#s6 spec

[tulipfromtheinternet]

I have a feeling Connor is going to start wondering if his baby is really his baby

Buck is going to have to use that newly acquired knowledge about how family isn’t just blood it’s how you love them.

He’s going to be instrumental in getting Connor to understand that genetic material doesn’t make you a father it’s being there for the kid.

Buck didn’t just learn this for himself. But he’s going to PAY IT FORWARD. We’re going to witness buck GET IT!

[gayhoediaz]

With the way that the show keeps hammering home the fact that Buck doesn’t know, Buck doesn’t have a clue, Buck doesn’t have any idea whatsoever - I’m scared about what is going to happen when he does figure it out.

I think he’s already so terrified of losing Eddie, every single day. It’s the nature of the job. (I think he’s terrified of losing everyone he works with, but especially Eddie. After everything they have been through.) But at the end of the day, that’s “just” his best friend. (We all know it’s more, but if a stranger asked him, I think that’s what he would say right now. Eddie is his best friend.)

And I think that, as much as Buck wants to be in love someday, he doesn’t think he’ll get it. Even if he gets married, I don’t think he sees the possibility of him being lucky enough to have that kind of love. Once-in-a-lifetime, big, great, makes-you-dizzy, want to climb inside of their chest and live there, crying and laughing while making love - kind of love.

I think when he thinks about getting married, he thinks about finding a woman who wants him, and who is a good person - someone he can build something with. Make something. (Misunderstand the assignment with.)

But him realizing that not only has he found that great, big love that he never thought that he would get? But to also realize that it’s Eddie? Eddie, who he is already terrified of losing?

It won’t be pretty. It’s going to hit him like a truck and probably maim him like one too.

[honorarybuckley]

buck: i think the lightning made me psychic

eddie: (amused) oh yeah, what are you gonna do with it?

buck: i’m gonna finally win a game of poker

[frankchurchillsaysrelax]

Eddie hasn’t said a word to him aside from on calls since Buck told the team the news halfway through their shift. Buck spots him on the weights in silence, he lays awake next to him in the bunks in silence, and come morning he follows him home in silence.

Eddie doesn’t wait for him to enter behind him and Buck has to open the door for himself. He turns the lock and takes a moment to press his hands against the hard wood in front of him. Chris is at school and the silence that follows them into the house is big and suffocating, the space suddenly too small for the two of them.

Buck watches as Eddie moves around, taking his bag and all but dumping its contents into an empty laundry basket. He disappears into his bedroom and returns a few moments later with an armful of dirty clothes. Buck’s eyes follow him as he heads over to the closet housing the washer and dryer. He tracks his movements as he goes through the motions of loading the clothes and then the detergent before taking his time adjusting the settings on the machine. Buck clocks the tension in Eddie’s shoulders, the tick of his jaw as he clenches his teeth.

The closet door clicks shut, muffling the noise of running water. Eddie walks down the hall, his shoulder brushing Buck’s as he passes and Buck’s hand shoots out to grab Eddie’s wrist before he can think better of it. It feels like holding onto an exposed wire.

“Eddie?” he whispers, a shot fired on the street in the middle of a sunny day.

“Hmm?” Three heartbeats thrum against the spot where Buck is touching him before Eddie pulls away and continues down the hallway. Buck takes his acknowledgment and runs with it.

“Are we gonna talk about this?” Buck leans against the kitchen counter and wills Eddie to turn away from the sink and face him. Instead, Eddie turns on the tap and runs his fingers through the stream to test the temperature.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Buck,” he says as he picks up a dish. He hasn’t seen Eddie this closed off since his breakdown and for some reason he feels nothing but shame for it. Buck walks over and grabs a towel. His arm presses against Eddie, a familiar warmth passing between them. It feels like a burn, a brand from the tension surrounding them, pushing the walls in too close. Eddie doesn’t move away. “You already said yes.”

“And you think I shouldn’t have.” It’s not a question but Buck finds himself holding his breath for an answer anyway. He watches out of the corner of his eye as Eddie’s jaw ticks again.

“I think that you haven’t thought about this at all.” Buck doesn’t think that’s fair. He’s done nothing but think about it since Jeremy asked him. “This new philosophy has you just saying yes to anything no matter the consequences.” He practically shoves the plate into Buck’s hands and grabs another. Buck thinks he can see Eddie’s hands shaking beneath the water. “I mean, Jesus Buck, it’s a baby.”

“I wouldn’t be raising it.” He ignores the dull throb in his chest that always follows that thought.

“Exactly!” Eddie turns to face him and Buck finds he can’t look anywhere else. Eddie’s eyes are golden in the light but his gaze can only be described as piercing. “Can you really imagine having a kid out there, your kid, and not being part of their life at all?”

