I think sometimes if It's a particularly long day, Peter Sam and Rusty like to bathe together. Nothing sexual happens, they just enjoy the closeness and the steam as they wash off the days troubles.
@papergirlpapertownn ok I know I said earlier I couldn’t think of five songs for Fraya and Constantine but now I have (and they mostly all feature Darren Chris & Glee.)
Yes The Doctor does manipulate companions sometimes to come with them (especially 11) and yes 15 did think they could just use Charm and smiles and Belinda would want to stay and that's mean and dark ™ doctor but I also think it's unbelievably sad.
They do love the TARDIS and end the end it will just be a lonely boy/girl/person in the box. 8 confirms it to Charley 11 to Amy and Clara tells 12. 13 was willing to be alone just to have her TARDIS.
But they also just want to have a friend. They don't actually want to be alone. It's drives them crazy. I thought about this listening to Dark Eyes. Like when Molly leaves the letter. The Doctor was so convinced that of course she would stay and travel. Of course she'd seen the universe with him how could she not stay?
And it's so sad. It's pathetic honestly
They need someone everyone knows they shouldn't be alone
An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Tenth Doctor pt. 1: Introduction. Anxiety, Panic, Hypervigilance, Agitation, Emotional Dysregulation, Grief & Loneliness, & Guilt
The Tenth Doctor is the fandom often recognises The Tenth Doctor's trauma due to his being a very ‘human’ doctor. Tennant is usually people’s favourite Doctor or second, so he gets a lot of love and attention. I, of course, do believe he deserves deeper analysis, but I think it should go beyond viewing him through the lens of a fangirl. [Ten is not in my top five Doctors, gold star if you can guess any of them.] Like the other Doctors, Ten goes through many traumas during his run. Losing his companions, fighting Rassilon and The Master. These experiences and The Time War shape Ten’s view of reality, along with the history of loss and trauma all previous regenerations have been subjected to. Tracing these lines through his psychology offers a good lens through which to view him.
A common symptom of C-PTSD Ten presents is anxiety. (Prose: The Last Dodo, Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Ghosts of India, Prose: Judgement of The Judoon, Comic: The Time Machination, Comic: Agent Provocateur, Comic: The Big, Blue Box, Comic: Infinite Corridor, Comic: Old Girl, Comic: Revolving Door, Comic: A Little Help from My Friends, Comic: The Lost Dimension, TV: New Earth, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: Age of Steel, TV: 42 TV: Planet of The Ood, TV: The End of Time pt 1/pt2 & TV: Day of The Doctor)
After learning about the rift in TV: Army of Ghosts while trying to get people to listen to him, we see anxiety rise in The Doctor as he worries about what is going on and tries to get a handle on things until he works out a way to be able to figure out how to gain control of the situation.
During TV: Silence in The Library/Forest of The Dead, we see him carry a lot of anxiety in his body around the way he isn’t in control of much of the situation because this isn’t an enemy he knows how to outsmart easily, he doesn’t understand River Song immediately, and he is losing people he came to like.
In TV: Daleks in Manhattan, his response to the Daleks shows anxiety due to the amount of trauma the Daleks have been a part of for The Doctor, from every story in his first eight incarnations, to the Time War, to losing Rose.
“Doctor: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They survived. They always survive while I lose everything.”
(TV: Daleks in Manhattan)
When trying to save the Londoners from the Adipose transformations, The Doctor starts to panic when he believes he can’t save them.
“Doctor: No, no, no, no, no. She's doubled it. I need. Haven't got time. It's too far. I can't override it. They're all gonna die!
Donna: Is there anything I can do?
Doctor: Sorry, Donna, this is way beyond you. Got to double the base pulse, I can't.
Donna: Doctor, tell me. What do you need?
Doctor: I need a second capsule to boost the override, but I've only got the one. I can't save them”
(TV: Partners in Crime)
His voice and body language, along with these lines, communicate panic. Having just come off having failed to protect the Jones family, as well as the only other Time Lord, leaves The Doctor feeling vulnerable. (TV: Partners in Crime)
Davros’ voice coming across the video call causes The Doctor to fall into a momentary freeze state, and you can read the panic on his face. The way he talks to Davros sounds like pressured speech, showing how activated his nervous system is. He then goes away from them, staying away from confronting him until it’s forced. (TV: Stolen Earth) Gabby notes that she can see he has anxiety. (Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook) In Prose: Prisoner of the Daleks, The Doctor hears a Dalek ship, and he shifts into Fight/Flight mode when facing a Dalek. He masks by acting positive and nonchalant.
