The Man
"What were you wearing?"
That is the question people always ask to those who suffer from sexual harassment, assault, and rape. Why does clothing have something to do with people forcing themselves onto others? Why does society still look for something the victim did instead of focusing on the person who chose to harm them? This question has been repeated for years in many cultures, and yet it often leads us away from the real issue: respect, accountability, and how we understand human behavior. Many people believe that the way a woman dresses can influence whether she becomes a victim of harassment or assault. This belief is often supported by misunderstandings of religious teachings, cultural expectations, or long-standing social norms.
One Bible passage often mentioned in these discussions is found in 1 Timothy 2:9–10, which encourages women to dress modestly with decency and propriety and to focus more on good deeds than outward appearance. Over time, some people interpreted this verse as meaning that women should dress in a certain way so that men will not be tempted to sin. Because of this interpretation, many people began associating modest clothing with safety and morality.
However, when we look deeper into both real-life situations and the broader message of the Bible, this idea becomes difficult to support. Around the world, victims of sexual violence include children, elderly individuals, and even infants—people who were clearly not dressed in ways that society would label as “provocative.” These realities show that sexual violence cannot simply be explained by clothing. If clothing were truly the cause, then such cases would not exist. The truth is that the issue goes far deeper than appearance. It involves power, control, and a lack of respect for another person’s dignity.
Interestingly, the teachings of Jesus present a different perspective that many people overlook. In the Gospel of Matthew 5:28, Jesus says that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. This teaching shifts responsibility away from the woman being looked at and places it directly on the person who is choosing to objectify someone. Jesus was emphasizing that wrongdoing begins in a person’s thoughts and intentions, not in someone else’s clothing. In other words, people are responsible for their own actions and attitudes.
The verse in 1 Timothy speaks about modesty and humility, encouraging people to value character and good deeds over outward display. Meanwhile, Jesus’ teaching in Matthew addresses personal responsibility and self-control. Together, they highlight something important: the focus of moral teaching is on how individuals behave and treat others, not on blaming victims for the actions of someone else. This idea is also reflected in real-life discussions about sexual violence.
For example, there is a Filipino documentary called 'Walang Rape sa Bontok' it explores a community where cultural values emphasized respect for women and accountability among members of society. The documentary suggests that when a community strongly values respect and dignity, incidents of sexual violence can become much less common. This challenges the assumption that controlling women’s behavior or clothing is the solution. Instead, it shows that the real solution lies in shaping attitudes, values, and how people are taught to treat one another.
Unfortunately, many societies still struggle with victim-blaming. Asking “What were you wearing?” may seem like a simple question, but it often carries a deeper implication—that the victim might somehow be responsible for what happened. This can make survivors feel ashamed or afraid to speak out. Instead of helping, this mindset protects harmful behavior and allows it to continue. When society focuses too much on clothing, it ignores the real problem: individuals who choose to disrespect boundaries and harm others. Sexual harassment, assault, and rape are serious issues that affect millions of people worldwide. Studies and advocacy movements have repeatedly shown that these crimes occur regardless of what someone is wearing. People wearing uniforms, school clothes, modest clothing, or even casual everyday outfits have experienced the same violence.
This reality proves that clothing is not the determining factor. The real factors are attitudes toward power, gender, and respect.This is why conversations about gender equality and respect are so important today. Instead of teaching people to constantly adjust their clothing to avoid danger, society must focus on teaching respect, empathy, and accountability. People must learn that every individual deserves dignity and safety, regardless of how they dress. When responsibility is placed where it truly belongs—on those who commit harmful acts—society can begin to move toward real change.Faith, culture, and social values all play a role in shaping how people think about these issues. However, when interpreted thoughtfully, many teachings—including those found in the Bible—actually support the idea of personal responsibility and respect for others. Jesus’ message reminds us that the problem begins in the heart and mind of a person who chooses to objectify or harm someone else. That message challenges victim-blaming and calls for a deeper level of accountability.
In the end, the question should not be “What were you wearing?” Instead, the question should be, “Why do some people think it is acceptable to harm others?” When society shifts the focus from the victim to the behavior of the offender, we begin to understand the real issue. Clothing has never been the cause of sexual violence. Respect, self-control, and the way we treat one another are what truly matter. Only when these values become stronger in our communities can we begin to reduce the violence and injustice that so many people continue to face today.
𝕮𝖔𝖕𝖞𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙
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