#sassy deadpool

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

Peter: So tell me, what’s it like to live in a constant haze of stupidity?

Wade: Pretty great really...oh shiny rock!

Peter:...God I love him.

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

MJ: I wish I had the ability to make men really nervous.

Wade: Holding a really sharp knife to their neck normally does the trick for me.

Peter: As a man, I can confirm that this makes me really fucking nervous.

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

Tony: *fixing something* Peter, I don’t want you hanging round Wade anymore.

Peter: Well, why not?

Tony: I just get a weird~

Wade, from inside the vents: Yeah, why not?

Tony: AHh GoD nO!

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

Peter: Hey Tony, do you reckon I could fit fifteen Marshmallows in my mouth?

Tony: You are a menace to society.

Wade: And a coward. Do twenty.

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

Peter: This is a mistake.

Wade: One we can laugh about later.

Peter: But not today.

Wade: Oh no, today is gonna be a mess.

[who-fucking-knows-at-this-point]

*Peter stumbling into the kitchen*

Peter: Where is the glorious hot bean juice I require to live.

Peter: Give me the bean juice Wade.

Wade: Okay first of all you have spent far to much time with Stark.

Wade: Second, I vote we never call coffee bean juice again.

Wade: And third, it’s on the counter babyboy.

Peter: Your a god Wade.

[obsessionsaside]

Has anyone made this yet? Caaauuusssseee

[redbirds-n-sweetgrass]

The Minny merc is displeased

Can we just take a moment to freak out over the lack of dead pool stuff the official marvel website has !? Like C'MON!!!