September 27th (@nosebleedclub’s prompt: what would you save from the burning house?)
what would i save
if my home & my life
were to go up in flames,
swallowing my childhood,
livelihood;
heart, soul?
dear god,
i would want to save this, & this, & this,
but it’s such a gloriously sad
concept:
us, human & animal,
clinging desperately to items
that remind us
of things we can’t get back,
things that’d mean nothing to us
if a memory or two weren’t attached to it.
what not would i save
if my home and my life
were to go up in flames,
setting fire to every bridge
that had once stood tall,
sturdy enough to, one day,
lead me down
the path of stability?
fear god,
fear god,
fear the devil.
i want to be this, & this, & this,
but i am afraid to move.
i liken myself to an animal, sometimes –
too scared to make an error,
of which would help death find me,
when the true error
is to simply remain still.
just a girl
upon my mother’s knee,
i sang (babbled, truthfully)
as the wind howled
through a body of oak trees.
i knew then
what i’d forgotten until recently:
again & again
asking questions & searching
will eventually steer you
in the correct direction,
toward root answers &
toward the hidden meaning.
i understand the world as i know it
must burn down,
and that i need to,
more than anything,
save myself.
