Prayers to the Stars (just some short Seven angst for angst enjoyers)
He had been sitting there for a while, clacking away on his keyboard. The area surrounding him was messy—empty Honey Buddha Chip bags and cans of Dr. Pepper littered the small and uncomfortable space where he’d chosen to set up his devices.
MC knew that Seven hadn’t eaten in hours. Frown lines began to crease her forehead as she stared at the back of Seven’s head. She was worried. She was so worried that—against his wishes—she found herself entering into what he’d called his “hacking bubble.” Lightly touching his shoulder, she prepared to ask him if he wanted to have dinner with her. Suddenly, she felt him shudder, and she quickly withdrew her hand, regretting her actions.
“What?” he snapped, quickly pulling down his headphones.
He did not turn around to face her.
MC flinched. In the 7 days she’d known him, he’d never once acted this coldly. There’d always been times where he’d distanced himself from her, but he’d never lashed out at her like this before. The quick change of his personality practically pushed her to the brink of tears.
Instead of asking him if he wanted to eat dinner with her, her emotions got the better of her, and the questions began to bubble up on their own.
“Why…why are you doing this? Don’t– don’t you care? About…about...me?” she asked meekly.
Seven finally whirled around, responding only with a stormy glare. She could see his figure begin to shake, but she couldn’t understand why. Was he angry? Or irritated? Trying to dispel the questions running through her mind, she continued speaking to him in a wavering voice…a voice ready to betray her at any moment.
“Seven, please, can’t you answer my ques–”
“I don’t care about your feelings, okay?! Just… stop. Stop caring about me! You don’t even know me…! Just stop…okay?”
MC’s bottom lip began to quaver. Seeing her reaction to his outburst, Seven sighed.
“Just…just let me work, MC. Leave me alone, it’s…” he trailed off, hesitating a bit.
It’s for the best, he thought to himself.
And without finishing his sentence, he turned away from her in order to hide the anguish and pain in his eyes from hers. He slipped his headphones back on, sat back down, and continued from where he’d left off, typing out the code essential for their survival. Staying focused on this task was difficult; it took all his willpower not to somehow integrate traces of MC into the code before him.
Once again, with a grimace, he silently acknowledged the secrets he’d hidden from this woman. This woman who was strong, kind, funny, beautiful…This woman he’d unwittingly fallen for over the past week.
To his surprise, he began to hear the sounds of quiet sobs muffled by his headphones. MC was crying behind him.
God…why did it have to be like this? he thought, blinking back bitter tears.
Oh, how he wished that God would answer his prayers. Before, there was only one thing in this world he wanted more than anything: for Saeran to be safe. Now, he realized with a start that he’d been subconsciously praying a new prayer along with the old one.
Please, God, I want to tell her everything. If not everything, then at least let me tell her…let me tell her that…that I… love her...
…He knew there was no easy chance for a miracle. He was too deeply convinced that his wishes weren’t meant to be granted by anyone. Not by God, not by V—
—and especially not by MC.
MC… was an angel. An angel sent from heaven to give him hope and light though his depression and darkness. He knew she could see sides of him that no one else would have ever seen, and she was entirely and utterly perfect. But he knew he wouldn’t dare taint her purity with the darkness that followed him.
No, instead, he would forever be Luciel, a man on the brink of darkness. Darkness that he couldn’t let MC fall into. His heart was in complete torment, but he tried to convince himself it would be better this way. He’d never—never—forgive himself if something happened to MC.
He really wished with all his soul that it didn’t have to end like this.
It was then he realized if things continued this way, there would be so many things MC would never know.
She would never know the guilt he felt the moment he began to distance himself from her.
She would never know how his heart broke the moment he raised his voice at her.
She would never know how desperately he wished he could wipe her tears away.
She would never know…how much he’d fallen for her.
This revelation tore his heart apart even more, and he pushed a hand to his chest in an effort to keep together the pieces within him that threatened to crumble away. He knew it would make no difference, but he did it anyway, and took a moment to feel the sad beating of his breaking heart.
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Thanks for reading!!
Lemme know if you’d like more of this type of thing! :)
- Kat
Hey @thebluerosemaiden, I’m sorry this took over a month. Hah, I nearly forgot because I was so focused on what was in my ask box. So sorry about that! Anyways, I tried my very best to make this bittersweet the way you asked. Anyways, I hope you enjoy~♡
Mc loved him. She loved him so much. She wanted nothing more than to just plant her lips on his and eradicate all of his doubts, fears and agony.
