I’m a huge advocate of yoga; I have been practicing for about ten years now. Thankfully ten years ago, I hadn’t experienced sexual abuse. I started doing yoga because it seemed cool, and the more I did it, the better I felt. I continue practicing today not only because it’s fun and for the countless benefits, but because it has helped immensely in healing my history of sexual violence. Sexual assault in its very nature is intrusive; it’s humiliating, invasive, demoralizing, the list goes on and on. And unfortunately for survivors of trauma, the incident is not where it ends; it’s only the beginning. Feelings of shame, guilt, regret, disgust, along with memories of the occurrence make it extremely challenging to form relationships and healthy connections with people. PTSD and other mental health challenges transpire, and this adds to the difficulty of learning to trust and “moving past” the past. What I love so much about yoga is it helps survivors connect with their bodies, which is easily disconnected from (dissociation) post trauma. The word yoga means union, and a yoga practice aids survivors in uniting their mind and bodies in a safe, slow way. When I was in a relationship where I was being battered quite regularly, I suffered from severe gastrointestinal issues, along with night terrors; emotional unrest and chronic fatigue (just to name a few). Going about daily life after any type of horrific event is not going to be a walk in the park. In PTSD, the almond sized amygdala in your brain is on overdrive. This is responsible for the “fight or flight response” you’ve most likely heard of. But when it does its job a bit too well, meaning you’re reading in the library yet still anticipating danger, we have a problem. When my PTSD was at its worst, I was hypervigilant and on edge 24/7. The body doesn’t feel safe because the chemicals in your brain are dysregulated, so don’t be so hard on yourself. I do wish however, that during this time (when I was in my abusive relationship) I was doing yoga more regularly. I hardly remember ever doing yoga and I believe it would’ve helped tremendously. In this way, I would’ve been able to reestablish a relationship with myself/body that was authentic; a bond which was needed during this time. Yoga is a form of exercise but to me it’s not working out. It is a safe resource I can go to no matter my size and you tailor it to meet your unique needs. Yoga teaches us to become aware of and sensitive to how our body feels, being mindful and gratitude for what we can do versus what we cannot. Yoga, unlike spin class, is almost always manageable, no matter where you are. I stand behind it 100% because in the last ten years it has stood behind me when needed. As long as you show up, you have an opportunity to reclaim your body. After an incident such as rape, we feel betrayed; by others, ourselves, and by our own bodies. Through yoga and breath work, you gradually become acquainted with yourself. Most classes incorporate meditation; however yoga itself is meditation. By doing yoga, you also release neurotransmitters which make you feel better naturally. In yoga we focus a lot on strengthening our core. By building your center (literally and metaphorically) you are supporting yourself on your way to peace. Each time I do yoga, I not only feel stronger physically, but psychologically too. By taking time out for me, I get to restore and renew myself through each pose. Yoga is not about being flexible, despite what many people assume. It is about breathing through discomfort, challenging limits [especially ones created in the mind] and exploring a deeper purpose. There are many balance postures and we are taught to hold them as long as possible. In the case where we fall/break the pose (and we all fall) we are to not get discouraged and jump back in. Yoga is much more than physical activity; it is self-acceptance and holistic healing. I started practicing again regularly about a month ago and already notice huge benefits. What you learn on your mat can be integrated into your life journey. We are taught to push ourselves but never to the point of discomfort/pain. There are numerous lessons in yoga I use every day, like always returning to the breath. I would advise if you have recently experienced any trauma, seek professional help. Yoga [although highly beneficial], is an addition to my treatment. I also attend counseling as well as take medication. I understand many people use yoga as their sole healing modality however, everyone is different and what may work for me may not be suitable for you. Nonetheless, support is crucial during trying times, so I encourage you to look for resources in your area. Yoga is an empowering way to cultivate health and love ourselves. I’m convinced nothing has transformed me more than this practice, and I am thankful for it every day.
