genre slight angst , fluff , chani has past scars , non idol au , chani x fem!reader cw chani is afraid of love and a bit reclusive , reader loves him unconditionally , kissing, he's shirtless for one scene , not proofread wc 850 request no note originally written for my f1 blog but i like this fic so much and wanted to post it here as well. i felt like it fit chani the best <3 ik barely anyone reads for sf9 but this is moreso for me than anyone else lmao net @kstrucknet
When you first met Chanhee, he hid his past like he hid the scars on his back; pretending like they didn’t exist at all. To the regular onlooker, he was a normal guy in his mid-twenties. Graduated from a respectable university with a regular office job, his daily life no different from theirs. But the first time you met Chanhee, you noticed the sadness in his eyes.
Something drew you to him, like a moth to a flame; something so strong that you couldn’t ignore it. He was hesitant to let you in at first. He was used to being guarded all the time, whether at work or social gatherings. Even his boss and coworkers knew almost nothing about him besides the one-dimensional ice breaker questions he couldn’t get around answering. But you were persistent, and Chanhee couldn’t fight back against you.
You got to know Chanhee slowly, patiently. You were acquaintances first, and then one day you dared to call him your friend. A small smile flashed on his face for a split second at the mention, and your chest buzzed with warmth at the sight. It was the first time you had seen him smile.
You steadily broke through each level of guarded walls that he had put up so many years ago, and when you finally reached his heart, you found it still wounded. But you were relentless with your patience, and having spent over a year around Chanhee already, you weren’t ready to give up. You took it slow, as always.
When he told you he was scared at the thought of dating— that he had never done it before and didn’t know how— you simply told him that you hadn’t either. It was normal to be scared of the unknown. It was okay to be hesitant. But you could tell he wanted to test out the waters, to see where it would lead. So, you extended the steady assurance that you had given him every time before once again.
“I like you. I do. But I don’t know how to express it,” he whispered one night, hesitance in his voice and doubt in his eyes.
“I know. You’ve already shown me since the day we met. You let me in. That’s enough for me. I don’t need anything else.”
You dated for two years before Chanhee made the first brave decision of his life. His proposal to you was nothing extravagant. But it was him. It was quiet, timid, and so delicately beautiful that you couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with him. You had never been so sure about anything in your life— Chanhee was the man you wanted to marry.
Things started to look up. Your fiancé smiled more easily, and cracked more jokes. Your day-to-day life felt light and weightless. Even the usual frustrations could barely leave their mark on you. You had always been affectionate, but during those days, Chanhee was wrapped up in your affection nearly every moment of the day. The amount of love you poured out was almost overwhelming, and he could only do his best to match it in his own way.
You were admiring your husband again in the quiet, gentle, slowness of the early evening. After a year of marriage, he was more than used to it by now. He let you have your way, pressing slow kisses up his arm and shoulder, nuzzling your face in the joint of his neck. Your hands trailed along his back, tracing the scars he once was so hellbent on hiding from the world. After knowing Chanhee for five years, there was nothing left to uncover, no secrets he still hid in shame. You knew him inside out. All his rough edges had been softened by your love. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t defined by pain anymore.
“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered to him. He had heard you saw that countless times, but it still made his breath hitch. You were everything to him.
“I’m just me, though.” It was his usual reply. He could feel you smile against his skin, breath warm as you placed another kiss to his shoulder.
“‘Just you’… You don’t even know how much I adore just Chanhee.”
He caught your hand, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles and then your fingertips, admiring the beauty in something so simple. Your way of loving Chanhee was overt. You weren’t shy to tell him every lovely word in the dictionary that fit him so perfectly. Kind, gentle, handsome, perfect, mine.
It used to make him shy, heat creeping up his neck at how easily you could say such things. He wasn’t used to such words being used to describe him. But he was starting to get used to it now, starting to accept the warm feeling that you instilled in his chest whenever you complimented him, starting to not be scared to love you back just as fiercely as you did.
His love for you was always quiet, but it was never hidden. You could always see it like broad daylight.
sf9 taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @weird-bookworm,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @blossominghunnie,, @seunghancore,, @chenleszone,, @yudaies,, @loserlvrss,, @lexeees
-> warnings. Drinking, intoxication, relationship ended on bad terms
-> a/n. This isn’t half bad?? Despite being old as shit 😭
-> collection. songfic
-> started. ???
-> fin. October 31st, 2020 @ 20:33
-> edited. Sat., Jul. 15th, 2023 @ 20:55
-> divider credit. @saradika-graphics
It didn't take long until you were leaning with your palm pressed against your forehead, staring at the bottom of your glass in a daze.
You had been sitting on the same barstool for little over two hours now, wallowing in self pity. You had heard that Inseong had moved on a lot faster than you had and that he was already dating again. You had seen him around campus a few times, but anytime you saw even just a hint of him you bolted out of the immediate area, going far, far away.
You had made eye contact with him only once since the break-up: the day after, in the cafeteria, when you saw him smiling and flirting with a girl from your class. He had turned around and immediately met your eyes. It took exactly .1 seconds for you to burst into tears, rushing out of the cafeteria to avoid embarrassing yourself further.
The whole of your grade and the grade above knew that you had been dating Inseong and that meant that they knew you had broken up... More like you had been dumped, but asked for specifics, right?
You scoffed as you poured another round of soju, smacking away Youngbin's hand when he tried to get the bottle away from you.
"You've had enough to drink—"
"I've had enough to drink when I've said I've had enough to drink," you warned your friend in a low voice, glaring at him. Youngbin looked at you worriedly, sighing while running a hand through his hair. "Just… Go have some fun, Youngie. I'll be fine," you assured him in a softer, gentler tone.
Youngbin bit his lip in thought. "Promise you'll stay here so that I can take you home later?"
You nodded with a drunken smile, holding out your pinky finger. “Promise."
You giggled stupidly when the two of you connected your thumbs together in a signature 'stamp' move. Youngbin then left you to sulk on your own. Good. He deserves to have some fun.
In your drunken state, you couldn't notice the way Inseong eyed you from the pool table, his hair falling into his face just the way you used to like it.
Inseong sighed, putting down his stick and walking over to you. He stopped in his tracks when he was pulled back by a hand on his wrist.
"Where are you going?" Jaeyoon asked seriously, looking at his older friend questioningly.
Nodding his head in your direction, Inseong turned back to look at Jaeyoon. "I'm going to take her home," Inseong said, jerking his arm out of Jaeyoon's grip.
"You know that's a bad idea, right?"
"And why's that?" Inseong asked pointedly, clenching his jaw.
"It's Y/N, for goodness sakes! Your ex, remember? The one you dumped?"
"I didn't dump her," Inseong defended, rubbing his temples. "I broke up with her."
"Hyung," Jaeyoon said, leaning against his pool-stick for emphasis. "You told her you liked someone else and wanted to break things off to be with her. You dumped her."
Inseong sighed deeply, turning away while rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.
Jaeyoon scoffed in disbelief, shaking his head while watching his friend walk off in annoyance. "He never listens to me," he sighed, heading back to the pool table.
"Y/N?"
You froze.
You'd recognize that voice anywhere. Hoping you were hallucinating, you downed the last bit of your drink before going to refill it. The soju bottle, however, was tugged out of your hand and put on the far corner of the table. "I think you've had enough to drink, don't you agree?"
You turned to look at Inseong with a grimace, anger boiling in your chest. Inseong flinched at your hard gaze, not used to your cold stares—always expecting the warm and loving gaze he was so used to.
Clenching your fists, you stared him down. "What do you want, Inseong?"
He winced. You used to call his name lovingly, but here you were spitting his name like it was venomous. "I'm going to take you home, Y/N. You're wasted and someone might take advantage of that—"
"And?" you snapped coldly.
"And? Y/N, what's gotten into you?" Inseong asked angrily, his voice raising slightly. You winced, shrinking in on yourself. Inseong sighed, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, but please," he paused, gently tilting your head up to make you look at him. "Don't say something like that again," he begged.
You nodded, almost falling all over again. You jerked away from him, clearing your throat. “I can't go with you."
"Why not?"
"Youngbin told me to stay here," you said matter-of-factly, recconnecting your eyes. Inseong froze slightly at the mention of Youngbin. Even while the two of you were dating he had felt somewhat insecure about your relationship with Youngbin. He felt that he liked you more than just a friend, and it made him nervous. Jealous, even.
He grimaced as he replied. “And you're listening to him why?"
You smiled sadly. “Still don't like him, huh?"
Inseong stayed silent, not having a good enough comeback to back himself up.
"So... Where's your new girlfriend?" you asked bitterly, staring at the bottom of your glass again.
"BamBam said you were dating someone?" you said, your brow raised in disbelief.
Inseong scoffed, muttering under his breath. “I met a girl, yes, but we're not dating."
"Why not?"
"Because she's not you."
You paused. What?
