his side, her side | 11:11 A.M.
genre: angst/fluff/implied smut;
pairing: reader x jungkook;
length: 3.1k;
synopsis: a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be.
a/n: alternatively: his side, her side pt. 10;
her side;
“So do you like him or not?”
This must be the first time someone, besides yourself, has ever raised suspicions at your blossoming fondness for a particular man. The last time you had questioned your affections was at the pinnacle of a relation you’ve so desperately attempted to smother. You can still recall the pull of his magnetic force, his hands on your cheeks, and the way the touch of his lips are enough to envelop you with warmth, even whilst in the midst of a pool at midnight. Your feelings for him were confirmed then, it’s unequivocal; and despite burying such an epiphany after all these weeks, your heart still grows tender over a memory you wish had never existed in the first place.
“What?” you turn to give Yezi the most bewildered face you could muster just as you plop your hamper onto the floor. “Like who?”
Your friend glares at you with her crossed arms and deadpans, “you know who I mean and if I need to say his name aloud for you to answer, you bet I will.”
Knowing full well just how seriously Yezi takes her words, your eyes bulge at her bold proclamations before frantically scanning the laundry room of your apartment for possible witnesses. Just as you’re about to exhale in relief, your friend follows through with her promise a level or two higher than you would have liked.
“Wait, Yezi—”
“—Jungkook! Your colleague, your ex partner! Jeon Jungkook!” she throws her arms up. “Do you like him or what?”
“Shh,” you almost jab a finger at her mouth and hiss, “are you trying to start rumors about me at work?”
“Well, no, but it doesn’t matter if they’re not true, right?” she somehow manages to say with your fingers pressed against her squished lips. “Why have you been avoiding him lately anyways?”
“What do you mean I’ve been avoiding him?” The crease of your brows is the best look of disbelief you could gather. “I haven’t been avoiding him.”
Her chest heaves as she lets out a frustrated sigh, “oh, really?”
It isn’t much of a surprise to you that Yezi could see right through you. Typically, after all the training you’ve undergone at pretending to get along with your coworkers, you’ve done an adequate job at masking your organic thoughts; but ever since you met him, Jeon Jungkook, you’ve caught yourself slipping up more than you would like. From genuine laughter to unapologetic cackles, from daring staring challenges to bashful peeks through the corners of your eyes, and from greeting him whenever you had the chance to going out of your way to avoid him at all costs, any fool could tell your affections for the man has changed with time. Whether the change is for the better or worse, Yezi couldn’t tell because not even you could explain it yourself.
If Yezi knew you had attempted to cover your face as you crossed paths with Jungkook only for your pitiful efforts to be in vain when he calls your name out wide into the open because you were shy, she would have made fun of you. If she knew you had almost completely turned around while going up the stairs because you spotted him climbing down the stairs only for him to call out to you once again and for you to freeze because you noticed just how well his new ear piercing suited him, she would have rightfully suspected your growing infatuation; but if she were to discover you had meticulously planned out your paths at work in order to avoid the man of such admirations, she would have never understood your logic.
The only conclusion you could surmise of your seemingly contradicting actions would have been a dreadful punishment to have to say aloud: you’ve never been the unconfident type before, but to put it simply, the boy is just too gorgeous for you to be unfazed...
...and luckily, you don’t have to explain yourself, because the second reasoning behind your complexity has arrived.
“Hey Y/N, are you using that washer?”
She knows your name…? Jennie? Of all people?
“Oh, uh,” you snap out of your thoughts and nod, “yeah, I am. Sorry.”
“No, that’s fine,” she presses her lips into a tight, small smile, “I’ll come back later.”
And with that, the girl gently shuts the door behind her and the silence left behind is almost as if she had never entered before. Turning to glance at each other, you and your friend are nearly at a loss for words over the sudden appearance of the very person you had been on the lookout for; but before you could switch the topic, Yezi beats you to it.
“Since when did she know your name?”
“I don’t know. Never talked to her before,” you blink blankly, barely able to mumble as you proceed to squat to floor level and insert a quarter into the washer, “I didn’t even know she lived in this complex.”
“Neither did I,” Yezi leans against the machine as she warily observes your every expression before proceeding, “do you think the rumors about… him… and her are true?”
Shit—you think to yourself, even as you try to conceal the sudden restriction in your chest—who knew even the thought of them two together could make you feel like this.
“Jennie, just listen—”
—the two of you turn heads to find Jungkook at the doorway; and while Yezi walks up to confront him, you quickly whip your head around and position your back on him in a desperate attempt to hide your presence… because out of all times and places, your crush just has to appear in your apartment complex with you in your most vulnerable, unseen state, bare-faced and in your pajamas.
Not to mention, how are you supposed to hide the dreadful drop in your stomach that wrings you dry? Why is he here? And why is he calling out to Jennie?
“Jennie actually just left,” you can hear Yezi’s voice fading into the distance as she exits the room, “here, in this direction, over heeere.”
