when it’s her turn, she walks calmly to the room. this was the easy part. all she needed to do was sit in a chair, act pretty, and share her opinions. none of those things were hard for nakyung to do. they re-touch her makeup and she’s thankful for it, saying so when the artist leaves her. the interviewer tells it’s about to start and she nods in understanding. her lips smoothly transition into a smile.
“ how did you feel when you received the news of the callback? “
“oh…” she starts. her hands automatically appear into the frame, holding each other as if the girl had just come out of a fairytale. that was what princesses did, wasn’t it? “i was really scared i wasn’t going to make it. i showed an image i think people wouldn’t quite associate with me, and it worked out! it gave me the confidence to show what i did today. it was tough to choose something, and i really wanted to do ‘genie’ by chichi, but i thought this performance would be more interesting for the phase we’re in.”
“ how do you think you did? “
“i think i did well!” nakyung says with confidence but her voice is chipper, trying not to fall too much into her cocky side at the first given chance. “i wasn’t too sure if singing while dancing would be the best option for me, but it worked out in the end! i think… if i had only danced to the song, it wouldn’t have been the same. i wanted to show my charms but also that i’m not here only for that. i really want to be an idol in the future, so i’d like to convince the judges that i’d be able to take that role if they take me on this ride.”
“ what did you think when the judges were revealed? “
“my first thought…” she looks off, thinking back to what felt like were ages ago but was still vivid in her memories. the girl isn’t sure if she’ll ever be able to forget this day in her life. “the first thought i had was ‘wow, they’re so pretty’.” she chuckles. “people say everyone looks better in real life but it’s a bit unfair just how good looking they all are… especially katie lee. i really want to be like her one day. she’s my role model.”
“ were there any performances you liked? “
“yes, of course!” her mind starts working, trying to separate each of the 99 other performances into their own thing instead of one big ball of confusion. so many sang, so many danced, so many rapped… there was a list of instruments used, too, but that didn’t automatically mean they all did well. “i think it’s important to be creative in shows like these. if you’re going to cover a song you must do better than only a simple cover or else the audience may just overlook you.”
she talks as if she is experienced in the area, and she is but as a spectator. nakyung was a grade a fan, and she knew exactly what other people like her would be looking for. “there was na jaemin who covered a song by brave girls. he used a remixed version which was very interesting to watch. it’s a very popular song that people covered many times before, so the fact he changed it in such a cool way really made him stand out to me.”
“there was eunji, too, who performed ‘woman’ by boa. even if she did just that, it is a very powerful song, and when she was just walking at the start of the song it was very enchanting and she has the talent to back it up, too.” nakyung nods, trying to think of any other performance she enjoyed. “there was also a foreign person, kokoro, who decided to perform ‘into the new world’. whoever likes chichi is someone i should like, and the fact she chose this song out of all the others really made it interesting. she really fits the image, too, i believe.”
getting out of the cover zone, nakyung tries to think of any other thing that caught her eyes. “that other kid, too, naruto? i feel like everybody is going to mention him, but his performance was very interesting. i had never seen anything like that before and i was very impressed. i just wonder if he has any other skills than that. if he passes this round, he won’t be able to survive only on skating all the time.”
“apart from him, there was another boy that was very adorable. i think his name was seungmin? he said he’d like to show a fiery side of him just like his red hair or something like that. his song was very calm, though, but it was a very nice mashup. maybe he should dye his hair blue next time, or another color like that.”
“ were there any performances you didn’t like? “
“well, i think there were performances no one really liked who missed a step or forgot their lyrics.” nakyung shrugs, not wanting to give them any attention. “not that i necessarily dislike their performance, but i really don’t understand what all these previous contestants are doing here. i honestly don’t think i can even name them all… there’s daniel, moonbok, joohyun… and isn’t this her third time already? i think… there are other people out there who could be using this opportunity, you know? they are probably here only for rating and it’s kind of sad to see, really. and if one of them win, wouldn’t that be bad? i think this should be banned for future seasons. if the companies would like to sign them i’m sure they know where to find them.”
