#redmom

[hustler82]

[joytraveler]

61. Special Treat For Super Players

The screen goes black, and one by one, sixty stars light up on the screen, which must be the game counting up how many games you've finished. When all sixty stars disappear, Joyce's face reappears with that same big smile.

["You are a wonderful player! You make me feel very appreciated. Thanks from Joy Traveler!"

["Did you know that many of the games in this collection were made by children?"]

Joyce hides her mouth but you can tell she's giggling. ["Sometimes it shows! But the children made them all by themselves! And now..."]

She slides off the screen and is replaced with a new logo: JOY GAME MAKER. ["...so can you!"]

"AaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa!!!" Bea, who looked like she was on the brink of dozing off, is suddenly full of energy and spinning around in her chair! Good thing she put down the controller first! "HOW DO I DO IT! Tell me moooore..."

Baconnaise: Bea. You're drooling. Chill. aroseahorseboy I'M drooling HNV: I don't think you'll be able to do much, you don't have a keyboard!

Upon pressing start, the player is brought to a screen with what looks like a big schoolroom, with Joyce herself sitting at the desk at the front. Every element in the room seems to have a function. There's an art easel, which is presumably for drawing sprites; a piano, for music; a tape recorder; a map on the wall; and an open door leading to the playground outside. Hard to tell what some of these things mean at this point! Looks like you can select Joyce too.

Bea has quickly doodled several of her followers as bees (their "beesonas") before she even clicks on Joyce, presumably for tips on how to actually MAKE a game. "I should probably have realized sooner that you guys won't actually be able to PLAY this but, too late now"

Syrupentine: YOU DREW HONEY SYRUP! *dies happy*

When you pick Joyce, she stands up and pulls down a screen, prompting:

[What kind of game would you like to make?]

There are at least 30 different game models to make, starting with side-scroller, shmup, 2D fighter, all the way to JRPG and Board Game!

She selects 2D fighter! "FIGHT FOR MY AFFECTION, HAHAAH!!"

The screen closes and returns to the classroom, but now "2D Fighter" is written on the chalkboard-- and two people are practicing fighting outside the window! Looks like that's where the game design happens.

When Bea chooses the playground, she takes control of Glem! By standing on different spots and pressing the shoulder buttons, she can change how he handles, making him faster or slower, jumping higher or lower, even changing his friction against the ground.

aroseahorseboy: is it odd to anyone that we're making a game in a genre that we haven't even seen yet in this collection?

"Well there's got to be at least one, or it wouldn't have the option!" she tries to adjust the controls to make a good balance of strength and speed. "Too floaty, too slow.. there we go, just right"

berd_snurglar: make mine a bumblebee cuz i bumble shit up all the time lol

"FINALLY! Ok, I think, maybe, we can take this for a test run now, at the very least. Thanks for your patience, guys! ....Guys?"

"...Well that's it for Press Bea today, see you tomorrow with more Joy Traveler!"

aroseahorseboy: no no i'm awake, kinda

When Bea chooses the computer disk to save her game, a truck also appears labeled "Export".

She selects it right away, not really thinking. "And off into the wild you go, little friend."

Options appear: [ PC / Mac / Android / iOS ]

".... PC, I guess? This thing's got wireless??"

[Compiling...]

A 'document' opens up with 36 pages to view. Each page has what Bea at first takes to be meaningless garbage, until she scrolls down and sees the boxes in the corners-- they're actually highly complex QR codes.

Baconnaise: Ok anyone speak robot talk GlockRoach: Bea my character has a special move. he has a gun. his special move is he just fucking shoots people with his gun Please put this in berd_snurglar: guys this is a program file that looks like it checks out except bea didn't do shit Klickitat_Street: This is fucking Objective-C... and you wrote it by mooshing a little man around on screen. I write code for a living, Bea. They're paying me to come in, eat donuts, and write things that are less elegant than this.

"NO IDEA WHAT I DID.. That's how kids made these games, it really was just that easy. I thought this was supposed to be a bunch of games for kids, but it's game for kids to make games with!"

