hahaha ty ty ty! tbh itâs been a little bit nerve wracking but also very freeing to try shit like that out! honestly shit like this helps bc sometimes I worry so much about if people will get prescriptive with who i am because of the makeup/style/etc. things Iâd like to post...but it helps thinking that i can do whatever is âmeâ and not only does it obliterate ranmaru, but it wouldnât like...turn into him drawing conclusions about what i *actually* am or that it disqualifies me from the words I think fit me, you know? just some authentic-ass demolishing here, folksÂ
Scribble-Doodle: No Fairytale Ending, No Happy End
A Malec ficlet set after 310. Catarina saves Alecâs life. And yet.
In the end, itâs Catarina who saves Alec.
When Magnus calls her from Alecâs cell phone, sheâs reluctant to come, Lorenzoâs warning still fresh in her mind, but thereâs something in Magnusâ voice, something that tells her that the situationâs truly dire, her dear friend wouldnât call her otherwise. And so she comes and she almost weeps at what she finds: Magnus without his powers and Alec dying.
She teleports them all to Magnusâ loft and there she heals Alec, removing the arrow from his chest while Magnus holds his loverâs hand, his heart breaking at not being able to take Alecâs pain away. So Alec lives, but as with all Shadowhunter tales, this one doesnât have a fairy tale ending, thereâs no happy end.
Catarina holds the arrow so that they can see it, Alec sitting up in his and Magnusâ bed, propped up on a small mountain of pillows, an ugly scar on his chest, and Magnus right there, beside him, still holding his left hand tight, like a lifeline. And Catarina shows them where the problem lies: the arrowâs broken off tip, the tiny sliver of adamas thatâs gone - still stuck in Alecâs chest, shifting, shifting, shifting ever closer to his heart with each breath he takes.
âWhy canât you just remove it?â Magnus asks and heâs not accusing, thereâs no blame, just dread and the fear of loss yet to come.
Sighing, Catarina sets the arrow aside. âWhen Jace used his stele on Alec, to stop his bleeding, he saved his life, he closed the worst of the wound and gave him a fighting chance - but Alecâs tissue, it grew around the broken of piece, it enclosed it tight. And if I tried to remove it nowâŠâ She shakes her head. âIt would kill him, instantly, because itâs too close to his heart.â
âBut-but what youâre saying is that itâll kill Alec anyway,â Magnus points out, now desperate and despairing. âMaybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually, itâll reach his heart and itâll kill him. Isnât that so?â He squeezes Alecâs hand so hard his knuckles turn white and his eyes, no longer cat-like, turn wide and pleading.
This will never be something Catarina will get used to, not even after decades of working in hospitals, giving bad news to the loved ones of people in her care. âYes,â she replies quietly and honestly, sheâs never been one for lying. âEventually, it will kill Alec.â
Silence settles over the room and the both of them, Magnus and Catarina, they turn to Alec who has yet to say a word. He sits there, his face unreadable, eyes down. Then, as he takes a deep breath, a slight grimace flickers over his features and he lifts his right hand to rub at the fresh scar: the adamas sliver shifted, sending a sharp, stabbing pain through his chest.
âAlexander,â Magnus whisper in a voice thick with emotions.
And Alec turns to him and smiles, lifting their linked hands to his lips and kissing the back of Magnusâ hand. âIâm alright, nothing I canât take. Iâve had worse than that,â he assures Magnus but the lie doesnât make Magnus feel any better.
So Alec drops the brave face and lets them see just how exhausted he is and how much it hurts and he says in a low voice, looking from Magnus to Catarina and back, âWe keep this a secret, alright? They donât need to know, my family. They have enough problems to deal with. And I especially donât want Jace to know, he would blame himself when there was nothing he couldâve done differently, it was a no-win situation.â
He shakes his head. âLike Catarina said, thereâs nothing that can be done. One day thisâ --he rubs at his chest again-- âwill kill me. Or tomorrow I might die at the hands of a demon. I was taught my whole life long that a Shadowhunterâs life was about sacrifice. Well, I guess this will be mine.â
âNo,â Magnus says, shaking his head. âNo, weâll find a way to fix this. Thereâs always a way. As long as thereâs life, thereâs hope, Alexander,â he insists, face set, and then he pulls their linked hands closer and presses his cheek against the back of Alecâs hand, closing his eyes.
Alec pauses for a moment, then smiling again, he says, âAlright.â
But when he glances Catarinaâs way, she knows the truth, she can see it in his eyes. Alec doesnât believe it. He doesnât believe he can be saved. But for his lover, for Magnus, he will pretend.
I finally looked up a way to make scanned drawings into digitally colorable lineart, so I colored half of this clockwork angels doodle I did on the back of a math worksheet and then stopped. Maybe I'll pick it up later
Gemini - How alike are the both of you? How different are you? How do these things effect your dynamic?
i love making diagrams iâm sorry LOL. I think it evens out, though -- I actually got a long history of being good with more blunt and abraisive people bc Iâm so much more easygoing while still being super opinionated, and his straightforwardness evens out the chaotic, unfocused brainlessness I get up to, haha. The similarities help make those differences cooperating a lot easier, tho, since weâre both such driven, idealistic professional creatives, and thereâs nothing more important to either of us than doing good with our respective art! Thereâs always that respect there and very innately understood, you know? That goes a long way when it comes to negotiating where those differences could conflict. Â
Leo - Whatâs something either of you have done thatâs made the other proud? What about disappointed?