“ that will be all for today. you can return to your seat. “
“thank you!” she bows to the interviewer and other staff present before leaving the room.
ever since he realized his crush for seungmin, everything reminds jeongin of him. he sees the boy everywhere, thinks of him almost every second of every day. not harassing him through hundreds of text messages proves to be very difficult, and he exercises the most amount of self-control he ever has before so he won’t look completely obsessed. it’s not really what one would call an unhealthy obsession... but it’s jeongin’s first love, and he doesn’t know how to go about it. he doesn’t think he will ever be able to confess. liking boys is not exactly welcomed or accepted even in today’s society. and since he has yet to hear about anyone liking both girls and boys, jeongin doesn’t even view it as a possibility. he must be gay, since he likes seungmin right now.
he does try to get closer to him, hang out more often, maybe see if the feeling could ever be mutual. seungmin... makes him feel special in the best kind of way. he’s always so sweet to him, he listens to him and jeongin never feels like he treats him like a baby. they’re both equals, despite seungmin being older. he invites him along to walk his dog that day, thinking they could get some well-needed sunshine, maybe grab an ice cream along the way and stop by markets. it’s the perfect date, right? except it’s only a date in his head. small detail. “hey, do you want to hold her leash?” he asks, extending it to seungmin. detective caramel is very well behaved, and has recently been having more trouble running; he shouldn’t have any problem walking her. “she likes you, i think!” not as much as jeongin, that’s for sure.
✧ ✧ ✧ ━━━━━━━ & MGA SEASON 5 CALLBACKS ,
INTERVIEW —
he’d come into this competition not knowing what to expect. he hadn’t watched any of the previous seasons, and while he knew it was a talent competition, he didn’t know much else about it. the singing and the dancing was a given, and even the appearance of the ceos seemed expected given the fact that the fate of their companies depended on the trainees they choose to groom for the future, but it never even crossed his mind that they’d care so much about the thoughts of the contestants on the show. based on how much time the auditions alone would take up, even if they chose a select few, he figured there’d be enough to fill up even several episodes if they liked; he didn’t think they’d need footage like this to fill up time.
but, hey, what does he know about show business?
it seems like such a long time until they call his name since all the performances are done now and he has little else to do to take up his time other than talk to his cousin and try to talk to his brother, so by the time he’s called up, he’s surprisingly pretty pumped about it.
he enters the room and settles into the seat, shaking his bottom just a bit to get that feel of having been sat in it for hours. he rests his hands on the armrest and allows his lips to bloom into a full blown grin, ready for whatever questions they throw at him.
how did you feel when you received the news of the callback?
“i was like, i knew it!” he lies through his teeth, laughter following soon after, betraying that false sense of confidence. “actually, i was pretty surprised. there were so many people at the auditions that i wasn’t sure i would stand out among so many of them, so thanks for giving me the chance to show more of what i have! hopefully i’ve shown enough to make you want to see even more. we’ve only scratched the surface, baby!”
what did you think when the judges were revealed?
he leans back in his seat, his lups forming into a circle as he blows air out of his mouth, his head shaking. sure, it hadn’t really been a surprise to see them there, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make an impact. he immediately felt small in front of them, like a mere mortal before gods. “they felt fucking powerful,” he says, uttering the first words that crosses his mind, belatedly realizing he probably shouldn’t be cursing on television. his hand immediately jumps off to cover his mouth, eyes wide in shock at himself.
“i mean...f--cking powerful,” he repeats, this time censoring himself. “kind of like an ‘i am not worthy’ moment, ya feel me?”
how do you think you did?
his lips purse, expression turning pensive. he’s silent for a few moments as he mentally goes through his performance again. sure, there had been some mistakes---a shaky start due to nerves, a lack of technique toward the end---but overall, he thinks he did pretty well. “you know what? i did decent.”
kim seungmin is your brother, right? how do you think he did?
his expression immediately lights up the second his brother’s name is mentioned. he sits up straighter in his seat, at rapt and full attention, grin so wide his teeth are bared for all to see. “yes he is!” he replies enthusiastically, a proud glow emanating off of him. “he did amazing! perfect! great! i mean, you watched it, right? you saw it. he did really well.” yeah, okay, he might be slightly biased, but that’s to be expected. “isn’t he so cute?”
besides your brother’s, are there any other performances that stood out to you?
“kim hyojin!” he’s quick to answer with a smile. of course, he can’t forget to mention his cousin and roommate. “he was really good, right?” he pauses to try and remember other performances who aren’t his family, ones that stood out among the literal hundred others he’s seen. “oh, that one girl who danced to partition...i can’t remember her name, but it was different than the usual choreography that you see for that song, you know what i mean? and her dancing was phenomenal. uh, and that one guy who did that trot rendition of that one boy group song. had a lot of fun with that one.”
he pauses again, trying to remember even more because he wants to give credit where credit is due. “that one rapper, i think his name was yeosang or something like that. that song he chose was really good, and man, his rapping was smooth af.” his lips purse in order not to burst into laughter as he recalls another performance, one that stands out for...other reasons. yes, he’d said he was okay, but he didn’t want to appear mean-spirited for bursting out into laughter. “that one kid who roller skated was really interesting. he looked really cool.” until he fell off the stage....but he probably shouldn’t say that out loud. instead, he gives a thumbs up at the camera accompanied by a grin as a show of support and solidarity for the boy.