"Excuse me?" you asked slowly, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
"I miss you too, you know? It's not just—"
"Where'd you get the nerve?"
Tears ran down your cheeks in long, hot streaks, catching people's attention. One of whom was Jaeyoon, who ran for Youngbin.
"I'm human, Y/N! I'm hurting too!" Inseong yelled, standing up. You got up from your chair as well, staring at him with pure anger.
"I don't care how bad it hurts, Inseong!" you shouted back, people turning their heads to stare questioningly. Inseong stayed silent as he watched you, nails digging into his palms. Sniffling, you looked down. “I don't care how bad it hurts, because you broke me first."
"Y/N..." Inseong whispered, reaching for you before being pushed back.
Youngbin stood in front of you protectively.
"Leave her alone, Inseong. You've done enough," he snarled, turning around and hugging you to his chest.
Inseong's jealousy and guilt flared up as he could only watch you walk away with Youngbin... Watch you cry.
"I'm sorry," Inseong muttered, looking down as tears rolled down his face, sinking down onto his knees.
Summary: Sometimes, you have to go back to the place it all began, to relive what once was.
Pairing: Baek Juho x OC
Genre: Angst, One-Shot, Collab/Event
Tropes: Fantasy!AU, Faun!idol, tennyo!OC, strangers to lovers to strangers
Word Count: 1.3K
Contains: circular storytelling, flashbacks (anything italicized is a flashback), one mention of suggestive content (no details), lots of angst
A/N: Fantasy, I apologize in advance for what I've done to the poor sweetheart. This was what instantly came to mind when presented with the Mocha Madness event. Also, Ceres is a likeness to the titular character of an anime I adored way back in middle school titled Ayashi No Ceres.
"Can I get a mochaccino, Cupid?" The faun man orders as calmly as usual, adding, "Make it a double. I need a pick-me-up."
After placing the coins on the counter, Zuho makes his way to his usual table. Pulling his chair out, he sits down, carefully swinging his tail behind him to avoid sitting on it. Placing an elbow on the dark mahogany table, he rests his chin on his palm as he stares at the empty chair in front of him, zoning out into his own little world.
"Can I try the house coffee? It's my first time here."
Hearing a shy but angelic voice, he lifts his head to see her. More beautiful than most creatures who frequent the cafe, her long, healthy black hair flowing freely down her back and her beautiful blue silk kimono makes her appear heavenly to the lone faun sitting nearby. Seeing Zuho's gaze on the newcomer, Cupid points the lady in his direction and suggests him as a kind regular.
Thanking Cupid and paying for her drink, the captivating stranger approaches Zuho and asks whether she could sit with him. Moving his latte closer to himself, he motions to the chair as words betray him by failing to leave his lips entirely.
"Thank you. I hear you're a regular. I'm new around here and qould love a guide, if you're so willing."
"Sure, I would be happy to help. My name is Zuho."
Shining a smile that can cure any ailments, she responds, "Nice to meet you, Zuho. My name is Cerea. I'm a tennin - or a tennyo, more specifically - and I've wanted to roam earth for a bit now but was scared. It's nice to know somebody is willing to help lead me in good directions."
"A tennyo - no wonder you're so beautiful. I'm a faun, as you may be able to guess." He gestures around himself to show off his horns, tail, and hooves. "Although I'm often confused for a satyr since we're distant cousins in looks."
As he learns more about Ceres, he finds that her beauty goes beyond her style and appearance. Feeling her kindness in every word, Zuho befriends her quickly, establishing the next time to meet.
"Here you go, Zu." Cupid places the glass mug in front of the faun, bringing him back to reality momentarily.
"Thanks, Cupid. I really need it today."
Patting the man on the back, Cupid returns to the counter with hopes that the strength of the drink will help his friend return to his usual chipper self.
As he takes a sip, Zuho remembers the day he began dating Ceres - a time now as bittersweet in his mind as the drink hitting his tongue.
For the first time, they meet outside of the cafe. Bringing Zuho to a nice, calm meadow outside of the city, Ceres beams over the idea of enjoying one another's company out in nature.
Most of the date, they sit next to each other on the grass silently, gazing at the flowers swaying in the light wind or viewing the clouds floating lazily against the azure sky. After a while, Zuho turns to admire Ceres.
Feeling his gaze after a few minutes, Ceres turns towards him. His loving eyes bring a soft smile to her lips. Her dark hair contrasting the colorful surroundings, Zuho brushes a loose strand behind her shoulder, letting it sway in the wind alongside the flowers.
"Ceres," He starts, his gaze shifting around her. "Would you like to date?"
"I thought you'd never ask." Ceres leans in, cupping her partner's face to kiss his nose in acceptance.
Putting the cup back onto the table, Zuho feels the tears welling up in his throat. Bending forward and placing his forehead next to the glass, the faun's tail swipes furiously behind him as his emotions overwhelm him. Looking on from the counter, Cupid feels the pang of heartbreak seep into his heart, remembering how well the couple got along until yesterday's incident. As Zuho lets his tears fall onto the wood, a montage of happy moments runs through his mind, only to be squashed by the memory of yesterday.
Kissing feels like visiting heaven. Her hugs are a warm embrace, even on the coldest winter days. A smile in his direction brightens his whole day. Her voice rings in his ears like his favorite bard's most uplifting tune, her laugh like the twinkling bells that ding in the markets.
Zuho is head over hooves for Ceres.
She feels the same way - it's obvious to everyone around them, even if she never says so. Heavens forbid, she even debates herself silently on whether or not to give him her celestial robes to take him as her husband. As far as anyone can see, this tennyo and faun are a representation of the truest form of love. The bards have written songs based on their shows of affection, the scholars have noted their actions for future generations to look upon as proof of love's existence. As innocent as the two of them are, planning to propose to one another in a worthwhile way without letting the other catch on to their schemes, the entire city supports them at this point. Everyone felt their love brighten the town.
It was all going splendidly until one day ago - the day tragedy struck. As Ceres bathes in a secluded pond, preparing herself to hand over her robes, but those exact robes are stolen from the branch she placed them upon. In a massive fit of jealousy, a lonely goblin learned about the tennin conditions for marriage and took it upon himself to snatch the opportunity to secure an eye-catching bride.
Despite outrage from everyone in the city, Ceres cannot disobey the laws of her kind. Bawling her eyes out, she begrudgingly follows the goblin to his home. Zuho, upon learning of the travesty, follows, losing sanity as he begs and pleads at their feet. He offers up anything and everything he owns to the goblin in a desperate attempt to earn the hagoromo for himself, but the goblin doesn't budge - rather, he enjoys seeing the faun dirtying his fur to beg him for the item.
He slams the door to his small abode in Zuho's face with an evil smile. Unable to muster the energy to return to the city, Zuho stays on the ground for hours and hears them finalize the marriage. With that final step complete, Zuho feels his heart snap into a million pieces, falling upon the loose dirt in front of the home.
As his tears slow, he wonders whether he stalled too long to ask Ceres to marry him. At this point, he feels as if the gods must be spiting him for some reason. Wondering what he could've done to deserve the torture he received, he lifts his head from the table to see a cookie sitting on a napkin next to his drink. He looks over to Cupid, who is busy cleaning mugs. Silently thanking his friend, he wipes away the remaining tears and takes a big bite of the cookie.
Although certain he hasn't had one before, the cookie tastes oddly familiar - sweet with touches of familiar magic mixed into the cinnamon and sugar. He closes his eyes as he takes another bite, savoring the flavor in an attempt to identify the source of the familiarity.
Suddenly, an all too familiar voice graces his ears. As if he traveled back in time, he opens his eyes to find Ceres talking to Cupid at the counter, in the same blue silk from the first time he laid eyes on her. Even the cookie has disappeared from his hand, and the mocha is replaced by a latte.
"Can I try the house coffee? It's my first time here."
✑ genre: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, slow burn.
✑ warnings for this part: minor car accident, blood, mentions of murder, fighting, break ups, guns, politics(?). lmk if i missed any! hyphens (–) and asterisks (✳︎) are used to separate paragraphs since tumblr won’t let me add the proper space.
✑ word count: 5.6k (sorryyy I won’t make the next parts this long)
✑ a/n: i know this is a very long shot, but i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i am enjoying writing it. very special thanks to @itsjeonghananon who puts up with me, my rambles, and my google docs shenanigans and read this before anyone else!♡ also please spare a reblog for this poor content creator. thanks!
ALL IT TOOK to get Hwiyoung in your life was a dent in your car. Well, to be fair it was a little bit more than a dent in your car, but at least it hadn’t been totaled.
And it hadn’t been your fault.
Some ass ran the red light, crashed into the passenger side of your beautiful BMW, dragging you to the other side of the street and then, had the audacity to run away. It sounds worse than it was, really. Of course your dad obsessed about it though, thinking someone had done it on purpose because you were his daughter.
