#incorrect spiderman quotes

[headcanonthings]

[karmaspidr]

Spider-Man Brand New Day Spoilers!!!

*During a Mystique infiltration of the X-Mansion*

Scott: How do I know you're the real Jean?

Jean: I mean, I could tell you what number you're thinking off or...

Scott: What was your first kiss?

Jean: ...you think it's you in the Danger Room, but it was actually Spider-Man on a rooftop while possessing his ex.

Scott: ...

Jean: He was really good at it, too.

[ramen8008]

Peter: Mr. stark can I borrow 2500 dollars?

Tony: Yeah sure but what's it for?

Peter: ...an escape room

Tony: what kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars??

Peter: ...prison

[i-a-q]

Peter: So… if you were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?

Tony: *without hesitation* A clubhouse, obviously. And you?

Peter: I’d probably be a peanut butter and jelly.

Tony: Of course, you would.

[thesomehero-dude]

Tony: So today I learned that peter has me in his cellphone as "Mr Irondad "

Clint: *shrugs* Could be worse. Wanda and Pietro have each other down as "spare parts"

[1luna1lovegood1]

Peter: *does something stupid*

Bucky : ( who dare dared him to do said stupid thing ) what an absolute fucking idiot

Tony: ( came into the room as Peter started do the dare) I can't believe I'd die for him

[venominomenon]

Deadpool about Venom and Eddie Brock: Actually, I would encourage them to have more children.

Daredevil: What

Spider-man: Why would you do that?!

Deadpool: 'cause I'm such a controversial figure.

[spideyswebfluid]

Guys legit is Peter Parker x Spider-Man kinda toxic Yaoi ???

Cause like think abt it, Peter basically sells glorified sexy selfies of his ‘friend’ fighting for money to a boss who HATES Spider-Man and they’re still together ???

Not only that but if you ask around a bit and stalk peters socials (Ik weird) he’s basically CHEATING ON SPIDER-MAN W SOME CHICK NAMED MJ ?? can’t blame him tho she kinda… 😍😍

But its mutual toxic yaoi cause istg I’ve seen Spider-Man be to close with a few superheroes… a bit TOO close to be not a little… yk… on our month too…

(That’s right I see u Deadpool and Spider-Man eating on the roof)

That’s right him and human torch aren’t slick I’ve seen that come meet me at our special place spidey message ON FIRE on the streets of ny

And you basically never seen them in the same room together ?? Even tho everyone knows they’re dating… like cmon Peter how did u get those closeups of Spider-Man ??

Idk gang like are they couple goals or are they couple donts ? One things for sure they’re pretty hot together !