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We Thought We’d Got Rid of Them?!: An Interview with Amanda Overton

A long, long time ago, way before any of you were brought into this world, dinosaurs roamed the earth underneath our feet and Amanda Overton, our guest for this interview, wandered the halls of Hogwarts. During our interview - seated among busying students crowded within Hogsmeade - Ms. Overton reminded us of the awe-inspiring Quidditch team that Slytherin once possessed, starkly contrasting the depressing state of this new era. Listen up, Slytherin Quidditch Team, we are dedicating this to you. ————————– Q: Good afternoon, Ms Overton. Thank you once again for meeting with us today. Please, for the benefit of our readers who don’t know, could you tell us about what you’ve been up to since you left Hogwarts 17 years ago? A: Has it been that long!? The Quidditch fanatics reading this will know my history but for those who don’t follow Quidditch or only have started following the game recently, I signed with the Falmouth Falcons as a chaser almost immediately after graduation. My start was a bit shaky but I managed to start consistently on the first team after a year or so and I’ve enjoyed a long and successful playing career since then. Eleven years ago I transferred to the Appleby Arrows when they made an offer too good to refuse. That was when I had my daughter, Cadence, who will be starting Hogwarts next year! I’m a regular on the English National Quidditch Team too and have played in World Cups over the years. I’ve also been working with some wonderful foundations such as ‘Quidditch For All’ which provides brooms and other supplies to low income wizarding communities to establish local Little League teams. It also provides scholarships for promising young Quidditch players to Quidditch summer camps. I received a few scholarships while I was at Hogwarts and I’m forever grateful as it helped me perfect my skills and meet many players that I looked up to. Eventually I got the chance to play with them too! That was wonderful and I’m not sure I’d be what I am today if not for Quidditch For All. Q: Sounds like a busy life! Let’s get right down to business: have you recently had a chance to revisit your alma mater - or, more specifically, watch some of the Quidditch games at Hogwarts? A: Ah, I can’t remember the last time I was at Hogwarts to catch a game - I’ve been fairly busy over the last few years but I want to say I last caught a game about two years ago? That sounds about right. Even if I can’t attend the games I still follow Slytherin Quidditch religiously. Q: With every year comes an endless wave of ups and downs; Slytherin Quidditch was hardly spared from a vicious cycle of downs while facing a startling run of losses in recent years. As a former Quidditch player, and one who was in the team when Slytherin won the cup for two consecutive years, what are your thoughts on this? A: It happens to every team but I know Slytherin's players will return to their former glory. It’s not their first time in this situation and it always ends in the same way - victory for Slytherin. The current team features a lot of younger players which is great for the future and I’m sure that we’ll start winning the cup again soon enough! The worst thing you can do to a team you support is to lose hope because it affects the team’s morale when their friends and classmates mock them. Keep attending the games and show your Slytherin house spirit! Q: New captains Henry Chamberlain and Norda Tawni seem determined to end Slytherin’s losing streak, and understandably so. Is there any advice you would like to give them? Precautions and warnings about the returned spirit of Sheffield haunting them in their sleep if they fail, perhaps? A: Like I just mentioned, they’ve got a team full of promising youngsters which means a great future. Keep practicing and focus on development. Scout for new talent - I suggest discreetly watching Flying classes as it can help you find future superstars. Q: That’s great advice. We also understand that numerous members of the current Slytherin team aspire to enter the world of professional Quidditch upon graduation. Is it difficult to make it as a professional player? Can you give these players any advice on how to get there? A: It can be difficult, yes but never give up on your dreams. Try to attend the summer camps - if you there are many scholarships that you can apply for if you can't afford the fees. At the camps you’ll get a chance to perfect your skills and meet influential figures within professional leagues around the world! Never stop practicing, I spent almost all of my free time when I was a student on the pitch either practicing or scouting other houses. Q: Wonderful. And finally, do you have any idea what you’d like to pursue when your highly successful career as a professional Quidditch player draws to a close? A: I’d like to keep with Quidditch For All and possibly get into an administrative role for a professional team. I’d like to see how the other side operates, since there’s so much work that goes into a team. It’s not just the players and managers that bring success to the team - it’s the people working behind the scenes too. Q: Thank you for your time, Ms. Overton. It has been a pleasure interviewing you. A: Thank you for reaching out to me for an interview! Getting sorted into Slytherin was one of the best things ever to happen to me so I enjoy giving back to the house when I can. written by Asia Chadwick and Sebastian Snyder, with Amanda Overton

