[An image of a crumpled piece of notebook paper. Lines of writing in a cramped, neat handwriting cover the page. It appears to have been torn to pieces, but reassembled for the recording purposes. There is a deep indent in the middle of the page where it was wrapped around something vaguely rectangular. It reads:]
Xen,
By the time you read this, I’ll be off planet. I don’t know how long it will take you to forgive me enough to find this wherever you stashed it, but I hope it’s not too late for me to try to make up for things.
I’m sorry I’m leaving you. I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye in person.
I knew that if I saw how angry you are at me, I wouldn’t be able to go through with it… and not going through with it isn’t an option.
The REFUGE mission has to succeed, and I need to be on it for that to happen.
Maybe that’s narcissistic of me to say, but everyone around me seems to believe it- and I believe it too. This crew is made of the most experienced, most educated, most skilled and talented people I’ve ever met. The best of the best. We are all needed to make sure that nothing goes wrong.
I can’t stay.
I’m sorry.
I’ve included something in this letter that I hope will help make you slightly less angry with me. It’s a flash drive that I took from the lab. Theoretically, anything that you put onto it will be instantly accessible via its other half. Its not a copy, it’s that same file- both drives access the same data storage.
You have this one, and I have the other. If you ever need me, you can contact me by putting a file onto the drive, and I’ll be able to get it and respond, hopefully even when we’re FTL.
Admittedly, I don’t know if it will work. It’s not exactly finished, and I wasn’t exactly supposed to be taking it from the lab, but it’s the only thing I could think of that would help make it feel less like I was abandoning you. I thought it might make you feel better to know that you can reach me if you need me.
I’m going to be alright, Xen. You will be too, and so will everything else. Everything’s going to be fine.
I’ll see you once we’re planetside and we have communications reestablished.
Your brother,
Xisuma Void
[On the bottom of the page, several words have been scratched into the paper by a different, shakier hand.]
Hi- you wrote the Refuge AU, right? Sorry, I couldn't find the blog for it and was wondering what happened to it... (also it's very well written, btw!!)
Nonny, I’ve tried to answer this four times already and I still don’t know how to put it the best way, so I’m sorry if this comes off rude or harsh or mean or dumb or something.
I did write the Refuge AU. It did have a blog. A side blog. From my main blog.
I deleted the sideblog.
...
I haven’t been in the best of places recently. I’ve been doing really well at hiding it- I think- but that’s the truth.
Since I’ve been so down, I’ve done a lot of introspection, and as I’ve done so... I’ve started to associate the Refuge AU with the ‘bad’. And I know, logically, that it has nothing to do with all the shit that was going down, but...
So I stopped updating the AU, and I tried to ignore the side blog but every time I opened my blog list it was always there and I always felt gross even though I knew that there was no reason for me to be feeling so bad about something I created, something I poured DAYS of my life into-
And it got to be too much. I deleted it.
I’m sorry.
I’ve still got all of the fic part of it in a google doc, and if you look now, you’ll find that there’s an empty blog at @refuge-au
It’s not a side blog.
I’m going to mess around with permissions on the google doc, and then I’m going to post a link on the blog tagged above. Everyone will be able to access the google doc. Everyone will be able to read the entirety of the fic/arg easily and in order and right there.
Once the link is posted, I don’t think I’m gonna go on that blog for a while. I don’t know if I’m ever going to continue the Refuge AU- and I’m sorry for that too.
I’m just...
Tired.
I guess.
I know this wasn’t the answer you were looking for. I’m glad that you like the story. I’ve always liked telling stories. I’m sorry that this one isn’t going to get the ending that it, or it’s readers, deserve.
The room was much too small for four people to stay in for fifteen minutes, much less two and a half hours. Barely enough room for a table and four chairs, the undecorated white walls and the windowless door teamed up with the low ceiling to make the sensation that the walls were closing in bad enough that Doc wanted to- to-
To claw his way out of this hellhole with his bare hands, run into the woods, and live out the remaining years he had left before he… live out the remaining years he had left as a wild man in the woods.
