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Stop chasing perfection

As a society we are obsessed with improvement which leads to perfection; our mind keep wandering to achieve perfection in everything we do. We get bogged down because of the desire to be perfect human. This burdens us ironically and it is a major cause of unhappiness. How do we define perfection?

At first, we might think that trying to be prefect is desirable. Let’s take a deeper look at that belief. Perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects. Seeking perfection at a particular task might be achievable and certainly individuals can strive to attain a perfect salary, perfect job or a perfect home. Yet, the goal of being perfect in life is altogether a different story.

A machine or electronic device may operate perfectly; at least for a while. Yet, over time it will begin to wear down and require repair. I believe the notion of perfection can be attached to machines and not men. Perfection lies in the paradigm of Newton’s mechanistic universe, not the humans. How can we expect humans to be perfect? Perfection was never expected from humans. Human are imperfectly perfect – that’s the definition of being human. Consider the expression, “I’m just a human.” We need to remind ourselves the goal isn’t to emulate a machine, but to accept the imperfection of being human. The quest for perfection is the root of discontent.

We all want the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect body, the perfect looks, the perfect spouse, perfect children……..and who decides what is perfect and what is not? Secondly, remember that there is always going to be that someone out there who is better than us. So we find somebody more intelligent than us, we find somebody more attractive, someone happier, somebody richer, brighter so on. Why should we focus on what everyone else has and what we do not? Instead, we should focus on improving ourselves in the so called weaker areas. There are always going to be things about my job which others will keep telling me to improve. And, there is no yardstick to count how much I have improved.....Read more

#artofperfecting #Perfect #perfectworld #perfectionism #selfcontent

What’s up with u young angels✨, and ima tell u a secret👁 of how to have more power✨ in life, yunsayin If u wanna have more power✨ in life U gotta become self satisfied yunsayin U gotta be able to make ur own self happy u feel me, If u ken make ur own self happy then u will be complete and u will never be a slave or a feen for others ppl company u feel me A lot of ppl can’t satisfy theyself and a lot of ppl can’t stand to be alone with theyself And The key to self love♥️, and having power✨ , and being the most high✨ , is being self content and self satisfied “ - God Kenny Sparks✨ #DaMostHigh✨ #SelfLove #SelfContent #SelfSatisfied #FreeDom #Empowerment #Motivation #Progression #Philosophy #Kenology✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/BszLW0QFfoF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11n2a16xa0rk

#damosthigh✨#selflove #selfcontent #selfsatisfied #freedom #empowerment #motivation #progression #philosophy #kenology✨

#behappy😊 #selfcontent

#selfcontent #behappy😊

She doesn't get close anymore. "If you see me with a guy, I'm using him." And whatever is left that makes her happy, if you destroy it, she becomes distant, alone in solitude, gladly in darkness. Her warmth is only enough for herself. Creating something else other than you to make her happy.

#solo girl #solitude #selfcontent

Selfish V.S Selfull

If it doesn’t feel good with your soul, LET IT GO!!!- Ophaney Jay

This year I decided to write a vision board for my room wall. I had titled it “My 2016 World”; I wrote 12 quotes that would be my daily ritual, so that my 2016 would be full of joy and positivity. To my surprise these quotes have helped me a lot with expressing how I feel and being fearless. I read these quotes to myself everyday (Well I try) lol as a reminder that life is a blessing and not to stress the little things out. The quote above written by me is one of my favorite because it set the tone for my day. It always reminds me to be loyal to myself. Growing up I often heard that being selfish wasn’t a good trait. That these acts will delivery you right to hell lmaoo. I’m pretty sure all of us could relate to hearing this idea once in our lives. So as we grow up we do exactly what our parents tell us to do, give to the world but never learning how to receive from the world. No one taught me the difference between being selfish and learning how to listen to the soul(Selfull). Don’t get me wrong, giving is a way of life (give,give,GIVE!) but when does it turn into self-sabotaging? Trust me there is a big gap when it comes to the two lol but luckily I have come to understand the difference. Here are some examples that has taught me the difference between the two

