#roommate?

[livefromabel]

THANK YOU finally everyone will get some peace and quiet from the clap clap of my boobies around town cuz all my bras are too loose

Got kicked out of the tent last night for giggling too loudly over this message

[bouvardiia]

Zach: I also noticed all the kid’s toys. Why do you have so many?

Carmon had to think of something fast.

Carmon: They are my roommates. She has kids.

[veltroxx]

why does the cat act like i’m the weird roommate? she’s the one knocking stuff off tables at 3 am, clearly a secret chaos agent in disguise. i’m just here trying to sip coffee without a crime scene.

[dreamscaringwidow]

A conversation Between Dr. Verytall and Shortmen

Dr. Verytall: and this is where I make my death rays.

Shortmen: this is nice, really nice...

Dr. Verytall: Ok what do you want.

Shortmen:What do you mean:?

Dr. Verytall: You always here when you need something.

Shortmen: thats not true!

Dr. Verytall: You literally came here yesterday asking for a robot army.

Shortmen: That was a one time thing!

Dr. Verytall: Okay then, Over this week alone you have asked me for: a lazer gun, a parachute, a thermal suit, a rocket ship able to take you to E5G-B1tC4 which is 3.85trillion lightyears away, a Time machine, the Ark of the covenant, and a massive Death Egg replica. So now I will ask again what do you want.

Shortmen: Sugar.

Dr. Verytall: *Runs off screaming, pulling out his sythetic hair*

[fignewter]

My love language is sarcasm and dry humor and if you can’t handle that then that’s your problem

[ghostydoof-blog]

do i shoot him now, or later?

[neuro-notation]

Okay?

Not okay.