But the reality was, she could not do that.
Saeyoung was a very complex being. He had spent many years being solely devoted to his job and being connected to other people was a huge no-no.
So when he was in Rika’s apartment working on securing Mc safety and all of a sudden his brother showed up, bearing a lifetime’s worth of resentment for him caused him to completely bury his feelings for Mc and get his brother back. No matter how much he hurt anyone, Saeran was his top priority.
So he did the only thing he could think of to make Mc not like him. Hurt her. He did everything in his power to “protect” her from him. But not even Saeyoung himself could ever make Mc forget the grief he put her through.
It was quiet in the apartment, save the sound of Saeyoung’s fingers tapping rapidly against the keyboard of his laptop.
Mc was beyond bored. She could not leave the apartment with the threat of being kidnapped still out there and Seven had not been exactly kind to her since the re-appearance of his brother. Not that she blamed him, Saeyoung had just witnessed his own brother actively try to kill someone he held dear.
Mc had noted that the hacker hadn’t eaten yet and the hours of the day were passing by.
16:44.
That couldn’t be healthy. Mc decided that she would make something for herself and for Seven… just to elminate the tension that permeated throughout the apartment.
Once she prepared the simple dinner, she padded her way to where Saeyoung was hard at work. She was nervous, Seven was cold and unapproachable so coming to at least notify him of dinner caused an explosion of anxiety to circulate in Mc’s gut.
“Seven?”
No answer.
“Seven.” A little louder but still no reply.
Mc made her way towards him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. Mc could practically breathe in the distaste radiating off of Saeyoung as he was pulled from his work. Mc had to prevent herself from physically showing her pain from the blunt “what?” she recieved.
“I made dinner. Um I can bring it to you if you want.” Mc hated how vulnerable and weak she sounded. She hated the fact that this man had so much control over how she felt without even realising it.
“… I’ll eat it later.”
“Please, Seven, you haven’t eaten all day,” Mc pleaded, knowing that he wouldn’t eat later like he said.
Seven could feel the guilt settle in his stomach at his next words. “Mc I have actual problems to deal with so if you’re going to start nagging me then I’ll go to a different room and it would be in your best interest to leave me alone.”
With that, Mc turned tail and left. She only returned once with the plate of food, left it on the floor beside him and he didn’t see her again until the following day.
It was still fresh in Mc’s mind; all that he said to her. They were all the same, more or less. Each word that Seven bellowed described the entirety of his ‘hatred’ towards her.
But how was Mc supposed to know that Saeyoung didn’t actually hate her. That it was the exact opposite. She wasn’t a mind-reader.
There was no way for her to know that whenever she smiled, Seven’s heartbeat would increase by tenfold or whenever she said his name, he had to dedicate all his energy into not pouncing on her and claiming every bit of her as his own.
And because Mc was under the impression that she was bearing feelings for a man who detested her, she did the only thing she could to protect herself from a world of hurt…
And that was to slowly, but defintely surely, let go of her love for Saeyoung. Mc knew herself better than anyone and she knew that she would not be able endure the heartache that follows an unrequited love.
So it began when Saeyoung decided to go after Saeran. Instead of going with him, she opted to stay at Rika’s apartment. This was “Phase One” of moving on. Distance and time to be alone with her feelings. Seven had been so glad when Mc didn’t go along because he would not be able to live with himself if anything had happened to her.
Although he didn’t know that she spent the time he was gone crying for a lost love. A lost chance. An unknown opportunity.
“You’re not coming with me, Mc,” Seven almost spat at her. The loathing for his own being doubled as he saw a flash of pain in Mc’s eyes.
“It’s okay, Seven. I know. I’m going to stay here. I have a party to organise.”
The hacker only nodded, turning his back and then leaving. Unbeknownst to him, Mc stood behind him with a sad smile stretched across her lips. In that moment, she knew that this would be the last time she would look upon Saeyoung with the love she had for him. In the time he would be gone, she was going to sort out her emotions and not show her face to him again until all she could do was consider him a friend.
Now here she stood, ready to be reunited with her friend. And ready to meet his twin brother. It had been weeks since she had seen the red haired male. Mc was confident that she was no longer in love with Seven. When she thought about him, all she could feel was the love of a platonic friendship.
Even now, as Saeyoung wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, her heart stayed the same. No skipping of beats or increase of her pulse. Just the relief of seeing him alive and healthy.
