I’ve always hated the term, “as long as you’re doing the best you can.” I never really knew why until I started thinking about it more, and realized it’s because it’s such a subjective statement.
As someone who always as a child felt the need to do perfect, and impress everyone, and get people’s praise, you put so much pressure on yourself when you hear something like that. A child can’t analyze a phrase like I’m doing now, so they just internalize it and think, “okay, so do the best I can do... I know I could make 100 on that test but I have to study longer and not watch tv tonight. That’s the best I can do. My mom wants me to do that, I’ll do it.” I know people saying things to kids a lot of times don’t really think about how things can be translated in their mind. It’s so important to know a child’s personality, and to think about if something could be taken different before you say it, or explain it in depth if you do say it. I would honestly say the ladder is better though because they’ll probably hear it somewhere else anyway, like from a teacher.
I’ve realized now as an adult that sometimes the best you can do, is not worry about it, and come back to it later. The best you can do isn’t a number score on paper, it’s taking care of yourself first. It’s realizing when you need to give yourself a little extra attention, or an moment, and doing it. Without a healthy mindset, you can’t expect anything to feel right. This is something I’m really working on now. You don’t have to impress people with what you’re doing, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. And don’t expect a reaction from someone, because it’ll only lead to disappointment when it’s not what you thought would happen. Keep loving what you’re doing, that’s so much more important than, “doing your best.”