...and finally, when the door clicks closed and you internally finish thanking Yezi for her efforts in luring the boy elsewhere, you let out a bated breath. Without having to worry about your untidy appearance, you toss the remainder of your panties, bras, and bright pink pillowcases into the washer. Standing to your feet and heaving a sigh of relief as you watch the washer dispense heaps of water onto your undergarments, you whirl around and—
“—hey—”
“—holy shit,” you almost yelp when you find Jungkook standing right before you, pressing his lips into a crooked smile at you. Why does he always have to go out of his way to seek you out? And even though you had been fussing over your appearance just a few seconds prior, you find yourself frozen and distracted by his presence once again. Today, you’re blaming that mustard sweater of his; because even though he tends to stray from colors outside of navy, gray, white, and black, the boy had somehow made mustard his color. All you can muster is a wide-eye and an uttered, “whoa.”
The boy lowers his eyes to glance at his own sweater, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. Looking back at it now, you should have explicitly complimented him instead; but before you could snap out of your frenzy and save yourself from the guilt, Jungkook persists, “how has life been for you?”
“Huh? Life?” you repeat. Oh, right, what else is there to talk about now that you two are no longer acquainted at work? Then why is he trying to strike up a conversation? You hope to God he won’t be mentioning the kiss on that particular night. “I mean, good, I guess. What about you?”
“Really? ‘Good?’” he scrunches his brows and cracks a grin of disbelief. “I guess I’m asking the wrong person.”
“What?” you can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips. “What do you mean?”
“It hasn’t been too great for me,” he buries his hands into his pockets and grins helplessly. “Work and life, I mean. I’ve fucked up at both.”
“Oh… really? I’m sure it’ll be okay—” for the first time, less words come to you than the boy before you “—why are you here? You don’t live here.”
“How do you know that?” he raises a brow.
“Because you told me you live on the other side of the bridge.”
“Oh, I did?” he chuckles. “Why can’t I be here?”
“Not saying you can’t—” because, really, you’re more concerned over the possible relations between him and the girl who had “coincidentally” entered just seconds prior “—I was just asking.”
“You own this whole complex?” he quips, cocking a wry grin at you. “Can’t I hang out with some friends?”
“Right, friends…” you mutter to yourself, even if you don’t believe it yourself. “No, go right ahead. I’m not stopping you.”
The faded smiles and playful bickers, however, ring a different tone from your last remark. It’s almost as if Jungkook could read right through you. The tension, the distrust, and the discomfort, nothing has been the same since that particular moment. Sure, you had obviously been avoiding him because of your bashful nature and you’re sure that even he could tell from your abrupt movements, albeit his awareness of your reasons is more than likely nonexistent, but his relations to not only Jennie but to Jieun and his reluctance to disclose said relations has you boarding up walls once again.
To be led on by a man would be the demise of your pride—the very last thing you’re holding onto; and whilst there was a moment in time when you thought two could play at such games, your heart has betrayed you and the tides have turned against your favor.
“Y/N,” Jungkook begins firmly, “about that night—”
“—weren’t you looking for a friend?” you cut him off, pressing a thin smile as he glances at you with a raised brow. “What was her name again? Jennie?”
The boy only stares at you for a silent ten seconds. Confusion and conflict flashes across his eyes until, finally, he settles for a helpless competence. “Yeah,” he utters, taking a step back and nodding, “I’ll see you around, then.”
It was the dirtiest card you could pull. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you’re in the right. It doesn’t mean you’re proud of it… but, sometimes, the best trump to win a futile game of tag is a refusal to play at all.
This just happens to be one of those pivotal moments.
Glancing at the remaining countdown on the washer and checking the clock on your phone, you almost laugh at the coincidental time plastered across the screen.
11:11 A.M.
And you wish he never realizes that your refusal to play is, in fact, a confession of love.
-
his side;
“So do you like her or not?”
Unfazed by Jennie’s outburst, Jungkook simply answers, “what does that have to do with you losing your shit?”
“I am not,” she spits, pointing an accusing finger at him, “losing my shit.”
“Then why talk shit about me to Jieun?”
Jennie pauses in her tracks, eyes lowering to the floor covered in Jungkook’s clothes. Her voice comes out meekly, “...she told you?”
“No shit,” he remarks, catching the t-shirt he had lent Jennie as she hurls it at him. “Why do you hate me all of a sudden?”
“Does it matter if I hate you?” she rebuttals as she balls up another tee and tosses it at his face with a huff. The girl persists on her mission without a single glance at the boy towering beside her. “Do you even care what I think of you?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Her hands pause and she mutters, “don’t say that when you don’t mean it,” before continuing to sort through her pile of clothes intermixed with his.
“I don’t get it,” he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Didn’t we both agree this would be a casual thing? You went on dates and I was okay with it—”
“—I didn’t!” she abruptly cuts herself off, scrunching his gray tee in her hands until her hands turn pale. “...I didn’t want you to be okay with it.”
“Jennie…” Jungkook considers consoling her but she shifts her body away from him. “Sorry. I thought you were over this—”
“—I was over this!” she snaps, whirling around to reveal the scowl on her face as she hurls another sweater at him. “I was over us! And I was okay with you moving onto Jieun until one day, she comes to my front door and bawls her eyes out because you did a one-eighty just like you did with me. Is it because of her, Jungkook? Why does it always have to be her?”