“oh, oh!!” he says, pepping up as he remembers one contestant in particular. “choi minho is also really cool! he’s got like....” he pauses, forgetting how to say what he wants to say for a moment in both his learned languages. “star quality.” before he can stop himself, his rambling continues, “and he’s got these man tiddiez...can’t take your eyes off of ‘em!”
yeah, probably should have left that one in his head, too.
any final thoughts?
still trying to recover from his slip-up, he chuckles in embarrassment, trying to regain composure. “i’m just really thankful for this opportunity,” he says finally, genuine and sincere. “i’ve already learned a few things about myself, and i’m hoping i can continue on this journey so i can learn even more.”
MGA 5 EPISODE 2: day6′s when you love someone ( 0:04 - 0:58 ; 2:50 - 3:43 )
a jigsaw puzzle. the whole show seemed like a jigsaw puzzle, with how diverse the backgrounds of the names that were called proved themselves to be; singer after singer, dancers mixed in with the occasional rapper were named, and by the time they reached ‘k,’ hyojin’s heart had already dropped to the bottom of his stomach. the chances of his own name being called decreased with every new singer that was announced, and by the time he heard his own being called as the first kim, he almost couldn’t fathom it.
he thinks it might be missing a piece, though, when he doesn’t hear a certain name being called, and his head whips around to look at the boy sitting on jooyoung’s other side, trying to read his expression. looking away quickly afterwards to not make the younger male feel self conscious, hyojin starts to feel a deep setting unease manifest in his insides as they move onto the lees, trying his best to congratulate seunghun and even seoyeon, appearing attentive as the rest of the contestants were named. with that, the new challenge was announced, and the filming ended.
hyojin gets lost in the crowd before he can even call out to seungmin.
the car ride back is quiet and unsettling; seungmin doesn’t say a word and only stays stock still, gloomy. hyojin can’t bring himself to say anything, only watching jooyoung curiously. the two of them always seemed like they were eons apart, but this time, the gap felt strangely even wider than that, as if now jooyoung was struck by it, too, and instead of closing the space between them, only got more far away.
holding back a sigh, he simply remains that way until seungmin is dropped off at his apartment, not quite knowing both what to say and when to say it. if there was an opportunity to do so, he had missed it.
❀ AFTERMATH;
hyojin desperately needs a breath of air. it’s the technology age, after all, and if he stares blankly at seungmin’s response to him for any longer, he might go insane. scrolling through youtube isn’t any better — it feels like he’s just sinking down into a thick, opaque swamp without any end or resolution in sight, and even when he tries to sing some of a song, it just falls flat on his ears.
( even without knowing, he had grown fond of the feeling of the microphone in his hand, the smooth handle still faintly there if he tries hard enough to recall it. )
leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling, hyojin sighs heavily and shuts his eyes tightly to try to get the spotlight that would hide behind his eyelids every time he blinked to fade away and disappear from his mind. he feels guilty for what seemed to him like greed for the stage, a growing desire to make it as far as possible and push himself past his limits if it meant that he could have all eyes on him once again, singing his heart out. he shouldn’t be feeling this way when seungmin undoubtedly felt the same, when he may not actually deserve the opportunity that’s been granted to him.
he’s sorry — really, truly sorry to the boy whom he had considered to be a younger brother for quite some time now; as someone who frequently heard out his younger cousin’s worries and talked him through them, hyojin had developed somewhat of a sixth sense that could tell what the boy had been thinking. he thinks he’d be mad at himself, too.
( although, now that he thought about it, he’d be even more angry at himself for letting something like this to go to waste. )
pushing his seat back, he opens his phone again, this time not to mull, but to make some plans.
