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TW: Mental breakdown. Reader discretion is advised.
Cold sweat. Heartbeat drummed in her ears. But most definitely, hot tears. She gasped, opening her eyes to the dark room. Her family, gone.
Thexan was gone.
All of the intense events seemed too real to be a dream. Seeing the man she loved on the brink of death, his evil twin's attempt on her life, and the words from her mother; it all strained her emotional capacity. She wiped away the tears, eyes flitted towards the window to a breaking dawn. Her body wanted more sleep, but she was too agitated for it.
She got up, then sat at the small dining table with her arms covering her head. Even Chonky was still sleeping.
"We hope to see you again someday, sister. If you need us, we're always here for you."
Words from her brother's mouth that echoed her mother's stance. A strong part of her wanted to take them up on that offer. It had been lonely since Serrus was sent back to Zakuul. But was that real? It might just be a dream after all, and her pride barred her from any sort of reconciliation.
She decided to let it go, giving herself more time alone for her mental state.
The ride home from the rescue mission was quiet for the twins. Even though they were technically sleeping through it all, it was exhausting nonetheless. Riornivo noticed his twin's frown fixated on his chest; the moment of his brush with death seemingly looped in his brother's mind. The Sith didn't even notice that his twin's hand was already grasping his arm.
"Red? I'm okay, it doesn't hurt anymore," smiled Riornivo reassuringly. "I'm more worried about you. How are you feeling now?"
"Why? Nothing happened to me."
There was a slight pause from the younger twin. "You did just fight the two ... and he was controlling you-"
Rionnic scoffed. "You think I need him to still prove my point to them? To you? Perhaps you enjoyed her treatment towards you but when it directly involved me–I'll have a different say about it."
"Not now, Red."
"Exactly. Not now, not ever. It's useless anyways."
Effortlessly souring most situations was becoming Rionnic's speciality, even though his words held some measure of truth. Both twins then glanced at the shuttle pilot who happened to be Lana, undoubtedly in the most awkward position. Their conversation concealed just enough to keep it vague, but Lana hazarded a guess about the subject. Rather than prying into it, she broke the tense silence by suggesting both twins rest. They offered no resistance to that.
Back at the base, little Rian eased up the rigid atmosphere with his energy. Rionnic was back to his automated brain pattern of paperwork, sweeping the concern over his twin under the rug for the moment. Riornivo however, was worried about someone else.
His twin tried to kill her, after all.
His meditation was disrupted by a familiar but serene energy, emerging unexpectedly. His eyes were wide from trying to find the source, calling out; “ Father? ”
There he was, appearing behind his stepson. The half-Arkanian man stood unwavering, taking Rio back to his younger days of being a padawan under his tutelage. It was the first time ever that he appeared since his death years ago. Riornivo’s eyes welled and his chest tightened with how much he missed him.
“Hmm.” The very first action his stepfather did was placing his ghostly hand on the wounded chest. It shocked Rio with a freezing sensation as his wound reacted to the touch. He took a moment to regain his breath upon flinching.
"Father… it's been so long."
"The war did a number on you. I can't keep letting you bottle it up while relying on the Force to help."
Those words were his personal burden, exposed by his stepfather. His head hung low, instantly feeling vulnerable and humbled. "But I had so much help from the others. I haven't been going through this alone, father."
"Yet your heart remains unfulfilled. I know what's been going on. I have much to say about it, but I know you too well to gauge your reaction."
The Barsen’thor was quiet. Stepfather’s words always rung true in the end, regardless of how unorthodox or upsetting it was to hear. He braced himself for an incoming heartburn inflicted by his stepfather's wisdom .
"We always want the best for the ones we love. What we think is the best might not be the case for them. What they think they want might not be the best for them. Sometimes, staying in that uncertainty is the way to go," as the silver-haired man sat next to his stepson. "I followed my heart. I got what I wanted. But was it truly the best for her? No one can answer that… ultimately, our circumstances were different than yours. Always balance the outcome accordingly."
Cryptic as he was, his stepson fully understood what he meant. Both of them traded stories and knowledge until it was time for the late Jedi to leave. Riornivo begged and pleaded for his stepfather to stay. He only received a hair ruffling as the Force Spirit faded away, like old times.
The encounter left him pondering the lesson he was just taught.
A few hours later, there was a knock on his door. Vyria appeared with an unusual expression on her face: calmness. "I sensed Dad. Wasn't sure to barge in between you two. Privacy and all."