However, Seven observed Mc. There was something different about her. She seemed so close to him but also in the same reach as he was to the stars. He could no longer feel the warmth in her gaze or the lingering of her arms around him in the hug.
It became painfully apparent to him then; Mc had moved on. He had suceeded in his intetions all those weeks ago. All the spews of hatred and animosity has triumphed into what Seven would consider his greatest mistake.
“Hello, Saeran, I’m Mc. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Mc shook the hand of his brother, smiling gently as she became properly introduced with the man who had turned her life upside down.
Saeyoung could see the blush creep onto his twin’s cheeks as his hand connected with Mc’s.
This was it.
It was Saeran’s chance at a happy life. Seven would not interfere. He would stay well away from Mc and do nothing to potentially re-kindle any of her feelings for himself.
For now, Saeyoung’s love story with Mc was over.
Only to be continued in his dreams.
But in reality; just as in reach as he was with the stars.
AHHH, I hope you enjoy this. I eventually got this finished lolol, there were so many power outages today!
Oooh nonny, you’re speaking my language. I love me some angst ;))) I consider V part of the RFA so I’ll put him below a a four line break because the rest of this is really long so it’s going under a cut. I suppose Seven’s route has spoilers too kind of so make sure you’ve done his route/all the routes or only read the routes you’ve done pls I don’t want to accidentally ruin anything for anyone. Also I love Unknown so if someone wants me throwing him in the bunch hit me up and I’ll do it.
Yoosung
The LOLOL never stops
You care so much about him, and you know he cares about you too
It just hurts to see him neglecting himself for the sake of playing his game
He misses dinners you cook for him, or he’ll leave them untouched on his desk
You offer to help him study, only for him to go right back to gaming thirty minutes later
After talking with him and letting him know how worried you are for him trying so hard not to say that you yourself are feeling neglected, you don’t want to seem needy and controlling but ofc you wouldn’t be gaming is more than okay, this is just excessive he agrees to stop gaming and promises to come to bed early with you that night
He doesn’t
You fall asleep alone in bed, and when you wake up around 4am you’re still alone
From the other room you can see the glow of his computer, hear the keyboard taps
It’s the final straw
You haven’t officially moved in with Yoosung yet, so you just gather simple things like your phone charger, hoodie, and bag
He’ll be so invested in his game, he won’t notice
He notices
But you’re not there anymore
You don’t have the heart to answer his frantic texts and calls - you would never do something like what you need to do over the phone
You’re camped out at Jaehee’s when he finds you
He’s a mess; a dirty pair of sweats on and a sleeveless t-shirt despite it being winter
His hair isn’t combed, his eyes swollen and his face wet with tears that are still streaming down his face
“MC, thank God you’re safe! I thought something bad happened to you.”
Tears well in your eyes as he hugs you desperately, it’s so tempting to just forget all about it and live in this constant cycle of misery
But you don’t
“Yoosung, I can’t do this…”
“Do what? What do you mean?”
It hurts so bad to explain, and you can’t help but cry as you tell him how you’ve been watching him ruin his life at the computer, how you’ve felt like you didn’t have his heart anymore, how you felt that LOLOL came first to him
He’s endless apologies, on his knees as he clutches helplessly onto you and buries his face against your stomach
“I’ll stop! I swear, MC, I’ll never play again, just please- please don’t think those things, you’re so important to me!”
“I’m so sorry, Yoosung. I love you, I do. But I just can’t anymore. Goodbye, Yoosung.”
You shut him out
He stays outside in the cold, sobbing and pleading for you, until you finally ask Jaehee to escort him home
You hated sleeping alone, it’s part of what made you feel so uncared for when Yoosung would play late - but this time, sleeping alone on Jaehee’s pull out couch despite her offering you her bed, your heart shatters completely
Zen
W H Y did he let that fan kiss him on the mouth??
It wasn’t even close to being okay
You are not a jealous person
He can hug them, take selfies with them, kiss their cheek, he can braid their goddamn hair but he let that girl kiss him on the mouth
And he knows you know
He brings home flowers and chinese food
You’re already pacing back and forth in the living room, tears running down your face
Sometimes a quick peck on the lips is okay in some cultures but fuck this - this is not okay there was tongue
“MC I am swear I’m sorry-”
“Don’t tell me sorry. Tell me why.”