Senator y/ln’s—and future Governor y/ln— daughter, had obviously become a target. Took long enough, a couple months of campaign and a few years being a Senator. It didn’t matter how many times you told him it had been an accident. It was raining and the stupid driver hadn’t seen the light changing to red, they’d gotten scared once they realized what type of car was now embedded in the opposite corner of the street and therefore, ran away so as to not to pay for the damage.
You didn’t need a bodyguard, or more like a babysitter. You were old enough to take care of yourself and it had been one accident.
But no, since a few days ago and probably until forever, you were stuck with Hwiyoung 24/7.
“Please do not take that with you,” you requested, trying to input as much authority as you could muster into your voice while giving a pointed look to Hwiyoung’s gun holster, under his suit jacket.
“I have to.” Hwiyoung replied, in that it’s-so-obvious tone he gave you almost every time he talked to you. Which wasn’t very often.
From the moment he met you, Hwiyoung seemed to have already made up his mind about you. So all he’d said was his name and how he would take ‘really good care’ of you, this being mostly directed at your dad, because he gave him the job and it was Hwiyoung’s duty to keep it now.
“No, you don’t,” you insisted, pointing to the gun directly with your right hand. The one that wasn’t wrapped up in a black brace, still from the car thing. “Leave it.”
“No.” Hwiyoung’s upper lip twitched slightly in annoyance. You two held this discussion every single day before you left the house. “Are you ready to go–” he seemed to dig the word out of the depths of his throat before letting it out. “Miss?”
Hwiyoung had taken the job because he needed it, not because he wanted it. He needed to get out of Chanhee’s apartment, to stop sleeping on his couch and taking on the underground fighting challenges anyone threw his way just to be able to ‘help a little’ with the rent.
He’d hit rock bottom six months before. Lost his job, his girlfriend and his pride. Former detective Kim Hwiyoung had fucked up, after the system let one of the animals he took so much pride in chasing, walk free after murdering his whole family. Hwiyoung had lost it although it wasn’t the first time it happened, that they let a man live without consequence. But he’d almost jumped the accused in court, it had taken three officials to hold him back and then he’d been suspended.
Hwiyoung became angry, disobedient and to be honest, slightly violent. And after three reports for insubordination, a gunshot wound that kept him in the hospital for two weeks and his partner begging for another person—anyone really— to take Hwiyoung’s place, they gave him the boot.
Iseul left him when the underground fighting started. She couldn’t and didn’t have to put up with him. Yes, she loved him and she’d said so even as she left the promise ring he gifted her on their third anniversary on the kitchen table. No screaming, no fighting, nothing from either side.
Hwiyoung sometimes thought he should have fought. Or better yet, begged. Begged her not to leave him, promised that he would change and stop coming home with bloody knuckles, slashed eyebrows and busted lips. But he didn’t, because he knew he wouldn't keep the promise longer than a week.
–
“Not until you leave that,” you pressed. “Now.”
“I’ve already said no,” he ran two fingers through his black hair, something he did every time he was starting to get pissed. Opening the SUV’s door, he signaled inside. “You don’t want to be late.”
You didn’t want to be late, no. But you didn’t want him carrying a gun around not ever. It made you anxious and frankly, he wouldn’t need it. What exactly was he keeping you safe from? Nothing suspicious had happened to you before the car accident, so Hwiyoung’s presence was useless. It would have sufficed with a chauffeur, not a bodyguard.
You cringed to yourself the moment the thought crossed your mind.
Spoiled brat.
Not that you acted like that usually, but you knew it still would come across wrong.
Hwiyoung looked at you through the rearview mirror, like he’d guessed what you thought and agreed with you. So you looked away, emphasizing the scowl on your lips as he left the house’s garage.
_
“Oh, he’s so handsome!” your friend gushed, leaning over the mimosa on her side of the table one inch away from spilling it all over.
“Eh,” you replied, shrugging. You knew exactly what she was looking at, or who. Hwiyoung a few tables away, already on his fourth cup of coffee, looking around the restaurant and letting his gaze fall over the two of you exactly every two minutes. “I guess so.”
“You guess so?” Aya raised her eyebrows, grabbing the mimosa and sipping it. “Girl he’s literally—”
“Don’t, please.”
You’d heard it once, so you heard it a thousand times. Every place you went to, everyone spoke about how tall and handsome Hwiyoung had to watch your back, and that had to be some sort of lucky strike. Having to hang out with someone like that must be amazing.
Only it wasn’t. But it didn’t matter that you said Hwiyoung was bitter and lowkey rude, everyone in their right mind could overlook that, focusing only on the stray strand of black hair that fell in the middle of his forehead, his dark eyes and broad shoulders, his figure accentuated by the black suit he wore per your father’s orders.
“Fine,” Aya made a scene of capturing her lower lip as she pronounced the ‘f’. “But he is.”
A glare from you and a laugh on her part and Hwiyoung was back at staring at the two of you.
“Whatever, really.” you sipped your own mimosa, glad that since the weekend was approaching Hwiyoung and you could take a break from each other. Or as much a break that living in the same property allowed.
✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎
Hwiyoung was back on Chanhee’s couch on Friday night. At least this time it wasn’t out of need, he just wanted to hang out with his friend. Okay, honestly he needed to hang out with his best friend.
“So,” Chanhee started, leaving a newly opened bottle of beer right next to the one Hwiyoung had just emptied. “Tough week at work?”
Hwiyoung groaned, his lips on the new brown bottle already.
“I’ll take that as a yes,”
“She’s a princess. It’s—” gross? exhausting? his only damned chance at getting back on his feet and that’s why he hated it?
But there was also the fact that he did think of you as a princess. All he’d done all week was follow you around brunch dates with noisy—and nosy— friends, shopping, public events where your main task was to smile and wave and pose for photographs next to your father.
At least now he had a house, or something like it. A one-bedroom-and-kitchen-mini-thing on the oh so prestigious y/ln realm. At least he had a salary which he got paid by the week, meaning he paid off his debt to Chanhee the moment he showed up at the apartment that night.
So yeah, after being a Homicides Detective he was taking care of a spoiled brat, Iseul wouldn’t talk to him and he still felt like he would go crazy from time to time. But at least he wasn’t sleeping on a couch anymore.
And the fighting had stopped. Although he didn’t want it to, it was a release every time he was in that filthy, illegal ring. But he couldn’t afford to go to work looking like he’d taken (and given) a beating.
“They’re the new royalty, that family,” Chani said plopping down next to him on the couch. “But at least you’re getting paid.”
Hwiyoung rolled his eyes. It was true, his boss was the soon to be king of the city and of course the daughter would be the princess. Both of them already believed themselves in that role, what could be different once it was made official? Senator y/ln had everyone in his pocket already.
“Not enough,” he said bitterly, gulping the beer down and suddenly really, really missing being in the ring, getting his hands dirty.
THE DINNER PARTY was going to take place at the Crown Hotel’s main ballroom. One of the last ones your dad offered as the campaign closing approached. Everything and anything to thank his team and supporters. And of course you had to attend. Because voters loved seeing a happy family and a faithful daughter supporting her father on his way to (even greater) success. So there you were on a warm Friday night, in a dress far more expensive than needed be, sitting next to your father while he spoke to whomever he deemed important to assure him a win in the election.
Your father was a good person, and he loved you, of course. Otherwise he wouldn’t have forced you to keep Hwiyoung by your side for two months now. Hwiyoung, who looked bored out of his mind as he stood in the corners of the room, switching positions with the rest of the security team every few minutes so they all could have a look around and probably not fall asleep on the post.
But your father was also ambitious and sometimes appearances mattered to him more than they should. And he didn’t care that sometimes instead of his daughter, you were his tool. Because young people could feel related to you, and you looked delighted in every picture the press took of you and the way you looked didn’t hurt either. It was a running joke—one you abhorred—that you were the visual attraction of the campaign, and that your father got requests for your hand in marriage very often.
You could only hope that his ambition didn’t cloud his judgment enough to actually sell his own daughter out.
“I think I should go home,” you whispered to your father, as the ballroom started to clear out. Only the very important people would remain behind and the politics discussions that would take place were not of your interest. Plus, you had to be up early the next day.
Your father squeezed your arm gently, thanking you for joining him before placing a kiss on your cheek. “Make sure Kim calls when you get home safely,”
You nodded. “Good luck.”
A signal from your father’s hand and Hwiyoung was on the move, ready to escort you back to the car. He didn’t say a word, but that wasn’t unusual. After two months on the job, you were used to him only speaking when necessary, his range going from ‘yes, miss’ ‘no, miss’ and ‘ok’.
You walked behind Hwiyoung to the underground parking lot, holding the lower part of your dress so as not to trip while the voices of your father’s team became more distorted with the distance. Arriving at the lobby, you were met by a crowd of photographers, the hotel’s security struggling to make them leave and stop disturbing the rest of the guests.
