#rip clint

[blackswandancing]

the twenty-something guy sitting in the row in front of me at Black Widow, at the end credits scene: *under his breath* Barton's toast

[im-tops-bottom]

Tony: I am a firm believer in make love not war

Natasha: oh so is that why you slept with Bucky instead of arguing about the whole Siberia situation

Steve: *spits out his coffee* he did what!?!

Tony: *clears his throat as he drinks his coffee, eyes looking everywhere but at the people sitting at the table*

Bucky: *walking in shirtless* oh don't you worry, we had our argument

Clint: *exhausted* oh trust me they did

Natasha: *raises a brow at Clint* what happened to you?

Tony: *chokes on his coffee* oh god were you sleeping in the vents again?

Clint: yes and to answer your question Nat. I look like shit because I only got 10 minutes of sleep and then the two boneheads decided to argue in Tony's damn bedroom. I was exhausted from the mission and my room was too far from where I was. Once they stopped fighting I thought yay I can get some descent sleep but did i Tony and Bucky? Did i get some sleep? *Staring at Tony and Bucky*

Tony: *looks down blushing*

Bucky: *smirks as he bites into an apple before grinning* absolutely not

Clint: absofuckenlutely not, he says. He doesn't give a shit. I swear if I have to hear Tony moan out one more time, give it to me harder daddy, make me your bitch....I will burn this god damn tower down.

Natasha: okay come on Clint, I'll lay down in my room and we can order in whatever you want. I'll call Coulson to not bring us in for anything today so you can sleep

Clint: thank you but why are you doing this?

Natasha: because I wanna hear all about Tony amd Bucky's sexcapade....so tony has a daddy kink huh?

Clint; *groans* I hate you

Steve: *who hasn't stopped staring at Tony since Natasha dropped that bomb shell*

Bucky: *who noticed it* uh oh Tony. I think that broke Stevie

Tony; *whimpers* fuck my life

Bucky; *picks up Tony* come on doll, now that Clint isn't there, we can order coffee and food. Sleep the night away

Tony: *groans*

-1 hr later-

Steve: and now I don't know what to do because it's Bucky. I have never told him he couldn't have something he wanted. Is it wrong for me to want to tell my best friend he can't have my ex best friend because i am in love with ex best friend?

Bruce: *rubs his face and groans* I will tell you what I told Tony a long time ago

Steve: and what's that?

Bruce: *looking frustrated* I'm not that kind of doctor

[agdistis-sanctified]

Avengers: No Road Home #6

[im-tops-bottom]

Loki: fine in order for me to stop attacking earth then I require one thing

Steve: whatever you want we will give it to you

Loki: Tony-

Steve: except for that. Definitely not that. *Grabs a hold of Tony and brings him in whilst holding his shield and eyeing everyone out* no! He is not taking him! Loki is not taking away my emotional support animal

Tony: *whines* for the last time I am not a-

Steve: shhh quiet kitten *drops the shield and picks up a butter knife pointing it at Loki* fight me bitch!

Loki: *eyes widen at Steve* -'s dad's flying car he promised he was going to make

Steve: oh *drops the knife and let's go of Tony* well then. This is awkward

Clint: *snorts* I can't imagine Tony being a emotional support anything. The big baby clearly needs an emotional support animal himself. *Clicks his fingers* I can be it

Steve: *reaches for Tony while glaring at Clint*

Clint: *holds his hands up in surrender* okay nevermind then

Tony: *clears his throat* anyway.... Green lantern you are gonna need to take it up with Coulson

Loki: the man I killed?

Tony: yup

Loki: damn

Tony: anything else you want?

Loki: no. I'll trust bring the human back and get him to give me the car after you give me that drink you promised

Tony: *shrugs* sure why not

Steve: *whines* but Tooonnny

[in-libris-libertas]

Clint McElroy’s characters really do be having the hardest times.

Balance: gets arm chopped off, his god forsakes him

Amnesty: dies in a shooting

Graduation: possessed by demon that wrecked his psyche and tried to make him kill his friends

Ethersea: nearly beefs it on day one

[purgatorical]

That awkward moment when you activate clint's three heart event but you're already married to Emily

[gargleteeth]

@blndspxt im crying laughing bc i literally read everything clint says sexually now and it’s entirely your fault. 

[captainofthenx02]

I'm so sorry about your friend! :(

Thanks Cat. I’m really devastated still. It’s been 24 hours since I found out and I’ve spent most of those 24 hours crying. It’s so weird.