❀
fresh air. just like any other kind of air in any given place, it served the same purpose, but he was taking it in almost greedily, like it was the one thing he so desperately needed but had been deprived of for quite some time. he can still remember the first time he stood here like it was yesterday, the air cool and echoing the beginnings of spring, back when his thoughts were more simple and straightforward. it’s surprising how easily the desire to perform can become suffocating.
the thought passes by that perhaps he should be spending his time practicing a piece instead of out here busking with his friends as if there was no time constraint weighing in on him that could either make or break his future, only to be muffled by the slowly growing realization that if he didn’t do this, there would be no other way for him to just carry on practicing in yesterday’s state. even with the idea of a song to perform in mind, there’s no way he can do anything about it until he relieves this stress.
perhaps that’s why he finds himself taking a leap of faith and asking the crowd for a volunteer to perform a song, leading to an unlikely run in with kang daniel. it’s already shocking enough to find out the male’s been a part of a well known band with sungwoon this whole time, but the uncanniness of it all brings a strange comfort to him, and by the time it was over, hyojin feels like a part of him has been restored.
slipping his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, he looks at it to see a message from sakura, and smiles.
❀ PREPARATIONS;
hyojin sings for a lot of reasons, some more bittersweet than others. the one time he’s cried while singing was when he first moved to seoul. it’s embarrassing to admit such a thing when he’s already all grown up and had spent the last 8 years of his life strengthening his conviction to move out and make it big so that his mom can finally, finally be comfortable for once.
the separation was hard for her, too — how could you blame her when her only son, her pride and joy and anchor, was going to be far from her reach for an indefinite period of time? it’s both heartwrenching and sweet, but he promises to call her every day until he’s fully settled with jooyoung. one night, she asks him if he can sing to her over the phone like he used to, back when he was younger. he tries his best to comply, but it’s hard not to stop the tears.
it’s been three years now, and no matter how much he thinks of home when he sings a song, he tells himself not to cry, as if she could still hear and see him, much older and with eyes that have seen both too much and too little of the world, matured but still eager to live life. he hopes she still doesn’t work those late shifts, even though she tells him she stopped as soon as the debts had been paid off.
when she calls him, he’s in the middle of singing when you love someone. her voice is soft and gentle as always, still tired but more lively than it used to be, congratulating him and putting to sleep all the inner demons that had been pricking away at him that he was betraying her by trying out for mgas.
he doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tries fruitlessly to continue singing after she asks him to sing a little bit of what he plans on performing for her, saying that she’s missed his voice. even without saying, he knows she knows why he chose this song.
slowly, note by note, it feels like a burden is being lifted off his shoulders.
❀ IN THE STUDIO;
take two. he’s sitting in the audience on a familiar chair, this time sandwiched between seunghun and jooyoung. instead of feeling like jelly, he feels eerily calm, as if accepting that whatever would happen that day had already been set in stone as his fate.
fail or pass, he’d be able to get across his message at the very least. he hopes his mom will be able to hear him. he even chats with seunghun for a little bit, playing around and being a lot more relaxed than he had been the week before. just knowing that he could look around and meet the eyes of someone familiar is comforting, and although he doesn’t sit close to her, he knows sakura is somewhere there, too, cheering him on.
this set of performances is as entertaining as last week’s, if not more; all of the singers are incredibly talented, and he takes special note of heejin’s performance, her voice sweet and smooth as it recreates the moody be myself, as well as seoyeon as she sang an emotional english song, swaying along to the rhythm. he cheers for jooyoung too, of course, as well as seunghun, pressing a hand to his chest at the younger male’s rendition of crush’s sofa, clearly pleased at the song choice. they had a similar song preference, after all; before he knows it, a sound of awe escapes his mouth at his friend’s cover, his brows furrowed as he feels the sheer emotion.
❀ ON THE STAGE;
his heart had started to pick up and beat viciously against his ears when he finally hears his name called, this time making good use of his strength to grab his keyboard and bring it onto the stage, setting it up quickly within a few movements. it’s a little funny, considering how thin he looked -- he was actually relatively strong despite never being the athletic type. having to lug things around on a weekly basis really did much for the body.
hyojin’s heart is still pounding when he hears so jisub call his name, this time with a number attached to it -- he was a part of this competition for real now, registered in their system as a contestant and someone who now was given the right to be eliminated for good or allowed to move on if he was skilled enough. even then, he breaths with even breaths -- seungmin didn’t get eliminated for him to get cold feet and to mess this up. he didn’t promise his mom he’d try his best just to be bested by nerves.
taking the microphone in hand, he bows deeply. “hello again, i’m kim hyojin with a healing voice.” he smiles a little at this comment, clearly trying to hold back a slight laugh, before continuing, “today, i’ll confidently perform a song standing up.” -- there’s a little smile at the corner of katie lee’s lips at that, a reminder of how he had been too nervous to stay upright the previous week and had requested a chair -- “i hope you enjoy and find comfort in this song, like i do.”
with that, he steps back behind the keyboard and starts to play.