You smiled at them politely as Hwiyoung parted the crowd, lips curling when reporters got too close or too loud, shouting questions on what you were going to do if your father became the Governor, or how you were going to spend his (and the city’s) money. You made no reply, there had been worse things shouted at you and written about you in the papers. Including the exaggeration of the accident where they said you totaled the BMW, but didn’t care because daddy would buy you a new one in the blink of an eye.
Finally, you got rid of them as you took the elevator to the parking lot. Sighing you let yourself rest against the cool railing in the back of the cube, you were exhausted. Hwiyoung looked at you over his shoulder, his eyes becoming smaller as he took in your tiredness, he was judging you.
“Did I do something to offend you?” you questioned as he opened the door of the SUV. Your BMW was good as new now, but on nights like these you still used the SUVs for security reasons. “Hwiyoung?”
His eyes, lost somewhere behind you as he held the door open, focused on you. “Why would you ask that, miss?”
“Well, you seem to dislike me more than usual tonight. Did I do something to offend you on this fine, and extremely busy workday?” you made sure your words dripped sarcasm, and remained with your feet on the greasy parking lot floor.
“Is this fun for you? Provoking your employees?” Hwiyoung scowled.
“Only when my employees hate their job yet for some reason won’t quit.”
Hwiyoung was losing his patience, and it was very likely that, if he hadn't been interrupted by the car that was directing its headlights at the two of you, you would have kicked him out of the job. He bit the words threatening to spill back, squinting at the car to get a look at the driver, but it was impossible.
“Please get in,” he said then, not liking the way the lights were still focused on you.
“Fine.”
You’re both inside in ten seconds, Hwiyoung turned the car on, its own headlights making it impossible to distinguish the car that was watching you as it leaves the parking lot before you.
“I can tell that you hate me,” you were watching him through the rearview mirror, noticing his grip on the steering wheel tightening at your words. “Your mind was made up even before your first day in this job, and I guess mine is made up now. So just do your job and try not to look so fucking bitter to have me around.”
Hwiyoung didn’t talk back, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. The metallic taste was the only thing that kept him focused on the way to your house as he avoided meeting your penetrating gaze in the mirror.
“You’re spoiled,” he said after you had descended from the van and he’d shut the door with enough force to make the windows rumble. “You act like your life is difficult when all you have to do is smile and wave while looking pretty.”
“You’re right, I look damn good doing it,” you retorted, a dismissive gesture from your hand accompanying your words as you walked to the exit of the garage. “It’s kind of disappointing you couldn’t find a more original reason to hate me, Hwiyoung. I guess you’re as bright as they come.”
The insult stung, but he didn’t want to dig his grave deeper, so Hwiyoung gritted his teeth and stalked on the opposite direction you did, towards his stupid guest house.
IT WAS THE MONEY. It was obvious now, the reason Hwiyoung stayed under your father’s orders and in charge of your protection was the money. Once you realized that, it would be easier to deal with him, or so you thought.
“We’re not going to have this discussion again,” Hwiyoung warned the moment he noticed the way you were eyeing the gun on his side.
“Leave it,” you said all the same.
“No,”
You took a deep breath, looking at your watch. “I’ll double this week’s payment if you leave the gun today.”
Hwiyoung stopped to consider. Well, money was never enough. He could eventually use it to, what? Move away? Get a motorcycle? He wasn’t stupid enough to think money would bring Iseul back.
Iseul whom he missed most in the world and—
“Yes or no,” you stopped his train of thought in a second, making his attention return fully. “Simple question.”
“Fine,” Hwiyoung unfastened the holster tightened in the middle of his abdomen, before running back to his room to put it in the safe. All he would probably have to deal with were nosy reporters and your equally rich friends, he wouldn’t need the gun, and he was able to handle himself pretty well without it either way.
You were already inside the van when he came back, pressuring him to hurry up the moment he opened the driver’s door.
Hwiyoung took a deep breath. Maybe if he had enough money he wouldn’t move away. He would just quit, like you’d suggested the night at the hotel, a couple weeks back.
“Please follow the GPS route I sent to your cell,” you indicated, your mood completely shifted due the lack of argument. See, things could go peacefully with Hwiyoung if he just listened.
“Sure, miss.” he replied, not even bothering to stare at you from the mirror this time.
✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎
You stared at Hwiyoung for a long moment once you got out of the car. The BMW obviously stood out in the street, but you knew it was safe to leave it there, you’d come here a hundred times before.
“What?” he asked, opening his jacket to show you once again he wasn’t carrying a weapon. Which, to be honest was a lie, he had a pocket knife on the inside of the jacket.
“Nothing. Let’s go,” you signaled the gray building down the street where you’d parked, making your way towards it without making sure Hwiyoung followed.
Hwiyoung looked around, already expecting the reporters around. He had figured since he saw the address on his phone that this was another one of your incredibly important PR stunts where the princess of the city needed to be accessible and a saint at the same time.
You glanced at him one last time before knocking on the door of the orphanage. Hwiyoung rolled his eyes behind you, if you asked him to take pictures of you himself…
“Oh, hi y/n!” a woman in her late forties chirped as soon as she opened the door, “It’s great to see you.”
“Hi,” you smiled gently at her too, “I’m sorry for taking so long to come back, I had a couple issues and… well, nevermind.”
“We still got everything you sent, thank you,” the woman squeezed your shoulder in a friendly gesture before fixing her eyes on your companion. “Hwang Narae,” she offered her hand.
Hwiyoung looked at you first but since you didn’t immediately say he was your employee, he took the woman’s hand. “Hwiyoung.”
A little girl popped her head from behind the woman’s legs, looking at Hwiyoung first since they were still shaking hands and then at you. “y/n!” her scream was piercing as she pushed both Narae and Hwiyoung out of the way to hug your legs.
“Hi Bora!”
Hwiyoung couldn’t help but frown as you lifted the small girl in your arms, her already speaking about everything you had missed in the month you hadn’t visited the place. Everyone seemed so familiar with you, it was strange. They all seemed to ignore your last name. He looked around again, expecting the reporters to come walking down the street already taking pictures before you disappeared inside. But they never came.
You spent the morning reading to kids who stared at him suspiciously, before whispering in your ear and asking who he was. Your answer every time being ‘a friend who watches my back’.
Hwiyoung stood back most of the time, only moving when a new volunteer arrived. He stared at them from afar and then returned his attention back to you as you let kids braid your hair and show you drawings.
“Would it bother you to read for them with me?” you asked, showing him a book with a couple of bears on the cover. “They want a boy in the boy voice, I am offended, to be honest.”
Hwiyoung suppressed a smile as the kids looked at the both of you. “Why don’t you ask another volunteer? I have to keep my attention on–”
You frowned, there was only one other male volunteer and he honestly gave you the creeps a lot of the time. But Narae said he was good at fixing broken things, that's why he kept coming. “It will take ten minutes, Hwiyoung. And I really don’t want to ask someone else.”
“Fine,” he eyed the kids and nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Hwiyoung and you read some stories to the kids, taking turns at making the voices. Hwiyoung was trying his best not to burst out laughing every time you exaggerated your voice and kids asked him several times to read his with more enthusiasm, but in the end it turned out well.
It was a brief moment as you closed the book and sent the kids to get ready for their lunch, that Hwiyoung thought you weren’t that bad. Everyone knew you and appreciated you, knowing you were there to help without looking for anything in return, not even publicity. You were still stuck-up, annoying and spoiled, but maybe not all of you was like that.
Narae approached quickly, a hand to her mouth while another volunteer led the kids to the dining room.
“What’s wrong?” Hwiyoung asked, noticing the tension in her demeanor.
“Um, something happened— the car—”
Hwiyoung told you to wait inside while he ran out to the street. He could hear the alarm as he ran to the car, and for a moment, he really wished he had a gun. Someone had tried and practically succeeded to destroy your precious BMW. All the windows were broken, the windshield caved towards the inside and the headlights completely shattered. But not even that was the worst part.
The worst part was the word ‘WHORE’ keyed on the driver’s door.
IT WAS USELESS to try and convince your father that nothing was happening. Especially when Narae had called the police before you could advise her against it and Hwiyoung needed to call the rest of the security team to pick you up, and they had realized he didn’t have his gun.
So all hell broke loose in 20 minutes and it continued on to the evening, when your father losing his mind again, yelled at everyone on sight, taking a great amount of time on Hwiyoung himself.
“What if the freak had still been around huh?” your father’s hand came down on the table, hard enough to make you flinch, even as you listened from upstairs. But Hwiyoung didn’t even flinch, he had been on your father’s side of the table countless times before at his old job. He wasn’t easily intimidated. “You couldn’t have done anything to protect my daughter, because you thought it a good a idea to leave your fucking gun!”
You had explained it had been your idea the moment the rest of the security team realized Hwiyoung was unarmed. You didn’t want a gun around children, this wasn’t supposed to happen and Hwiyoung didn’t have to take the blame for anything.
But everyone refused to listen to you.
“I should fire you right now!” another hit on the table, “You can’t even do your job right!”