The chatter from his team wasn’t helping. Their voices bounced off the walls, reverberating and doubling back on them. He had paced the perimeter of the room two hundred and three times, and he was about to make it two hundred and four as he desperately tried to keep calm. He wasn’t built for small spaces. None of them were.
Well, Etho was, but Etho was an anomaly, and besides, as long as he had the ability to bother Bdubs in one way or another, he would be happy as a clam. To prove that point, the man himself was, as Doc completed his lap around the room, grinning devilishly and reaching across Bdubs, who was sputtering, and holding a small golden pocket watch as far away from him as possible.
“You keep your filthy paws off my property!” Bdubs cried, attempting to shove Etho away with his free hand.
Etho was using his height to his advantage, not even having to strain to keep his prize almost in reach. “Oh, come on, man, I just want to see it-“
“See it? You’ll break it! Take it apart! And it’ll never be the same! Ship of Theseus! Beef! Help!”
“Ship of Theseus is when you replace all the parts of something, not when you take something apart and put it back together.” Beef said, his eyes not leaving the wall. “So, us, not the watch.”
Etho snorted, and Doc sighed heavily, stopping in his tracks in front of the door.
“I’m sick of this.” He said tersely. “They’re not coming to get us. Let’s find our own way down.”
“That would be a wonderful idea, if that door wasn’t locked from the outside.” Bdubs said, lowering his guard as Etho leaned away from him, settling fully into his seat for the first time. “I don’t think they’ll appreciate you breaking down their door.”
“Well, I don’t appreciate them keeping us in here for hours without telling us what’s going on!” Doc said. “You can stay if you want, but I’m getting the hell out of here.”
“Just don’t try to pin the blame on me this time.” Beef said, standing up and moving around to the other side of the room. “Want me to help?”
“No, I’ve got it.” Doc said, and after pressing one hand to the metal, he drew back his other arm, and punched forward.
The door slammed into the wall on the other side of the hallway, a fist shaped dent directly next to the handle. Doc shook out his arm, steam hissing as the vents along its side glowed red, as he stepped into the hallway. Almost instantly it was easier to breath, his back straightening as he rolled his shoulders back.
The rest of the team joined him in the hallway, Beef dragging the door back along the scratches it had made in the floor to rest it gingerly against the doorframe.
“They’ll never notice anything’s different.” Etho said dryly.
“Of course not.” Beef replied. “After all, you did a great job getting us out of there discreetly.”
“Oh, so the story’s that I punched the door open?”
“What’re you talking about stories for? That’s what happened!” Bdubs chimed in, elbowing Etho in the ribs gently, and earning an eye roll.
“Bdubs, you want to take us down to the lab?” Doc asked, craning his neck to look down the hallway. As much as he would love to stay and chat, the longer they lingered, the more likely they would be caught at the scene of the crime- and that never ended well.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get us there.” Bdubs pulled out the watch again, checking it, then flipping it over to check the compass built into its underside. He frowned slightly at what he saw, spinning on his heel to face the other direction and cocking his head to the side.
It was always easy to see when Bdubs was mapping. He always did the same thing. Check the time, check where North is, recall, if they’d been there before, or he’d seen a map, or estimate, if they were on their own. Then, within a few seconds, once he’d determined the right route-
“Alrighty, folks.” Bdubs said, tucking the watch away into his pocket. “Follow me!”
Bdubs led the group down the hallway and into a skinny stairwell that seemed to go up or down into infinity, whichever way you wanted to look. Without hesitation, he started to head downstairs, so the rest of the group followed suit.
Several flights of stairs later, they reached the basement, and entered the lab through a set of double doors that lead onto a metal catwalk.
It was huge, the room stretching off into the distance, much larger than the building they had been in for sure. Computers lined most of the walls, and tables covered in scientific equipment and technology turned most of the floor into a maze. Beef whistled lowly at the sight of it, and even Etho made a noise of approval.
Near the middle of the room a space had been cleared, with several large blue tanks set up around it, and a terminal with lots of wires running out of it square in the center.
A man with frizzy hair looked up from the terminal as they approached, and frowned. “Where’s your escort?”
“We weren’t given one.” Beef said. “Had to find our way down on our own.”