오늘 많이 힘들었던 하루였죠
it was a really hard day today
그댈 보는 내 가슴이 아리네요
my heart aches for you
지친 그대를 위해 해줄 수 있는 건 오로지
the only thing i can do for you
곁에 있어주는 것 밖에 못해 미안해요
is to be next to you, i’m sorry
starting off with a low, mellow voice, he follows the melody set by the notes of the piano, singing softly and soothingly into the microphone. in actuality, he’s here, singing the song to a crowd of fifty people and five judges, but in his mind, he’s far, far away.
it’s almost heartbreaking how sincere hyojin sounds as he sings, because he thinks back to how he had felt during his high school days, that bone deep realization that he wasn’t quite yet at the point where he could help the one person he loved and cared for most despite desperately wanting to. in his head, he wonders if that’s common, and wonders if everyone else in the audience felt the same way, too -- that profound exhaustion of everyday life, the feeling that things weren’t just going your way even when it was hard enough waking yourself up in the morning.
like a lullaby, he sings the last line carefully, looking directly at the judges. in that instant, they seemed terribly human, as if underneath those steel expressions, they were people, too. people who experienced bad days, who struggled to get where they were now. who still struggle now.
그댄 웃는 게 정말 예쁜 사람이라서
you’re so pretty when you smile
그 미소를 잃었을 때마다
so every time you lose that smile
내 전부를 다 줘서라도
even if i have to give my all
다시 또 되돌려주고 싶어요
i want to give it back to you
picking up the pace and segueing into a higher range of notes, he starts to insert more emotion, as if reaching out towards whoever could hear him, hitting the notes smoothly and with a feeling as if he had torn the words straight from his heart, following along the song.
taking a gentle breath, he ends the verse and blends into the bridge.
this is a song for you
oh i’m singing for you
this is a song for you
i’m singing for you
내 모든걸 다 줄게
i’ll give you my everything
there’s no backtrack like in the original song to cause any layering effect -- instead of sounding empty, however, it just sounds more intimate and raw, like he was giving a personal message instead of trying to compete and boast, like he was better than everyone else in his category. even if he wasn’t the best or most experienced singer, he knew at least one thing: how to tell his story through emotions -- how to channel how he feels through the melodies that flow out of his mouth.
reaching the high note, he continues and sings, holding his voice on ‘everything,’ reaching the peak of the song. with that, he pauses for a little bit to let it sink in, before resuming playing, this time softer, more solemnly than in the original song.
대신 울어주고 싶고
i want to cry for you
내가 대신 아파해주고 싶어요
i want to hurt instead of you
다신 그대의 마음에
i don’t want any scars in your heart
상처가 나지 않았으면 해요
ever again
he closes his eyes as he sings, pouring out all his feelings and pain into the lines, earnest in how he delivers the song, as if he had written it.
누군가를 넘치게
when you love someone
좋아한다는 건
so much that it overflows
참 신기하게도
it’s so amazing
그렇더라고요
because this is how it is
much like the original, the first line starts out drawn out at the high note, feeling his heart start to burst at the seams and ache, overflowing with a mix of emotions that he can’t quite qualify, he hears his voice start to get a little thick at the end, his eyes growing a little blurry as he finished.
getting up and bowing, he wipes away a little at the corners of his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up a little bit as he bows again and thanks the ceos for judging, then the audience. turning around to hide his face from any cameras, he quickly tries to pack up his keyboard and exit the stage. before the embarrassment is simply just a sense of loss, like he felt something and felt it so strongly that he didn’t know what else to say. he’s too choked up to say much else once he takes his spot next to seunghun and jooyoung, sniffling briefly to try and stop the tears as the next name was called.
this might be his last stage, but he hopes that his voice would at least reach the hearts of people watching. that was all that mattered now.
yang.ji02 happy birthday to @simonsays22 ( @rkseungmin ), the best hyung! the world would be missing out if it didn’t have you in it! we need to hang out again soon~
there he goes again, back in a small room where someone will ask him questions about how his day went. he feels a lot better than the first time, knowing what to expect and how to respond comfortably. jeongin isn’t awkward at all when he sits down and faces them, all the previous pressure weighing down on him during his performance relieved as soon as it was over. nothing can really go wrong now, if they didn’t like him they’ll eliminate him and if the opposite happened, they’ll keep him. an interview won’t change any of that unless he starts being offensive.