In relationship to this anxiety we see hypervigilance (Audio: The Rising Night, Prose: Forever Autumn, Prose: Sick Building, Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Martha in The Mirror, Prose: Judgement of The Judoon, Prose: The Eyeless, Comic: Echo, Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook, Comic: Supremacy of The Cybermen, Comic: Alternating Currents, TV: School Reunion, TV: Rise of The Cybermen/Army of Ghosts, TV: Smith and Jones, TV: Silence in The Library/Forest of The Dead, TV: The Planet of The Dead, TV: Waters of Mars, & TV: The End of Time pt. 1/pt. 2)
In Prose: The Last Dodo, we have what Martha thinks about The Doctor:
" The Doctor reacts so quickly, it's like it's like it's programmed in there scream turn and run..."
(Prose: The Last Dodo)
In TV: The Runaway Bride, we see The Doctor notice in the situation around him before others that there is going to be danger, before there is explicit danger. Similar behaviour can be seen in TV: The Lazarus Experiment.
The Doctor himself comments on his own mindset, being stuck in a constant state of trying to predict the future around him:
“Doctor: Okay, wasn't expecting this. And I usually expect most things. I’m good at expecting.”
(Comic: Agent Provocateur)
Something that can be seen as slightly humorous, but I think actually shows a version of hypervigilance, is when The Doctor assumes that a rabbit he sees must be part of the Zygon plot and attempts to start taking control over the situation (TV: Day of The Doctor)
The Doctor experiences agitation, an experience strongly related to anxiety and hypervigilance due to how it’s carried in the body. Ten shows it very often. (Audio: Pest Control, Audio: The Rising Night, Prose: Forever Autumn, Prose: Sick Building, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Comic: Agent Provocateur, Comic: Don't Step on Grass, Comic: Final Sacrifice, Comic: Ground Control, Comic: Sins of the Father, Comic: Old Girl, Comic: The Good Companion, Comic: Four Doctors, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Smith and Jones, TV: The Shakespeare Code, TV:42, TV: Planet of The Ood, TV: The Planet of The Dead & TV: The End of Time pt.1/pt.2)
We can see this agitation strongly in TV: The Sontaran Stratagem/Poison Sky in the way he bristles strongly at other people often being rude and dismissive to others, including Martha, until she proves herself not a soldier. His relationship to soldiers and Martha will be discussed in more depth later.
The Doctor has very strong, deep, dysregulated and overwhelming emotions, and Latimer can notice these emotions when he feels The Doctor’s consciousness:
“Latimer: Because I've seen him. He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.”
(TV: Family of Blood)
One of these overwhelming emotions includes strong episodes of the fight response, anger, which is also related to the above-mentioned agitation. (Prose: The Last Dodo, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Shining Darkness, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: The Weeping Angels of Mons, Comic: Old Girl, Comic: Revolving Door, Comic: Four Doctors, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: The Lazarus Experiment, TV: The Doctor's Daughter, TV: Journeys End, TV: Waters of Mars, TV: The End of Time pt.1/ 2 & TV: The Day of The Doctor)
The Doctor shows anger at the sisters when he thinks they hurt Rose:
“Doctor: And I'm being very, very calm. You want to be aware of that. Very, very calm. And the only reason I'm being so very, very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing. Whatever you've done to Rose's head, I want it reversed.”
(TV: New Earth)
The Doctor’s anger, along with grief, drives him to be able to save Lazlo:
“Doctor: just you watch me...Laszlo, just you hold on. There's been too many deaths today. Way too many people have died. Brand new creatures and wise old men and age-old enemies. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now, I am not having one more death! You got that? Not one.”
(TV: Evolution of The Daleks)
An example can be seen when he faced the Vashta Nerada. We see how his anger comes out when people he likes are hurt, even if he just met them:
“Doctor: These are their forests. I'm going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts' content.
Anita: So you think they're just going to let us go?
Doctor: Best offer they're going to get.
Anita: You're going to make 'em an offer?
Doctor: They'd better take it, because right now, I'm finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all. You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her.”
