#reeft

[gracielikegrapes]

@kogoeru ... some actual fanart!! lol

[quantumbluejay]

The Early Years Dinner at Anakin and Obi-Wan's

Another entry in the "what if everything went slightly less badly" AU, where Padme and her friends come over for dinner sometimes and Obi-Wan's friends are eccentric but enthusiastic babysitters (which I think must have happened in canon and I will die on this hill).

[padawansuggest]

Adi: *comes home from a council meeting to find her apartment overrun by padawans* Oh?? What’s this now?

Siri: We bribed Obi-Wan and Reeft to cook. They’re the only ones who can.

Adi: Would you not feel more comfortable invading your own kitchens for that?

Obi-Wan: *points at a bag* We brought our own ingredients. We can’t stay in my apartments, Master has custody of the tumor today.

Adi: *deep sigh* Obi-Wan, her name is Kara-

Obi-Wan: She woke me up to sticky fingers and spit bubbles, she’s full of germs! We can’t cook there!

Bant: Obi, she’s one.

Obi-Wan: And I’m Wan, no excuses. She’s so icky.

Quinlan: We can’t go to my place, I flooded the bathroom and it’s being fixed today.

Reeft: Mine isn’t healthy for all these pathetic humanoids.

Bant: Master is sleeping today. She had to give up Kara for a few days when I found her on a twenty-four hour research binge with a baby tearing through the cabinets.

Garen: My master keeps telling me no caff. I’m afraid she’ll take my caff away and it’s almost exam season. Master Gallia, I won’t survive that. I’ll /die/.

Adi: *deep sigh* Things were easier when my biggest worry was who’s apartment is getting smoked up most recently.

Obi-Wan: *also sighing* I remember when that used to be my apartment. It was last week.

Quinlan: I /hate/ it when that has to be yours! Jinn keeps stealing my blunts!

Obi-Wan: Yes, well, now he’s /with child/. What a whore.

Adi: *snorting, leaves them to their kitchen experiments so she can take a shower and smell less like the council chambers*

[cerucerus2]

I just have such a soft spot for Obi-wan's besties... like... Reeft... Garen.... Bant...Quinlan.... special mention to Qui-gon's braincell Mace Windu and absolute icon that is Tahl, all my homies stan Tahl. They're besties your honor and Obi-wan has never had a peaceful day in his life lmao there's just always something going on and it's also crazy

[toschestationed]

Knockout Ch. 23

Chapter Summary:

Dechipping and sci-fi pseudoscience commence while Jesse's situation is hopefully resolved.

Ch. 23: Midichlorians are the Powerhouse of the Force:

Head spinning dizzily, Captain Rex let out a heavy sigh as he laid back on his bed in the Halls of Healing. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it’d be, and the bruises were mostly for show, but the Jedi healers had figured out how to put some force protections around his mind, just in case anyone went looking further and discovered his knowledge of the inhibitor chips. That, more than anything, had made him want to sleep for a week. 

A lot had happened in the last day–kriff, in the last week, and his head would be spinning even without the force osik and near-concussion he’d gotten from General Windu’s carefully-applied use of shatterpoints, giving him an alibi for his absence over the last rotation. Honestly, he was surprised he wasn’t feeling any worse. 

But with his alibi in place and his troopers secure in the Jedi’s Halls of Healing, he could almost give in to the urge to let go of consciousness… not quite, but almost.

While he’d been recovering from his ordeal, the Jedi had been at work removing the inhibitor chips from Sterling, Sev, and the other troopers they’d left in Medbay, excluding Jesse, who had stayed conscious throughout his stay and stubbornly refused any attempts at medical care. 

The last attempted interaction with Jesse had ended with him straining against his restraints, practically snapping at the Jedi Healers in true stubborn form. “We can go round and round in this circle if you want. I ain’t agreeing to anything.”

After that, they’d decided to leave him be for now.

At some point, the ARC-hopeful would have to sleep, and that’s when General Windu would attempt his shatterpoint manipulation to nullify the chip. The healers had come to a consensus that this was the least invasive decision while still respecting Jesse’s wishes as much as possible– especially with the knowledge that his decision-making was heavily influenced by his inhibitor chip. Technically, Jesse had only refused the surgery, not the chip’s deactivation, and as Rex remembered his own brief experience with mind control, he knew that Jesse in his right mind would forgive them.