Hwiyoung remained silent. He had given his version too, saying you were absolutely right about not wanting a weapon in the orphanage and added that he had a pocket knife anyway, but it didn’t matter. According to everyone you could have gotten killed and he was useless.
“Get out of my sight,” your father finally lowered his voice, “I don’t have time to deal with you right now. But don’t get too comfortable, you might still be out of here by tomorrow.”
Hwiyoung nodded calmly, yet as he kept his hands inside his pockets, they turned into fists.
✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎
HWIYOUNG TOOK THE hit directly to the jaw, his bare back hitting the dirt with a thud. One side of the crowd cheered while the other half booed, a few voices louder than the rest encouraged him to get up. They had bet a lot of money on him, and he was letting them down.
Spitting blood to the dirt, he got up. The guy, his nickname was ‘Brick’ or something like that, was already smiling in triumph. Hwiyoung inhaled sharply, shaking the remnants of his dizziness.
What did it matter if it looked like he’d taken a beating at this point? Mr. y/ln had said he could still be out of the house by the next morning. Which brought him back to the exact place he’d tried to escape in the past months: rock bottom.
No job.
He took a hit to the ribs, not without sinking his own fist in Brick’s stomach’s tender flesh.
No girlfriend.
He wasn’t an idiot, he knew money wouldn’t bring Iseul back. But the day he went to see her, when he needed to be reminded that Iseul was completely different from you, that he dealt with you to get back on his feet. To show Iseul he was coming back from whatever dark place he’d fallen and they could rebuild what was between them.
Hwiyoung never thought that it wouldn’t be Iseul who opened the apartment that they used to share, but an incredibly tall guy who stood there awkwardly as he looked at Hwiyoung in his work suit before Iseul came to the door and told Hwiyoung they couldn’t talk, not right then and apparently, not ever again.
Sweat dripped from his temple and covered the rest of his body by then. What did anything matter anymore? He slid away from the guy’s grip, turning around in the same fluid movement ready to meet him when he came back, his leg meeting Brick’s middle once again.
The crowd cheered for Hwiyoung again when he elbowed the guy in the back and booed when he got brought to the ground again as Brick hugged his legs, and he kicked and kicked, finally making contact with his knee onto this night’s enemy’s nose with a gruesome crack.
“You’re done!” The poor excuse of a referee this place had helped Brick up, blood, snot and tears already staining the rest of his face and down his bare chest.
Hwiyoung spat again, cracking his neck once he was back on his feet. His left eye was already swelling and he was sure the thing running down his temple wasn’t just sweat. But he’d won, he could afford a new week on Chani’s couch.
“I need my money,” he said, throwing his shirt on.
The guy, still attending to Brick’s broken nose, threw him a bunch of bills tied together by a rubber band. “You should go missing again if you’re going to play like this,” he spat.
Hwiyoung snorted. He wasn’t even the dirtiest player in the ring. “Or he should learn not to celebrate beforehand,” and anyway, he’d brought Hwiyoung to the ground dirty. Not that there were many rules in this fighting ring anyway.
“Get out of here,” the referee growled. It wasn’t just Hwiyoung that made him furious, he had to pay all of those who’d bet on him too.
“Gladly.”
YOU RAN OUT of the house as soon as you saw the lights on Hwiyoung’s guest house on. Although you were curious about where the hell he’d been all evening after the argument with your father, what was driving you to meet him was paying off your debt. And letting him know your father was not going to fire him, you had talked him down a few hours before, when he finally decided to listen to reason.
“I am telling you, dad,” you said, arms crossed above your chest. “It was not his fault. I did not want a gun around children, and I stand by it. When I go back to the orphanage he will be unarmed again.”
“You could have been seriously hurt,” your father didn’t raise his voice the way he’d done with Hwiyoung. Instead, he sounded exhausted. “And he wouldn’t have been able to do anything in case whoever did that to your car…”
“Dad, you didn’t hire him just because he could fire a gun, did you?”
To be honest, you had absolutely no idea what Hwiyoung used to do before he took this job. However, you knew your dad had seen something in him and whatever qualifications he had to hire him to take care of you, his precious daughter.
“No but—”
“It would be unfair if you fired him, I’m just saying.”
“He cannot put you in danger again—”
“No one could have known what was going to happen, please dad. I believe I need him now, okay? I will stop complaining about having a bodyguard if Hwiyoung can keep his job.” you were surprised by your own words, but you felt guilty about getting him fired when a big part of the trouble had been caused by your coercing.
Plus, what if the next bodyguard your father got you hated you more than Hwiyoung? You couldn’t go through the whole issue again. You had reached a certain level of understanding with Hwiyoung, you would rather keep it that way.
“Fine. But this is the last time.” your father agreed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎
You knocked on Hwiyoung’s door twice. Tapping your door against the entryway as you heard shuffling inside.
“What?” Hwiyoung opened the door, clearly expecting someone else.
“What the hell happened to you?” you gasped, pushing the door open before he could shut it on your face.
“Are you here to tell me I’m fired?” Hwiyoung asked, his gaze following you as you made your way to the small bathroom. Probably checking he hadn’t left bloodstains that wouldn’t come off.
“Shut up,” you said, opening the bathroom cabinet. “Who did that to you?”
“Myself,” Hwiyoung held the door open, “You know, firing someone doesn’t usually take long. You can get started now.”
“You’re not fired,” you scoffed, grabbing bandages and antiseptic, both packaged unopened. “Yet.”
Hwiyoung tried to smile with irony, but winced. “You know, I was about to go to bed so it would be great if—”
“Sit down Hwiyoung,” you said, getting out of the bathroom. “You’re going to get an infection or something. Where the hell were you?”
“I can do this myself,” he said, still standing by the doorway. “I do not need you to play nurse.”
“Were you going to do it?” you raised an eyebrow at him, “You would have started by now.”
“I can do it now.”
“You know what? I’d like to play nurse and fire you at the same time. Humor me.” you pointed at the kitchen chairs and Hwiyoung finally shut the door. It was clear you weren’t leaving.
“Who taught you to fight?” you kicked his leg softly, standing between them as he spread on the chair reluctantly.
Hwiyoung snorted, regretting it immediately as you dabbed a cotton ball against the cut on his forehead. “Are you seeing me? What makes you think I can fight?”
Dropping the cotton ball, you grabbed his hand. There was dried blood on his knuckles, indication that he’d gotten at least a few punches in.
“Lucky strikes,” he muttered, in a slight mocking tone. “We all have them.”
“Oh, so we should tell the police you got assaulted then?”
Hwiyoung took his hand back, like you’d burnt him. “No.”
“I have a feeling the other guy ended up worse, didn’t he?” you pointed at the knee of his pants, where Brick’s blood had dried up. “So you know how to fight.”
Hwiyoung rolled his eyes. “And?”
“And you’re going to teach me,” you moved on to clean the trail of blood from the corner of his mouth to his jaw.
This time, Hwiyoung laughed audibly, grabbing his ribs when pain shot through them.
“I’m not joking,” you poked his swollen cheekbone and he winced. “After today it’s clear I’m in danger. You’re keeping your job and this proves even more useful,”
“Seriously?” he questioned, although he wasn’t sure if he meant that he was keeping his job or that you really wanted to learn how to throw punches.
“You cannot go back to wherever you did this,” you warned, shaking your head. “Do you understand?”
“What makes you think I’ll accept to stay?”
You had walked away, opening the small fridge to try and find something he could put on his closing eye. “Because you still need the money, don’t you?”
Hwiyoung bit his tongue as you returned with a frozen package of vegetables he’d never gotten around to cook.
“Yes or no, simple question,” you said like you’d done hours prior.
“Yes.”
“Then it’s settled. Put this on and tomorrow, when everyone notices you look like shit, say you broke up a bar fight.”
“Of course, boss,” the fact that you helped him didn’t mean he’d lose his sarcasm.
You looked at the mess around the kitchen and shook your head. He could at least clean up after you had patched him.
“And take a shower, you stink.” you conveyed, scowling.
Hwiyoung watched you leave, holding the vegetables against his face. He didn’t notice the money you left on the kitchen table until the next morning, inside a white envelope with his name on it in your handwriting.
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warning: a little nsfw (it never goes further than making out, though !), mentions of alcohol/drinking, curse words, Hwiyoung calling you princess (in the most gender-neutral way)
pairing: playboy!college!Hwiyoung × never been loved!(gn)reader
summary: y/n is just a little sick of never having dated anyone or doing anything remotely similar, so they call upon their college's playboy to teach them just what it all feels like. and then they maybe sorta accidentally fall in love <3
word count: idk but it's 1k+ but definitely less than 5k maybe i think
[a/n]: btw i dont know how to kiss either so pls ignore anything thats wrong :")
[x]
another shitty day at your shitty college, sitting in the shitty front row of the shitty lecture hall. the prof who clearly doesn't want to be there any more than you do begins his boring lecture. his monotone voice makes you drowsy and you almost fall asleep... until you feel someone kicking you from behind.
snickers.
snickers follow the kicking when you turn around, as Hwiyoung and his cohort try to hold back their laughter, looking away from you. clearly, one of them kicked you. clearly, they're tryna mess with you.
you look forward at the prof, who somehow is noticing none of this even though you're right at the front. what's more surprising is that Hwiyoung is behind you, though, and not at the back of the lecture hall.