How did you feel when you received the news of the callback?
he thinks back to the moment he totally freaked out upon hearing the results. part of him is naive and hopeful, but the other also lacks confidence and so he never quite knows if his gut feeling is right or not. he doesn’t trust himself to know for sure if his performance went well or not. “i felt really happy! a little surprised maybe, it’s rare that i win anything! i’m not saying i’ll be the winner of this season, of course!” he waves his hands in front of him frantically, showing off his braces as he laughs. “but it feels nice to be chosen right? it means they didn’t think i was terrible!”
How was it seeing the set for the first time, and the judges once they were reveal?
“the set is huge! i’ve never stood on anything like this. it’s way bigger than school festivals, with all the lights, the seats, and everyone watching... if i’m being honest, it was really intimidating especially the way the judges stare at you... are they supposed to look scary?” he tilts his head cutely. “i was really hoping there would be coaches like in one of the previous seasons... maybe they could have k.arma coach us! i would really love that.”
How do you think you did?
he nods his head with confidence this time. “a lot better than last time! i was just as nervous in the beginning, but having friends here looking out for me really calmed me down. i was alone the first time so it was harder. i mean, i can’t speak for the judges but i feel like i was more stable! and i really put more thought into my outfit!”
Were there any performances you liked?
“all of them?” jeongin declares, and it’s obviously not a lie. it’s not his place to judge others since he’s still lacking, and he’s very easily pleased and impressed. some are more skilled than others, but they all tried their best and that’s what matters. “is it biased if i say my cousin yeji did really well? i hope she moves on to the next round, i’d be happy even if only she does and not me! but the best scenario would be the both of us of course,” he says with a small laugh. “jisungie hyung, chris hyung and changbinnie hyung all rapped, they’re really impressive aren’t they? i could never do that, i don’t have swag.” he pronounces the word with a very strong accent. he could really study english more. “woojin hyung sang really good too, i love his voice, and the song suits him perfectly. and didn’t shin yuna’s song choice make you laugh? the dance and remix were cool though! i liked the girl who sang fly, the girl who danced to kara’s mamma mia - i love kara! - and also kokoro noona who performed a chi chi song! good for her, she has good taste!
Were there any performances you didn’t like?
“not really, no...” he pauses in case he can think of one, but none comes to mind so he just shrugs. “sorry!”
What did you think of kim seungmin’s performance?
he looks around nervously. what kind of magic is this? have they already figured him out? or maybe they just saw them talk before and after the performances, and figured they knew each other well. this seems like the more plausible option, not the conspiration jeongin envisions. “hyung is really talented, his voice gives me goosebumps... he’s a much better singer than me so i’m sure he will move on to the next round, i will root for him until the end~.”
and lastly, they ask him if there is anyone he thinks will definitely make it or not make it on the show, and he already answered part of it by saying seungmin, so he simply repeats that, and says he thinks everyone deserves to go on.
✧ ✧ ✧ ━━━━━━━ & IF YOU SAID THIS LIFE AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH,
I WOULD GIVE MY W O R L D TO LIFT YOU UP ---
HAVANA x SMOOTH by CAMILA CABELLO x SANTANA feat. ROB THOMAS
he thinks nothing of it when he receives a notification on his phone about a new email. he often gets newsletters from companies and organizations he doesn’t even remember signing up for, and lots of other mail he doesn’t really deem urgent, so he allows the notification to sit untouched for hours until he completes his shift at the hospital and is able to return home. it’s only when he’s splayed out on his back on his bed, phone held up in the air that he’s able to read the email he’s received from mnet staff.
needless to say, he nearly drops his phone on his face.
jooyoung is someone who is fairly confident in his skills---he wouldn’t be able to perform in hongdae so often if he weren’t---but even he’d had his doubts about getting any sort of call back from mnet about continuing on in the competition. he hadn’t been able to see anyone else’s performances, but judging but the sheer amount of people alone (and at only one of the venues, no less!), he could only estimate how many even more talented people were there that could nudge him out of the running. it’s a pleasant surprise, but one that sends him into a mild panic as he immediately sits up, trying to figure out what to perform this time around.
he spends every free moment he has leading up to the callbacks practicing, and he swears his callouses have grown callouses from all the time he spends on his electric guitar, arranging and rearranging the mashup so that it’s smooth and cohesive, disallowing any sort of break in the rhythm that could take anyone watching out of and away from his performance. he wants them to be drawn in and focused on him the entire time.