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Slytherin Spotlight: Abigail Goodfellow

Slytherin Spotlight articles are dedicated to showing off some of our housemates' achievements to all of Slytherin house. For our first article we're looking at one of The Parselmouth's star writers, first year Abigail Goodfellow, who has been having quite an impact on Hogwarts since she first arrived at school. From throwing herself into all sorts of new things to writing an extremely interesting column for The Parselmouth about muggle inventions, Abby is certainly somebody who is worthy of everyone's attention. Enjoy! -------------------------- Q: Hey, Abby! Thanks for taking the time to let us interview you. First of all, can you tell us a bit about yourself? Your likes and dislikes - that sort of thing? Just for the readers who might not know who you are yet. A: Hi! And of course, I wasn't really gonna say no. This is a pretty awesome opportunity. I'm a twin - most people know Finch, too, and he's in Gryffindor. I like dueling and Quidditch but also trying out new stuff, like knocking my shoes off with the knockback jinx. It takes a while to do that, did'ya know? And I don't like strawberries but that's cause I'm horribly allergic. Q: Great! So, we chose to feature you in this Slytherin Spotlight because of the fantastic job you’ve been doing for The Parselmouth so far. Your articles are really great and you are doing brilliantly for a first year. What made you want to write for us when you were sorted into Slytherin last term? A: Thanks! I'm really happy to hear that, really. I wanted to write for the paper because - well, at home, Muggles have the Internet and Finch and I are awfully connected and we share a lot there. So I figured if there's no Internet at Hogwarts, the Slytherin paper's the next best thing. Q: Comparing The Parselmouth with WiFi seems a little far-fetched, but okay! So - your article is called ‘Abby vs. Magic’ and looks at how outdated some magical things are in comparison to alternative muggle methods. What has made you have such a strong opinion on this matter? A: I was raised as a Muggle, y'see. Da's a, uh, what's the word? Squab or squib or whatever it is - means he's magical but hasn't got magic. So he married a Muggle when we were young and we got raised like regular, non-magic folks. Course I was excited to learn magic's real and all that, but then we get here and it's like living in the Dark Ages, communicating with owls and parchment. Mostly I was frustrated with having to use ink and parchment cause they're awful. Q: That’s really interesting. Also, we know you’ve already written about school supplies and technology in your articles - but is there one particular muggle invention that you feel more strongly about than all the others? A: I think mobiles -- mentioned them in the technology article, I think. Muggles have gone from having those rotator phones to having these touchscreen mobiles that do everything and I love mine, it makes life so much easier, but I can't use it cause magic messes with the tech inside it. Q: Brilliant. And finally, do you have any advice for students who might be struggling to deal with Hogwarts’ lack of muggle technologies or inventions? A: Just power through, I think. For now, anyways. Distractions from the fact that I can't check my Twitter have helped me. Plus the tech will be there when we get back, but even better probably, so it's a silver lining to cling to. Q: That’s great advice, thank you Abby. And thanks again for letting us interview you! It’s been a pleasure. A: No problem! Have a good day! written by Asia Chadwick and Sebastian Snyder, with Abigail Goodfellow

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We Thought We’d Got Rid of Them?!: An Interview with Adora Crawford