“And we are so sorry about that.” A voice came from behind, and they turned to see Xisuma striding across the floor in a battered green combat suit, a helmet tucked under his arm. Several people trailed after him, including a harried looking assistant that appeared to be holding a breathing mask, and several people in the same uniforms that the team was wearing.
Most worrying of the people following him, was the group of armed guards surrounding a cyborg with pink and gold metallic augmentations. The man didn’t appear to be restrained at all, but there was a large bolt of some sort attached to his neck, close to his jaw, and he didn’t look very happy to be there.
Most interesting of the people following him was a man who made Doc stop dead in his tracks. He was tall, his skin a deep red that was mottled with lighter reds and pinks, two stubby horns barely poking out from his short black hair. His mouth was closed, but Doc was sure if he opened it, he’d see fangs, and if he would move his hands so they weren’t clasped in front of him, hidden, he was sure he would see that the pads of his fingers were black.
He was a Hybrid.
Like him.
He didn’t have time to process what this meant, or say anything, unfortunately, as the scientists swarmed around them, checking vitals, ushering them towards the tubes they would be sleeping away the long journey in- Xisuma stood in the center, next to the man who had spoken to them, overseeing it all.
As the scientists stepped away, the man on the computer cleared his throat.
“Right. Well. My name is Jaspers. I’m the one in charge of the cryounit operation, and this is hopefully the only time you’ll ever see me, since I’m remaining groundside. Let’s skip the pleasantries and get to business, shall we?”
“The first thing that’s going to happen is we’re going to put a tube down your trachea, into your lungs, and then we’re going to affix a breathing mask to that. Then we’re going to put you to sleep, and we’ll handle the rest from there. It’ll be a very quick, almost painless procedure for you.” Jaspers said.
“Ah, almost painless. That’s always fun.” Beef murmured.
Jaspers sighed, and moved over to Doc, opening the cryopod and having him step inside. Doc swallowed as the glass almost enclosed him.
“Hey, Doc in a jar! Five bucks a pop, get ‘em now at your local supermarket.” Bdubs called.
“Come on, five bucks? I’m worth at least ten.” He replied, smile fading as Jaspers approached with a flexible tube and a mask.
It didn’t hurt, necessarily, seeing as his trachea had been replaced with machinery along with his larynx and most of his outer throat, but sitting there, fully conscious with a tube down his throat, inside his lungs, and coming out of his mouth was a weird feeling.
“Very attractive.” Etho said dryly from the pod beside him. Doc wiggled his eyebrows and resisted the urge to speak, trying to swallow the fear that was rising inside of him. He was fine. This was fine. He shouldn’t be nervous.
God knows he’d been through worse.
“Alright. We’ll be putting you under now.” Jaspers said, appearing from nowhere with an air mask.
Doc’s eyes widened. Now? Right now? Before all the others? Without saying goodbye? Right now? What? No. No!
But the mask was being fitted over his face, and he couldn’t make any noise beside a sort of strangled groan.
“See you on the other side, Doc!” Bdubs said, the others chiming in with vaguely reassuring goodbyes- no, not goodbyes. Goodbyes were too permanent. Too final. They weren’t goodbyes, they were… see you laters?
He didn’t have time to think of what exactly they were, as the mask hissed, gas filling his lungs with no resistance, and his world went dark.
The conference room was small and sparsely decorated, little more than a round table and a handful of chairs in an empty room. The walls were bare, the table empty, and the window that looked out into the hallways covered by blinds.
The window that looked out onto the street, to the east, may as well have been covered too. The only thing visible when you looked out was the greyish hue of smog.
Doc sat in the chair closest to the door on the east side of the table. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his feet were up on the table. He knew his attempt at nonchalance wasn’t fooling anybody, but it didn’t hurt to try.
Etho sat to his right, leaned over the table and absently spinning a rubix cube in his hands. Every so often he’d scramble it and then solve it quickly afterward, seeming slightly disappointed. His left eye was covered in a plain black eyepatch that wasn’t quite big enough to cover the extent of the scarring.
Bdubs sat on Etho’s other side, the drumming of his fingers on the table and the way his eyes flickered from one side of the room to the other every couple of seconds the only things betraying the amount of nervous energy contained inside him.