He’s babbling then
She kissed him
It was an accident
Her friend took the picture
He certainly does seem upset that you’re crying; his hands are outstretched for you like he wants to hold you or dry your tears
You’re far too upset for that
“But you didn’t tell her no. You didn’t push her away, did you?”
“I… no. She was a fan, MC, I have to be nice to-”
You stop listening then
An explanation was what you wanted, but what you were getting were excuses
If he had outright admitted he had messed up, then maybe you’d be more willing to listen
But he was only defending himself to avoid trouble
You’re still crying as you start stuffing your clothes into your bag
You’ve lived with Zen since you left the apartment, you don’t even know where you could go
He’s still following you around, saying he’ll make it up to you, saying it didn’t mean anything
You don’t want it made up to you, you want him to admit he had made a huge mistake, one he would never make again
And if it’s not something he can realize on his own - then maybe he should just be left to kiss his fans freely as a single man
Jumin is the only person you can think to call - it’s a low blow for Zen, but he has plenty of space and Jumin can of course get you a ride to him
Zen stumbles after you outside, and as you wait for Driver Kim he clutches your sleeve and makes you meet his gaze
It’s pouring outside, but you think his eyes look damp aside from the rain
“Why are you doing this, please, please don’t run off to him. Are you trying to make me jealous, too? I said I was sorry, MC, please.”
You recoil, your tears unfaltering as you shake your head
“I’m not trying to make you jealous. You’ve hurt me, Hyun, and you can’t even own up to it. I can’t do it. Kiss all the fans you want. I’ll send someone for the rest of my things, but I won’t be coming back. Goodbye, Hyun.”
Driver Kim helps you in to the car, leaving Zen standing in the downpour
You’re still sobbing as you drive away, watching Zen in the back window
He doesn’t head back inside, and then you can’t even see him anymore
Jumin is waiting for you with a warm towel and soft blankets to wrap you in, and he sits and offers to let you rant
All you can do is sob against his shoulder
Your heart has never hurt so badly
Jaehee
The coffee shop means everything to her
And it means everything to you too
But for her, she lets the desire for perfection smother her fun and happiness
Evidently, her desire for perfection outweighs her sympathy for you as well
You’re preparing scones to place in the glass case up front
The shop is busy
It requires you to go up front and help out for a bit, leaving the scones in the oven a little past the timer
Of course they burn
Not badly… but they burn
Definitely not worthy of putting out in the case
Jaehee hurries into the back to figure out where the scones are, and when she sees them the disappointment is clear on her face
“Oh no, we can’t serve those. MC, I trusted you to be able to make those. We’re at our busiest time of the day, too. Just… let me handle everything, go do some dishes or something.”
She barely lets you get a word in
She’s small, but she’s fierce, and it almost feels like she snatches the scones away from you before she’s shooing you away
Well then
You do the dishes, but you also attempt to help make a few coffees up front
When you accidentally use 2% milk instead of low fat, and the customer somehow knows they chew you out
Jaehee is right there in an instant - and she doesn’t defend you for your accidental mistake
Instead, she nearly shoves you back to the back as she offers the gentleman his money back as well as a freshly made coffee
Any normal person would assume she was having a bad day - but no
It’s become a norm for Jaehee to treat you as if you’re incompetent at work
She won’t discuss it at home, changing the subject to finances or something completely off topic
When you burn your arm preparing cookies and drop the pan on the floor, she completely tears into you
“Why is it so hard for you to bake? Don’t even bother touching the oven anymore. You make so much more work for me to do, MC, and I-”
You don’t even let her finish, clutching your burnt arm
“Okay. Okay, I won’t be such a bother to you, anymore. I didn’t know how difficult I made things for you. I’ll go.”
Normally you wouldn’t just abandon her at work, but there’s a few additional hands helping out - so there’s no reason for her to be so snappy
But you don’t just plan on leaving work
You go back to the apartment you and Jaehee share, grabbing as much of your belongings as you can, and you go to the only person you can think of - Yoosung’s
It completely scares the shit out of this boy when you show up at his house that evening, sobbing with your belongings
He immediately thinks someone is dead, but you tell him everything that’s happened, and he just hugs you tight and strokes your hair
But then Jaehee shows up, and Yoosung looks like he wants to cry too as he asks if you want to see her
Of course you oblige, you go to her
She seems extremely concerned, and she’s still wearing her work uniform with flour all over it
“If I upset you today, I truly did not mean to… I was worried when you weren’t at home.”
