the sun was burning down merciless, her fiery red was mixing with the dreamy blue of the cloudless sky. he didn't have to work today, in his hands two free cards to go carting he had got from one of his modeljobs. actually kang joon would have loved to play with one of his bros, but since there were only two tickets and quite hard to get his hands on this cards, he would have felt guilty for taken only one of his friends with him. he was sighing, while staring out of the window, enjoying the strong colours that spread through the sky. actually he had someone in mind to invite to go along with him. though he still hesitated, since he had said last time to wait for the right timing to ask Jimin out. the male glanced once again on the tickets, then took out his phone. when scrolling through his contact list, he easily found the other male's contact information. but before messaging him or calling him, he decided to visit him at his workplace. reaching the store on his motorbike pretty fast, the male put down the helmet and shoke his head shortly for his hair to regain their original form. with a smirk on his lips, he mischvieous entered the store. he wasn't too sure, if jimin behind the register had seen him, so he quietly took some candies he believed the other would like and then turned to Jimin to pay. slowly leaning forward he put down the sweets and next to them the tickets. "join me, i've got candies." while smiling he waited for a reaction and an answer to occurr. if he was lucky, this would be his second date with Jimin.
he counted the number of times people have went in the makeshift circle, pushing through bodies just to make it to the center and show off some moves. he’s there to let out some steam, with graduation just around the corner and real life awaiting him. thus far no particular dancer had stood out, and he still hadn’t seen someone he really wanted to go up against. hands remaining by his sides, the male scoffed as a new contender failed his footwork and went down like a brick. lame.
it was weird how people get together at the most random places to witness the most pointless things. a dance battle on the sidewalk with music blasting from an outdated stereo player, how more uncool can the place be to clueless eyes? but somehow, he’s able to find himself there, feeling like he’s meant to be there at that exact moment.
people cheered from around him and he occasionally clapped and smiled, getting lost in the excitement. he wasn’t ready to go though, no one seemed to be a fun enough challenge. still, he waited, deciding that if within the next two songs no one interesting has showed up, he’ll be sending out the invitation first.
Tiffany Hwang @misstiffxny i hope that all members of both team, past and present, help represent the symbol ‘k’ as an icon of korea whether it is now or someday in the future. be on the look out for them! they’ll all be on a stage again after the mgas! it doesn’t end here, i promise
—
[ tw✘tter ] u p d a t e — 2m ago
Tiffany Hwang @misstiffxny thank you to anyone and everyone who supports team tiffany or team taeyeon!
he yawned. today weren’t as many customers as usual. though it was always this lonely at noon. he and another waiter were slowly pushing the chairs to the right place, wiping tables clean and airing the cafe. though it was particually a day where he was supposed to play the piano that stood in the center of the cafe for entertainment, he sat down in front of it.
the hand slightly brushed over the keyboard. out of boredom he started to play, there weren’t any customers to be served, so it should be alright, he thought. sitting there, while his hands moved naturally, he had his eyes closed and listened to the flowing music. the melody was sweet yet a little sad and kang joon loved it. he loved the sound of the old piano, the rough surface and the scent of the old wood.
some of the customers turned around and watched him playing, they actually knew he was participating in the MGAs, yet it was pure luck for them to run into him at his workplace. though it was kinda scary how these girls were targeting him, locking their gazes at him playing piano.
💖 #teamtiffany : #3009 ( kwon yuri ), && #3020 ( jeon jiyoon )
press play! 잘 알지도 못하면서 ( you don’t even know ) 1:59 to 3:24 ✨
it’s said that those with nothing to lose have everything to give and that’s how tiffany views the upcoming performance. all or nothing, all in, heart, mind, body, and soul. every cliched phrase she could think of and more. but it had taken her a day to readjust, reevaluate, to accept and to change. to decide she’s tired of being passive, of acting as if merely doing their best is somehow good enough for mnet because it’s not and if it’s impact mnet is looking for, she’s willing to provide it. the flicker of annoyance in yuri’s eyes during the broadcast of the street performance with jaebum proves to her that she’s not the only one.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
their team is now a trio of women, burnt by the vicious flames of malicious, misguided editing and judgment that doesn’t seem right. not with the faith tiffany has in her team, in the way they perform. because their best had been enough to be selected for the mgas over a multitude of others in korea and yet it was as if they somehow fell below par now, as if minds had changed, fickleness that is more punishing as the competition continues.