“It wouldn’t be my kid, not really. People do this all the time, Eddie.”

Abruptly, Eddie drops the plate in the sink and turns off the tap with more force than strictly necessary. “I’m not talking about people, Buck, I’m talking about you.” He turns and rests his hip against the sink, arms crossed in front of his chest. Buck continues wiping non-existent water off the first dish. “It would kill you.”

“It wouldn’t,” he says quickly. Too quickly. He sighs, setting down the plate and resting his palms against the counter to steady himself. “You should have heard him. He feels like he’s failing Claire, not being able to give her what she wants.” Buck understands the feeling but he doesn’t tell Eddie that. “If I can help him, help them, then shouldn’t I?”

Eddie’s hand is suddenly on his shoulder, turning him so they’re facing each other. His eyes are sad now and Buck drowns in them a little. “It’s not your job to fix everything. I keep waiting for you to see that.” He takes a step closer, his hand squeezing Buck’s shoulder. Buck’s breath catches as Eddie’s thumb shifts to rest against his collarbone, looking up at Buck through his eyelashes. “You don’t have to keep giving away pieces of yourself and expect nothing in return.”

Buck sits with the words running over and over through his head and he almost misses it. He thinks maybe he imagined it until it happens again a second later. Eddie’s eyes slip down to Buck’s mouth, his tongue appearing for a split second to wet his own lips. The tension surrounding them snaps. Buck is swaying into his space before his brain can catch up.

Eddie takes a step back. His hand slides down Buck’s arm to cup his elbow, keeping contact between them, but the damage has already been done. Buck can’t breathe. Maybe if he doesn’t breathe time will stand still.

“Buck,” Eddie starts but Buck doesn’t let him get any further.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. Something flashes in Eddie’s eyes as he shakes his head but Buck is already moving before he can even begin to wonder what it all means. Buck likes to consider himself a fighter but right now everything in him is screaming at him to flee. “I’m sorry,” he repeats and all but runs from the house.

Fuck.

[archerincombat]

i'm not waiting till tomorrow explain alcoholic theory

explain indeed. okay so the running theory is that s6 is going to be Buck/Bobby healing season, since s5 was about Eddie/Athena. obviously, you'd have the Buck and Bobby parallels, but that's not justification enough.

so looking at 5x11, we see Buck at the bar with Lucy and later in the Uber with Hen. before this, the last (and only?) time we saw Buck super drunk was in 3x16 with Red, and that wasn't the same at all. Buck was single, he could've hooked up with anyone he wanted if he felt like it, but he didn't. i don't know how else to explain the difference, but to me it's very obvious there is one.

in 5x11, we see Buck reverting back to his form of self-harm—sex/hooking up—but that's not entirely it. we also see the euphoria, the freedom even, that he felt as he was drinking. the show made it very clear he was drunk. the show also made it very clear that the person drunk Buck is is very different from sober Buck.

so what is sober Buck? the one that feels like everything in the world is his fault? the one that sees people running away from him? the one that's stuck in a relationship he doesn't even want to be in? cheating isn't morally permissible, hooking up with Lucy outside of that would be very Buck 1.0 of him, which he consciously doesn't want to slide back into. Bobby won't let him go on suicide calls if he can help it, so as far as vices go, there's only one thing left.

symbolically, in the dinner scene of 5x11, we see Buck, Eddie, and Taylor all drinking wine. later in the episode, at the bar, it's margaritas. obviously, in terms of relationships, the dinner scene was a much more stable place for Buck than the bar. so the wine represents any sanity he has left, and the harder alcohol represents the spiraling, in a way.

i'm only 50-50 on this, so don't hold me to it—but what if it's not Bobby that relapses? what if it's Bobby who has to help Buck (like he did with the drunk driver in 4x13) and we have to go from there?

[kodzuken]

why would buck go to hen over eddie if it’s not about eddie....

[gayhotpriests]

madney going to couple's therapy is straight out of 5b spec tumblr tim stop stealing our ideas we're onto you

[captainangua]

you know what we should have had in s6 instead of grandpa sam?? like fine let's keep the campbells but what if like. mary had an older sibling maybe a sister let's do winchester brothers and campbell sisters who'd already left the family maybe over a fallout that's not been uncovered. (i haven't watched in the beginning for forever but i feel like it doesn't contradict this Couldn't be the case right??) idk it just seems like that would have hit harder if they weren't sure how to feel about sam and dean but also like saw themself there especially since yeah they're working for crowley to bring back their little sister. and if they were also messed up by a shitty hunting patriarch instead of being one themselves then like it's so much easier to keep them about as the slutty violent macguffin they tried to make of ketch. so maybe they could survive long enough to mourn their sister a second time