#s17e7

[s0uth3park]

Love how most Princess Kenny content is Bunny themed when in Black Friday, Butters sided with Cartman but Stan stuck by his princess' side. Now we know who the true suitor of Lady McCormick is.

[buttonbax]

It is now too cold in my room.

Was not expecting the DeLuca thing this early. Was also not expecting to see Ben there.

[amanita-muscaria-things]

Pouring a shot of tequila for Andrew DeLuca

[relatablepicturesoflisasimpson]

[amanita-muscaria-things]

Riposa in pace Andrea DeLuca

[reblogyourcrenny]

crenny (black friday meeting)

[pokemopolis-archive-blog]

Giving Chase at the Rhyhorn Race! (2)

Part 1: http://pokemopolis-archive.tumblr.com/post/129108307372/giving-chase-at-the-rhyhorn-race-1

As the sun sets they have finally extracted themselves from the mess, Serena laughing about what a muddy mess the two of them are and Bonnie, of course, being in 7th heaven.  Meanwhile, the Rhyhorn is still bucking Ash as Pikachu offers encouragement, and Bonnie and Clemont throw in their own suggestions.  Serena is more aggressive and helpful though, shouting out warnings to close his mouth so he doesn't bite his tongue, and to be one with the Rhyhorn.  With horror she flashes back again, remembering that these are the EXACT same words her mother said to her when she was training.  Yes it is every girl's worst dream, she has become her mother! It works though, as Rhyhorn stops bucking and moves forward at Ash's command... though maybe that's just because it decided it wanted to drink water from the trough.  Ash happily believes that he has made progress though and says to Rhyhorn they'll do the same tomorrow.   Serena watches the happy bond between the two (on Ash's behalf at least) and thinks to herself maybe, just maybe, she didn't really understand Rhyhorn Racing after all. That night in the Pokémon Center as the twerps sleep in the four bed room (Ash spreadeagled as always, sheets all over the place), Serena and Fennekin are busy downstairs in the kitchen baking.  Well Serena is, Fennekin is just up on the counter violating any number of safety regulations, while Serena whispers to it to be quiet as she goes about using the equipment without position and creating one hell of a fire hazard. The next day is the final day of the Rhyhorn Race, and Ash is lined up with the other trainers (there are six racers in total for this open event, which is kinda sad).  The race begins and five Rhyhorn take off at pace, while Ash remains on the starting line with his Rhyhorn bucking about crazily before finally setting off at a far slower pace than the others.  It isn't a good start, but Ash remains his usual cheerful self, telling Rhyhorn that now it is time for them to catch up and take the lead! In the forest, Team Rocket are waiting in ambush, having set things up nicely for their own surprise.  Inkay floats out and blasts the remote cameras with ink, turning the big screens back in the village black and leaving them none the wiser as to what is actually going on.  As each camera goes out, only the twerps decide to be proactive, heading out of the stands to investigate what is happening. In the forest, Ash notices that there is no sign of the other Rhyhorn in front of him anymore, though he never for a moment considers it might be because he's a shitty racer and they're really far ahead of him.   He's right in that sense at least, as suddenly a glowing web appears in the sky and envelops him, knocking him clear from Rhyhorn and into the ground.  The web solidifies around him, wrapping tight and pinning his arms and legs together, while ahead of him Rhyhorn (with Pikachu on its horn) skids to a stop to avoid a crackling line of energy appearing before it.  Unfortunately this was just as planned, as suddenly glowing walls of energy surrounds it on all sides and then solidifies into a barred cage.  The bars are wide enough that Pikachu could conceivably just run through them, but let's just ignore that like the writers did! Ash notices the other riders, all wrapped up and tucked into the treeline alongside the path as he soon will be.  "Mission accomplished!" says a familiar voice, but of course he demands to know who it was instead of making an educated guess himself. "Prepare for trouble, who do you think?" "And make it double, with a nod and a wink!" "To protect the world from devastation!" "To unite all people within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jesse!" "And James!" "Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare for a fight!" "Meowth, dat's right!" "WOBBUFFET!" Yes it is Team Rocket, and they've actually put together a pretty damn solid plan! The cage holding Pikachu and Rhyhorn lifts out of the ground with wheels emerging, and connects by energy-lines to the line of other cages holding the other Rhyhorns in them.  Ash demands to know what they want (to take over the world, of course!) and demands Pikachu back, but he's utterly impotent and can only wiggle about on the ground as they dismissively wave their goodbyes as Meowth takes the seat at the front of the "train" and gets them moving.  It seems that nothing can stop them... until somebody shits in Meowth's face!