Meanwhile, General Windu had called in a consultant from the Jedi Educorps, and Fox had left to report on Rex’s location and status. The commander felt reasonably confident that doing so now would help minimize the risk of this situation getting even further out of hand than it was already, and would prevent any concerned parties from sending bounty hunters after Rex’s head, or some other worse fate. Rex was just glad that General Skywalker was usually… preoccupied while they were on planet, or he’d be worried about a check-in from his General.

Attempting to tune into the Jedi’s discussion despite the pounding in his head, Rex wasn’t afraid to admit that most of it went over his head, but the bits and pieces he understood weren’t too bad. Apparently, the Educorps consultant was hoping to trial some inoculations with the removed chips before injecting anything into his brothers– again making Rex grateful that Fox had relented from his original resistance to involving the Jedi. Realizing he’d zoned out again, Rex turned back towards the debrief nearby.

“So how’s it work again?” Fives questioned, looking deep in thought as the more technical information went over his head despite his best attempts. The Kaminoans liked to brag about the clones’ memory and intelligence, but flash-training only gave them so much, and the Kaminoans hadn’t prioritized xenomycology in their education. 

Thankfully, a friendly-looking Dressellian looked more than happy to explain. “Most datachips are made with a high percentage of silicon, including the inhibitor chips. After some testing, we’re hoping to determine whether the degradation of the chips’ silicon components would work effectively to wipe any orders or compulsions– without creating any dangerous byproducts from the degradation.”

“Right, we wouldn’t want that…” Fives trailed off, only looking somewhat reassured– and more than a little confused by the unknown Jedi’s explanation, the Dresselian so excited about the topic that he’d completely forgotten to give an introduction.

Thankfully, General Windu was quick to offer some insight. “Knight Reeft is an educorps researcher, specializing in vector transmission and xenoimmunity.”

The Knight, Reeft, rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I used to be a field knight, back before the war, but I got into some heat with the Bounty Hunter Corps, and I’ve always been more of a learner than a fighter. The educorps have been an interest of mine since I was a youngling, and then with all the Knights and Masters out in the field, it’s good to have a few of us around who can handle a saber.”

At that, Reeft and Master Windu shared a look, and not for the first time, Rex wondered at just how vulnerable the Jedi Temple was during wartime. With most of its protectors spread throughout the galaxy, the average Jedi Temple resident was either a youngling, wounded, or a noncombatant. Rex hadn’t missed the surprisingly low number of Jedi they’d passed in the halls, or the fact that, of the Jedi in the Halls of Healing, only Reeft, General Windu, and one other were actively carrying a lightsaber. 

During Rex’s musings, Reeft had gone on to explain his previous research– apparently he’d been looking at ways to expedite the vaccination-creation process through the use of synthetic bacteriophage vectors, although his most recent attempt had accidentally been exposed to a xeno-rhinovirus that corroded the media in his petri dishes, making a good object lesson for the younglings, but had set him back in his research by at least a few weeks, and–

“But how will we know if it works?” Rex interrupted, earning a relieved look from Fives now that the Captain was awake again.

“Human tissue reacts differently to electrical current than silicon. It should be relatively easy to determine when the chips have been deactivated by running a low intensity current through it.”

“Won’t that hurt?” Fives asked, looking nervous. 

Thankfully, Knight Reeft was quick to shake his head. “Not at all. Much higher currents are used safely in standard medical equipment. You’d need extrasensory organs like a Nautolan to even feel it.” He explained, earning a sigh of relief from Fives before he continued.

“As far as I know, there shouldn’t be any harmful byproducts from the fungi metabolizing the silicon, but we’re not exactly sure of the entire makeup of the chips yet, so that’s what we’ll be monitoring once the rest of them are removed.”

With the new 501st chips and the ones removed from Fives, Hardcase, and the others, it made ten samples– more, if the Coruscant Guard were able to transport their recently-removed chips to the temple. Apparently Fox’s medics had been busy in his absence, and while they didn’t have the supplies to remove everyone’s chips, between what Fox had collected in the lower levels and some support from the Jedi temple (Fox had been pretty reluctant in accepting the help, but had eventually relented), they should have enough chips to determine a safe dosage and ensure that there weren’t too many harmful side-effects. And with Fox returning to the room with a satisfied look on his face, they should be getting those soon.