It’s with a shaky breath that you tell her, “That can’t be my home anymore. I can’t take much more of feeling worthless. We opened the shop together to spread love, happiness, to have fun and be able to see each other and so neither of us feel like we’re actually working. But you’ve made me feel so useless. And I don’t want to feel like that anymore.”
She stands stunned, completely pale after hearing your confession
“MC…”
You try to close the door before you start to cry - but she catches it, her eyes wide
“Please just go. You can have the coffee shop.”
Somehow that finalizes it for her, makes her realize just how serious you are
Her hands are shaking and she can’t seem to speak, reaching out and clinging to your arm
“Wait- I’m so sorry, MC, let me make it right. Tell me what I can do!”
“I’ve tried.”
It’s with a heavy heart that you gently shake free, and before you shut the door you hear her quiet sob
You can hardly stand it, sprinting to the bathroom and locking yourself in
Yoosung sits right outside and pleads with you to at least come out so he can comfort you, but all you can do is sob into your hands
Jumin
You knew from the beginning that your relationship would be difficult at times
Jumin had never truly been in love before you, he was still learning
You were always patient with him, reminding him that relationships required communication
He was finally learning to accept trust in the relationship - you weren’t going to be harmed and you would always come back to him when you would leave the penthouse
Work actually came second to him for once, you always coming first
But there were still times where he’d shut down - and in times like those is when it hurt the most
Seeing him suffer in silence was painful
It would happen in spurts
But these spurts could last anywhere from two days to two weeks
He’d be absent, glassy eyed, and he’d work from dusk until dawn, only crawling into bed when you were already half asleep
You weren’t even sure how much he would eat during these times
The shut down he had when it finally all came to a boil happened shortly after a project of his failed, causing quite a drastic drop in C&R’s sales
Jumin’s father had been extremely disappointed, making a point to tell Jumin so multiple times over the phone
If there was one thing in the world that could bring Jumin Han to a stuttering halt, it was Mr. Han Senior
Almost immediately you could see just how deeply it was eating at Jumin
He was already upset with himself, he didn’t need the weight of his father’s disappointment either
Out of desperation you tried to coax him to head to bed early with you, cuddling and talking probably in nothing but one of Jumin’s shirts because he loved seeing them on you always worked when he was stressed over a less drastic problem
Instead - he headed back to his office
At 8pm at night
You brushed it off, assuring yourself that he’d be back in a few hours, but when you awoke in the morning, his side of the bed was still made
It panicked the shit out of you
You called him endlessly, but he didn’t pick up
So of course you rushed to C&R, hurrying up to his office and barging in without bothering to knock
Pale skin, a loose tie, messy hair, and dark eye circles greeted you
Or rather, didn’t even acknowledge your presence
Jumin was at his desk scribbling at something like a mad man, papers askew across his desk
You hurried to him and touched his shoulder gently but he flinches away
“Jumin… Jumin, love, you need to come home and rest. Did you sleep at all?”
He doesn’t answer verbally, only shakes his head, and continues to write
A glance at his desk reveals crumpled papers, chicken scratch writing that is so vastly different compared to his usual elegant penmanship
“Do you want breakfast?”
Another head shake
With a gentle hand you try to cup his face, turn his head so he’ll meet your gaze
“Go back home. You can’t even imagine all that I have to do now, I messed up and now I have to fix it. It’s not just going to fix itself. There’s no time, just go. You’re distracting me.”
Which okay, he’s been like this before… kind of…
“I’m worried about you, let me at least get you something to-”
“No, MC!”
Never does Jumin raise his voice, not even at other shitty company owners trying to seal a deal with him
But he definitely wasn’t quiet as he slammed his fist down against his desk, his jaw tense
And he still won’t look at you
One last time you try to touch his arm; it’s unbearable to see him so unshapely, the Jumin Han you know would never loosen his tie in the workplace and it makes you worry about how truly upset he could be
Your hand settles on his fist clenched on the desk
His other hand… the one gripping his pen… moves to shove it off
“Damn it, MC, get out.”
A small gasp escapes you as the pen in his hand roughly scrapes against the soft skin on the side of your thumb
It’s already bleeding - not much, but it stings and you can hardly wrap your head around it all
He’s been angry before, but he’s never been so rough from anger
His eyes snap to your face before they fall on your hand clutching your bleeding scrape
He pales even more if possible, looking completely crushed
Before he even has time to speak, you turn on your heal and walk out
Surprisingly enough, he comes home shortly after
You’re already waiting with packed bags
Talking is a must
You tried to talk to him - and he had lashed out physically, something you swore you would never stand for
No matter how much you loved him
“MC… what… your suitcases, what are you doing?”