on the day of the actual callbacks, he arrives at the venue with hyojin, whom he’s more than excited for having received a callback as well. his body is filled with nervous energy, but it’s thrilling, exciting. there are significantly less other mga hopefuls this time around, but it does little to calm him knowing that this is truly the cream of the crop, hand-picked and ready to be handed over to the harsh opinions of both the public and the judges who sit at the panel, watching and observing their every triumph and every mistake.
he scans the crowd---his competition---looking for a place to sit among them. he almost settles on taking a seat in a relatively empty area, giving ample space around both him and hyojin, but then he spots a familiar face---too familiar---and nearly loses his shit. he probably should have realized sooner when seungmin had said he was going for an audition that it would be for the mgas as well, but it genuinely never crossed his mind until now. needless to say, he’s ecstatic, and he grabs his cousin’s hand and heads in the direction of the youngest of the kim brothers, footsteps as quiet as a mouse, grin as wide as the endless horizon.
he plops down next to seungmin while his little brother isn’t looking, blurting out the first thing he can think of. “man, i’m nervous. how about you?”
he’d expected seungmin to be surprised because he hadn’t really told anyone but hyojin that he was even trying out, but the fact that his own brother didn’t even seem to know that he was pursuing music was like a punch in the gut, and it only highlighted the problem they’ve had, one that he’s been trying to hide for years, bringing it to the forefront to slap him in the face.
“why didn’t you tell me you were auditioning?” seungmin asks him, his voice turning cold, just like jooyoung has become used to, “never mind, it’s not like you tell me anything anyway.
“you didn’t tell me either...” he says, his voice quiet, because technically seungmin did tell him, even if he didn’t specify what the audition was for. the silence that comes next is filled with an awkwardness that’s almost suffocating, and he looks to hyojin with a wry smile on his lips and a shrug of his shoulders. the way things turned out is nothing new, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult to deal with.
that, of course, doesn’t stop him from showing his support for the youngest kim sibling when he goes up to perform, invigorated by the good luck wishes he’d received, although they had been begrudgingly given. he hoops and hollers as loud as he can---just as any good older brother should---probably making himself look like a god damned ass, but it’s all in the name of love and support. he can tell he’s embarrassing seungmin, but he looks happy, and it’s all jooyoung’s ever wanted for him, even if it’s such a stark contrast from how seungmin looks whenever he’s with him.
he, of course, makes a fool of himself while cheering loudly for hyojin, too, even if it’s just a fraction of a bit less.
by the time his own name is called, he’s already forgotten that he’s there to compete as well, so caught up in watching other people’s performances that he feels like he’s merely there as an audience member rather than a fellow contestant. he practically jumps up once the realization hits, making his way to the stage with long, quick strides.
“hey man, i’m jooyoung,” he says once he’s in front of the judges, hand raising up casually, reminiscent of korg from thor: ragnarok, trying his best and failing at a new zealand accent. he doesn’t know why it’s the first thing that pops up in his mind while he’s scrambling to come up with a memorable introduction when it’s probably going to go over the ceo’s heads anyway but what’s done is done.
in an effort to try and salvage a first impression, he immediately bows deeply, bending at the waist a full ninety degrees before coming back up. “i’m kim jooyoung and i....” he drags the pads of the fingers of his right hand along his jawline slowly and seductively before using that same hand to reach out toward the camera as if asking for its nonexistant hand, “want to take you on this musical journey.
embarrassment causes him to fold over and into himself, clutching his stomach in hopes of keeping his breakfast down. he whoops loudly once and jumps up and down, shaking his limbs and trying to get his excess energy out. “anyway, i hope you’ll enjoy my performance,” he says with a grin, grabbing a hold of his electric guitar, immediately finding comfort the second his fingers wrap around its neck.
he stands now before a mic stand, inhales deeply, exhales slowly, and begins to play.
oooh i knew it when i met her
i loved her when i left her
got me feelin' like oooh-oooh-ooh
and then i had to tell her i had to go na na na na
the first half of the mashup should be immediately recognizable since it’s a song that has enjoyed immense popularity, even now almost two years after its initial release. his performance starts out slow and steady and sultry an emulation but not an imitation of the original artist’s performance, his own rendition, his own aura.
