#rip blitz

[more-things-in-heaven-hell]

SPOTTED!! TARGET LOCKED. The imp called him out possibly a dozen times but his voice didn't seem to reach Lucifer. the music && chatter of a ballroom full of people were likely at fault there so—the imp didn't hesitate to IMProvise on the spot. with a toothy grin he took the dildo-shaped gift ( a wrapped up carrot ) && YEETED it towards the King's head shouting:

❝ INCOMIN' GIFT!!! CAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!! ❞

“Ah yes I see —-“ he paused mid conversation when he heard someone shout out something and turned — only to get beamed right in the face — by a … Dildo?!

—————

“OW MY FUCKING EYE?!—-“ who the hell just assaulted him with a dildo?—-and why did it smell like a carrot ?!

Almost everyone froze and the guards quickly zeroed in on Blitz —-

[band-of-demons]

@icecoldmarquees @blitzbuckz

"You mean I have permission to try that kind of magic before I'm eighteen?"

[icecoldmarquees]

See kids, this is what happens when you don't use rubber, you end up with shadow ban herpes @blitzbuckz

[blitz-and-hearth]

Alex: ‘Sup Hearth, hows life?

Hearthstone: I don't know, let's see

Hearthstone, turning to Blitzen: Well, how are you?

Blitzen, voice cracking and tearing up: I-I’m fine

[flowers-inverted]

How come no one ever quotes fall out boy in soulmate aus titles? Like "part time soulmate full time problem" is a perfect line dudes

[chubbyminibots-blog]

I'm in Gem AU hell and I'm never climbing out.

[istillshipcake-killmeplease]

okay so, for anyone who didnt see/hear

my 10 year old dog, blitz, died this friday in the early afternoon of...well, we're not entirely sure.

apparently, she just was walking around all happy and what not, and she fell over and starting having convulsions/seizures right then and there. my parents rushed her to the vet, but they couldn't save her.

i dont wanna write anymore, because ill probably start crying.

but saturday morning, we got a new puppy. She's a ten week old catahoula leopard dog/chocolate lab mix..(and we think she might be part pitbull, too, but we're not sure)

Her name is Koda :D

i think im gonna post a picture of her in a few minutes, so stay tuned :D