hi!! i got a question! while i dont feel ready for a relationship just yet (still recovering from a bad breakup and my first breakup ever lol) i wanna take as much time to be the best i can be for someone else!
what ways do YOU like to be cared for as a cg? like is there anything that "fills ur cup" coming from a regressor? ik caregiver fatigue is real so what would recharging look like for u as a cg? and how ideally would a regressor help with that recharging?
apologies for all the questions 😅 if u dont feel comfy answering then dont feel pressured to!
-moo-moos
oh wow this is a really good question I don't see talked about nearly enough, thank you moo-moos! I hope you heal, and I'm so sorry you're experiencing that!
im going to answer from personal experience, but as always anyone is free to add to it in comments / reblogs!
as a caregiver, the most rewarding thing is being reminded i'm doing a good job, too, and that my kids are happy. a simple "thanks, dad!" can go a long way, but also just kinda being told i'm doing good, i'm helping them, and especially hearing if what i'm doing was making them feel comfortable / safe / happy / better.
recharging usually happens after a "successful" regression day for my kid(s). it's kind of hard to explain, but if the day ends with them saying they feel better, or that they had a good day, it makes any weight on my chest feel lighter.
(the day can include a thousand tantrums, spilled milk, juice, and water, and anything else that can go wrong - but if they say it felt good for them, if they say we managed to recover and end it on a good note, that's all that matters.)
bad days happen, too, of course, but as long as we’re able to resolve things eventually, that makes me feel a lot better and more secure too. even if it takes a while, or talks outside of our dynamic, etc - as long as we can get to the point of the issue and deal with it, my dad heart is happy.
usually if im feeling a bit low, or tired, my kid(s) and i have a discussion on what we both need. my caregiving usually is affected by my work and health, but my regressor is also my wife / partner, so they usually know what's going on and are there to ask what I need and help guide me into a plan that works for us both.
i had this in our drafts for a while, written by percy, but i’m just going to add that i think having patience, kindness, and love on both sides goes a really long way. it’s important to remember that both sides are being vulnerable - caregiving can be just as much of a coping mechanism as regressing, and can include sensitive or negative feelings. being able to rely on your dynamic and have safety within it to feel those things is extremely important!
