I have this dick of a bully who picks on one of my main characters. The thing is she’s a twin, and her twin brother is loved by everyone while she kinda gets “Lloyd Garmadon from Ninjago Movie” treatment unless her brother is around, then she’s included in things begrudgingly and at the bare minimum.
Anyway, the Bully I need help with sees my MC and says “Hey Guys, look! It’s the Foreground Freak! Hey, Freak, what did you draw this time?!”
I feel this is too fake and scripted. I wanna have something natural and would maybe sound like a “joke” but the way the bully says it it’s clear it’s not a joke.
MC is walking with her friends and twin brother when this happens and the Twin Brother wants to step in but doesn’t because the bully and MC say it’s just a joke. Mainly because bully has said he’d make bullying worse for her and even start targeting her friends and brother if she tells anyone including them (even though he doesn’t really hide it that well.)
Anyway I don’t know if I wanna keep the taunting and insult or change it. If anyone has anything I’m all ears, I’m rusty in writing and I might need a bit of help lol
Prompt: In a Flash CC hosted by @flash-exchange - July 2024: Screenplay Challenge
A/N: My entry for this round of the challenge! It is my first time writing and sharing a screenplay-style story, I hope you'll enjoy it. Big thank you's to @lorei-writes and @the12thnightproject for the beta reads, direction, and encouragement!
Additional Notes: Story will be released in 3 parts, all as reblogs to the same post. Slug line/setting is written in red. Staging is written in italics. Dialogue is written below the speaker's name.
Part I
INT. CLAVIS’S WORKSHOP — MORNING
Drawn curtains cover the room in grainy darkness. Still visible; a complete mess. A snoring figure hunches over his cluttered desk, protectively clutching one end of a curious long, wooden contraption. This is CLAVIS (15), inventor, trouble-maker, self-proclaimed genius.
A loud BOOM sounds outside.
Clavis jolts awake.
CLAVIS
Chevalier did it!!
He reaches underneath the desk for his sword, then halts partway. Embarrassed, he re-sheathes the sword and shakes his head to clear it when a second BOOM interrupts him.
He crosses through the mess of raw materials and half-finished inventions to open the curtains. Heavy storm clouds swirl in the sky, making him shudder.
Squeaky whimpers from a box on the couch catch his attention. He swims through more rubbish to reach it and carefully lifts the lid.
CLAVIS (softly)
Good morning, my friends. I trust you slept well?
Pained squeaks respond.
CLAVIS
I know, I know. I can’t sleep during storms either. But fret not! I guarantee good dreams tonight. That’s my promise to you as the Third Prince.
He thumps his fist on his chest. The squeaks continue.
CLAVIS
Oh, I appreciate the concern, but I cannot allow you to join me. Try and get some more sleep and be rested for the big surprise when I return. Farewell, for now.
He blows a kiss into the box and closes the lid. Another BOOM of thunder rolls as he snatches a striped blanket from one of the piles and covers the same wooden contraption from atop the desk he slept on. He carefully heaves it under his arm and heads for the door.
Before he leaves he pauses in front of a mirror, fixes his bedhead, and puts on a dazzling smile.
INT. PALACE CORRIDOR — MORNING
Clavis sprints through the corridor. Servants gasp when they spot him, dropping plates and laundry baskets and clinging to the walls in fear as he passes.
Clavis ignores them. He is almost at the main entrance when a purposeful whip CRACKS at his feet. He skids to a stop, protectively covering the contraption, and looks up, annoyed.
CLAVIS
Woke up on the wrong side of the coffin, Four-Eyes?
Reveal SARIEL (20) from behind a pillar; tall, strict, and perfectly coiffed. He coils his whip into uniform loops then straightens his glasses. Not amused.
SARIEL
Why is it that every interaction we have begins with you mocking either my age or my appearance?
CLAVIS
Your hearing going, old man? Quite sure I did both. Not either. I should get a reward for efficiency! HAHAHAHA!
Sariel poises his whip for another attack but keeps his calm.
SARIEL
At this point, eternal rest would be the greatest reward imaginable.
CLAVIS
Well, don’t let me keep you from it.
SARIEL
Would that I dream of a peaceful afterlife, I am positive you of all people will find some way to rob me of it even beyond the grave.
CLAVIS
You flatter me, grandpa.
More thunder rumbles.
CLAVIS (cont.)
Send me the address, I’ll be sure to pencil you in my gravedigging calendar another day.
Clavis tries to sidestep to the door, but Sariel gets there first. The whip CRACKS mere inches from Clavis’s nose.
CLAVIS
You know, the proper action when a prince is heading out is to hold the door for him.
Sariel readies his whip again and blocks the doorway.
SARIEL
The proper action when a fool attempts to run headfirst into a storm is to keep out of his way. Unfortunately, it is still only drizzling.
This is supposed to be a call for the camera to angle “on a character named Dick” (idk why people have that name), but the way the screenplay reads is just……… interesting…