"can i help you?" you quietly ask the annoying people behind you.
"why are you glaring? go back to your nap, y/n," Hwiyoung spits out, laughing.
you shake your head and turn back to the front, unbothered. they're like this with everyone, annoying like school kids even though you're in your junior year of college now.
once class ends, you make your way out of there as quick as possible, overhearing one of Hwiyoung's friends saying, "clear signs that y/n lives a lonely life."
you scoff hearing that and roll your eyes, but you know it's true.
-
waiting for the bus, you watch as Hwiyoung leans against his huge, obnoxious motorcycle. he runs his fingers through his hair, holding his helmet with his free hand. you just know he knows people are watching and loves it. some pretty girl walks up to his and he hugs her in a way that suggests something more than friends... although, many of the people in his life are more than friends.
"Hwiyoung sleeps around with everyone, doesn't he?" you overhear someone also waiting for the bus saying.
"that's the 5th girl i've seen him with this week, and it's only Tuesday."
you shake your head, and right as you do, Hwiyoung meets your eyes. maybe you're imagining things, but you can swear he's looking at you when he throws you that smirk before riding off with that girl holding onto him.
-
hugging your pillow tightly, you fight back tears as another episode of your favourite k-drama ends. the two leads end this episode with a passionate kiss, and you squeeze your pillow.
when will that ever happen to me, you think, frowning.
your phone vibrates and you check who messaged you. it's your friend, sending you photos of them on a date with their s/o yet again. you groan at the horrible timing and let your body fall backwards onto your bed.
for some reason, Hwiyoung comes to mind. he must be having so much fun with that girl right now, you think.
to lighten your sour mood, you reach into your fridge for some drinks and start blasting some of your favourite happy songs. dancing the night away in the dark of your apartment, lit only by a few candles and your TV screen, you feel drunk as time passes.
luckily, you're on your own, so you won't make any mistakes, right?
hm, i wonder what Hwiyoung is up to, your drunken mind thinks. your drunken mind also tells you that it would be a great idea to text him right now.
HWiyoung! whats uo ?
y/n? why are you messaging me?
ok ridue. your're so mean
what's ridue? is everything okay?
okay? hah! since when have htings every been okay?
life sucks ! i';m so lovey nnnn i'im so loneoly,,,, i'm oloveby
okay, i have no clue what you're saying right now.
your phone slips out of your hands as it starts to ring, and you bend over to pick it up. Hwiyoung's calling, and you don't hesitate even for a moment before answering.
"y/n, can you tell me why you're messaging me like that?" he asks. "i'm busy right now, you know."
"yeah, with that bitch?" you spit out.
"what bitch? i guess you're right, cause i'm talking to a bitch on the phone right now, huh."
"fuck you!"
there's a moment of silence as Hwiyoung seems to realize what's happening.
"are you drunk right now, y/n?"
"drunk? what's that? krunk? hahaha!" you slur, falling onto your bed.
"listen, i don't know why you messaged me when you're drunk, but contact someone else to come help you out, okay?" Hwiyoung says before hanging up.
your phone falls to the ground again as you shut your eyes, falling asleep.
-
bzzzz. bzzzzz. bzzzzzzzzzzzz--
"y/n! wake up!" your friend screams into your ear when you finally answer his call.
"hm?"
"class is starting and attendance is mandatory, remember? we're watching our classmates present, today!" Taeyang tells you.
"oh, fuck!" you shriek, sitting up... but a splitting headache forces you back down onto the bed.
"you better come here in five minutes, or you'll lose a huge chunk of your grade," Taeyang says before hanging up.
he sounds just like a professor, you think to yourself.
for the sake of these free attendance marks, you manage to throw some clothes on, chug some water and fill your water bottle before leaving. you just know you look like a mess, but you couldn't care less right now.
you make it just in time, hobbling over to where Taeyang has saved a seat for you in the back.
"why do you look so... god, you smell like alcohol!" Taeyang whines.
"shut up," you groan, drinking from your water bottle.
"so you were drunk last night, huh y/n?" Hwiyoung asks, walking behind you to find a seat.
you ignore him and he smirks, continuing to walk past you.
"what the hell was that?" Taeyang asks.
"i don't know... all i know is that i need to find myself an s/o, 'cause i'm going insane."
Taeyang shakes his head at you.
"i have no clue what you're on about, and i don't even want to know."
-
that night, you're drinking again. this time, you're not drunk, sticking to only one can and something that has low alcohol content. it helps you think more clearly, and you wonder about what the solution to your lonely problem could be.
some people are fine with being single, but it's not that way for you. people make fun of you for it and it drives you insane, it's damaging your mental health and your grades are plummeting because of it. it may sound dramatic, but it seems like you can't do anything until you get an s/o.
why can't you get an s/o?
it has nothing to do with looks, nor personality. is it... your lack of experience? your lack of skill? but how can you gain any of those things without an s/o in the first place...
you gently pat your head, urging it to find an idea.
oh! Hwiyoung! Hwiyoung is the answer! as a notorious player, teaching you how to do something like kissing for example won't be a big deal, right? it's not like he's devoted to any one s/o... he's always sleeping around with anyone, so maybe you could turn yourself into one of those people to gain the experience you need to date?
your logic is a little insane, but it seems to work. with the alcohol in your system providing you with all the confidence you need, you send a message to Hwiyoung before shutting off your phone and heading off to bed, satisfied with yourself.
hey, Hwiyoung! firstly i'm sorry for drunk-texting you. i actually have a favour to ask. this is super absurd... i don't think i can even say it through text. could you come to my apartment tomorrow, saturday afternoon, so i can explain? my address is ________
-
the next morning, you wake up to the sun hitting your face. you sit up and stretch, checking your phone to see who texted you. there's a messaging from Hwiyoung saying he'll be there at 3.
huh? there's a message from Hwiyoung?!
you type out a message to say you've changed your mind, then delete it. it just wouldn't make sense for you to back out without even having told Hwiyoung what all of this was about.
you could always lie when he gets here and make up some other favour... but it just wouldn't make sense.
you're caught in a strange place and all you can do is wash up, eat breakfast and at least try to study before Hwiyoung gets there.
-
[a/n]: joker by big naughty fits this part really well and i just can't explain why.. it's like the soundtrack
the doorbell to your apartment rings and you jump off your desk, racing to open the door. you take a few deep breaths first, straighten your shirt and then enter.
"hi, y/n..." Hwiyoung says in a deep voice. he opts for awkwardly waving at you rather than hugging or shaking your hand, since he doesn't know you all too well.
he looks around your apartment right away when he steps inside and removes his shoes. this is all so y/n, even though i don't even know them that well, he thinks to himself.
"so what's the favour, princess?" he asks, sitting on your couch.
your ears twitch at the sudden pet name.
"well... why don't i grab you a drink first. do you want tea? coffee?" you ask, just trying to avoid the inevitable.
"coffee should do it," he says, leaning back.
you can't help but admire how good he looks as you make the coffee. his hair is slightly wet and very curly, sticking to his forehead because of the rain outside. his tight, black jeans don't miss a single curve of his legs, and the black leather jacket that he wears over his white t-shirt shines under the ceiling lights.
you suck in a breath and look away, returning to the coffee packets and mugs in your hands.
"here you go," you say, finally handing him a mug.
he thanks you and blows over the drink before taking a sip.
"now will you tell me what i'm here for?" Hwiyoung asks, eyeing you.
you scratch the back of your head, nervous but ready to just get it over with.
"yeah, so... i need you to teach me something. i'm not sure who else i can ask."
Hwiyoung raises an eyebrow at you, clearly intrigued.
you clear your throat and sit up straight, heart racing in your chest. hey, if this gets weird or he doesn't agree, you can just move on and avoid him for the rest of your life!
it won't be that easy, though.
you squeeze your eyes tightly shut.
"i need you to teach me... how to kiss," you mumble, hoping he heard you.
"how to kiss?" he repeats but louder.
you nod, avoiding his eyes, and he smirks at you.
"well where did you get that filthy idea from, princess? are you just tryna get in bed with me?" he asks, the tone of his voice low.
"no! no, i swear no! this is genuinely just.. kissing and nothing else!" you clarify.
he cocks his head to one side, still smirking at you.
"well, what's in it for me?"
you bite your lip. you hadn't thought that far...
"my grades are suffering. if you could help me with that, i'd appreciate it," Hwiyoung offers.
"tutoring? sure, i can definitely tutor you!" you agree.
Hwiyoung nods.
"are we starting right away today, or?" he asks.
your heart races at the thought, and you stay silent.