GlockRoach: Well that explains a lot Syrupentine: I hope "Renk" finishes his game someday! GlockRoach: He's probably like ten or twenty years older by now at least. Or dead.

"This is ahead of its time NOW, I can't imagine it's all that old!" She looks for a way to test the game itself

Klickitat_Street: It can't be THAT much older if this lets you export to ios and android?

There's a poster of a movie clapboard that says 'action' on the wall; when she chooses it, Bea's game launches!

BUZZKILL! (that's the title she wrote in the fat cartoony font she chose)

Two angry little bees duel with their stingers on the title screen! Pressing start takes you to SELECT YOUR BEE!

"I can't play this because I can't believe it. Sorry, I can't...BEElieve it!"

Syrupentine: I wonder if there's something to let you make a random game... ...that's what the bingo cage on the desk is for, isn't it!!

"Let's find out!" she says. Syrup's bee just defeated Glock's anyway! Sadly she, too, perishes shortly after, having lost her stinger. "Uh.. maybe I can edit that out later"

Syrupentine: I can't believe you put that in... T_T ...I mean literally, that the game even gave you the option to make that happen! GlockRoach: GOTCHA BITCH

"Hey hey be civil now, if I can find out how to send this to you you can just kill each other that way!"

Zooming in on the bingo cage, it spins a few times and spits out a bunch of balls. They're decorated with symbols that aren't immediately meaningful, but there are some familiar icons, including some sprites from other games. Two more balls form a button: OK ?

berd_snurglar: i see some old friends of ours

"Let's see what you come up with on your own, game!"

[Compiling...]

A blue stone title screen pops up with the name written in block letters: PIZZA HERO.

After a moment, though, Joyce's face leans in, looking sheepish. "Is this title okay? If there's anything you don't like in a randomized game, you can pause and change it any time!"

"Looks good to me, Joyce! I come up with worse titles all the time! Besides, those are two things I like, can't go too wrong!”

When the game starts, the player is lost in a deep, dark forest, with only one person in sight to talk to. The player, however, is the green fuzzball from Fuzzed, and the NPC is an Angul! It's not attacking, though.

When Bea approaches the Angul, a dialogue box opens up:

[O BRAVE HERO, WE PRESENT TO THEE A QUEST!] [YOU MUST RETURN THE PIZZA OF COURAGE!]

[joytraveler]

60. Sunny Spring Mornings, pt 2

DueyDecimal: Now the big question, does Bea have the determination to get all the endings?

"Of course we've got to get Bea and George together, but you know me, gotta mess around before I settle down." This time she works ("NO"), Home, then to talk to Keith, "Fresh as a goddamn daisy" she says with a gravelly tough person voice

Keith is always polite and friendly, but doesn't seem to get interested until Joyce has done a lot of work-- at least three NOs. This man values hard work over prettiness and attention!

But if Joyce keeps coming back to him after NOing the box, and freshens up once in a while, eventually he does ask her out on a date. His dating game is significantly harder than Woody's, and he even beats her once but he seems to like that!

Finally the big match comes, and it's a real challenge because there's more balls to keep out of your goal... and soon enough, Joyce and Keith are standing at the altar!

[Joyce and Keith were happily married.] [After a short but sweet honeymoon, they returned to i.O Technologies.] [With industrious saving, they were able to afford a handsome home in a few years.] [With their help, Dr. Ryder completed his research.] [HAPPY ENDING!]

Baconnaise: Bout damn time Klickitat_Street: Is there a MEGA HAPPY ending where you marry all four of them?

"I know, right? What, I actually have to WORK at building a relationship, what's what about!" Charm meter maxed out and it's time to talk to George. "Yeah, I don't want to choose, I want to sit on a throne of men. I don't think that's too much too much to ask!"