Beef sat in the last chair on their side of the table, staring at the covered interior window as if he could see through the blinds and into the hallways behind it. His face was expressionless, apparently lost in thought.
No one spoke.
It was the kind of silence they had sat in many times before- part comfort, of being around people who know you better than almost anyone else in the world, and part anxious anticipation. None of them knew exactly what was going to come next.
They had been contacted individually a week or two ago, letters that had no return address slipped under doors or through mail slots. What usually would have been some sort of threat or insult turned out to be a job interview opportunity.
Come to a certain building two weeks from now, the letters read. Tell the receptionist that you’re looking for refuge. Someone will be in to see you shortly.
The most paranoid of the group (Beef) had found out that it was sent by some sort of government official or organization before he contacted the rest of the group to see if they had received the same summons. After a brief discussion, a decision was reached. They would hear out whoever wanted to talk to them.
If things went down badly… as long as they were together they would be able to fight their way out.
Most of the invitation had been true. They found the correct address, and were taken to a room when they asked for refuge… but the person that they were waiting for had not come shortly. It felt like they had been waiting for an eternity- even though his internal clock told him it had only been about twenty minutes.
Ten more minutes, he decided, and then he would leave. If whoever the hell wanted to talk to them was going to be late, they should have told the receptionist to tell them or something. It was basic human decency- although admittedly that did seem to be in short supply these days.
The door handle turned with a click, and four pairs of eyes locked onto it immediately. There was a moment of nothing, and then the door swung open, letting a relatively tall brunette man into the room.
His hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, all brown except for a single streak of white from a large x-shaped scar that stretched across most of his face. It was an old scar, very faded, the chunks of white in his hair and his beard some of the only things left to prove that it was there.
He looked slightly winded as he smiled, shutting the door behind him. “Hello, gentlemen. Sorry about the wait. There was a bit of a… conflict. Downstairs, and I ended up having to sort it out.”
He walked over to the table pulling off his gloves and unwrapping his respirator from around his neck before sitting down across from Etho and folding his hands together. “So. You all actually came.”
“Did you expect us not to?” Beef asked, eyeing him warily, apparently not recognizing him.
“Of course not! A government official contacting you out of nowhere, asking you to come and meet them? The fact that you have enough faith in humanity to come here, despite everything, without knowing anything about why you’re being asked here… it’s amazing.” He grinned.
“Amazing is one word for it, sure.” Bdubs said, leaning forward in his chair. “But uh, who are you, and why exactly are we here?”
“If you’re going to try to kill us, we’ll give you a thirty second head start.” Doc added dryly. “But no more than that.”
The man chuckled. “We’re not trying to kill you, we’re trying to offer you a job.”
A job?
Before Doc could express his hesitation, the man continued, putting a hand to his chest:
“My name is Xisuma Void, Captain Void to most people, but you can call me X. I’m putting together a crew.”
“Like a boat crew?” Bdubs asked, brow furrowing slightly.
“A spaceship crew. I’ve been given a mission- go to uncharted territory, chart it, and start a colony on a planet outside the solar system.” He extended his hands in front of him, gesturing to the team. “I’d like you to come with me.”
For a moment, there was silence.
“…What’s the catch?” Etho asked slowly.
“Catch?” Xisuma asked.
“We’re not from here.” Etho said, and Beef chuckled. “There’s always a catch.”
Xisuma shook his head slowly. “I don’t think… well… how about I just tell you what the job would entail before we decide if there’s a catch or not?”
Doc looked across the table to the others. Bdubs nodded, Beef shrugged, and Etho set down the rubix cube for the first time since he had gotten into the room. X took that as permission to continue.
“Do you remember all those stories in the news about the government funneling money into a secret project?” X asked.
“And everybody was worried that it was gonna be another war.” Bdubs said. “We remember.”
“They were building a ship for this mission. It’s been in progress for years now, but they’ve ramped up construction in the past several months. The ship will be fully built in three months, and the mission will begin no sooner than six months from now.” Xisuma stood, either ignoring or not noticing the way that the rest of the group tensed when he moved, and began to pace up and down the length of the table. “The ship- the Refuge- will exit the solar system in about one and a half years, and then it’ll be four and a half to eight and a half years til we reach Haven.”