Adora Crawford. The name ought to ring more than a few bells and, as a student clad in green and silver, it is imperative that you know the former prefect and the legacy she has left behind. A dueling prodigy, Ms. Crawford is a figure you want fighting on your side, not against. Following the fateful events that concluded last year, here at The Parselmouth we have taken a moment to address the important issue of self-defense. Joining us over tea in Hogsmeade, Ms. Crawford took time out of her busy schedule managing her very own dueling gym to offer some valuable advice you would be wise to follow. -------------------------- Q: Nice to meet you, Ms. Crawford. Thank you for taking the time to have this interview with us. A: My pleasure, Mr. Snyder and Miss Chadwick. Q: How have you been all these years post-graduation? A: I’ve been very well, thank you. I spent the first six months after my graduation in Germany, learning as much as I could from some of the country’s top dueling coaches. It was an extremely valuable experience, to say the very least. Even if I’ve since managed to outskill all of them. Q: That's very impressive! Now, we’re sure life has been keeping you busy, especially with a dueling gym to manage. Would you mind telling us more about that? A: Well, three of the coaches I met in Germany decided to come and visit me in England not long after I returned home. They seemed to like it here so I offered to find them accommodation and, once they’d each obtained the relevant visa, we decided to set up the gym to offer our dueling expertise to other people. The majority of our business is one-on-one sessions with adults but we also offer beginner classes for ten to eleven year olds on Saturdays. Obviously we don’t teach them actual magic, just the theory and basics of dueling in preparation for their start at whichever magic school they’ve been accepted to. We’ve recently started to offer self-defense classes, following the unfortunate events that occurred at Hogwarts last year, and in July we’re also intending to run our first six week summer camp for seventeen and eighteen year old students who are considering pursuing a professional dueling career. It’s a very time-consuming but extremely rewarding job. Q: And speaking of events that transpired at your alma mater last year, what were your thoughts when you heard about the news? A: I wish I could tell you that my first thought was one of utter shock, but it was most certainly not. The events of last year do not represent the first time Headmaster Weasley couldn’t prevent an unfortunate incident taking place within Hogwarts’ boundaries - for example, the deaths of both Professors Ferne and Roth and the kidnapping of over a dozen students midway through my fourth year also occurred under his name. His disappearance over the summer is perhaps the best thing that has happened to Hogwarts school in recent years. Q: Indeed, we have heard much of them since the incident as well. At the moment, while Weasley has been removed from his post, many remain with their fingers pointed at the Aurors on their apparent inefficiency, given the insufficient speed of the rescue. Others believe that if students had been better trained in defending themselves in these situations, we might have been able to avoid such disastrous consequences. As an expert in this area, and a non-Auror who can offer an objective judgement, do you have any tips you could share with us on self-defense? A: At the end of the day, an individual has to be sufficiently motivated to react to an attacker in an efficient and effective manner. From what I’ve heard about the students who were attacked by their classmates, however, it appears that the majority of Hogwarts’ pupils are hesitant to defend themselves against their peers. To put it another way, the students who were unable to defend themselves were too overcome by their own pathetic emotions to react effectively - and this is disappointing, especially when it also applies to Slytherin students. Thus, I would offer the following advice - trust no one. If somebody puts you in danger, no matter who they are, you must treat them as the sole threat to your life in that moment. A ‘friend’ who is trying to physically harm you is no friend, only an attacker. And as for the fate experienced by Miss Ward, a similar point applies. Do not allow fear to compromise your existence, no matter how terrifying the creature you’re facing may be. Q: And for the sake of our younger readers, what would you advise if they encounter someone, or something, much stronger than they can manage? A: Whether a person feels motivated to fight or flee is entirely dependent on the situation they’re facing. But, as I’ve already said, you should never show fear. Most creatures of both magical and non-magical nature can smell fear on a person. Likewise, human attackers are often motivated to continue when they sense that their target is scared. Fear is, like emotion, a weakness. Then again, isn’t this interview for a newspaper which is only ever seen by Slytherin eyes? I would expect members of the noble house of Slytherin to understand this already. Q: Finally, with regards to your success in dueling, are there any dueling routines you live by that you would recommend for someone who would like to follow in your footsteps? A: I’m hesitant to answer this question with a long-winded explanation of several dueling strategies which might or might not help a multitude of individuals. As far as I’m concerned, students who are looking into pursuing a professional dueling career, or indeed taking a step up from that and pursuing a career in coaching professional duelists like me, need to experience failure in order to understand success. If you want to be successful, try ten different methods of learning the same spell. In failing at four and finding that one of the other six took less time than the others, you’ve found your method for learning spells for life. Also, don’t be afraid to try something new and unorthodox that your classmates think you’re mad for even considering. If it doesn’t work for them it might still work better for you. Q: That’s great advice. I think that’s all we have to ask for now. Thank you once again for joining us, Ms. Crawford. A: Not a problem, you two. And to anybody with the correct composition of blood who might be reading this, do feel free to contact me with any questions you might have about dueling or self-defense. written by Asia Chadwick and Sebastian Snyder, with Adora Crawford 