Okay it wasn't shit, but Mudshot thrown by Bunnelby.  An exhausted, sweating Clemont arrives on the scene having taken a slight shortcut, while Serena and Bonnie come up the path not far behind.  Spotting the derailed Team Rocket, Fennekin motions to Serena who picks up immediately that it wants to help.  As Bonnie unbinds Ash, Serena has Fennekin use Ember, washing over Jesse and James and setting fire to - what else? - their asses!

They panic and rush away clutching their derrieres, but as they go James loses his grip on the remote control operating the train of cages.  Clemont does his adorable waddle-run, scooping up a rock as he goes and leaping through the air, smashing the rock into the device as he paradoxically declares,"FOR THE FUTURE OF SCIENCE!" With the device shattered, the cages fail, the energy bars turning off and freeing the Rhyhorn, and leaving Jesse and James standing right next to a VERY pissed off Rhyhorn...

and Meowth in front of another five of them!  All of Team Rocket huddle together in fear, Wobbuffet rather cutely clutching to Jesse.  The Rhyhorn move in and charge, and Team Rocket are sent blasting off again.  With the day saved, the villains gone, and everything sorted out.... Officer Jenny shows up! She asks if everybody is all right, and soon all the other racers have been freed too.  However none of them can go anywhere until statements are made, and presumably the race is just called off completely so Ash doesn't even get the chance to destroy the dreams of some poor bastard who has spent his whole life training for just this one day.  But as Jenny makes a belated effort to make herself look like a professional, competent authority figure, Serena exchanges a look with Fennekin and considers that maybe, just maybe, she has what it takes to be a Pokémon Trainer after all. Later in the Pokémon Center, Serena talks to her mother on the video phone, joined eagerly by the rest of the twerps who are excited to introduce themselves and get a look at Serena's mum.  They all take turns shoving their faces into the viewscreen, including Dedenne, and Serena herself is just as excited to show off Fennekin.  Her mother seems pleased to see her daughter has made new friends so quickly, and has no problem with her traveling with two young boys on the verge of puberty and only a small girl as female company.  She asks them to take good care of her daughter (poor Brock would have been dreaming of hearing those words), and Ash enthusiastically tells her all about the great work that Serena has done for them recently.  This includes teaching him how to ride a Rhyhorn, and a startled Serena desperately tries to shush him as he inadvertently reveals just how much Serena has learned from her mother and how alike the two of them are.  Ash has no idea what the problem is, insisting it is true, and blurts out even more details as a mortified Serena listens.   Serena tries to retake control of the conversation, shoving the happy Ash aside and hurriedly explaining that she has decided to travel with Ash (oh yeah and his friends too), isn't that the best? To her great surprise her mother happily agrees and wishes her the best of luck, declaring it will be a great learning experience for her.  Serena was probably expecting a big argument and is surprised and pleased that her mother is giving her her freedom, not suspecting it's a wonderful old parent's trick to get kids to eventually do what they want them to do down the road. Serena's mother is smart enough to know that Serena was going to do this anyway, and that if she'd stood in the way then it would have just caused all kinds of aggravation and bad feelings - but now Serena is doing it with her blessing, and if it all goes wrong she can come home, and if it all goes right then she'll thank her mother for letting her go.   Soon after the twerps are waiting outside for their newest member, and Serena comes out happily apologizing for taking so long.  She is excited to be coming with them (especially Ash of course) and she has a treat for Ash, offering him a small bag.  Inside are cookies, and Ash happily scoffs them down as Serena blushes furiously, enjoying seeing him enjoying them.  She says it is a gift for all of his... uhh.... ummm... his hard work! Yeah, that's it! OhyeahandalsobecauseofthattimeweheldhandsandIdecidedweweregoingtogetmarriedifyoueatthecookiesitmeanswe'regettingmarriedI'vedreamedaboutthisforthelasthalfdecadeohgod. Bonnie is a little upset that she isn't getting any (Ash doesn't even make a token offer of sharing!), but Serena cheers her up by taking out a couple of extra bags she also made, giving one to Bonnie and the other to Clemont.  Ash chokes from basically just stuffing the food down his throat, and after he recovers he gives one to Pikachu to eat. Serena smiles and blushes, happy to be a part of Team Twerp, but happier to be with Ash once again.  Sure he isn't the idealised fantasy she has deluded herself with all these years, but she still blushes when he compliments her and dreams of holding hands with him one again, while he remains obliviously happy and has no idea just how much impact his cheerful kindness all those years ago had on her.  It should be fun to see how things proceed from here, because of course this obliviousness is probably going to lead to plenty of embarrassment for her in the future, such as this:

