ινιαηηα ★

⇆ vivamus, moriendum est. "life is beautiful, but you don't have a clue" 8teen ‹𝟹

[grabmyboner]

ilya: [lighting a cigarette with a backwards hat on, covered in sweat, flushed from dancing in the club] you having fun, moya lyubov'?

shane, drunkenly: could yuo put that out on me

[grabmyboner]

something something shane doing push ups and ilya laying underneath him NOT letting shane kiss him on each drop down and shane’s just heavy breathing a hair away from his lips every time he holds it for three seconds and his eyes are hooded and keep flickering from ilya’s eyes to his lips and he keeps pumping up and down up and down up and down and his sweat starts to slide down his face and ilya restrains from licking it up and oh would you know it shane drops down and his hard cock presses against ilya’s already hard cock and he holds his position just a tiny bit above ilya with their clothed dicks heavy against each other and shane starts shaking with the effort to hold himself and then ilya’s legs slowly find themselves opening for shane to slowly slowly drop into the space made just for him and his hands on either side of Ilya’s head are red from the pressure and then he’s diving mouth open down on Ilya and ilya reciprocates it just as filthily licking at the sweat on his lips and into his warm mouth and something something you see the vision yes ?

[roselandries]

Shane mentioning his high school girlfriend and Ilya getting jealous and saying "you have big cock but is useless. poor girl didn't know. you do not know how to fuck. only how to be fucked." and Shane gets pissed because he knows how to fuck! and Ilya laughs and grabs his crotch and says "this is real cock meant for fucking. you have pretty cock meant for decoration. for looking. maybe sucking." and Shane says he's mad but he's hard about it still

[lavenderprose]

[Rose Landry voice] His birthday is June 15th? Oh my god he's a Gemini. Oh my god Shane it all makes sense now. No babe listen--do you know what time he was born--can you ask--

[lavenderprose]

[Rose Landry voice] His birthday is June 15th? Oh my god he's a Gemini. Oh my god Shane it all makes sense now. No babe listen--do you know what time he was born--can you ask--

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Now imagine Ilya giving the equivalent to his intense "I. Need. To. Win, fucking FUCK SAN FRANCISCO" speech to the Centaurs before game seven of the playoffs finals, the air is hot with anticipation, Ilya is the general leading them into war and they would all follow him into death and beyond, and Shane gets so hard and so buzzy and subby, the only thing that keeps him from passing out because horny for his feral man is that said man is yelling at them to LOCK the fuck IN and win that motherfucking cup and not that Shane wouldn't be deadset determined to do that anyway but now Ilya basically doms him around on top of it, and Shane CANNOT disobey that command even if he TRIED, his fueled by arousal and he need to please & he will skate like a demon possessed to get them the next cup win

[the-witch-of-the-wandering-ways]

My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug

[gaynehollander]

I just can't get over how much Shane loves taking cock (Ilya's cock specifically). He's salivating, he's dropping to his knees at the slightest provocation, he's refusing to let him leave until he's tasted him even after getting fucked, the moment of penetration is a religion experience, the stretch of it, the ache, the feeling of finally being whole, he wants harder, he wants more, he wants it all the time. He just fucking loves it. And I love that for him.

[loontattoo]

I'm allowed to be a little parasocial because I am famously normal

[dontworryfolkswetookallherteeth]

Love how in Gamechangers Scott is all "I need to build a life outside of hockey. This isn't healthy. Kip has an arts degree and a job and a social life"

Then you read Common Goal and find out that when Kip has a shift Scott just sits in the corner and watches him. Sometimes he invites friends to Kip-watch with him.

[ellisonwongparty]

also ilya is actually the funniest person alive because he's upset he missed out on getting to take shane's virginity because of bad weather so as he sadly trundles back to his apartment he opens the door to then a half-naked svetlana on his kitchen table wearing nothing but his jersey. i need to egg this guy's house he actually has zero game with the most goated roster on planet earth how is this even fair

[creamsiclemelt]

take it slow, take it easy on me

[willpoultersleftbrow]

Everytime anyone talks about Shane being on all fours during sex or them doing doggy style I don't imagine Shane fully up on his hands and knees. I think that's how they did doggy in the begging but as they got more comfortable and got to know each other, they both knew they like doggy better when Shane's whole upper half, his chest, his face, are completely flush against the mattress and it's just his hips that are raised up enough to give Ilya full access. Especially once Ilya finds out how flexible Shane is and knows he can arch that ass up like it's no one's business. Ilya loves having his hands in Shane's hair, or back pressing his body down into the cushions as he fucks into him. Shane loves being able to hug the pillows and blankets as his only sense of grounding while Ilya takes him out of his body. Shane also loves burying his face when he gets shy and Ilya loves pulling his head back up with a firm palm under Shane's jaw to remind him he doesn't have to be scared or quiet. Shane bring propped up on all fours doesn't offer all that

[cuppydogshane]

do not tell ilya that hayden pike has an in ground pool because the second he finds out Ilya is filling that shit w Orbeez

[jewelcoatfish]

shane looooovesss shaping ilya’s curls into hearts. the problem is they are curls, so a tiny action could send all his work to waste at once, so both shane and ilya has to be very very still for this whole ordeal. usually shane would find curls that already sort of faces each other and guide them to the desired position, but sometimes the curls beat him and he has to find another one. my point is, one time shane makes a whole head of heart curls (this is an exaggeration, he probably made 5 sporadically) on ilya and he snaps a photo of it. it has ilya’s lovesick eyes looking at him too and so it becomes shane’s homescreen wallpaper (his lockscreen is them hoisting the cup together, thank you very much).

they have a fun interview with harris one day and harris asks to see their lock and home screen photos. it goes semi viral on hockey twt and one of the most popular rt was “roz’s ass down horrendously bad for his husband his hair is proclaiming love lmfao”. that was retweeted by bood, accidentally, after laughing and showing it to cassie.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

one of the videos on the ottawa centaurs account with the most views is the one where a handful of the guys are playing football and kicking the ball to each other. one of them kicks it too hard and has to go after it and he runs out of frame, but the video keeps rolling and catches ilya pulling shane in by his waist and kissing him while shane giggles. when the player comes back, ilya backs away from shane and they both just resume playing like it’s the most natural thing in the world. and the fans in the comments absolutely lost their minds going “oh yeah the PR relationship looking a little too real” “they’re in love your honor” “omg look at shane smiling” “they love each other so much is disgusting (affectionately)” “can we talk about how lapointe is so bad at kicking ball? thank goodness he’s a hockey player” “please some of us are single” “i bet ilya sent the ball away with his mind just to have a break to kiss shane” and ilya had liked that last one.

[smokingrozanov]

Jane who has worn a thick layer of foundation & a cherry red lip gloss every day of her life since age 14, even during games. Jane who eventually gets a brand deal with a skincare company & they have her in light, natural makeup for the first time. PWHL fans are buzzing about it because it turns out Jane has stunning freckles & perfect soft pink lips. Lilya sees this & is full of jealousy & anger that her Jane kept this hidden from her, let the entire world see her bare faced at the same time that she got to. She texts Jane & tells her to come over without any makeup next time & then rides her face & makes a wet mess all over those pretty freckles.