“I think we’re in the clear.” Fox announced, subconsciously knocking twice on his bucket where it sat tucked under one arm. “Might want to up security here for the next day and keep an eye out on your next mission, but thankfully, the Chancellor has a pretty short memory when it comes to us clones.” 

Hard to hunt someone down if you forget they existed, Rex supposed, and based on what he’d heard so far, it wouldn’t be too far from the truth. He tuned in as Fox continued his report– thankfully, he’d been able to get in contact with his medics, and they’d be placing the removed chips at a secure drop point within the next hour for pickup so they could attempt their first trials with the chip deactivations.

“And what sort of side effects might we see from any of those… byproducts?” Fives asked, continuing his line of questioning, making Rex grateful for the ARC’s ability to look for loopholes in any system design– even the ones Rex wished he wouldn’t.

“It’s likely that, like most standard inoculations, you could expect some general fatigue or maybe a low grade fever. The only difference I’d expect is that, since this is a fungal inoculation rather than a bacterial one, you might see some respiratory symptoms, although those wouldn’t last as long, given that it's not endemic to humanoid life forms.”

“And why is that different?”

“Fungi like warm, moist environments, and the human respiratory system is unfortunately full of those.” Knight Reeft explained, earning a grimace from Rex as he remembered his time with the blue shadow virus. 

“Hey, I’ve got a question.” Hardcase interjected from where he’d been sitting on a nearby chair. “I’ve got a couple vode with prosthetic limbs– arms, legs, you name it. If this thing targets mechanics, what’s stopping it from spreading to those– or to the rest of the ship, for that matter?”

Rex winced, wishing he felt a bit more alert than he did– Hardcase made a good point.

Knight Reeft seemed to agree, grimacing at the statement. “In those cases, you’d want to opt for a manual chip removal, which would delay the process, but I’d imagine it would still be more doable than de-chipping the entire GAR that way. And the inoculation dosages wouldn’t be potent enough to warrant concern for something as big as a ship, or even a blaster, especially not if they’re being administered in a standard medbay’s frigid environment.

“I still wish we could tell General Skywalker. I don’t like lying to him about this…” Rex grumbled, resigned to why it had to happen, but still hating it.

“As soon as the last chip is out, have at it, vod.” Fox conceded with a huff of amusement. He couldn’t decide if he’d rather be a fly on a wall or halfway across the galaxy when that conversation took place, but it would definitely be an event.

They continued their discussion of logistics, and someone made a joke about how it wasn't too unusual to get a “recall order” in a product order of this size, but they all paused when General Windu’s attention shifted suddenly to the corner of the Halls of Healing housing the isolation ward.

“Your trooper, Jesse, has fallen asleep.” 

“Finally!” Hardcase exclaimed, jumping up from his chair.

“It’s time then?” Rex asked, struggling to contain his trepidation at what was going to happen. Sure, the shatterpoint thing had worked with him, but this was Jesse.

And as much as Rex hated it, he could only trust in the Force and hope for the best.

_______________________

Once Jesse had been confirmed to be unconscious, General Windu had entered the isolation room with an almost unnatural silence that even the most talented stealth troopers would envy. He raised a hand briefly with a look of focus before turning back towards the door and gesturing for the others to enter.

“He should stay unconscious now until he is ready to awaken, but I would advise against loud noises.” General Windu cautioned, stepping closer now that he wasn’t in danger of being attacked by a half-conscious Jesse.

Rex had questions, but he held them back, not wanting to distract the Jedi from his Force osik while rooting around in his brother’s brain.

Fives held no such reservations. “I get how this worked with Rex, but how does this work with something as small as an inhibitor chip?”

Thankfully, General Windu seemed competent at multitasking as he glanced briefly at Fives before returning to his mental scan of Jesse’s supposed shatterpoints. “Actually, targeting the inhibitor chip is relatively easier than what I did with the Captain.”

“Is it because it’s smaller?” Tup questioned, now curious.

General Windu shook his head. “No, but good guess. The chip relies on inorganic components for its base functions, and one measure of the Force is in midichlorians, which are microscopic life forms inside living organisms. By sensing these midichlorians within Jesse, I am able to better identify the shadows left by the inhibitor chips.”