Baconnaise: I don't care who you are. I WANT THAT THRONE. > HNV is now known as Throne_Of_Men

Now it's time for George, and George is a tough nut to crack, because, as Aro puts it:

aroseahorseboy: George is a superficial bimbo

George wants you to have lots of money but also be at your prettiest, which means lots of work balanced with lots of visits home to freshen up! Not only that, but once you're getting far enough with George, Woody and Keith both make visits to you to caution you against George: Woody warns you about his college 'conquests', and Keith openly calls him a womanizer.

aroseahorseboy: yeah you don't want to get hit by his womanizing beam

Even tougher than the final date with Keith is the final date with George, which has multiple balls to juggle AND multiple ring boxes to collect, which doesn't make much sense, but it's just a game.

"This must be the 'canon' path, but it sure doesn't feel right. This stopped feeling like a date a long time ago and started feeling like a game!"

"As much as I like the thought of one ring for each finger. I could be like Mandarin"

berg_snurglar: forget all these guys, date the water cooler, he keeps to himself but he's very clear headed

Finally it's complete, and the wedding begins! There are a lot more blond heads on the groom's side of the aisle this time.

[Joyce and George were happily married.] [George soon quit his job at i.O to follow his dream of becoming a professional surfer.] [He spent two years getting high on Joyce's couch before their divorce.] [Joyce remained at i.O to support herself and her daughter.] [With her help, Dr. Ryder completed his research.] [HAPPY ENDING!]

HNV: ... Klickitat_Street: Happy... divorce? aroseahorseboy: if that ending's canon, those kids sure aren't DueyDecimal: I thought George was Dr. Ryder?? Did we ever MEET Dr. Ryder

"It seems more obvious on retrospect.." (Sigh.) "It's gonna tell me HAPPY ENDING no matter what isn't it? And no, we didn't, I'm as confused as you are, folks. So unless he's the secret final date boss I think we're done here. Maybe I'll just marry Woody one more time, they at least seemed happy enough with each other"

Syrupentine: Now I'm sad, Joyce is Redmom and Redmom is our friend! She deserves her happy ending! :( I mean, actually happy

One more game to start with, time to go visit Woody... "And... WHOA! New person!" Woody is talking to someone much taller, burlier, with wild white-streaked black hair, who isn't facing you. Then he turns to the camera.

["Ah, this must be our new intern? Terribly sorry I haven't been here to welcome you, things are so busy. Dr. Jason Ryder."]

"Dr. Ryder, we meet at last, again! And you're reasonably hot as ever! And kind of aloof, but not surprising, you're working on some crazy mad science, I completely understand"

HNV: !!!! aroseahorseboy: joy walker, meet jay rider burd_snurglar: wow, seeing them together again I recognize Woody too

Now the choice menu includes the option to visit Dr. Ryder! He's no fool, he says things when you visit him like:

["You may feel confused, disoriented, not knowing what you've signed up for. Good! If there's one thing that research this sensitive does not need, it's know-it-alls!"]

GlockRoach: Bea, you can change him. Teach him the importance of love and ping pong

The whole game is different this time: when Joyce goes to work, a second 'astronaut' joins the first, this one in a distinctive red containment suit, and places his hand on the yellow one's shoulder. When Joyce goes home to clean herself up, sometimes there's a present waiting there!

aroseahorseboy: what backwards world is this where women don't have to do all the courtship themselves Syrupentine: I know I've never been there. T_T

The biggest change comes in the ping-pong segments, which are now played with TWO sides each! Bea must guard both the top and right walls and try to score points on Dr. Ryder's bottom and left walls, all the while avoiding his barrages of special attacks!

GlockRoach: Bea what was it you said about him being a super hard final boss thing? Baconnaise: Yeah that's how you know he's the one

"Hoping this was a good idea in the first place.." she says, after the box segment.

The final round sees her taking several losses before, with a combination of luck and persistence, the date is successful at last!

Now THIS is a happy wedding! All three of the other boys are there and applauding as Dr. Ryder kisses the new Mrs. Ryder.

