So, since I have nothing else to do besides procrastinating on writing, here’s a list of shitty prompt-esque things I’ve gathered from the clusterfuck that is my book. Enjoy. Feel free to change pronouns as needed
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1: "Ugh, fine. Thirty for that weird (Russian)-sounding name I can't pronounce."
2: “She’s tired, which makes her rather easily angered. She threw her pencil case at me the other day."
3: The first thing she thought was Damn, she's hot. The next thing she thought was dammit, a crime scene is not the time or place to remember how fucking gay you are.
4: "Hey, dumbass, you do know I'm at a crime scene right?"
5: “Fine, I'll give you a hint; it's not in the house.” “Why do you hate me?”
6: "You can't make me.” "You wanna fucking bet? Because I will drag you out of here and to your apartment if that what it takes." *Name*, sweetie, you're 5'2". I doubt you'd be able to pick me up."
7: "How'd you even make Detective in the first place?" "A smile and some good luck."
8: If anyone is in there, please don't let them be taking a shit.
9: "Because you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have come back."
10: "Wait, you don't mean the con-artist one, do you?" "*Name* was the only guy I've ever dated, so yeah. Him."
11: "You're a con-artist and a scammer. I'd trust the media before I'd trust a thief. How sure?"
12: Hmm. He's actually using his brain for once.
13: "Why do I have the feeling the owner of this place is using it as a front?" "It probably is, honestly."
14: "I’m a thief. If I can break into a house, I can sure as hell get out a pair of handcuffs."
15: "Oh, you two should really check your surrounds more often. If I'd been out to kill you, you'd be dead.
16: "Less fine now.” “Well, you can't shoot him just yet."
18: "Good morning." “Why the fuck are you so chipper this morning?”
19: "How'd you do it?" “Coffee, Redbull, and spite.”
20: "I'm not coming home just to make some breakfast just so you can steal half of it."
21: She didn't want her beauty sleep to be interrupted by the sun rising over the roofs as a spider appears randomly in the shower about to crawl up your ass saying "Sup motherfuckers" at three am.
22: "Ugh, fine, but at least let me finish my damn croissant.”
23: "So, like, on a scale of one to ten, how likely is this guy going to be to shoot us, with ten being trigger-happy and one being he probably won't even notice us."
24: "Shot?!" "Relax, it was just a flesh wound.”
25: “*Name*! What the fuck did you do to my room while I away?!" “Shit, I forgot about that.”
26: "What's he doing?" "Realizing that he's bisexual." "Fucking finally. Took him long enough.”
27: "I'm just here to cause a little trouble, that's all."
28: *Character B puts their arm around Character B’s waist* I want to break *character B’s pronoun* fucking arm.
29: “He got clipped, and he's really pissed about it." "I would be too if I got shot by the same guy twice within the past week.”
30: "Alright, fine, but hand me the knife. I am not having you destroy my house while drunk."
31: "That's a stupid reason."
32: “Wait! You forgot your pocket knife!" “Bring it to the bar!” “I don’t think I can, dumbass!”
33: "You know, you guys are my faaavorite people to be sleep deprived with.”
34: "Are you insulting my shortness?" *Deadpans* “Yes.”
35: "You know, have you ever tried stardust?"
36: "Well, if you like fish swimming up into your shorts to poke at your bare-naked legs, then yeah, that was a blast"
37: "I'm a drunk little shit." “Gee, ya think?”
38: "I can cry with you too. Better to cry with others than alone, right?"
39: That morning, *name* came into the station with two cups of coffee and murder in his/her/their eyes.
40: "Am I the only one here with a regular sleep schedule?" *everyone else in room* “Yes!”
41: "Our earth is full of life, such as the little frog or you and me. I want you to remember that no matter the circumstances, always try to treat every living thing with respect, from the smallest ant to the largest bird. From the kind to the mean to the weird and wacky. Every living thing deserves respect."
42: “Why is the bunsen burner on?” "Oh, I was making some s'mores 'cause I was hungry.”
43: "Do you really hate me that much?" “You lied to me. I don’t like liars or traitors.”
44: "You do know I'm sleeping, right?" “Not anymore.”
45: "You come in here just to tell me that?"
46: "Just... shut up and drink the damn milkshake.”
47: "We're on a stakeout, not a honeymoon." “That doesn’t mean we can’t stay in a hotel.”
48: “Ugh, that sounds like a lot of work.” "Well, that's your problem, not mine.”
49: “What the hell are you doing here?”
50: “Can I get out of these cuffs now?” “No.”
well anyways time for me to fucking go to bed