“Midichlorians measure the force? Is Jesse Force-sensitive?!” Hardcase exclaimed, looking excited for his vod.

At this, Windu chuckled. “That would be unlikely. However, midichlorians are found in all life, giving each of you a presence distinct from the other.”

Rex straightened at that. He’d heard General Skywalker mention that each of them were different in the force, but it was new to hear that this difference was measurable.

Fives looked similarly intrigued, but continued on his line of questioning. “So, since the chips are made up of both living tissue and inorganic components, you’re able to differentiate between them? How do you know it’ll work?” 

General Windu made a quiet humming noise, tilting his head like he was listening to something none of them could hear. “Each of you has a unique presence in the force. When the chip was activated, Lieutenant Jesse’s presence was clouded, but now…” 

He paused, turning back to Jesse, the heaviness in the air seeming to peak and then, all of a sudden, it tapered off into nothing, and Rex noticed Jesse’s forehead furrow.

“He’s starting to wake up!” Tup exclaimed, voice thankfully quiet in the muted Halls of Healing.

Slowly, Jesse’s eyes opened, the cool indifference from earlier now replaced with the familiar warmth Rex associated with one of his closest brothers. Groaning as he finally started to notice the aches and pains of his earlier fight, it didn’t take long for his bleary expression to shift to one of alarm.

“Rex!” He exclaimed, a warring look of relief and horror crossing Jesse’s face, turning pale as a sheet as he realized where he was and what had happened. He attempted to reach for the Captain before finding his hands still bound to the rails, which, after a nod of approval from General Windu, were quickly removed.

“I’m sorry– I-I tried to stop, but I couldn’t, couldn’t control it.” Jesse gritted his teeth, gripping his forearms tightly. “I don’t– I-I wouldn’t… Last thing I remember is going with General Skywalker to the Chancellor’s office, and then, all of a sudden, it’s like I’m locked in the backseat of the speeder, and I-I could’ve–” He trailed off, looking lost before Rex reached forward to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s alright, Jesse. It wasn’t your fault, vod.” He gave Jesse a sympathetic smile, heart twisting for his trooper. Jesse had been one of the lucky few to avoid the worst fiasco of Umbara, starting with friendly fire and ending holding dead brothers killed by their own blasterfire. He was glad that Jesse had been saved from that fate, at least, and that Ahsoka had come in time to save his skin.

“It was the inhibitor chips.” Fives stepped in. “The Kaminoans put control chips in our brains, and yours was activated, at least until General Windu used his force osik on it.” 

At that, Jesse glanced up at the Jedi General who had faded to the back of the room to give the others space. “Thank you, sir.”

“No thanks required, trooper. It is good to see you in your right mind again.” General Windu gave him a slow nod, which Jesse returned gratefully. He attempted to sift through his foggy memories before he remembered something.

“The Chancellor– he said there was an incident on Kamino and that you’d all been killed. It’s good to see you all in one piece.” Jesse smirked at Fives, Hardcase, and the others, giving them a smile before he noticed that something was missing.

“Where… where’s Kix?” He asked, eyes searching the room eagerly like he expected his batchmate to poke his head out from behind a corner and take charge of the medical room-at least, until his eyes landed on Hardcase— Hardcase, standing painfully still for longer than he’d ever seen him stand in one place, form frozen until his expression shattered like glass. Like the world was falling apart, he reached for Jesse almost desperately, burrowing into his shoulder like he hadn’t done since they were cadets.

Arms full of a distraught Hardcase muffling sobs into his blacks, looking lost, Jesse sent a helpless look to the others in the room, begging that his fear wasn’t true. When Fives stepped forward with an expression threatening to crumple, the pit in his stomach only deepened.

“Kix… he sacrificed himself, let himself be captured by the Separatists so that they wouldn’t find us. We– I was knocked unconscious, and none of us would’ve made it out of there without him, a-and the chips…” Fives swallowed thickly, forcing himself to keep it together for his brothers, even as Jesse’s eyes teared up and his grip on Hardcase tightened.

