiffle]

writing advice: if your story is boring and trite, the kindest thing you can do is also make it horny

[smashing-yng-man]

Realize that more often than not, the ones who need help the most are the first to push it away. Not everyone is comfortable with going into therapy or even confiding in certain people around them, and I saw daily walk outs when trying to get sober in a rehabilitation facility.

Real friends understand that.