“We need to talk one last time, Jumin. I… I love you more than you will ever know. Seeing you hurt kills me, and I just wanted to be there for you. I can handle you shutting me out as long as you let me back in, but when you shut me out and lay a hand on me…”
“God, is your hand alright? How badly are you hurt-”
You don’t let him see, but rather pull away
“I promised you at the beginning that I would never leave you if we kept communication and trust. But you broke your promise, you pushed me away and you broke my trust… I’ve already made up my mind and called a cab.”
His entire strong posture completely shatters, his shoulders slumping and his generally tall frame seeming so small
“Oh.”
Which is all he has to say??
He wasn’t even going to try to fight for you, and it breaks you even more
However, he leaves the room and leaves you standing with your heart thumping in your chest
When he comes back, he picks up your suitcases for you and heads for the door
He’s just going to kick you out so easily?
“What are you doing?”
And fuck, you’re crying
“I cannot allow the person who means the most to me to go out on their own without a plan. Driver Kim will pick you up and drive you around until you have somewhere safe.”
You can hardly wrap your head around it all as he leads the way downstairs and loads your things into Driver Kim’s car
He’s got that look on his face at your tears, the look he gives you whenever he’ll hold you close, thumb under your eyes, and kiss at your hair as he whispers soothing things to you
But you’re giving that up - the man he was that morning was not the man you knew
“Will you text me when you’re somewhere safe?”
It’s whispered, but you hear it as Driver Kim helps you into the car
“No.”
You can barely choke it out, slumping into the vehicle and peeking at Jumin out the window
He’s now wearing a face you’ve never seen before - his face his crumpled, and a single hand raises to cover his eyes as he turns his back on the car, his shoulders hunched
Driver Kim hands you tissues as he drives away and you sob into your lap
Seven
This boy would go to the ends of the earth for you
He’d die for you
And you’d die for him
But when he puts himself in danger, more so than necessary, to keep you safe…
You make him promise to always tell you when something he’s doing is dangerous
He doesn’t have to tell you how
Or why
You just want to know, and you deserve to know
The memory of him shutting you out for your own safety is so fresh in your mind
How cruel he had been thinking it would protect you in the long run
Even so, he swore he’d never do it again
And for the longest time he didn’t
Until… he did
All other times he’s the funny 707
Defender of Justice
But then on one certain day of him spending nearly fourteen hours at his computer, you begin to worry
When you finally head to where he sits as his desk (where he’s typing away) and gently move the headphones from his ear, he all but smacks his screen off
“MC, don’t do that! Classified information here, okay?”
You hold up your hands in defense, expecting him to smile and stand stretching only for him to do his thing where he pretends gravity has grown too strong for him and that he needs your support to remain upright
But he only stares at you expectantly
“Don’t you want to come find something to eat for dinner with me?”
“Uh… no, I need to stay here a bit longer. Eat without me.”
You don’t of course, you take him a plate of food and then leave him once more
He doesn’t come to bed that night
When he’s still on the computer in the morning, you brush it off
It’s probably just a major assignment that he needs to complete
You remember just how… demanding his old boss had been
But that evening, when he’s still at his computer and seems half asleep in the clothes he’s worn three days in a row, you intervene once more
This time when you touch his shoulder, snapping him out of a light sleep, he ends up knocking over a full glass of water you had left him
It spills all over his keyboard, and you immediately apologize and lean to help clean it up
“Fuck! Don’t touch anything, just- I told you this was classified, why do you keep bothering me? I need to get this done, and I know I’ve told you that you cant see this shit.”
A sudden cold wave of fear churns in your tummy
“Saeyoung, baby… are you safe? Is everything okay?”
“It’s fucking peachy.”
He shuts his monitor off, glaring at you until you take a step back
“You promised you would tell me about dangerous assignments, Saeyoung… I deserve to-”
“You don’t deserve anything. I don’t have to tell you anything, did you know I could be killed just for you knowing who I am? And then they’d fucking kill you too, so just- just get out of here.”
