#self improvment

[okaydrawboy]

sometimes I forget how much I've improved in my art and then I see this re-draw and its very apparent

[doll-eyed-doe]

There isnt anything I actually regret doing. Of course I would do some stuff differently if I could but theres nothing I would go back and change now. All of what has happened to me had made me all of what I am and I love who I am. For the most part anyway and I try to treat her with as much respect as anyone deserves.

This goes for everyone. No one is perfect. No one is beyond repair and I can say it gets better even if it feel like your mind is whats wrong.

[nessiecasa]

Autistic, neurodivergent, queer, BIPOC, and disabled folks absorb a lot of information from our environment — and much of this amounts to immobilization and silencing. Rather than shame myself for coping and surviving, I can acknowledge and appreciate just how adaptable and resilient I am. And once I do that, I can use my wisdom, strengths, and badassery to make sure no other person has to go through what I have.

Read more about this on my Substack, On the Flyway!

Image description: Branches and twigs with a gray sky behind. Text says: Aversion to action is my sharp and precious tool for self-protection. Nessie. @nessiecasa

About me:

I'm Nessie! I'm a writer with a love for veggies, birds, the ocean, the sky, silence, songs on repeat, rest, my pup, connecting the dots, and mouthing off. I write about my life as an autistic, neurodivergent, disabled, queer, and latina girlie in memoir-ish chapters on my Substack, On the Flyway.

🕊️liberate🕊️liberate🕊️liberate🕊️liberate🕊️liberate🕊️liberate🕊️

Follow me on all other socials @ nessiecasa.

All photos and words are from me.

[hillbillyoracle]

Fuck Goals: Floor, Range, and Ceiling

Since my other Fuck Goals post resonated with so many people, I wanted to pass along another way of thinking about things I want to do repeatedly in a way that’s helped me - floor, range, and ceiling. 

Floor

The floor is your bare minimum that “counts”. This should be just above what you’re currently doing and if what you’re currently doing is nothing, it better be small. When setting up any habit tracker (app or analog) the floor should be what you set up and what counts toward a streak. 

Now I know what you might be thinking - “But that’s not what I actually want to do.” That’s fair, but you can’t build from none and you can’t build from some. So giving credit to doing just a little bit more is way more encouraging on days you feel like fucking crap, than doing what you set out to do. Some is so much better than none. Some deserves to count. 

Range

A nice round number is not a good thing to shoot for in my opinion. A range is much more realistic and satisfying. You can indulge in the activity rather than being bound to it. It being just another task on your to do list can really make it less enjoyable to maintain over the long term. Most people who do repeated activities everyday aren’t doing it the exact same way each time and it’s nice to mimic that naturalness early on. 

The range still needs to be realistic. Ideally it should be something you can hit more days than you don’t in a given week. If you can’t, then you’ll need to adjust it down. 

Ceiling

Ceiling is the part I don’t see a lot of people talk about. I set my ceilings at a point where I know if I go much over that, I will super not want to do the activity again the next day. I have to have a cut off point or my own enthusiasm will burn me out harder than anything else. I want to leave off where I’m excited to pick up the activity again the next day, not when I did it for as long as I wanted and now I’ve lost my taste for it. 

Sometimes this takes experimentation. If you set a floor and a range and then find yourself falling off of the wagon after you’ve been excitedly over doing it for a while - that’s an indication to set a ceiling lower than whatever the last day you were feeling good about it involved. 

Example: Steps

I was bedbound on and off for a few years and when I was finally walking again, I had some painful muscle atrophy to contend with so I wanted to make walking a regular thing for me as much as possible. At the time I was getting about 300-500 steps a day. I lived in a rough neighborhood so I knew all my walking would likely need to be done inside if I was going to feel safe enough to do it regularly so I didn’t want to set too high a step goal since walking inside tends to take longer. 

