sent at 14:28 07/02/26
E: are u, perchance, free at the moment??
R: yeah, why?
E: i look like a pencil.
R: got it. omw
* * * *
“Thank you for coming!” Emily said, a hand over her forehead. She paced around the apartment like a chicken with its head cut off. The floorboards creaked with each stomp. “I was just trying to trim my goddamn bangs and–”
“Slow down! How bad is it?”
Ruby shut the front door. Hair shears sat on the coffee table beside some leftovers. Emily dropped it half-hazardly in the sink once Ruby locked eyes with the day-old ramen. Remnants of Emily’s impulsivity were scattered in front of a full-length mirror.
“Bad!” She scratched her neck with her other hand. The floors went quiet. “I was–uh–thinking of asking Mags for help, but I didn’t…”
“Didn’t wanna look…?”
“Even worse? Yeah. Sorry–”
“No, I get it. The gown for the Iverson Ball? I didn’t exactly–”
“Right? Anyways. Please do not laugh at me. Please.”
Emily unveiled her forehead, bowl-cut bangs out on display. Ruby sucked in a laugh.
“Well. I can see much more of your forehead.”
“God! It’s horrendous. Are these even bangs?”
“Microbangs. Definitely microbangs.”
Emily groaned into her hands. “What detective has fucking microbangs?”
“You do! And you look great!”
“Can you fix it?”
“You think I can fix two inches of hair?”
“Ruby.”
“I mean, I can even them out, but that’s about it. You’re just gonna have to grow them out. Or…” She grabbed the shears with a smirk.
“Or what?”
“When was the last time you got a haircut?”
She shrugged. “I’ve had the same hair since I was fourteen. I trim the ends when it gets too long.”
“Have you ever thought about changing it up? I mean, it’s been almost twenty years.”
“Please do not remind me of my age.” She crossed her arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I’ve definitely thought about it. When I was in college, I thought about getting a mullet. Never got around to it. Obviously.”
Ruby tapped her foot, still smirking.
“What?”
“It’s never too late. You can always change it up!”
Emily fiddled with the cabinet knob. Seventeen years flew by, and all it left was stagnation. Eight years of grinding away at school. Two years of Holbeck and Morris’ shitty quips. Seven bodies worth investigating. To hell with that!
She grinned. “You know what? Give me a mullet.”
“Yay!” Ruby squealed. “Now, please sit.”
Emily sat criss-cross in front of the mirror, the living room rug nipping at her ankles. Ruby sat behind her, running her hands through her hair. Disheveled and choppy, like a bed skirt torn at the edges. Ruby separated it into sections with the bobby pins splattered across the ground. She maneuvered to her side, trimming her bangs.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair down.”
Emily scoffed. “Not true! Remember when we went to Katana Kitten? You spent the night here. I always sleep with it down.”
“Ha! Sharp memory. That was like, four years ago.”
“Mind of a steel trap and all that.”
Ruby combed out the bangs, stomach grumbling. “God. I want garlic wings.”
“You ever been to Boka?”
She shook her head, now sitting behind Emily.
“Theirs are pretty good. All you can eat. Would you wanna go tomorrow?”
“That’ll be fun!” Ruby said, cutting rows of vertical lines at the back of Emily’s hair. “It’s been a while since we’ve had dinner at the boss’s house.”
“Mafalda’s too busy playing soccer mom. Maybe we can do it next month.” Emily played with the hem of her sweater. “You’ve been busy. What’ve you been up to?”
“Oh, you know. Lots of work. Last month, I went to a medical examiners’ conference in Albany. Did a four-hour forensic sculpture workshop.”
“Sounds riveting.”
“Quite. I’ve also been writing some…stuff.”
Emily raised a brow. “Really? Has Luke finally gotten you into journaling?”
“Pft! No. I’ve actually been writing about you. And Trystan.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s fun! Since I stopped reading Nick Bastion, I’ve been writing short stories about you two. Beating up bad guys, solving crimes. Stuff like that.”
“Oh, my God!” She laughed. “That’s fucking amazing. What was the last one you wrote about?”
“Remember the culatello robbery?”
Emily snorted. “That was crazy. I had to chase that old lady for five blocks! You think you’d ever let me read it?”
“Hm. Maybe. I’ll think about it.” Ruby zhuzhed up Emily’s hair, shifting the front layers around until it framed her face. “And…I…am…done! What do you think?”
A tornado swept through Emily’s head, leaving both short and oblong layers in its wake. The two-inch bowl-cut bangs were no more, replaced with wispy ones that curtained out. Everything else was unkempt, strands choppy and tousled. She grinned from ear to ear.
“I love it. Ruby, you’re amazing!”
“Thanks! I tried my best.”
The front door opened, a gust of wind blowing through the living room. Trystan barged in, hands behind his back.
“Hello–oooo-oooo!” He glanced at the two women. “Emily! You look magnificent. What is the saying – business in the front, party in the back? Now I can kiss your forehead and not have to move your bangs.”
“Aw, shucks.” She pecked his cheek. “You hiding something back there?”
Trystan pulled out a box of pastries. “I stopped by our spot. Your favorite’s back, by the way.”
Emily bit into a hojicha-filled donut, still warm and pillowy. She hummed. “It’s delishush, fhanksh.”
Trystan chuckled. “You’re as graceful as ever.”
“You’re as grasheful as ehver.”
“Ruby!” Trystan pointed the box at her. “Can I tempt you?”
“You don’t even have to ask.” She grabbed a mango tart, adorned with a glazed raspberry and a sprig of mint.
“Did you give her the mullet?”
“Mhmph,” she mumbled between bites.
“You’re quite talented. Mags would cut my hair when we were teenagers–well, when I was a teenager. She was nine or so. I looked absolutely marvelous.”
Emily and Ruby snickered.
“What?”
“Nothing!” Emily shook her head, laughing. “Don’t even worry about it.”
* * * *
a/n: emily is my silly little friend with a mullet! i figured it was about time she had a little change...thank you for reading! ♡
tags: @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesmcappreciationweek @choicesjulychallenge2026 @jerzwriter @jahrobin @urcowboygirlfriend @calisomnia @tessa-liam @dutifullynuttywitch @juudaimes-true-form @im-the-galactic-starfish @tinytimism @loreofyore (if you’d like to be removed or added to my tag list, please let me know!)
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I don't know why, but the idea of Ruby Webster from Crimes and Passion and Vivian Lopez from The Phantom Agent as a couple really intrigues me
Vivian is more than happy to bend the rules and Ruby is aghast but enamored by Vivian's carefree attitude. Or perhaps Ruby just has a type for computer hacker nerds lol
‘I don’t like how Crimes of Passion 2 basically gave us a whole new set of supporting characters (the Thorne siblings) and all but ignores the supporting characters from book 1 (Ruby, Luke, MAFALDA) :(’
POST/CONFESSIONS DO NOT REFLECT THE MOD’S PERSONAL OPINIONS!