But so long as he says something kind or stands near her or, hell, just inadvertently gives her a good look at his ass, there'll probably also be equal amounts of this:

Welcome to the twerps, Serena!

Moral Learnt: Sorry girls, you'll all grow up to be your mothers!

BEST QUOTES Ash: "Do you think you could show me how it is done, Serena?"

[pokemopolis-archive-blog]

Giving Chase at the Rhyhorn Race! (1)

802: Giving Chase at the Rhyhorn Race!

811: Serena ni Omakase!? Gekiso Saihon Resu! 

Pokemopolis Title: Dat Ash

Dodginess: 4/5

Animation: 4.5/5

Story: Serena helps Ash compete in a Rhyhorn Race

Team Rocket: Derailed... and they weren't even on rails!

Last episode saw Ash gain his first Gym Badge in Kalos, and also finally meet Serena and shatter her long-held girlish dreams.  As the last episode ended, Serena had her little bubble punctured again when, while walking down the street with the twerps, Ash spoke up to ask where she was going now.  It seems she just kind of assumed she was coming with them, and now she has to face the humiliation of either admitting that or trying to save face and come up with a reason she was walking in the same direction as them.  As she umms and uhhs and tries to figure it out, Ash obliviously saves her by happily asking why she doesn't just come along with them? Bonnie eagerly agrees, rushing up and grabbing her by the wrist, and Clemont is happy with the idea too.  Saved from embarrassment and getting her futile hopes rekindled, she places a hand to her heart (or strokes her tit if you wanna be crass about it) and happily agrees, winking and acting like the idea hadn't occurred to her before. Bonnie pulls her happily over to join them, ecstatic at having another girl along, and Serena decides to show her usefulness immediately by showing them her electronic map and suggesting the course they take to Cyllage City.  The most direct route is actually by returning to Lumiose City, and when Ash agrees she happily admits she was hoping to visit a cute little boutique for some clothes shopping and stop by a bakery known for the quality of its pastries.  Bonnie is in heaven, shopping and pastries in Lumiose City!?! She actually drools in anticipation, and she and Serena rush off ahead, followed by an eager Ash whose primary concern is getting to his next Gym Battle.  Clemont brings up the rear as usual, struggling to keep up with the others thanks to his bow-legged run and heavy backpack. Soon they're out of the city and into the countryside, following a clear path as Ash considers taking another shot at the Lumiose Gym.  Clemont seems concerned at this notion and smoothly shifts the conversation to catching another Kalos Region Pokémon before considering anything else. Ash agrees, and being Ash he immediately begins snooping about through the grass and rocks in expectation of a Pokémon just being there all of a sudden waiting for him.  Bonnie overheard and turns to ask if she can "keep" whatever Pokémon he gets next, and he has no problem with that... though of course Bonnie does specify this is only if he catches a "really cute" Pokémon.  As Bonnie celebrates and Ash hunts stupidly around in the cracks and crevices of a nearby hillbank, Clemont takes the chance to get to know Serena better, asking why she decided to go on a journey anyway.