and if you said this life ain't good enough
i would give my world to lift you up
i could change my life to better suit your mood
because you're so smooth
the song switches mid-performance, transition as effortless as the title of the song. his fingers still strum with the first song’s rhythm, but the lyrical melody is different from the second song but equally sensual. though the songs are from two different artists, it’s as if he’s still singing about the same person, enticed by her charms and natural charisma. he tries his best to portray that sort of sexual tension without it overpowering the performance and making it cringe worthy. it’s a fine line, one that’s scarily easy to cross, but he thinks he manages to toe it well.
he holds his guitar close to his body, almost protectively, wholly intimately, almost as if it were the person he's singing about, yearning for. the way his fingers pick the strings is masterful but delicate, showing both a respect for his instrument but a deep-rooted love for it and the joy it provides. he hopes that everything put together provides for a charismatic and captivating performance.
and it's just like the ocean under the moon
oh, it's the same as the emotion that i get from you
you got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
the energy of the song gradually starts to rise during the bridge, allowing him to become a bit more explosive during the chorus, his voice much stronger, projecting further, invoking more emotion. his body begins to sway with the music, and his toe taps against the floor in time with the music as he allows himself to be fully immersed in the song and its melody and rhythm. he throws caution to the wind, abandoning a focus on technique in favor of allowing a more raw side to show, giving himself more freedom to show the emotion of the song.
give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it
he holds the last note of the song for a moment, allowing it to die out with the reverb of his guitar. once it does, his concentration dissolves into a proud smile, one he's been told can come off as smug, but that doesn't matter now. he's proud of what he's just done, so why shouldn't he be relieved and smug and proud of what he's just done?
with another deep bow, he makes his way down and back to his seat, settling into it once more to watch the rest of the performances. no longer burdened with worrying about his turn and how he'd do, he finds himself even more engrossed by all the other performers, focused fully on each one and appreciating this moment he's been given.
he's never done anything like this before, never thought he'd ever do anything like this, but he's glad he did, because now, though he doesn't know what to expect for the future, he has more to look forward to.
trying to make himself comfortable in the seat he was led to by the staff member, hyojin straightens his shirt while trying not too look too awkward or off. he had a feeling that they were going to do something like this the moment he took note of a staff member pulling a contestant aside, his initial thought of them being in trouble being replaced by something like an interview when the staff member went down the line.
how did you feel when you received the news of the callback?
“i... hm... i guess i was a little shocked?” he says, before backtracking, “not that i think that i did poorly, but i was surprised that they accepted me. there were a lot of talented people today back during the pre-auditions, along with today, so i’m really honored to be here, regardless of the results.”
how do you think you did?
“i tried my best, so i’m hoping that i did well. it’s hard to tell when you’re the one performing, but i think i completed the stage safely without any mistakes.” hyojin says humbly, growing shy as he speaks about his own performance. in truth, he thinks that in comparison to a lot of the other vocal acts, he didn’t seem to have as much technique, and was more based around raw emotion and feeling.
were there any performances you liked?
“i liked all of them, really.” his eyesmile shows at this, and he adds, “well, seungminnie did well -- his voice is seriously sweet like honey -- and so did sakura, she sings well, too. there’s also seunghun, with his lovely vocals and moving song choice. ah, for non-singing performances, i really liked haruto’s. he’s adorable, right? i didn’t know he could skate like that, but it was certainly cool. i hope he’s okay from that fall, though.” hyojin chuckles at the remembrance of the poor boy’s mess up, before it hits him.
“there was also this contestant... minkyung-ssi, i think? her voice surprised me with how good it was. i haven’t heard of the song before, but she performed it well.”
it says here that you are cousins with KIM JOOYOUNG. what did you think of his performance?
“oh, jooyoung hyung!” smiling at the mention of his roommate’s name, half disappointed in himself for forgetting to mention him at first, hyojin nods. “he did very well! i think playing guitar runs in the kim family, haha -- but in all seriousness, his english and his singing is really good. i’m envious.”
is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?
“hm... i think... sungwoonie hyung. his singing is really good, and he also was on last season, where he made it pretty far. i think he has the experience and the charisma to make it to the next phase.”
is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?
“ah, eliminations, right. i don’t know how the judges will pick, to be honest,” hyojin says, laughing awkwardly, “but i know that regardless of who gets out, everyone tried their best.”
when the cameraman gives him a nod, hyojin stands up from his seat and bows to the staff, thanking them, before being escorted out. at this point, it felt like everything was already over, and when he gets back to his seat and smiles at jooyoung, hyojin wonders what the judges could possibly be thinking.
at this rate, it just seems like all he could do was cross his fingers and wait.