Jungkook says flatly, “Jieun and I were never dating,”
“I said,” Jennie bites her tongue to repress her anger, “was. it. because. of. Y/N?”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise to Jennie when the boy remains silent with those unreadable eyes of his. Jungkook’s choice to protect her, however, only fuels the fire. He can’t choose to protect Y/N and expect Jennie to act as if nothing had happened between him and her; but when he finally answers...
“It isn’t Y/N’s fault. I should’ve figured things out beforehand. Sorry.”
...his reluctance to blame her scapegoat and willingness to assume accountability infuriates Jennie to a level she never knew she could harbor toward Jungkook. She knows she doesn’t deserve an apology and she knows Jungkook still felt slightly remorseful despite knowing full well that their relations were born of nothing but lust; and yet, it’s the only thing she craves that could quell the emerald fire within her.
“And what about Jieun?” she speaks under her breath. “What about leading her on?”
“I fucked up. I know that,” he utters. “I apologized to her.”
“Whatever…” she sighs the remainder of tension pent up in her system as she stands to her feet and tosses the last gym shorts at his chest, eyes narrowing and lips downturning when she spots the irregular shade of his hoodie.
“What?” the boy chuckles. “You think this looks shitty too? Remind me to burn this shit when I get home.”
“Did Y/N say it looks shitty?” Jennie asks, arching a brow. “Does she even like you?”
The grin on his face gradually blends into his usual illegible look of apathy as he states, “...no. Probably not.”
To which question he’s answering, Jennie would rather not ask. Instead, she places a hand on his chest, gently pushing him step by step in the direction of her bed with each following remark.
“Are you still with Jieun?”
Step. The answer is clear.
“Do you remember all the fun nights we’ve had?”
Step. He doesn’t answer.
“Does Y/N even like you?”
Step. Neither of them knew the answer. Finally, the back of his knees hit the bedframe and Jennie gently seats him to the ledge of her mattress where the two had spent many nights together in her long-coveted past. One hand on the mattress beside where he sits and the other hand pressed against his chest, Jennie stirs on.
“You know, we could forget anything ever happened and return to the way things were before. I could forgive you, you could move on, I could wear your sweaters again, and you could spend your nights with me whenever you’re feeling down. We could be together, you and me,” she coos but something about her voice comes across as a plea. The unfazed beat of his heart beating against her hand almost has her clutching the sweater in self-pity. Her voice nearly cracks as she persists, “you know how I feel about you, don’t you?”
Not a second passes before Jungkook firmly shakes his head, peering his eyes up at the woman and speaking straight from his heart, “you’ve been a great friend and I don’t want to lose that, but I don’t feel the same. Sorry.”
“You’re—” Jennie suddenly retracts her hand, standing upright and taking a step back with a constrained huff “—whatever. Have fun with her if that’s what makes you happy, but you’ll regret this.”
Jungkook frowns as he helplessly watches the departure of a friend he had shared countless nights with, occasionally indulging in their beneficial relations and other times counting on her to bear his midnight blues. He might not have felt the spark that he experiences around Y/N, but Jennie had been his friend all along. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere,” Jennie shrugs without a single glance back at Jungkook, “anywhere away from you, really.”
To sacrifice one friend in pursuit of someone whomst, from all he could tell, has no intentions of reciprocating similar convictions, he can’t help but feel as though everyone has abandoned him. The worst part of it is, he doesn’t know who else to blame but himself.
Junghyun [11:55 A.M.] Yo you interested in a blind date?
The boy rolls his eyes at his brother’s ill-timed proposition.
You [11:55 A.M.] The fuck. No.
Junghyun [11:56 A.M.] Okay, I know you hate strangers, but TECHNICALLY this isn’t a blind date. Jieun wanted me to set up a dinner with you for her…
You [11:57 A.M.] ?
You [11:59 A.M.] If she asked you this last week, then forget it. We aren’t a thing anymore.
Junghyun [12:00 P.M.] No, she begged me just yesterday. She said she wants to start over.
Junghyun [12:00 P.M.] C’mon, just one dinner?
Junghyun [12:01 P.M.] Just cause you messed things up with her, doesn’t mean you should mess up my friendship with her! >:(
Staring at the texts on his screen, Jungkook fiddles with his phone until finally falling backwards and collapsing onto the bed with a loud sigh. He can still remember the wrath painted across Jennie’s expression during her uproar and the pain he had inflicted upon Jieun when he confessed he had not intended to have led her on; but most predominantly, the evident discomfort on Y/N’s face when she had avoided him in the past month or when he had mentioned their shared moment of intimacy still stains his mind hours after.
The mere thought of hurting her the same way he must have hurt Jennie and Jieun evokes more gnawing pain against his chest than he ever thought he would experience. Realizing that he would never hear a more explicit rejection to his confession has him lingering onto a hope that he has more than now recognized as fruitless.
Maybe a new start would be the best choice.
Not only for him but for her, too.
You [12:15 P.M.] Fine
