I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q.
Now, I'm no Ernest Vincent Wright, so I couldn't possibly fathom writing a 50,000 word book that does not contain the letter E. But in reading an excerpt from the writing, one thing stood out - there were numerous fallbacks to idioms, cliches, quotes, less common terms and nicknames, in order to say or express something that would otherwise have contained an E. It's a cheeky trick, but it's not as if there was a specific rule to abide by.
Nonetheless, the challenge set forth was for me to tell a story without using the letter E. I'd probably have an easier time building a sandcastl-- sandbuilding without using a pale.
Anyway, here goes...
Durga's Dil3mma
Th3r3 onc3 was a cat nam3d Durga, who on a cold and dark night 3scap3d th3 confin3s of h3r hom3. Sh3'd n3v3r b33n to th3 outsid3 world fr33 from all shackl3s, and so it was vast and wondrous to h3r 3y3s. Sh3 kn3w sh3 had tim3 to 3xplor3 b3for3 h3r own3r would com3 s3arching. So sh3 snuck around hith3r and thith3r, to and fro. Sh3 hugg3d th3 bush lin3 towards th3 long str3tch of pav3m3nt sh3'd s33n from th3 porch insid3 h3r hom3. It was cool, and hard to th3 touch.
Sh3 s3t out, slowly st3pping, paw by paw, away from th3 soft grass and land sh3'd always call3d hom3. Looking back sh3 saw th3 3normous structur3 sh3'd com3 from. So larg3. So many rooms. So much sh3 hadn't y3t s3t paw in.
Sudd3nly, h3r world lit up. Sh3 saw h3r shadow b3isid3 h3rs3lf, and watch3d as it slowly shrunk in towards h3r paws. A hum gr3w loud3r and loud3r until sh3 turn3d h3r h3ad and blindingly bright lights w3r3 right ov3r h3r! Sh3 spun and dodg3d out of th3 way just in tim3!
H3r h3art pound3d as sh3 crouch3d in th3 cool grass onc3 again, h3r hair standing on 3nd, claws dug into th3 dirt instinctiv3ly to 3nsur3 sh3 was low, stabl3, hidd3n and prot3ct3d. Onc3 sh3 caught h3r br3ath, sh3 r3aliz3d wh3r3 sh3 was. Sh3 was on th3 oth3r sid3.
Sh3 look3d up and saw h3r hom3, so far away on th3 oth3r sid3 of that hard, cold ground that tri3d to kill h3r. Sh3 couldn't mov3. Sh3 couldn't convinc3 h3r f33t to tak3 h3r back ov3r that land. Sh3 look3d around, and it f3lt lik3 th3 world was sudd3nly an 3n3my, with 3y3s watching from afar; as if th3 darkn3ss all around and all of that stuff sh3 hadn't y3t s33n h3ld unimaginabl3 dang3rs and 3n3mi3s.
Sh3 back3d up, and found h3rs3lf at th3 bas3 of som3 stairs, much lik3 thos3 back hom3. Sh3 climb3d up, hiding in th3 shadow of a porch, and curl3d up into a ball, facing hom3, watching and waiting for h3r own3r to com3 looking.
Th3 front door op3n3d, and sh3 saw him looking around, p33ring into th3 darkn3ss, looking l3ft and right. Sh3 want3d to mak3 a nois3, want3d to cry out "h3r3 I am!" but sh3 couldn't risk making h3rs3lf known to th3 dang3rous world. It was quit3 a dil3mma. But th3n sh3 notic3d - h3'd stopp3d s3arching. H3 was looking right at h3r.
B3for3 sh3 kn3w it, h3 had cross3d th3 dang3rous land, risking his own lif3, to com3 and tak3 h3r in his arms again, cold and scar3d, and r3turn h3r hom3 to warmth and saf3ty.
Th3y cross3d th3 land wh3r3 sh3 was almost kill3d. It wasn't so scary from up h3r3.
Back at hom3, back in th3 warmth, sh3 f3lt saf3, s3cur3, lov3d. Sh3 oft3n looks out th3 window now, ov3r wh3r3 sh3 sat huddl3d up in th3 cool darkn3ss, r3m3mb3ring that tim3 of f3ar, having fac3d th3 world fr33 from any binds, rul3s, or shackl3s. R3al fr33dom. Sh3 was glad sh3 did it though, b3caus3 now sh3 can choos3 n3v3r to do it again.
N3v3r.