it’s terrifying, and it’s what tiffany doesn’t want yuri or jiyoon to forget any time soon. she doesn’t want them to let go of that feeling. no, she wants them to use it the way mnet used footage of the team against them. the idea doesn’t come at first, especially with a hwang miyoung that not only faults herself but shuts herself off for the night, escapes mentally and physically. there’s no allowing herself to hide in the comfort of bobby’s embrace. she deserves it even less this time because they came in fourth. fourth and he should have been safe. jaebum should still be on their team.
as if it wasn’t enough to remind everyone of how it is a competition, of how they could be competing ultimately with each other ( and they are when it comes to eliminations, if it happens ), the show goes from mentally tearing everyone apart to actually doing so. even saying goodbye to jaebum, she can’t hold it together. hours later and she only worsens, skin pales in dull water, shrivels and wrinkles, subject to far too much water for far too long. bubbles no longer dance along the surface and what was once scalding hot is ice cold.
porcelain is more inviting than her warm bed, a bitter ocean of her own, tears that seem to drain her energy. the phone rings and she only answers hours later, a weary hello exchanged with her sister who is loud at all hours. advice given and barely heard let alone heeded— until her sister calls her out on the most prominent fact of the moment, being so self-loathing is not only pretentious but selfish. where is she when she ought to be with her team? licking her own wounds instead of healing herself and them. satisfying the demons in her mind rather than the angels on earth she’s come to meet, to lead, to care for as one of her own.
joke as she may that there’s no ‘i’ in team but there is one in tiffany, teasing words none of the members had meant, she will no longer allow the possibility for it to become reality exist.
—
vocal lessons, both her own during her morning training and ones throughout the afternoon and night. there’s no end to the practice, to the sheer effort placed into this performance. it’s on a whim that she asks her former boss at elysium if they could borrow the stage during the day, allow the girls to experience what it’s truly like to perform live, to function with an inner ear, to not let it overpower their own sound, their own voice. because that’s what their song is about, letting out their own voice.
there’s no place for silence any longer in this competition.
the frustration they have with competition, with the producers for editing the way they did in the last episode, with anyone stifling their dreams including jimin’s and jaebum’s, it’s about to be set free and she feels it whenever they sing. the first line gave her chills when they wrote it together and it gives her chills now as she holds her breath backstage. curled fingers, bated breath, an unstable core, an unyielding stare, and an inability to see anything past them. because mnet could do what they want this time around, she practically dares them to but this song, it’s theirs. this moment belongs to them and the truth belongs to the audience.
her first and most certainly her main concern is her team. because it’s unfathomable, for her to have encouraged them to strive so hard, to aim for retribution only for it to be stolen away with the announcement of no elimination. a farce, a lie, a pathetic joke, that’s what she wants to see it as because there’s no redemption in this. there’s no satisfaction that can be derived from toying with them so frivolously on a survival show, not on their part and for the audience that is likely as nerve-wracked as each team, she doubts it’s pleasing to them either save for the fact that their ‘faves’ are safe for another week. that’s the odd point of it all— everyone is safe, for now.
but she trusts nothing, especially when it’s mnet they’re dealing with. she had almost forgotten in the midst of it all, that mnet is nothing if not out for blood when it comes to fostering drama.
otherwise, why insist on the camaraderie of teams only to tear them apart with an embellished title?
m.v.p.
most valuable person they called it but tiffany’s always heard of it as most valuable player ( which, on another note, also reminds her of just how much this is all a game ), a phrase she understands well and yet they gave the coaches a different definition. one that likely isn’t going to be explained and she thinks it’s just so “beautifully” clever for such an act to be pulled but tiffany’s never been one to allow her own group to be so easily played with. she’s never allowed it to happen before and she refuses to let it happen now.
diminishing jiyoon’s accomplishments and progress is the last thing she wants to do but she wants them to understand one thing, “if i could, i would’ve chosen all of you. i’d rather you all get a chance to shine on stage than to perform myself.” because she so strongly believed her chance would come and this wasn’t it— tiffany feels as if she’s taking it from yuri and jaebum and it settles uneasily. a tenseness in her shoulders, a furrow of her brows, fingers that continue to curl on and off, and a heaviness to the corners of her lips that she can’t quite shake. “they didn’t eliminate anyone or give a ranking but you all deserved first.”
it’s impulsiveness that entices the next few words from her hesitant lips and even as her own confidence wavers ( because, again, for another week. she thinks she’s let them down somehow ) her voice is firm. “they chose to put you in teams and you guys have shown you aren’t just assigned to this team, you belong here. we belong together,” there’s no hesitation now, even if it’s one of the cheesiest sentences she’s uttered in so long. “you’ve shown that you can all work together and shine despite being so different. let’s show them that even when they try to split you apart, you’re still a team. screw most valuable person, let’s show them you’re all valuable. the most valuable in this competition.”