“If we’d all been taken, nobody would know about the inhibitor chips, and the orders on them… they’re pretty bad, vod.” He paused, taking another breath in an attempt to steady himself. “We have some data on his last known whereabouts and the shuttle that took him, but…” Fives trailed off. Jesse didn’t need him to spell it out. Recovering captured troopers from Separatist captivity was a long-shot at best.

And Jesse, brain swirling and feeling like a hole was ripped out of him, clung onto the last batchmate he had left and let himself break for the brother that was taken away from him.

_________________________

AO3 Link:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[stonefreeak]

I got the ‘rona. I’m doing better, it was never a danger to me, but boy I would rate it a 0/10 and I do not recommend. Completely irrelevant to this update tho, hope y’all enjoy it!

"You do know that sometimes it's incredibly difficult to be your friend, right?" Bant says, voice indulgent as she strokes Obi-Wan's hair.

"Mmmph," Obi-Wan replies without moving from where he's lying face down on the sofa, his friends sitting around him.

"The number of almost heart-attacks you've given me over the years..." Bant laughs, then she turns her gaze to Reeft and Garen. "The two of you are only marginally better, and probably only because you weren't raised by Master Jinn nor elected Supreme Chancellor."

Garen laughs.

"Hey, we can't all be part of the truly chaotic lineage that is Master Yoda's."

"When we were still Padawans, I really envied you, Obi-Wan," Reeft says with a grin. "At this point, I'm counting my blessings."

Obi-Wan makes a rude gesture with his hand, still without moving otherwise, which sets his friends off into bouts of laughter again.

These are dark times, they are all busy and stressed, but they take the time together they can, and revel in all the joy there is to be had. Anything else would surely drive them mad.

"So, Reeft, I heard through the grapevine that you have some news for us." Bant gives her old friend an amused glance.

"Oh yeah?" Garen perks up even more, now looking incredibly curious.

Even Obi-Wan pushes himself up somewhat to look at his friend.

"I... I got a padawan," Reeft says and scratches the back of his head. "She's so small and young and I have no idea how I'm going to teach her anything, but... She's great. I just wish..."

They all wish the same thing, Bant knows. They wish there wasn't a war. They wish there was no risk a young Padawan would soon see active battle because their Master is needed out in the field. They wish there was more time for Masters to teach their Padawans in the Temple, with theory and careful lightsaber instructions until they know the other's fighting style well enough to make a truly cohesive team should they need to fight on a mission.

Bant's heart aches as she thinks of all the Padawans whose lives are nothing at all like how her own was when she was a Padawan. They all had time to be children still, even after they became Padawans. Because of the war, because the Jedi were drafted into service...

She tries not to think about it. It hurts too much to think about everything they've lost, of how much of their way of life has been forcibly changed. How much they're all struggling and trying to keep the Galaxy together—even as its other inhabitants do little to nothing to help.

She thinks of their poor poor troopers, and it makes her want to cry.

"Congratulations Reeft!" Obi-Wan says, glowing. As tired as he very obviously is, he is still almost radiant with joy for Reeft.

"Congratulations!" Bant and Garen chime in within a choir.

Reeft is flushing and scratching the back of his head.

"She's going to keep me on my toes, and I'm really looking forward to every moment of it." Reeft grins.

"Glad to hear it, old friend. There really is nothing quite like having a padawan," Obi-Wan says with a smile. "How about you two then? Any plans for a padawan?"

Bant laughs.

"I was hoping to wait until after the war. Unless, of course, I happen to stumble across the perfect candidate or the Council assigns one to me who they think will be a good fit."

Garen nods.

"Same here." He shrugs. "Especially considering the investigation I'm currently heading up with En Castu. It's not the kind of thing you bring a new padawan along on, so it'll have to wait."

The reminder of the investigations makes Bant's stomach turn, and she glances at Obi-Wan. How close they had come to losing him.

"How is the investigation, Garen?" Reeft asks, leaning forward. "I mean, only tell us what you can. And if that's nothing, that's fine too, obviously."

Garen shrugs.

"It's progressing, but slow going. Quinlan Vos ended up finding some clues so now En Castu and I are working with him and Knight Shiana as well to try and solve this whole thing. Vos skips in and out though, doing some undercover work or something, probably. It's... Complicated. Sorry, Obi-Wan. I wish I had better news for you."