Awwwwwww yesssss. Slightly misleading and out of context screenshots aside, she fishes around in her skirt pocket and brings out something, approaching Ash and telling him she has been meaning to give him this for some time... it's his, after all.  Oh shit, is it a paternity test!?!

She asks if he remembers that they both went to Professor Oak's Summer Camp (it's only been a day but she seems to know Ash well enough to know he might have forgotten already), and then shows him the handkerchief she is holding in her hands - it's his.  Why does she have it? She flashes back to that day when she was just a little girl in a pretty pink dress and a straw hat, lost out in the woods having somehow gotten separated from all the other camp kids.  A rustling in the bushes frightened the poor little girl even more, though it was just a harmless Poliwag leaping out and waddling on down the path.  In tears and crying for her mother, lil' Serena was further frightened by more rustling, but what emerged was a delighted lil' Ash! Happily hunting the Poliwag, he spots Serena and asks if she is all right, and she explains she has hurt her leg.  With the enthusiastic idiocy we've come to know and love, he "bandaged" her knee with his handkerchief and waved his hands around in the air while chanting,"FEEL BETTER FEEL BETTER RIGHT AWAY!" Of course real life isn't that easy, but when Serena complained that it still hurt the happy little boy just insisted that you should never give up till it is over.  Offering his hand, the enthralled lil' Serena took it and he lifted her up, catching her as she stumbled forward into what she probably thought was an embrace.  Smiling and telling her everything is fine, he lead her back to the campsite hand in hand....

and she's been fantasizing happily about that day ever since.  Back in the present she returns the handkerchief to Ash and explains how she saw him on television in the Garchomp news story.  Belatedly Ash's creaking brain accesses a memory and he happily declares that he DOES remember her... she's the girl in the straw hat! Serena blushes happily, maybe they CAN get married and live happily ever after! He asks if she came all this way to... give him a handkerchief!?! She admits that she really wanted to see HIM again too, not that he picks up on the inference, but he does at least have enough history traveling with girls to be a bit sheepish when she pouts grumpily at him and reminds him that he didn't recognise her AT ALL when they first met, haha!

Of course being Ash he just laughs it off with a sheepish,"Sorry!", and while they all laugh to break the tension the conversation doesn't get to go any further as they're interrupted by the rumbling of approaching Pokémon.  They leap aside as Rhyhorn come thundering by them with people riding them, followed by another group soon after.  They check them out with the Pokédex, and then Officer Jenny comes riding up on her motorcycle.  She's furious, wanting to know what the hell they're doing on the road, they're not supposed to be there, this is the path that the Rhyhorn Race takes place on! The twerps are mortified, shocked that they did something as thoughtless and selfish as walking along a publicly accessible road that has zero warning signs or fences or barricades or security guards in place.  How could they be so self-absorbed that they didn't take account of the unadvertised and unmarked route!?! Officer Jenny takes them to a hillside overlooking a village where the races begin and end.  Stands are set up for people to sit and watch, with big video screens in place so they can watch the race as it moves through the forest.  Clemont explains to Ash that these are very popular in Kalos, and Serena elaborates, pointing out that the bigger cities have race tracks too and this little village's track is actually a fairly easy one.  Ash is impressed by her knowledge and she isn't about to deny getting his attention so she offers a few more tidbits.  Jenny, who apparently has gotten over her anger at the twerps thoughtless and totally unacceptable trespassing on public, unmarked land, tells Ash that a special race available to all comers will take place tomorrow and he is welcome to join in if he likes.  Given that Serena is clearly the expert and Ash knows absolutely nothing about these races, everybody agrees that it would be best for Ash to be the one to take part! Soon they're at a small ranch where a helpful lady offers Ash the choice of any Rhyhorn he wants to use as his mount.  This is hardly a financially viable way to run a ranch but that isn't Ash's concern.  He just ponders all the available Rhyhorn while Bonnie gushes over how cute they are, and then finally makes his decision and approaches the Rhyhorn carefully from behind.  Serena warns him off, telling him that this is the wrong way to approach a Rhyhorn, they can panic or feel threatened.  Instead she demonstrates the appropriate way to approach, from the front and slowly.  The Rhyhorn growls at her but calms when it sees she is not a threat and lets her pet it.  Ash does so too, all of them impressed at how much Serena knows, and with a blush (she does that a lot!) she admits that her mother is a Rhyhorn Racer and she learned from a young age how to deal with them.  Ash asks if this means she wants to be a Rhyhorn Racer like her mother, and Serena replies that she has nothing against Rhyhorn Racing, but she feels like there might be something else out there for her to do (Ash!).  Clemont notes that it seems she wants to find her own path (into Ash's pants!) and she agrees.  Happy to ask for help, Ash asks her if she will teach him the basics of Rhyhorn Racing like what the rules are and how to ride (the REAL basics!).  With only a little cajoling from Bonnie and Clemont she agrees, after all she is flattered and only too happy to do anything that involves more one-on-one time with Ash. This charming scene is watched from afar by Team Rocket, hiding in the shadows of a building and commenting that they've been looking for the twerp for a while now, which is a nice way of explaining their absence from the last few episodes.  Wobbuffet is happy to chime in on the conversation but James quickly shoves him out of the way, Team Rocket deciding to be in one of their "dark and evil" modes for now and sneering as they declare that the Boss will be pleased to get Pikachu and also some Rhyhorn, as if Rhyhorn aren't in plentiful supply in Kanto already.  Not one to let his cheerful optimism be obscured, Wobbuffet pops happily back up in the background to salute bravely while Meowth cackles evilly in the foreground. Back at the ranch, Serena shows off her Rhyhorn Rider tracksuit, a pink one-piece with hearts sewed on one hip.  Bonnie is dazzled of course, Clemont is complimentary and Pikachu admiring, but she REALLY wants to get Ash's reaction.  Of course, Ash being Ash, he is utterly enthralled in his own standard blue tracksuit, leaving Serena to pout disappointed in the background once again