He’s cold, his face emotionless
You can’t seem to find your words, or your legs even
The last time you had seen a Saeyoung like this was back before you were together
And it felt like a thousand tiny pin pricks in your chest
“Saeyoung, I know that… but I trust you and I know we’re safe and-”
“You don’t know shit. You don’t know what trust is. Damn it, I should be working but now I have to clean up my keyboard and- why the hell are you still in here? I said get out.”
It hurts
He swore he would never treat you this way again
This time even seemed… worse
As if he wanted you gone completely
And if he was in that much danger over this assignment, if he was trying to protect you… then you’d protect him
You don’t bother going back to tell him that it’s over
It’s a horrible thing to do, but instead you write it in a letter that you tack to the bathroom door - he’ll have to make a trip there sooner or later
Saeyoung: I love you more than you’ll ever know, and if I cause you this much pain, if I put you in this much danger… then I’ll go like you asked. You did promise that you’d never shut me out again, so I trust that if you’re doing this it’s serious and that maybe we really should go separate ways if it’s for the best. Don’t worry about me, not that you would. I’ll get out of your hair. I’m so sorry for the trouble. Goodbye, Saeyoung. -MC
It’s numbing as you leave his bunker, blinking back tears as you catch a cab and head to the one person you could get a hold of, which so happens to be Zen
Zen makes you warm tea and hums to you softly as you sob out as much as you dare sharing
You don’t let Zen tell him where you are, and you ditch your phone just in case he (or someone else) tries tracking it
You don’t see the way he searches for you madly in all the places you’ve been together
Or the way he pleads Jumin to send out a search party only for Jumin to tell him that he knows where you are, that you are safe but wish for your location to remain hidden
Zen swears up and down you aren’t there as you hide in his wardrobe
You don’t see the way he curls up in the bed you shared and sobs brokenly into a forgotten sweater of yours
He breaks things
He pulls at his hair, his clothes, his skin
And he clutches onto the note you left him and begs for you to come back
V SPOILERS UNDER THESE LINES
V
You know how much he had loved her
Everyone had loved her
She seemed like she had been a very wonderful person before her mental illness had taken over her life
And in no way did it mean that she could be forgiven for all that she had done
She had hurt V
She hurt him in so many ways
And of course you didn’t expect to heal him in the ways she hurt him
You just wanted to give him all of the love he deserved
He is so, so wonderful and deserves the world
You know he loves you too - you can see it in how he accepted vision repairing surgery so he could see you better and he wasn’t fully healed but he could see you and he thought you were beautiful, could feel it in the way he held you and kissed you, and could hear it in the way he spoke to you
But at times, it’s evident that he still holds on to who she once was
It’s only fair, they had been engaged
You are not jealous and you do not hold anything against him in the slightest
But one day, you find him knelt on the floor in his room, digging frantically through a box of photos
He’s desperate, photos strewn across the floor
“I can’t find it, where is it? It was in here!”
He’s always so calm and collected, it almost scares you to see him this way
Even so, you drop to the floor next to him
The box he holds is full of pictures of her
It was a box you didn’t even know existed
It hurts a little - not that he still has things involving her, but that he never showed you or told you about them
Even with the significance she had held in his life, she was a part of his life, a life that you were now in and loved so much
Of course you would want to know about the pictures and all they meant to him
“What are you looking for, Jihyun, maybe I can help?”
You place a gentle hand on his arm, but he shakes you off
“No! Don’t touch them!”
“Jihyun…”
He scrambles to scoop all of the photos back up, shoving them into the box with shaking hands
You try to help, but in a haste to snatch a photo from your hand, the photo rips in two
And it just had to be a photo of the two of them together, now completely torn apart
“Oh no! We can tape it, I’m so sorry, we can fix it-”
He’s gone completely pale, his hands shaking as he takes the other half of the photo from you
His cloudy turquoise eyes well with tears, and he makes a choked sob sound
“Did you take it? Did you take her ring out of here? I’ll never have the old Rika back MC, why are you still so jealous of her? You ripped this on purpose and you took her ring, didn’t you?”
His voice rises in volume until he’s shouting, his face livid
All you can do is gape at him
How could he even say that you were jealous?