[Joyce and Jason were happily married.] [They went on a marvelous six-week honeymoon in Europe.] [While Dr. Ryder returned to his work at i.O, Joyce pursued another career path.] [They had five brilliant and beautiful children, to whom Joyce was a full-time mother.] [Woody took over Joyce's position at i.O Technologies.] [Without Joyce's help, Dr. Ryder never completed his research.] ... [GAME OVER.] -BAD END-

"That's it. That's what happens, huh. Ok. Well, that kind of sucks.. Maybe the lesson is just to be happy with what you have? Don't search for Mister Right or you'll never have time for a life of your own. But it's not like they had bad lives, is it? We know how it works out!"

DueyDecimal: Apparently it wasn't a dating sim... it was a getting- your-work-done sim? GlockRoach: Bea you should finish POP2. Just to be safe. I'm worried now. Syrupentine: I was hoping we'd see Glem and the kids again... berd_snurglar: did they ever say what he was working on or did i miss that, was afk a while or why its bad if he doesn't finish it aroseahorseboy: fucking woody opened the box, didn't he Syrupentine: He's not my husbando anymore if he did. (╯°□°)╯( ┻━┻  Klickitat_Street: How about POP 2? You should at least see what happens when you get past ED the angle angel...

"All right, we've seen the past, now back to the future. Let's finish Planet of Pisces 2, assuming it doesn't glitch out on us this time, that was unbearable."

[joytraveler]

25. Reward For Being Good

The first thing on screen is Redhead Mom again! In fact it's the same scene as in Keep Your Promises, except it's daylight outside and she has a smile on her face.

"..............."

aroseahorseboy: AY REDMOM

[ "You did a great job playing so far! You haven't missed any games!"]

"......Cool! Hi, uh, I've seen you at least one before, nice meeting you in a better mood?" Bea finds herself smiling at the screen. After Box Baby, this feels like meeting up with an old friend.

[ "You must really love video games! Me too. I'm glad you picked Joy Traveler 1*67!" ]

"I dunno, have you seen some of the stuff in these games?"

Syrupentine: We love you too Redmom! <3<3

[ "Since you do... Here's a special treat for you! Have fun, but don't forget to come back and play more Joy Traveler games!" ]

"Wait, what? Treat? Yes, Bea like treat" When she dismisses the text box, it fades to... a list of letters, and a cursor to choose one.

HNV: oh boy alphabet soup my favorite mom

"Have I ever mentioned I think moms are great, maybe not Isaac's but.. Oh.. Do I get to choose? How does this work? Well let's press B, that's the name of the show!"

B opens up another, much shorter list-- it consists of "Bally Astrocade", "Bandai Super Vision 5000", and "Back."

"I used to be a huge Power Rangers fan so let's see what the Bandai one is all about!"

Another list of 7 items appears: Beam Galaxian. Gun Professional. Missile Vader. Space Fighter. Submarine. Othello. PacPacBird.

Bee52: dude wtf

"What is this? Redmom, are you a giant nerd?? Me too!! I didn't even know about most of these though"

Syrupentine: Yo Bea I heard you like games so I put a multicart in your multicart so you can game while you game

"GAMECEPTION!"

aroseahorseboy: these kinda suck but its awesome to get more games at all!

"Let's not be rude, thank you Redhead Mom! You just helped me get another five or six episodes out of this!"

HNV: Dude. Bea. I have a hunch. Go back and pick "N"

"Mmmkay let's see what happens here.." she does so, sipping her Cactus Cooler thoughtfully.

The list that pops up here are much more familiar phrases: 3DS. DS. Game Boy. Game Boy Advance. Game Boy Color. GameCube? Nintendo 64?? Nintendo Entertainment System???

HNV: YESSS IT WORKED aroseahorseboy: no way man Klickitat_Street: Seriously??

"No no no. No it can't. Really?" She opens N64... Scrolls down through the list until she hits the Ms... there it is.

VRROOOOOM. "Welcome to Mario Kart!"

"FUCK!"