(I foresee her doing that along with her blushing A LOT in the future).  She has Ash approach the Rhyhorn slowly, which he does with a ridiculously Scooby-doo style walk, and then she shows him how to get up on top of the Rhyhorn.  That's the easiest part of the day, you'd have to be some kind of super-retard moron not to be able to sit down atop a broad-backed Rhyhorn. Oh yeah, it's Ash.

He manages to somehow completely miss the Rhyhorn and crash into the ground.... more than once! Rubbing his butt he staggers up and over again and again, missing the Rhyhorn somehow and smashing into the ground, violating all known laws of spatial reasoning.  Finally she takes charge, showing Ash exactly how you do it (you sit your ass down on the fucking Rhyhorn!).  She seems surprised that Bonnie and Clemont are also impressed with this most basic of accomplishments, but allows herself to be convinced to show off some more when Ash finally asks the question she always dreamed he would ("Can you show me how to do it?"), just in the wrong context.  She demonstrates how to make a Rhyhorn walk slowly forward, impressing Bonnie and Clemont, but Ash of course wants to run before he can walk (or sit!) and asks how to do that.  Serena, proud despite herself of her accomplishments, repeats the question out loud and the Rhyhorn seems to take exception, bucking wildly all of a sudden.  She is thrown off the Rhyhorn, and then finds herself surrounded by all the others, which swarm in on her in front of the horrified twerps.   To Ash's great surprise, he hears giggling coming from inside the huddle of Rhyhorn, and he and Clemont stare in shock as they witness the hulking Pokémon... licking her!?!

Getcha minds outta da gutta! As their fat tongues slobber all over her underage boy, she suddenly flashes back to her own early days learning how to ride a Rhyhorn, and being similarly bucked (that's bucked with a B, you perverts).  She ponders this, was that just her own Rhyhorn just playing with her? She doesn't elaborate further, but it seems that part of her issue with following in her mother's footsteps was down to a sense of unease around her own "pet" Rhyhorn? Bonnie has no such sense of unease though, eagerly rushing in to join the happy Rhyhorn, wanting in on the cuddle part.  As Bonnie giggles as they lick her too, Serena seems to consider her own ideas about Rhyhorn. Part 2: http://pokemopolis-archive.tumblr.com/post/129108506532/giving-chase-at-the-rhyhorn-race-2