"okay, looks like you need some time. what day, when and where am i meeting you?" Hwiyoung asks.
"Same time, same place, same day of the week as today," you say.
He nods again, standing up to leave.
"sounds great. i'll see myself out, then, princess."
Hwiyoung leaves, his half empty coffee cup still steaming on the coffee table. you're left wondering how this all ended up working out.
-
exactly a week later, you're just the same. peacefully studying at your desk, or trying to, when the doorbell rings and you jump up to open the door. Hwiyoung looks the same, too. his hair still long and curled, his clothes still black leather jacket on white tee over black skinny jeans.
"am i teaching you first or are you teaching me first?" he asks, setting down his bag.
"i think it would be better for my anxiety if you taught me first," you say, knowing you wouldn't be able to focus on tutoring if you knew that Hwiyoung would be kissing you just moments later.
"okay.. are you fine with sitting on the couch?" Hwiyoung asks.
you nod, and the two of you sit beside each other. there's a huge gap between the two of you, and Hwiyoung chuckles.
"come closer. i can't just kiss the air, princess," he points out.
you shuffle forward 'til you're close enough.
"okay... so what exactly am i teaching you? the types of kisses? how to kiss?" Hwiyoung asks.
"how... to kiss," you mumble.
"okay, princess. so, have you kissed before?" Hwiyoung asks.
you shake your head, no, and he grins as you hang your head low.
"so i'll be your first kiss? is that... okay?"
you look up at him, a little shocked that someone like him is concerned about someone like that. nonetheless, you nod, yes.
"okay, well, when you kiss... you can't just go straight in, or your noses will hit each other's and that'll suck. you have to go in with your head tilted, like this."
naturally, Hwiyoung's hand reaches up to hold the back of your head. he draws close, tilting his head to demonstrate. his lips are just centimetres away from yours, but he doesn't let them touch. you let out a huge breath of air after he moves away. your heart was racing and he hadn't even kissed you, yet! so what would a kiss with Hwiyoung be like then?
"S-so... did you get that?" Hwiyoung falters, clearing his throat and hoping he won't stutter again.
something was off about that... something was off when he leaned in. immediately, he felt his face getting red and his heart hammering in his chest. that stuff never happens to him. maybe it's 'cause he's being put on the spot and asked to teach how to kiss?
"yeah, i got it," you mutter, nodding along.
"it's also helpful to do stuff with your hand. you noticed how i was holding the back of your head, right? stuff like that makes it better and more... enjoyable?"
"so i should hold the back of your head, too?" you shyly ask.
"only, if you want, princess. you can also hold the person's face or cheek or whatever, like this--"
Hwiyoung large, warm hand cups your left cheek. his thumb swipes back and forth over your face.
"doing something like this is good, t-too," Hwiyoung stutters yet again, blown away by how the contact of his hand and your soft face is making his heart race again.
he carefully pulls away, weirded out by his own emotions.
"what else?" you ask, eager to know more.
"uh... well some people also like to run their fingers through the other person's hair... or have their arms around the other person's shoulders, waist or neck. sometimes rubbing their back, sides... it's all up to you. i think it'll just come naturally to you in the moment when you figure it out, princess," Hwiyoung explains.
you nod, pressing your lips together.
"i'll try actually kissing you this time, if that's okay," Hwiyoung says.
you slowly nod.
"just close your eyes and try to follow me, okay? it's okay if it's messy or weird. you'll figure it out with time."
for some reason, Hwiyoung feels the need to be gentle with you. that's why he keeps clarifying, asking if you're okay, and taking things so slowly.
he holds your face in both hands and leans in... then he stops and lets out a laugh.
"close your eyes, princess. it's so much easier that way. and there's no need to pucker your lips like that."
you feel super embarrassed but do as he says, and this time, Hwiyoung properly closes the gap between the two of you.
his lips feel soft and magical on top of yours. your hands, which are at your sides, ball into fists as butterflies rage within you. so this is what it must feel like, you realize.
Hwiyoung finds himself stroking your cheeks with his thumbs as his lips are still pressed to yours. it's a completely unconscious gesture, and so is him gently tilting your head back to deepen the kiss. he feels your lips part as you let out a gasp, and he wastes no time in entering with his tongue, exploring the inside of your mouth.
he pulls back to chew on your bottom lip slightly before he realizes that he's completely gone overboard and he should probably stop, now. so, he slowly pulls away, your face still in his hands until he lets go.
the way you're glowing makes his heart race even faster, and so does the way your eyelids slowly flutter open.
"i-i'm really sorry, i went overboard--" Hwiyoung starts.
"is that what it's like?" you ask.
"hm?"
"is that what... kissing is like?"
"uh... yeah?"
you burst into a smile, touching your lips with your fingers. Hwiyoung's face becomes a mirror of yours, a smiling mess.
"i-i think it's best we stop here for the day, princess. can you tutor me now, instead?" Hwiyoung asks.
you nod, telling him you'll grab your notes from your room and will be back. in the meantime, Hwiyoung shakily reaches for his own things. he feels so weird... his heart has not stopped pounding and he wonders if it's some kind of health problem. his face and ears feel hot. he tries to remember if this has ever happened before with any of the other people he's been with... but no. perhaps it's just your shyness rubbing off on him!
when you come back, you help him go over the most important things: the units that will be on the upcoming tests. you kindly explain and re-explain anything that Hwiyoung doesn't understand, help him go through some practice problems, and even help him make a test review.
hours pass with the two of you studying like that, until you notice your living room has gone dark. the sun has set!
"oh... i should probably get going," Hwiyoung says, starting to pack up.
"but you didn't even eat anything! i'm so sorry--"
"no, it's okay, princess. you can feed me next time, okay? i'll be off," Hwiyoung says, standing up and quickly walking to your door.
you watch him open it and step out, closing it behind him.
-
during the week, at your classes, you and Hwiyoung act like strangers. it's only on those saturday afternoons that the two of you get intimate.
on another one of those afternoons, you're tugging at Hwiyoung's hair as he kisses you deeply. he lets out a moan right into your mouth before he breathlessly pulls away.
"princess, that... had no right to feel that good," he says, stroking his own hair and wondering why he felt so good when you pulled on it.
"that means i'm doing a good job, right?" you ask, smiling brightly.
"y-yeah."
"well let's move to the homework i gave you last week so i can see if you're doing a good job, too," you say.
Hwiyoung pouts slightly but still pulls out his work. you sit close to him as you explain, and he can't help but stare at your side profile as you talk.
"Hwiyoung? are you daydreaming again? i asked if you could explain how you got to this answer."
"a-ah, yeah..."
after another hour of tutoring him, Hwiyoung leaves your apartment. his legs feel weak as he walks towards the elevator. reaching for his chest, he feels his heart racing yet again. this really isn't good.
he pulls out his phone and asks to meet with an old friend of his.
-
"wait so... this person you didn't care for at all asked you to teach them how to kiss, and now you're catching feelings?!" Chani clarifies.
Hwiyoung puts down his glass, hard, onto the bar counter.
"no, i'm not catching feelings! i'm telling you i'm getting heart problems whenever i go there, and it's been getting worse," Hwiyoung explains.
"have you ever caught feelings before?" Chani asks his friend.
Hwiyoung blinks back in response, staying silent.
"exactly, so of course you wouldn't know that this is what it's like to catch feelings."
"no... it can't be. right?" Hwiyoung asks, taking a long sip of his drink.
"it definitely is. and you're telling me you're always sad when you have to stop kissing them, that every move they make drives you insane, even though they don't kiss you well. man, if that isn't catching feelings, then i don't know what is!"
"i don't know anything about them, though. i only see them on those saturday afternoons," Hwiyoung says.
"do you want to know more about them?"
"yeah," Hwiyoung mindlessly mutters.
"well, there you have it. you're literally whipped!"
"huh? wait, no--"
"just accept it, Hwiyoung. accept it and go learn more about them, already. i've been worried about you. you always fuck people without feeling a thing but pleasure. you've never cared for anyone except for your friends, and even then, all your friendships are fake except ours."
Hwiyoung tightly holds the glass in his hand. Chani's right, but it hurts.
"quit being a coward, okay? just see where your feelings take you!"
-
sat in your lecture hall, you scramble to copy Taeyang's notes. he watches over you, shaking his head.
"i can't believe you went to a party again this saturday and didn't get to do your work. firstly, you went without me, secondly, how do you keep going every single saturday?" he asks.
you tell him to shut up so you can finish writing, until a tall body approaches you, towering over you. when you look up, you meet eyes with Hwiyoung, who has a nervous expression on his face.
"hi, y/n. is the spot next to you taken?" he asks.
"yeah it--" Taeyang starts, but you cut him off.
"no! you can sit, if you'd like," you say.
Hwiyoung thanks you in a low voice and takes a seat, pulling out his stuff to start studying.
"wow, Hwiyoung is actually prepared for class? Shocking." Taeyang remarks.