“Haven?” Doc interjected. “That’s the planet?”
X nodded.
“Bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Bdubs asked.
X shrugged, not pausing in his pacing. “I wasn’t the one that named it.”
“So what do you want us to do?” Beef asked. “None of us have ever been to space before. Sure, Etho may have been… built for it, but…”
“You don’t have to worry about the space stuff.” X said, stopping and leaning on the back of the chair he had been sitting in. “Just the landing part of the mission. The way that this is set up, there are two smaller groups within the crew as a whole- the ship crew and the colony crew. While the ship crew will transition into being a part of the colony crew once we land, the colony crew doesn’t have to be a part ship crew. It’s unnecessary, and most of the crew mates don’t have essential skills for the trip.”
“So what does the colony crew do during the flight?” Beef asked, his brow furrowed.
“Sleep.” X responded. “We have two cryogeneticists on the crew that will be maintaining and caring for frozen personnel and assets.”
“Which one would we be?” Doc asked.
X looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know whether the question was a joke or not. “Personnel… in total, if you decide to take me up on the offer, we’ll have nine people frozen out of a crew of thirty six. Most of the ship can be run mechanically, but we still need the ship crew to oversee everything.”
“And what would we be doing when we get planet-side? What’s our actual job going to be?” Bdubs asked.
“Building, scouting surrounding areas, neutralizing any potential threats, whatever needs to be done, really.” X sighed. “Unfortunately, since a mission like this has never been attempted before, I can’t tell you exactly what we’re going to need you to do. If you accept, I can give you the paperwork that runs through several potential scenarios, but… there’s a lot that we just don’t know.”
“I’m not going to ask you to sign on immediately, but I’d like your responses as soon as possible.” X concluded. “There’s a packet with the receptionist downstairs that has more information-“
“I’ll do it.” Bdubs said, cutting him off.
X blinked. “What?”
“I’ll do it.” He repeated, leaning back in his chair. “It sounds exciting, it’s a chance to travel somewhere without risking being carsick, it’s getting away from everything that’s going on here… and we’re probably not gonna get another chance at this for at least six years, right?”
X nodded.
“I can’t speak for the guys, obviously, but you’ve got one.”
“I’m in too.” Doc decided, taking his feet off the table and sitting up straight. “There’s not a whole hell of a lot for me to do here, not many people that want me here, and somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get yourself killed.” He said, pointing a vaguel accusatory finger at Bdubs, who rolled his eyes. “I still want the packet, but I’m in.”
X grinned. “Wonderful! And… I suppose, do you want to make your decision now too?” He turned his attention to Beef and Etho.
“I’ll agree… but I reserve the right to change my mind if we start getting ready and things seem off.” Etho said, picking his rubix cube back up and spinning it on its corner. “I may have been made for space travel, but they kept me grounded for a reason.”
“I agree with Etho, minus the spaceman bit.” Beef said. “Also, can we have your phone number, or some way to contact you?”
Xisuma’s grin turned into a softer, warmer smile. “Everything that you’ll need is going to be in the packets. Welcome to the team, gentlemen.”
The model in the center of the entrance hall spun slowly, the mechanical, to scale, planets orbiting the massive sun at a rate thousands of times faster than their real counterparts did. The fake sun glowed softly, it’s light dimming briefly as Jupiter crossed between it and the man viewing it. Jupiter’s moons and the metallic arms that held them above the ground created a spiderweb pattern of shadows on the ground that slowly swept across the body of the visitor as it moved.
Xisuma stood several feet away from the center of the solar system model, his eyes tracing the path of Earth as it came out from behind the sun in an almost melancholy way. His brown hair was tied back in a short ponytail, his beard freshly trimmed- although you couldn’t see it at all thanks to the respirator he was wearing. He had even gone to the trouble of putting on one of his more casual dress uniforms.