—
choosing a song is difficult, not because of individual selfish desire but a greed for everyone to properly be on stage together as one. but it’s a reason she’s even more proud of her team. it truly didn’t tear them apart, the decision and news of the last episode only brings them closer together and she’d be pressed to say the notion didn’t nearly bring her to tears. this is the reason she loves music, why she loves singing, why she loves performing. because it brings people together, because they went from complete strangers to a cohesive team and, in her eyes, practically family. she feels it every time jiyoon calls her unnie and from the first moment jimin had called her noona. it surprised her the first time and now she comes to expect it, is more than ecstatic to hear it when her and jiyoon pop into the 7/11 he works at.
an invitation extended to jimin felt like the right thing to do, the only thing because even if he was no longer on the show, he was still a part of team and they wouldn’t be the same without having met him, without getting to know him. despite being gone, he was still a force that keeps them together and she’s grateful for it more than he could possibly know. it’s while watching the performance that she’s absolutely entranced and time and time again they remind her of her love for the stage. it’s while being with her team that she remembers why she started, why she wanted this dream, and as much as she encourages them to act as if this is their dream, the sentiment lingers in her mind too.
teasing jiyoon about how shy she becomes while watching yuri and jaebum act so romantically in public, a feat that’s daring in even in hongdae, and seeing how jimin can’t keep still, the desire to dance too rendering him restless, she can’t help grinning. no matter how the mgas this season continued, it was moments like this that she’d keep with her. moments like this that she’s think of and fall in love again.
a love for music and performing is one she’d never deny. today, she falls in love with how others perform again too.
—
outfit, check.
vocal warm-up, check.
stereotypical pep-talk for her team, definitely a check with how cheesy she’d been feeling around them lately.
no matter what mental lists she goes through, tiffany isn’t calming down and she smiles through it all, feigns a calm countenance as she reaches out to adjust the nonexistent bend in jiyoon’s collar, hand brushing over the leather of the younger’s shoulder as she tells her they’re going to be amazing. “besides, we’re starting with your dancing. the way you guys dance is already a great way to go. you don’t even need my singing,” she jokes.
it’s when she’s alone, rushing back to a mirror to remove the pins from her hair that she finds calm in the form of a certain trc rapper and fellow coach. whenever she looks at him, she remembers that when she lacks complete faith in herself, bobby has the utmost confidence in her. a split-second smile, a brief exchange of gazes, and a quick turn away but she still feels the comfort of his presence. when she comes back to her team, it’s then that she can finish off the last item on the list she didn’t realize she needed, reassurance.
as many times as she can tell herself and them that it’s about having fun on stage, about enjoying what you do, and allowing the audience to not only be drawn in but to feel the performance, to let the lyrics and melody enrapture them, there’s still a part of her that wonders if being part of the stage is beneficial to them. if she’ll be beneficial to them. if shehas been.
but when her gaze meets instead with a different rapper, with jiyoon, she’s sure of herself, of their decisions, of everything that brought them to this point. “this stage belongs to us.”
—
eyes widen open and her heart on her shoulder, everything still fades to black until it gives way to a spotlight, to jiyoon and yuri and jaebum. she can’t break character from this point on but seeing them this close while performing, without the spotlight they’d still shine too brightly. seeing them this close, she wonders how she could hold it together, how she can keep herself from smiling.
her acting put to the test and she allows jiyoon’s rap to bring her the proper clarity of mind she needs to sing.
but i just can’t seem to let you go
whenever, wherever, however, i’ll be in front of you
there’s no such thing as our end
she mouths the final sentiment with jiyoon, “never that’s right never” because it holds true for what tiffany sings for most, or who. her mother and despite whatever heartbreak tiffany’s experienced until now, none compares to her.
it’s raining on a night like this
you have left and i’m left on this street
why, why, why
why, why, why
i’m waiting for you, so foolishly
you won’t come back but
why, why, why
why, why, why
do I keep thinking of you?
even when thoughts of her family render her weak, it’s looking to yuri as they dance together and singing the coda of the song as she leans against jiyoon that confirms the notion of their team becoming their own kind of family, because she can lean on them. because it’s true that she leads them as coach but, above all, she’s a member of the team.