Knowing that whoever wants their friend dead is still at large and can hire another assassin at any time worries Bant. There's already been two assassination attempts and then there was the attack on the Senate that nearly killed him...

"Sometimes, Obi-Wan, I really wish you were less competent." She gives him a sad smile.

Obi-Wan huffs in response, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

"Sometimes, Bant, so do I. It would certainly give me more downtime to relax on, if nothing else."

She laughs then, her friends soon joining her.

For now, at least, they still have each other. They're all still here and can support each other, come what may.

There's still hope for the future.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

[shiftybells]

Username Guide try to kill me, I dare you: Obi-Wan Brain Parasites DNI: Xanatos Illegally Alive: Feemor Renesmee/Consecotaleophobia: Quinlan Merry: Reeft Pippin: Garen Lumos: Luminara *Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: Bant War Crimes 'R' Us: Nield Platinum Bitch: Siri Pacifism IS MY KINK: Satine

Chapter Text

Centaxday 17th 38 BBY

03:00

[try to kill me, I dare you is online]

Renesmee: EYO WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU OBES

try to kill me, I dare you: Oh you know, getting stabbed by a ‘fellow’ bounty hunter :)

Merry: I-

Illegally Alive: OBI-WAN PLS

Renesmee: IFE QFIRH

Pippin: obi-wan [b]lease

Pacifism IS MY KINK: Ben.

Pacifism IS MY KINK: Why are you like this

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: PLEASE TELL ME YOUR’E IN MEDICAL

try to kill me, I dare you: I am actually

[try to kill me, I dare you has sent an image]

Obi-Wan had evidently taken the picture himself with one arm stretched out to hold the comm while the other was posed in a peace sign. There was a small slice through the already existing slit in his left eyebrow. Bruises were already blooming on his cheek along with a black eye. Dried blood was smeared across his bottom lip under a scabbed over cut.

War Crimes 'R' Us: Obi-Wan

War Crimes 'R' Us: Why

War Crimes 'R' Us: Were

War Crimes 'R' Us: You

War Crimes 'R' Us: Stabbed

try to kill me, I dare you: got into a fistfight with an obnoxious Duros with an equally obnoxious hat.

Platinum Bitch: better yet, did you win?

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: SIRI

Platinum Bitch: What? It’s a legitimate question.

try to kill me, I dare you: I’ll be fucked if I knew

try to kill me, I dare you: the little bitch ran off after he stabbed me

War Crimes 'R' Us: oof

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: sigh

Illegally Alive: ANYWAYS

Illegally Alive: you need any transport?

try to kill me, I dare you: Nah I’m good, still gonna be stuck here for a few weeks

Pacifism IS MY KINK: Please try to get some sleep Ben

try to kill me, I dare you: No promises :p

[try to kill me, I dare you is now offline]

Renesmee: that was wild

[Lumos is now online]

Lumos: Everyone.

Lumos: Go.

Lumos: To.

Lumos: Bed.

Lumos: Now.

Renesmee: Yes maam

Platinum Bitch: fine

War Crimes ‘R’ Us: apologies Luminara

Pacifism IS MY KINK: Of course Luminara

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: Sorry Lumi!

Merry: jokes on you it’s daytime where I am atm

Pippin: going to bed rn!

Illegally Alive: sorry for bothering you Padawan Unduli

Lumos: Good

[9 Users are now offline]

Zhellday 19th 38 BBY

14:00

[Renesmee has changed their user to: Consecotaleophobia]

Consecotaleophobia: obi you’re a kriffing bitch

try to kill me, I dare you: Talk shit get hit quin

Consecotaleophobia: >:O

Illegally Alive: I-

Illegally Alive: CONTEXT PLEASE

Consecotaleophobia: obi stabbed my hand with a fork :(

try to kill me, I dare you: You act like adding a frowny face is going to get you any pity

Illegally Alive: okay I’ll bite

Illegally Alive: Obi, why did you stab padawan vos with a fork?

try to kill me, I dare you: Quin was being an absolute whore of a Kiffar and kept messing with my report >:\

Consecotaleophobia: :p

Illegally Alive: …..

Illegally Alive: fair enough

[Illegally Alive is now offline]

Consecotaleophobia: OI

try to kill me, I dare you: lmao, sucks to suck

Primeday 22nd 38 BBY

17:45

try to kill me, I dare you: So what did we learn today?