The effort hadn’t gone unnoticed by the museum staff, drawing a couple of confused looks and some whispers, but he did his best to ignore him. What he had to say wouldn’t go over well, so he might as well look nice. Get some compliments.
The door opened, and the employee greeted the group of people that walked in cheerfully. X turned around, taking a deep breath, and smiled. Show time.
An older woman, just a bit shorter than him, her hair almost completely white, was pushing the wheelchair of a man that someone might have mistaken for him, if his hair weren't as white as hers and his face covered in scars. The woman checked in at the front desk quickly, showing a pass, and then turned and saw him, her eyes crinkling in a smile.
She walked over to Xisuma, the man in the wheelchair saying something and rolling over to the other side of the model.
“Hey, mom.” He said, trying to ignore the way his bottom lip trembled when she pulled him into a hug, her respirator digging into his shoulder.
“You’re all dressed up.” She said, stepping back and putting a hand to his cheek in the way that she always had when they were little. “You look nice, honey.”
“Thank you.” He said, bringing his hand up to cover hers. “You look nice too.”
She chuckled, patting the side of his face and then putting her hand down. “Oh, stop. I didn’t realize that this was going to be a formal dress event, or I would’ve thrown on something besides my work clothes.”
“It’s not a formal dress event, I just felt like cleaning up a bit.” Xisuma shrugged, hoping that the tension in his shoulders didn’t betray the news that he was bringing. “Haven’t had the opportunity to wear this in a bit, got a discount on museum admission, you know.”
She smiled at him again, but her eyes seemed… sad. “…Xisuma, we’re very proud of you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” He replied. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, just looking at him, as if she was searching for an answer to an unspoken question in his eyes. Whatever she found there didn’t seem to change her emotions, her soft smile and that strange sadness remaining as she pulled her purse to the front of her, opening it.
“You should go talk to your brother, dear. I need to go change my filter before I forget.”
“You didn’t change it before you came here? Mom…”
She waved one hand in the air as she continued to move things around in her purse with the other. “The alert came just as we got inside. A few minutes on a bad filter isn’t going to kill me.”
“…Alright. We’ll wait for you.” Xisuma said, and his mother waved him off as he headed over to the other side of the model where his twin brother was sitting, staring up at the planets in silence.
He reached his side, and stopped. Neither of them spoke for what seemed like forever.
Finally his brother spoke. “Xisuma.”
“Xenelis.” He replied, looking down to find his twin’s steely grey eyes staring up at him.
“Where are they sending you this time?” Xenelis’ voice was quiet, raspy- although he didn’t know if it was from the medical grade respirator attached to his mouth and nose or from his vocal cords being underused.
Xisuma started. “What? What do you mean?”
“You didn’t visit us at home or at the hospital, you called us out. You’re dressed up, but you didn’t tell us that this was a formal event. You’re stiffer than usual, which is saying something, and you look like you’re homesick even though you’re a fifteen minute commute away from your apartment.” Xenelis said, his voice carefully void of all emotion. “Where are they sending you?”
Xisuma looked away, breaking eyes contact and staring up at the solar system spinning above him. “Off planet.”
“Out of galaxy?”
“Yes.”
“How far?”
Xisuma didn’t respond for a moment too long, and that was all the answer that his brother needed. His sigh, heavy and full of disappointment and bitterness, hit Xisuma like a bullet to the heart.
“Of course.” Xenelis said. “Well, congratulations. You did it. You left us behind, just like you always wanted too. Good job, bro.”
“Damnit, Xen, you know that’s not-“ Xisuma rounded on his brother, hands automatically going to his hips.
“It’s not? It’s not? It sure as hell looks like it is. You’ve been leaving our whole lives, Iz- it’s just nonstop leaving and leaving and leaving- and now you finally don’t have to come back!” Xenelis snapped. “Good for you! Living your dream!”
“This mission is for the sake of the entire planet! I can’t just refuse to go on a mission that might make or break the human race-“
“Of course you can! You’re not the only high ranking officer out there! They could’ve found someone else, anyone else!”
“They came to me, specifically, asked me to pick out a crew, told me that we would save the world- how am I supposed to turn that offer down? You would’ve taken it in an instant-“
“Not if you were in my position I fucking wouldn’t’ve-!”