1. Selfish: Giving all you can to the world but not giving to yourself. Now there is nothing wrong with helping others but once it becomes overwhelming and starts interfering with your own life negatively. Something has to change. Sometimes we give more than we can emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. Either you want to be that worker that helps everyone, even though you have a shit load of work piling up or that family member that’s trying to keep the family together but your own life is falling apart. When do you say to yourself enough is enough? Start asking yourself what am I giving to this person /what are they going to use it for/ is this harming me in any way? Focus on how much time and energy you can give to something or someone. Remember you can give as much as you want or as little as you want because you’re living life for yourself. (The last line does not pertain to your children. I have yet to become a parent lol)

Selfull: Making sure your glass is full so that people can drink from it. People that enjoy their own life can give more. You can’t help anyone that’s thirsty with an empty cup, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRY! The more water your cup has the more you can give. However, you first have to find the water by yourself and drink it to see if it’s even good. When people have are confident about their water it no longer feels like “it’s the right thing to do” but you know this stuff works, so you now want to share. Remember you can only pour as much water as you have, nothing more.So choose wisely.

2.Selfish:Staying in a relationship where you know you’re betraying yourself.To betray yourself is the ultimate level of disloyalty. People get so caught up with wanted to show that they are a “ride or die” or don’t want to hurt someone because they know that person truly loves them. (I been in both those situation, I know it isn’t easy) This could be a lover, a parent, friend, sibling, etc. We often live life wanting to please people or to be like. Nothing is wrong with any of those things but the problem occurs when you’re not confident with your own judgment. Your soul is telling you it’s time for change, you and so & so is growing apart but you stay because it’s comfortable or you want to prove to the person you’ll stay no matter how unhappy you are. This isn’t compromising.(Please try your best to understand the next few lines) When you compromise it’s a genuine action, it’s beneficial to BOTH OF YOU GUYS! You guys are BOTH HAPPY with the goals it will eventually turn out to be. However, staying in a relationship where you know it’s toxic is selfish to yourself because you’re not allowing new to come into your life, so that you can learn more and grow more. To grow as a person, you need to accept changes otherwise only your age will be the only thing that changes.

Selfull: Giving yourself time to know who you are. Once you know who you are as a person, NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. You’ll always ask yourself if you are happy in any situation. You put your positive emotions (Joy, peace, love. Etc) first. For example: Is this person/situation contributing to the type of peace I want for my life? If your answer is no to your question….then my friend you are betraying yourself.

3.Selfish: Doing something that you know you don’t enjoy doing. I still don’t understand why people do this to themselves. It’s okay to not like the “normal things” and it okay to like the “normal things”. That’s the beauty of life: We’re all different. Do what makes your souls truly happy. Soul happiness is when you overcome all your pains, triggers, low energies, self-hatred emotions and you’re able to just do what you love freely.

Selfull: Doing whatever you please despite other people opinions on it. As long as your soul is happy that’s all that matters.

Don’t wait till next year to do a vision board. Do it now! Do one for the month of November and see how it goes. I suggest letting one of the quotes be “If it doesn’t feel good with the soul, LET IT GO!!!!”Every time you read this quote it will help you question your loyalty to yourself. Try it out,your soul deserves these Life Lessons.

XoXo Ophaney Jay

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Happy 2016! This year is all about building a #movement of #powerful #strong #confident #selfcontent #women! So after training my #kickass clients, I had to give myself some #selfcare too! #tabata 20sec on 10sec off, 6 rounds of: Kettlebell lunge swings, Single leg rollback/pistols, Jgxt dips, Atomic sit-ups, Kneeling kip up tuck jumps, Pull-ups, Pullovers, Single arm Kettlebell swing/high pull/snatch 5:5:5. #liveepicbeepic #trainhybrid (at Epic Headquarters Nyc)