Syrupentine: OMG OMG OMG ButterflyDefect: FAKE FAKE NO WAY Aroseahorseboy: Bea how much did you pay for this game I WANT ONE

Bea's not really listening, she's too engrossed in the DK Rap at the moment. "I, not nearly what it's worth, I can assure you! Wow, thank you, Best Mom Ever! Now look.. don't pirate games, its bad, etc. I should probably say that."

Syrupentine: Wait, that thing doesn't have an analog stick how can it play N64 and GC games???

The answer-- surprisingly well. All the Joy Traveler games have played so simply, Bea hadn't even noticed the analog capacity of the directional pad! "I really don't have a lot of words, this is unbelievable. Pretty much impossible, at least I would have thought so? I'll be honest, I'm not a tech nerd, I just really like playing games, so if you think you have any idea how this crap works.."

"Gonna come back to this one. Many, many more times, methinks"

aroseahorseboy: I wish red mom was MY mom

"I'd say she just topped my upcoming Top 10 Video Game Moms list except I don't think anyone else has played this thing"

Bee52: I can't think of any other moms DueyDecimal: Ms. Pac-Man is a mom, right...?

"Uh, ness's mom, Ms. Pac, and your character's mom from Pokemon.. aaand.. hm, well its a work in progress"

Syrupentine: Hinawa.... *sob* snerd_burglar: nah mama red blows them ALL away DueyDecimal: Weird she's in so many games! Bee52: she's like the host or something MaxForce: Great, horror movies get Elvira, we get an Irish MILF

"You say that like its a bad thing!"

The emulation isn't perfect since there's only so many buttons on that tiny pad; and of course Bea's out of luck if it's a twin-stick game like Panzer Dragoon. But after about fifteen minutes of suggestions from the viewers, she has yet to find a game that isn't included!

"Ok so this all the video games ever and I can only play most of them! I dunno maybe I can figure out some way to hook up another controller with the right buttons but I think I'm set for a while.."

She chomps down on a candy bar, going quiet because it's a really chewy one but also she's deep in thought about what all this means. "I know we want to see everything but let's come back, the Library of Alexandria isn't going anywhere"

Baconnaise: I wonder where the arcade games are though Klickitat_Street: This is some dark shit you're messing with, Bea. MaxForce: There's something called the Switch listed there! I never even heard of it! DueyDecimal: Maybe it's one of those China-exclusive Nintendo consoles? Like the iQue?

"Beg pardon?" She scrolls down the list: Xenoblade 2. Splatoon 2. Super Mario Odyssey. "This isn't even out. None of these games exist yet, do they? WHAT IS THIS MACHINE?!"

aroseahorseboy: HOLY SHIT MARIO MEETS ABE Klickitat_Street: I can't belive they didn't go with "Spla2n"... snerd_burglar: of course it's all sequels, please understand

"This is just too good to be true, I feel like any minute some goons in Mario and Luigi clothes are gonna burst down my door and break my legs here. This must have been made by either a brilliant hacker or someone with the time and resources to make all these on their own."

The first one she chooses is heralded by a singularly beautiful image of the Nintendo logo...then suddenly Redhead pops up in a hard hat. "Oops! You entered the year 2015 in your profile-- This attraction will not be available until 2017. Sorry, but we can't show you a game that hasn't been made yet!"

Klickitat_Street: I knew it Bee52: BOOOO Llord_Kuruku: Lol, Trollmom

"Oh come on, don't go all Mrs. Resetti on me here!" she exclaims. "I mean I don't wanna be ungrateful but its not like I can play 'em anywith.. all right, never mind. Anything else cool on here?"

"Ok hive, let's get right back into the Awesome Companion and explore the next game and hope that last one is still here when we get back!"

[askredmum]

"Love you,son"

-___-'<--- Easily tricked.

[askredmum]

Scout: Ma' what's for dinner?! Mom: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M PLAYING TF2?!

hur hur hur my dumb 1 min doodle. PLAY TF2 WITH ME! 

[askredmum]

Lets play!