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Meet the Professors - Part Two: James, Carter and Maesson

Hello again, Slytherins! We know you've been itching to read more about our fabulous Professors, so next up in our Meet the Professors series are Professors James and Carter and Mr. Maesson! PROFESSOR JAMES If there are two things about Professor James I think we can all agree on, it is that she's: 1. A bit of a mystery lady, and 2. Scary as bludgers. She's certainly not as transparent as, say, Professor Urguy, whose intentions (for a bloke that communicates in grunts) are fairly intelligible. And I dare any one person who has spent so much as five minutes with Professor James to deny her seemingly uncanny ability to read minds (actually, while uncommon, that ability would be called legilimency - but let’s not jump the wand here, folks, regardless of what the rumors may say). Aside from the above, Professor James is also notorious for her beauty - which is likely to strike a man (or woman) more venomously than a basilisk with 20/20 vision. She is the former head of the James Library and Wizarding Research Institute, which certain unnamed individuals might not mind working for in the future. She is the Dark Lady of Potions, perhaps even comparable to Severus Snape himself (but probably not). If you have ever found yourself admiring those legs of hers (I know I have) then I have two words for you: Quidditch Captain. Some claim that she used to be some sort of dueling Duchess back in the day, but these sources aren’t the most reliable. Still, less credible sources have provided me with a series of amusing but outrageous statements regarding their favorite Professor. Let’s just say this: ever wondered what Voldemort’s boggart was? PROFESSOR CARTER There are few words in the English language that would be appropriate enough to describe our mysterious substitute, Professor Carter. Some describe him as handsome, while others are quick to point out his receding hairline. Some describe him as highly dangerous, though we can assume his intimidating persona may relate to a strong dislike of children. Speaking of, we know that Professor Carter is the father of seventh year Slytherin prefect Isabella Carter, and is the rumored father of Magnus Carter - a Gryffindor, hence why it's merely a rumor. Other than that, however, we at The Parselmouth know very little about this Professor. Well, we do know one thing. But that's classified... MR. MAESSON For those who had forgotten the insignificance that is often seen prancing around the Quidditch pitch, understand this: we do not blame you. But please, do allow us to jog your memory out of nothing more than sheer obligation; he is part of Slytherin, after all. When it comes to Mr. Maesson, the simplest way to commit his presence to your memory is to first envision a centaur-esque unicorn. Now tone down on the remarkable characteristics of both creatures, include a few more ridges and folds of slackened skin around the areas of his eyes and neck and there you have it - the residential 'nyan cat' of Hogwarts. Starry-eyed students have often claimed that his skin sparkles in the sunlight but, here at The Parselmouth, we have discovered the truth: that's just his perspiration from thinking too hard about what to have for lunch. Careful not to hurt yourself, Mr. Maesson. Apart from his physical appearance, Mr. Maesson is also known for his flying lessons in the first year and term of your very own academic life and, despite everything, the most commendable achievement in his career remains to be his miniscule number of deaths. When not required around Hogwarts' grounds, Mr. Maesson can sometimes be spotted lending his expertise in Quidditch by announcing at games for various professional leagues. While official documents indicated 'single' for marital status, we believe Youdle - his beloved crup - may be more than just a pet. And on that note, we conclude our profile on Mr. Maesson. Sorry to break your hearts there, ladies (and gentlemen). ————————– Our final part of the Meet the Professors series, including none other than Professors Urguy and Mendelssohn, will appear inside the common room very soon. written by Vaughn Knightly, Asia Chadwick and Sebastian Snyder