“Boys?” Their mom called from the other side of the model.
“Coming, mom.” They chorused automatically, shooting each other a glare. Xisuma walked around one side of the model and Xenelis rolled around the other, meeting in the middle.
Their mother smiled at both of them, apparently unaware of the argument that had been rapidly escalating until she entered the conversation. “There you are. Shall we go look at the new exhibits? I heard they had one about the Titanic.”
“Sure, mom.” Xisuma said, falling into step behind her as she led the way into the museum.
The visit was… cordial. Their mother chatted with both of them about equally, talking about this and that, whatever came to her mind. She was probably trying to fill the heavy silence that fell between the twins, Xenelis refusing to speak to Xisuma, and vice versa.
When they reached the end of their museum tour, pausing in the aquarium section before they left, Xisuma bit the bullet.
“Mom,” he said, folding his hands behind his back. “I have something I need to tell you.”
“Go ahead, dear.” She said absently, watching as a massive manta ray swam overhead.
Bathed in the blue light from the massive aquarium tank, she and Xenelis looked almost peaceful. Gods only knew how made Xen really was, however, and Xisuma knew that it was only a trick of the light. Or maybe it was a trick of the mind, him trying to convince himself that him leaving wouldn’t hurt them as much as he knew it would.
“…I’m leaving.” He said, turning to watch as the manta continued on its way. “They’re sending me on a mission to deep space.”
Her eyes closed momentary, steeling herself as she turned to him. “Deep space?”
“Past Centauri.” He said quietly. “They’re building a team of scientists and researchers to start colonizing a new planet.”
“Why so far away?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly.
“Mars can’t sustain a population like Earth’s, and after the Venus colonies failed… the galaxy isn’t suitable for life anymore. You know it’s true, mom. You’ve watched it happen. Think of how different things are now from when you were a kid.” His tone was soft, but he knew that there was a hint of pleading in there somewhere. She must understand. She wouldn’t be mad at him too, right?
“I know, I know, but… but of all people, why you?” Her voice broke, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.
Xisuma’s heart sank as he stepped forward, hugging her. “They couldn’t find anyone better to do it. Mom-“
“When will you come home?” She asked, her voice thick with tears.
“I don’t know.” Maybe never. “I… don’t know.”
She cried for a while, and her sons remained in silence, one other knowing what to say, and the other not wanting to say anything.
When she finally stopped, she only had positive things to say. She was proud of him, she was sure he was going to do great, they would be able to communicate, even if it wasn’t face to face… but that sorrow in her eyes that he had noticed before was much more prevalent.
Had she expected this?
Was he really as predictable as Xen said he was?
They said their goodbyes just outside the museum. His mother hugged him tightly, told him she would see him soon.
Xenelis’ eyes crinkled in what he knew was some form of a mocking smile or sneer. “I hope you have fun, Iz.”
“I’m not leaving right away. I’ll see you again.”
“That’s what you always say.” Xen retorted sharply, turning and rolling away towards the ramp down to the street, where their mother was already waiting.
Xisuma stood at the door to the museum and watched them get into a car and fade out of sight, his heart heavy in his chest.
Computer: New Command unlocked!
Computer: Input the command Profile: [Name] to open the file associated with that person. Please note: some files or portions of files may not be available due to clearance levels.
Reminder: If at any point in your perusal of the files you have any questions, simply open the Input Command tab and begin your command with [Help:]. I will then partially deimmerse you from the file you are viewing and do the best I can to help you with whatever problem you have come across.
I will also be with you as you proceed with the immersion, although you will not be able to sense my presence or interact with me for the most part. When I do need to interact with you, perhaps to inform you of missing information or necessary commands to be inputted, you will be able to see my communication like so:
Computer: This is me talking to you like I will talk to you while you are immersed. Is that clear?
…
Good.
...
Begin immersion?
…
Locating intact files.
...
Intact existing files found near the beginning of the voyage. Would you like me to open them?
…
Curious. We have reached a point where input is required already.
It appears that there are three mostly intact files from the very beginning of the voyage- before the ship even set off, if the dates are correct.