"actually y/n has been tutoring--" Hwiyoung starts. you quickly cover his mouth with your hand.
"Hwiyoung's just changed, i guess!" you say, panicked.
Taeyang throws you a weird look, but doesn't question things any further. you move your hand away and mumble an apology to Hwiyoung, who just smirks at you.
once class starts, the three of you are silent as you focus on the lecture. Hwiyoung doesn't make a ruckus anymore, and you feel proud to see he's actually started to change after you began tutoring him.
"hey... wanna go to a place you like to grab some food?" Hwiyoung asks you once the lecture ends.
you don't know why he's suddenly attempting to befriend you, but you can't say no to him, either. Taeyang has to rush off to his next class, and you tell him you'll fill him in on things later. he throws you a wink before he leaves, and you yell at him to stop being so annoying.
"have fun getting laid," he whispers in your ear before running off.
Hwiyoung watches your interaction with Taeyang while smiling wildly. so this is how you treat your loved ones? this is how you joke around with your friends? why is his heart fluttering ?!
"let's go! i know a good off-campus place that's nearby," you declare.
you don't realize it, but a lot of people are watching you and Hwiyoung. some of them even try to take stealthy photos, too. Hwiyoung is used to this, but he doesn't want you to get hurt by the rumours that they'll probably be spreading.
he takes off his leather jacket and throws it on your head.
when you question him for that, he just says, "keep it on, princess. a lot of people are watching, and i don't want you to get hurt by any rumours they could spread about you."
you wear it like one of those runaways in a historical kdrama, who wears a robe over their head to hide themselves.
"should we just run?" you ask Hwiyoung, looking up at him.
he smiles slightly and nods. you don't even think about it when you reach for his hand and start to run, pulling him along with you. everyone on campus wonders who the daring person is that is pulling Hwiyoung along with intertwined fingers, and why and how you're making him smile so hard.
neither of you notice the stares anymore, though. even Hwiyoung is entirely fixated on you and the way you breathlessly laugh as you try to run to the place you were headed.
once you finally make it there and pull open the door, the two of you shake yourselves off and walk inside, still laughing. Hwiyoung then takes in the place you brought him too, trying to remember every detail.
the two of you talk over food as if you're normal friends, not strangers who would meet once a week to do each other favours. Hwiyoung asks you a lot of questions and the conversation never runs dry. he nods and listens carefully each time you answer, and you can imagine him jotting down your answers--that's how earnestly he listens to you.
you start to see him in a new light. not as the popular jerk of your campus anymore,, but as someone you maybe actually care for? and want to spend time with? yet you can't help but worry about if he even feels the same way at all.
by the time the two of you leave, it's dark outside. Hwiyoung offers to walk you home, but you say it's all good.
"call me when you get home at least, okay?" he asks as you walk further away.
you nod, but then wonder why he asked you to call and not text. still, you end up calling him, and your phone call with him lasts way past midnight.
he listens to you fall asleep, your answers turning into hums until all he hears are your soft breaths.
"sleep well, y/n," he says before hanging up.
-
Hwiyoung spends more time with you from that day on, and Taeyang is very suspicious. he notes the way Hwiyoung looks at you with genuine care and adoration, not the empty lust he'd usually look at people with.
"y/n... i think Hwiyoung likes you," Taeyang tells you one day in the library.
"what?!" you exclaim, almost dropping your bag that you had just picked up.
"he looks at you... in a certain way... like he loves you."
you shake your head at Taeyang, but secretly wonder if his words could hold any truth to them.
"hey, y/n! and Taeyang!" Hwiyoung greets you both.
Taeyang raises an eyebrow at you, probably trying to point out how Hwiyoung said your name first.
"ready to go?" Hwiyoung asks, and you both nod.
he had texted you saying he wants to take you both somewhere and that it's a surprise. you feel suspicious about all this, but you find it hard to say no to Hwiyoung.
you walk in between the two boys, listening to Taeyang's complaints about a professor for one of your classes. Hwiyoung slips his hand into yours, taking your hand with his into his pocket. when you look up at him, he simply smiles while looking at the ground.
butterflies rage within you and you furrow your eyebrows together, trying to get it to stop.
"everything okay, y/n?" Taeyang asks.
"y-yeah," you stutter in response.
Taeyang continues talking, Hwiyoung continues stealing glances at you while he holds your hand, and you continue trying to get the heart fluttering feeling in your stomach to stop.
"where are you taking us, Hwiyoung?" Taeyang asks.
Hwiyoung smirks, then says, "don't kill me, but i'm taking you to a party. a lot of my old friends are there, and honestly i'm just a bit sick of them. i'd rather hang around with you two..."
"well then you could've ditched the party and we couldv'e went elsewhere?" Taeyang points out.
Hwiyoung shakes his head and says, "no, they'll kill me if i don't show up. you'll do me this one favour, right?"
Hwiyoung starts rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, and you feel electricity all over your arm. your breath hitches in your throat and you can't think clearly.
"well... if y/n's okay with it," Taeyang says.
Hwiyoung looks at you with an expression that you can't resist... and that's how you end up at a loud house party. it's not a place you'd usually be at.
Taeyang gets drunk just 20 minutes in and joins the people who are dancing in the livingroom, leaving you and Hwiyoung to yourselves. Hwiyoung keeps you close, your arms looped. you, on the other hand, keep a close eye on Taeyang.
"are you worried about him?" Hwiyoung asks, concern on his face.
you nod, and Hwiyoung calls over one of his friends.
"Chani! can you do me a favour? can you keep an eye on that boy right there?"
Hwiyoung's friend, Chani, rolls his eyes but walks over to the livingroom, taking over the dj booth and watching over Taeyang.
"is that okay?" Hwiyoung asks.
you nod, but still feel slightly uneasy.
"are you okay?" Hwiyoung asks, pulling you closer.
you don't know how to respond. you're not sure if it's because you're pressed this close to Hwiyoung that you feel so warm or because it's so packed in this house.
Hwiyoung's lips curl into a tight smile.
"i'll just say hi to a few more people and then we can leave, okay? they'll be too drunk to even notice we're gone," Hwiyoung says.
you pout at him but still follow his lead as he introduces you to people that you doubt you'll ever remember later. his introductions lead you to a bedroom where a few people are talking.
"your s/o?" someone asks Hwiyoung, looking at you.
he smiles in response but doesn't say anything. it makes you feel uneasy.
"well, we're off for some more drinks. you can have this room to yourselves," Hwiyoung's friend says before the group of people leave.
you and Hwiyoung are left alone in that room, all to yourselves.
"well... we should leave, now," Hwiyoung says, moving towards the door.
yet something within you makes you stop him. you reach out to pull on his sleeve.
"Hwiyoung... i need to make something clear," you say, "what are we? what's going on with us? we stopped meeting on weekends to... do whatever we were doing before and now we're acting like friends... but suddenly you take hold of my hand like it's nothing?"
you feel relieved getting all of this off your chest. it's all been like an itch, bothering you in the most lowkey of ways but eventually making you lose your cool.
"we.. can be whatever you want us to be, princess," Hwiyoung says in a low voice, taking your hand in his.
"but what do you want us to be?"
"i don't know. i'm not fond of labels and i don't really get them, but i just want to be close to you, princess. i want to listen to you, be here for you and have you at my side at all times."
you blink at him as he speaks, and he smiles.
"i want this, too," he says before he suddenly presses his lips to yours.
as if you've been yearning for this, your instincts immediately take over. your mouth knows to follow his lead, your hands know to gently pull on and stroke Hwiyoung's hair, and you still feel just as many butterflies as you always have.
you pull away for a second to catch your breath, and you meet Hwiyoung's eyes. like Taeyang told you, there's something different about them. they sparkle and you can see yourself inside them.
you're about to lean in again, but Hwiyoung gently stops you.
"i'm scared i'll take things too far, so let's stop here, princess" he almost whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead before guiding you out of the room.
you feel dazed as he guides you out, calling a drunk Taeyang over and helping him walk as the three of you head back to campus to part ways. all you can think about is how you know exactly what you and Hwiyoung are, but at the same time, you know nothing at all.
with Taeyang safely home, Hwiyoung walks you home, and it's then that you muster up the courage again to clarify things once more.
"Hwiyoung... do you... like me?" you ask.
he takes a hand out of the pocket of his jeans and uses it to grab hold of one of yours.
"i guess so," he says.
his lack of confidence makes you uneasy, yet again.
"does this mean we're lovers?" you ask.
"do you want us to be?" Hwiyoung asks back, looking at you.
you nod, yes, and he smiles, patting your head.
"then we're lovers, 'til death do us part," Hwiyoung says, dramatically.
both of your laughs fill up the night and Hwiyoung swings his arm in yours, pulling you closer.
well, this isn't the happy ending you'd imagined. your first 'relationship' isn't even a proper relationship at all, but you've still got someone to love and be loved by, right?