Brain Parasites DNI: You have both a severely crippled self-esteem and a god complex….?

try to kill me, I dare you: W̵͕̤̳̎̿r̴̮̰̖̈́ǫ̴̪͆n̴̤̔̀͠g̴͉͛̒ ̶̬̿͌a̸͓͔̲̒̽̚ń̴̛̤̈́s̶͓͓̓̌͜w̷̹̜̟̓e̶̜̰͌͑̊r̶̫̂̽͠ ̴̦̝̊>̵͙͋͘͜:̶̫̋̇͝)̸̛͓̝͋

Illegally Alive: WOW DON’T LIKE THAT

Brain Parasites DNI: YOU DON’T LIKE A LOT OF THINGS

Illegally Alive: AND YET, IM STILL DOING BETTER THAN YOU

Brain Parasites DNI: OI KRIFF OFF IM PERFECT

try to kill me, I dare you: XAN YOU KIDNAPPED AND SOLD ME INTO SLAVERY WHEN I WAS 12

Brain Parasites DNI: OK THAT WASN’T ONE OF MY FINEST MOMENTS

try to kill me, I dare you: NO SHIT SHERLOCK

Illegally Alive: WHY CANT WE HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY

try to kill me, I dare you: SOMEONE FELL TO THE DARKSIDE

Brain Parasites DNI: THAT WASN’T BY MY FREE WILL

Brain Parasites DNI: BRAIN WORMS FROM THE SITH WARS ARE KRIFFING BITCHES

Pippin: WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING!?

try to kill me, I dare you: I DON’T KNOW

try to kill me, I dare you: COMEDIC EFFECT I PRESUME

Pippin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Illegally Alive: AAAAAAAAAAAA

Brain Parasites DNI: AAAAAAAAA

try to kill me, I dare you: Ā̸͉̤Å̷̩̤͘A̵̢̳̞͋͐A̵̢͑́͠Ã̶̺̱̳A̸̳̠͎̾͋͝Á̸̲̱̩Ā̴̢͓̒̎Ä̵̡͓̞́͝A̸͋͜A̶̦̐̅A̷̛̫͈̘Ā̵̮̰̊̓Ǎ̸̢̘͉͝

Illegally Alive: Okay, we good now?

try to kill me, I dare you: Yup

Brain Parasites DNI: I think so

Illegally Alive: cool

[Three users are now offline]

Pacifism IS MY KINK: Pardon my explicit language

Pacifism IS MY KINK: But what the fuck

Platinum Bitch: oh yeah i forgot that you didnt get any context

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: So for some context, Xanatos was training to become a Jedi shadow with Feemor

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: I don’t know the specifics of the mission but long story short Xan's brain got snatched by a preserved parasite from the Sith Wars that wasn't detectable and it turned him to the dark side.

Pacifism IS MY KINK: That sounds... like a convoluted ya novel

Consecotaleophobia: ikr!?

Centaxday 1st 38 BBY

Consecotaleophobia: god id dead and everything is worthless

Platinum Bitch: LMAO GET DUNKED ON

Pippin: WHEEZE

War Crimes ‘R’ Us: do we want to know?

Consecotaleophobia: N O

Merry: Obi-Wan and Siri thoroughly humiliated Quin in front of a bunch of initiate Shadow's

Consecotaleophobia: REEFT I TRUSTED YOU RAISIN HEAD

Merry: RAISIN HEAD!?

Pippin: PRETTY SURE AT LEAST HALF OF THE RECRUITS HAVE CRUSHES ON OBES AND SIRI NOW LMAO

Consecotaleophobia: OH KRIFF OFF

[*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly* is now Online]

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: OK I WANT TO KNOW

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: WHY IS THE CAFETERIA ON FIRE

[Lumos is now Online]

Lumos: Oh that would be my fault

Lumos: I would say I'm sorry, but I'm really not.

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: .....

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: Lumi

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: WHY

Lumos: >:)

*Brandishes Medical Saw Menacingly*: Sigh

[itstimeforstarwars]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Garen and Bant can't sleep, so they decide to drag their friends into a padawan pile.

(Yaypril day 3: sleep)