So I set my first floor at 1k steps a day and range within 2.5k - 3k. This was honestly a little ambitious but I consistently tried to over shoot it because my “actual” goal in my head was 10k steps. When I looked at days after when I was falling off - I’d usually gone over 5k so 5k became the ceiling.

And it stayed that way for many months. I’d fall off and adjust stuff downward but eventually I was consistently getting 1k steps and more days than not getting steps between 3k-5k. 

I really resented my step goal being 1k honestly. I didn’t always look forward to tapping the 1k button on my habit tracker. But on hard days is when I started to appreciate immensely that I still got credit for something. Plus I knew I’d gone over on the days I had. I didn’t need micro validation from an app to tell me that was good.

Around that time we moved and I had a safer environment to walk in. So I bumped it up. I kept 1k as my floor but I made around 5k steps the range and 7k the ceiling. That was a bit of a rough transition and it involved me really having to experiment with routines to make that happen so I’m glad I didn’t raise my floor any during that time. 

As I figured out my routines, I realize I was hitting 5k more days than I wasn’t so I bumped up my floor to 3k. 

Now - about 14 months from when I started doing this seriously, 5k is my floor and 8k - 10k is my range. ~12k is my ceiling at the moment. I don’t know that I have much inclination to do more but the best part about it is that it’s designed for maintenance. 5k is what I can reliably do even on tough days and it will count, I won’t lose my thread. And that will motivate me to keep going indefinitely or at least it has so far. 

I was sick the other day and had to drop down to 5k - before I would have just taken a day off and gotten thrown off but even when I’m having trouble I can get 5k now. It feels like a dream. 

Conclusion

This doesn’t just apply to fitness habits though. Want to start a reading habit? 5 minutes floor, 20-30 minute range, 1 hour ceiling. Or whatever makes sense where you’re at. Wanna declutter your house? 5 minute floor, 15-20 range, 1 hour ceiling. You get the picture. Whatever it is you want to do, set these posts to keep you on the track. Adjust them up only based on what you’re actually getting done over 3-6 weeks at a time. Adjust them down as needed. 

Oh and this can be used for decreasing behaviors too. Say you’re trying to reduce how much time you spend on social media. Maybe 15 minutes less per day is your floor. 1-2 hours less is your range, and 5 days without checking it is your ceiling. 

Remember - something is so much better than nothing. Even very little steps in the direction you want to go will eventually get you closer to where you want to be. You got this! 

[honestheartrealisation]

Its never too late to sort your life out.... it will be too late though, if you don't realise it needs sorting out....

[soospiritualjourney]

Realign and rework direction and focus

1. Think of the most meaningful moments in your life

What made them meaningful to you? Who were you with? What were you doing? Everyone has got their definition of what 'meaning' is for them. But it usually involves moments where you were in peace of mind and filled with a sense of where you belong in this world.

Parents experience this during their child's birth, first steps, and first words. You might experience it at work when you’re using your skills to do something important for your team. Or with a friend who needs a listening ear through a hard time and know your words resonate with them. 

As you list your meaningful moments, a theme should emerge. This will point to your direction and focus.

2. Think of the moments you felt the least satisfied

This is similar to the above. But this time, you imagine the opposite. What were some of your bad life experiences? What qualities made them unfulfilling to you? What were you doing? How were other people's attitude toward you?

You might feel unfulfilled at work if the organisation doesn't value your work. Mismatched values and focus in a relationship might leave you feeling unfulfilled too.

3. Pay attention to what stories inspire you

When you read what is happening in the world around you, see if any articles catch your attention. Look for people whose actions you admire or respect. Think about why their actions resonate with you and what that means for you.

4. Imagine your ideal world

If you had the power to reshape the world, what would it look like? Think of how you would put yourself out there, the services you’d like to provide, how the collective would treat each other, and what activities they would join in to make the world a better place.

It’s good to understand your values, know what you want and know the direction you want your life to head towards but they mean nothing without action. Action always speaks louder than words.

[noxican]

One year of improvement!!!