"Didn't he appear to you?"
"No."
Immediately, Rio felt bad for his sister. He pulled her in for a hug, apologizing for nothing. When asked about his condition, he assured her of his well being. He was expecting her to ask about the topic of his conversation with their father, but surprisingly there was none of that. He regretted not mentioning Vyria to their father just then.
"Don't be. Let's go outside, you've been in here for how long already?"
The siblings went to the gorge with the wooden steps made from cut tree logs, where Satele used to train Rio not too long ago. It was also the place where the former Grandmaster projected herself via the Force to thank her student for the rescue. The subject of Theron came up between them, which led to Rio suggesting she dedicate more time for her son. Satele agreed.
"Gonna stretch out these joints for a bit. Not recommended for you though, bad for your wound."
And Rio was content with just watching his sister practice her lightsaber forms on top of those wooden steps. His mind however, did not join him there. Father's words trumped over the supposedly historic event of defeating the Emperor once and for all. It felt as if something was still unfinished, somehow.
Vaylin's shuttle landed on the lands of Ord Mantell. She only gave herself a few days of rest before the urge to tend to the unresolved overwhelmed her. Without wasting time, she headed towards the place where she slaughtered the Knights and dueled her mother. There was an obscure memorial in the shape of a plasteel box with flowers inside. Her steps felt heavier as she could sense all of the anguish and desperation in the last moments of their lives. In a crashing wave, remorse weakened her knees, constricted her chest, blurred her vision, and took her back to her child self where she first caved in the Knight's armor into themselves during a training session. How she crippled one when she was even younger for the smallest mistake.
It felt as if she was breaking her chains in Nathema all over again, but somehow worse without the physical pain.
The world started spinning. She fell into a prostrating position, eyes to the ground in an attempt to minimize the distortion. Sobs without tears, but the agony was real. But the most damning thing was how she still failed to grasp the true meaning behind this remorse. Was she there only for herself or for the people she murdered?
She collapsed into unconsciousness, alone and exhausted.
Yet another dream. Birds chirped as the sun spots rocked back and forth by the tree shade, waking her up to a fair day. Next to her was the man she was pining for. Seeing his pretty smile for her was such a relief after the breakdown just then. She reached out to him, needy and vulnerable. His embrace was warm and wholesome; it was exactly what she needed.
But suddenly she was shoved then pushed away with the Force.
After she got back up, the man turned into his evil twin. With a wicked smile, he dashed in a crimson streak as his lightsaber viciously skewered her.
Even in her dreams, trauma followed her everywhere. She woke up screaming in a small bedroom, which meant that someone had brought her there. The anxiety ridden day seemed to never end. Caution set to maximum, she left the bed while examining her surroundings. A plate of fresh fruits, bread and water was her only companion in that room. Consuming them helped alleviate some of her bad nerves. Slowly opening the door, she found out how empty the house was except for a letter on the coffee table.
My dear Vaylin,
I found you passed out alone on that site… you look drained. I won't ask why you were here, but I hope you're going to be fine. If you want to see me, stay there. If you've already left when I return, I fully understand. I love you.
Always yours,
Mother.
Strangely, the letter brought comfort instead of worsening her anxiety. She huffed. Of course, there was always a possibility of her mother being there. She sat down, weighing the choices that were presented, leaning more towards leaving. What would they even talk about if they met? It was more of a question of how the conversation would go because she had so much to say, and she knew her mother did too. Not wanting a repeat of the penthouse incident, she pocketed the letter as she proceeded to leave.
Unfortunately, Senya returned just as she stepped out of the house.
"Vaylin… how are you?"
No answer but a frown. She finally replied without eye contact. "Leaving."
Senya wilted upon hearing that, but nodded in acceptance. Her eyes followed her departing daughter, but widened upon the young woman stopping, then turning around. “Did… did anyone else see me?”
“I don’t think so.”
Vaylin quickly turned away again, and her tongue idle despite wanting to ask her next question. While her mother stayed quiet to not risk saying the wrong things.
“What are you doing here?”
The former Knight took the question as an opening, proceeding to answer it while still keeping her guard up. "I was on my way to babysit your nieces, but made a stop here to… pay my respects. Did you know you have twin nieces now?"
Again, Vaylin was quiet. She had been wanting to meet her baby nieces ever since she first laid eyes on them by the holovid. Would she emerge the victor in the struggle of demolishing her walls enough to verbalize her intention?
“Would you… want to see them?”
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