I hope you get around to writing an actual post on Alfred. I’ve been writing one in my head for a while now. Will I ever actually write it? Probably not. I’d start with how the concept of the character is dated at best. Then a whole rant about how messed up it is that he’s supposed to be family, a parent and also a servant who’s attached to his role as a butler. The emphasis on the parent thing is mostly in fics and I wish more writers would actually look at weirdness of the situation. I love the sassy butler trope, it just doesn’t stretch very far. Somebody needs to write a modern origin story for Bruce/Batman where people realize that leaving a kid to get raised by the help is not healthy. (Sorry for ranting in your inbox. I love Alfred, really.)
I finished the post, although it is specifically about recognizing Alfred as a flawed person instead of a perfect paragon, which is just one of many angles to discuss.
The butler/family thing is so weird, because it gradually developed over new additions to canon, without ever getting a super great explanation.
Although Alfred-as-Bruce's-parent does get a lot of focus in fandom and fic, it is still absolutely something that is present and referenced in canon. They are Stoic Men Who Don't Talk About Their Feelings, so it's exceptionally rare to say outright, but they have said it.
But see--we started with Alfred Beagle being introduced in the golden age, meeting Bruce for the first time after Dick is Robin. By the silver age, he was replaced with Alfred Pennyworth, who had a different personality, but arrived at the same time. He's the butler--a beloved butler, blending into friend and family in a natural way, but still someone Bruce met as an adult.
And then, Post Crisis, it is declared that Alfred has been working for the Waynes since Bruce was a child, and everything shifts. And their relationship is given more closeness, except now there's this parent/child aspect to it. At that is pretty odd, but still in a way that imo can work for the oddness that is Bruce Wayne. Alfred is Bruce's butler, but Alfred is also an adult Bruce has known since he was a kid and they are pseudo-familial.
Only then we get the addition that Alfred actually did raise Bruce after his parents died and the whole thing just...falls apart.
Like, listen, I think the Alfred-Bruce relationship is very sweet for the most part, but it is also weird for kid!Bruce's guardian to be his old butler. And it is even weirder for Alfred to be his butler again as an adult. And it is weirdest of all for Alfred to have apparently SIMULTANEOUSLY been a butler and a guardian when Bruce was growing up???? how??
(okay: the how is that apparently bruce faked custodial paperwork or something, but that is still exceptionally weird, and also giving child Bruce a LOT of skill, despite him having no reason for those skills at the time.)
Inserting Leslie Thompson as Bruce's guardian can kind of repair some of that, but I don't think canon has ever made her more than a co-guardian to Alfred. And, more important tbh, she's not a character that gets enough focus to be seamlessly inserted as Bruce's major caretaker from ages 8-18.
I don't know. I guess if I were to try to explain it--in Bruce's youth, Alfred knew he wouldn't accept a new parent-figure and that his whole world was already thrown upside-down, so Alfred tried to preserve some small piece of the status quo in maintaining a butler act even when he was Bruce's guardian. And when Bruce returns from his years of traveling and training, Alfred is afraid he will refuse the implied emotional support of a parent (or maybe Bruce outright does), and so he falls back to the familiar pattern of "ah but I am just your butler" to trick Bruce into accepting his help and caretaking anyway.
...but it is still weird (and more weird that the people around them have little to no commentary on the dynamics of that relationship). And even with the best intentions, it still leads me to think Alfred probably could and should have done more to be open with Bruce instead of maintaining patterns. I would LOVE to see a writer try to tackle it from a modern perspective.