You tried your hardest to let him still have pieces of her in his life, to talk about her with him even if he brushed it off, you knew that he didn’t love you any less
Or maybe he did…
If he would accuse you of such a thing, then maybe he loved Rika far more still than he would ever love you
You could handle a different love - you didn’t need loved as he had loved Rika
But you didn’t want to be loved less - you wanted a fresh love that both of you could share equally
And it didn’t seem that Jihyun was after the same thing
You stood shakily, feeling your throat and eyes burn
He was still glaring at you, still clutching his photos
“I am not jealous. You have never given me any reason to be jealous, and I don’t care that you still have her things. But if you’re going to accuse me like this, if you think I would take away things that make you happy and let you heal… then you don’t love me like you say you do. I hope you find her ring, and I hope it gives you the happiness that I can’t.”
You can see as realization dawns on him, as he looks down at his hands and the photos
You’re already out of the house and headed for your own apartment - not her old apartment… before he can stop you
He knocks on your door endlessly - and he has a key, but he doesn’t dare abuse it
You can hear him crying, begging for you to open the door and talk to him
But you don’t
Instead, you remain curled up in your bed with a pillow that smells like him
You love him so fucking much
But if you can’t make him happy…
If it’s memories of Rika that make him happiest…
Then you’ll let him have them uninterrupted and without him feeling like he needs to give his love to you as well
EDIT I added in Unknown upon request so there’s spoilers under this! and maybe some trigger warnings? Like... PTSD and like yeah, if you know this boy’s history you understand
Saeran
He’s been through so much
And this boy has to be the strongest person you have ever seen
For the longest time he wouldn’t let you near him - and granted Saeyoung had a large part of that as well
But when he does, he is so. sweet
Talk about caring
His touches are never anything but feather light, always so gentle and careful
He tells you constantly how he never ever wants to hurt you, that he wants you to never let him even come close
He’s medicated, but accidents can happen and PTSD can really affect the mind
It’s not like he can just magically be cured by medication and support
But he is healing, and you’re so proud of him
And then one day, it all goes to shit
Saeyoung calls you to let you know that Saeran is having some sort of meltdown, that something had to have triggered him
You rush to him of course, and you find him in the kitchen tossing whatever he can get his hands on
Saeyoung is desperately trying to calm him down, and apparently thinks that if Saeran sees you he’ll come back to his senses
It definitely does not work that way
A plate is most certainly launched at you, hitting you in the forehead hard enough that you’re seeing stars
It shatters at your feet as you yelp in pain, but then the commotion just stops
Nothing else if thrown
Instead, there’s a quiet gasp
Saeyoung is trying to pull you from the room, but it’s too late
“MC...?”
“Saeran-”
“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, you’re hurt- I hurt you, oh god-”
You try to go to him, but he bolts, and you can hear a dry sob as he sprints from the room
Saeyoung won’t let you go after him
Rather, he takes you to the emergency room to get your head checked and you’re fucking fine damn it, Saeran needs me!
Saeran is evidently with Jumin, who is keeping him safe and watched after in the penthouse
But he doesn’t come home that night
Or the next day
You’re all but camping out at Saeyoung’s place, harassing him with questions over his brother, when finally Saeyoung hands you a piece of crudely torn paper
MC, fuck (and the fuck is scribbled out), I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to I swear but- I’m so fucked up, I can’t control it sometimes and what I did isn’t even slightly okay. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t ever hurt you again, and I’ll keep my promise this time, because never again will I be near you. I love you so fucking much but (it’s scribbled out as well, seemingly much more violently). We can’t do this. We shouldn’t have done it to begin with. I’m sorry. Goodbye.
Your chest is so tight, it’s hard to breathe
You aren’t aware that you’re sobbing until Saeyoung is helping you sit down and mumbling apologies
You can’t stand the thought of Saeran loathing himself so greatly
It wasn’t his fault
You want to fix it. You need to fix it, you can’t let the person you love the most hate themselves
But you don’t even know where to begin if he won’t let you back in
And it feels like when he left, he took your heart with him
WOW TWIST FOR THIS ONE Saeran breaks up with MC bless
EEEE RIP my heart. I hope this was angsty enough for you and somewhat what you wanted. So like… who wants a part two where they all make up BECAUSE MY POOR HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS HONESTLY angst is only okay if fluff happens in the end :(((
But this was fun to write so thank you for the HC Request ;) I’m secretly a sucker for pain I’m kidding when I say angst has to have a happy ending. You all are the bomb! Don’t forget about our VALENTINES RFA WEEK I’m hype for it.-Mod Krys
I have been seeing this pic for quite some time now and in all of them, I didn’t realize that Seven is laying on the ground! I just realized it when I played the secet ending 1!!!