(TV: Forest of The Dead)
Another strong emotional experience Ten has is depressive moods. (Prose: Wooden Heart, Prose: Forever Autumn, Prose: The Pirate Loop, Comic: Silver Scream, Comic: The Fountains of Forever, Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook, Comic: Music Man, Comic: Revolving Door, TV: Fear Her, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of The Daleks, TV: Utopia, TV: The Doctor's Daughter, TV: Waters of Mars & TV: The End of Time pt.2) A very common experience for people who have gone through deep trauma, a manifestation of negative self-beliefs and a freeze trauma response.
We can see an example of this in how The Doctor explains his life to Lazarus:
“Doctor: I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone.”
(TV: The Lazarus Experiment)
We can see more of the depression in how The Doctor is described as :
"I have never seen a man look so sad and so angry before”
(Prose: Ghosts of India)
And he describes his own experience with how trauma affects him:
“Doctor: I've seen more suffering in my life than you could possibly imagine, but it never gets any easier"
(Prose: Ghosts of India)
We can see how Ten’s depression worsens over his life through the change between Ten’s conversations with Martha in TV: The Doctor’s Daughter:
“Martha: Yeah. And you'd think it'd get easier. All those things you've been ready to die for. I thought for a moment there you'd finally found something worth living for.
Doctor: Oh, there's always something worth living for, Martha.”
(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)
And then The Doctor’s lack of response to being asked if he has a reason to live. Showing how the depression has worsened over time, and the losses and trauma within this regeneration have started to catch up to him :
“Doctor: Jackson, you've got your son. You've got a reason to live.
Lake: And you haven't?”
(TV: The Next Doctor)
A Judoon, The Doctor works with, once mentally described The Doctor:
"Judon: Although he seemed uninterested in military matters, the Judoon was sure that there was some conflict in The Doctor's past ... There was sadness and a bitterness that just occasionally an observant viewer could spot."
(Prose: Judgement of The Judoon)
Gabby can see his depression in waves of emotion. (Comic: The Arts in Space) And can tell he’s old and has been through a lot. (Comic: The Lost Dimension)
We see a deep level of depressive emotions at the end of his life come through in his conversation with Wilf:
“Doctor: No one. Travelling alone. I thought it was better. But I did some things. It went wrong. I need
[The Doctor starts crying.]
Wild: Oh, my word. I'm sorry.
Doctor: Merry Christmas.
Wilf: Yeah, and you.
Doctor: Look at us.”
(TV: The End of Time pt.1)
This combines with the later discussed guilt, but shows how much hurt overall The Doctor is carrying at this point.
Coming from an overlap of flight and fight, recklessness, freeze, depressive, and dissociative episodes, The Doctor can be suicidal.
In TV: The Runaway Bride, we see The Doctor kill the Racnoss Queen and her babies and be stuck in his mind, and he stays there locked into watching what is going on. Donna has to break him out; we know he would be unable to get out and would have died without her. Showing a degree of suicidality as he was willing to die unless someone was there to pull him out, watching his own destructive behaviour was more important than anything worth living for. (TV: Turn Left)
When faced with Daleks having killed an innocent man, The Doctor impulsively runs out in front of the Daleks, begging to be murdered to get them to leave the normal people to live:
“Doctor: Daleks. All right, so it's my turn! Then kill me! Kill me if it'll stop you attacking these people!
Dalek 3: I will be the destroyer of our greatest enemy.
Doctor: Then do it! Do it! Just do it! Do it!”
(TV: Evolution of The Daleks)
Later in another confrontation, The Doctor stands in front of The Daleks on the chair, setting himself up to possibly be killed if the Daleks had acted faster. (TV: Evolution of The Daleks)
When attempting to destroy the Sontaran ships he wants to be the one to use the device to blow up the ships, killing himself. It shows that he is reckless with his own life and willing to die. (TV: The Poison Sky)
When faced with saving the people in The Library, he wishes to save them and is willing to kill himself:
“River: Lux can manage without me, but you can't.
(River punches the Doctor, knocking him out. A little later, River is twisting some wires together.)
Computer: Autodestruct in two minutes.
(The Doctor wakes up.)
Doctor: Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on, what are you doing? That's my job.
River: Oh, and I'm not allowed to have a career, I suppose?
Doctor: Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?
River: Spoilers.
Doctor: This is not a joke. Stop this now. This is going to kill you! I'd have a chance; you don't have any.
River: You wouldn't have a chance, and neither do I. I'm timing it for the end of the countdown...”
(TV: Forest of The Dead)
He deals with extreme levels of grief after having lost all his companions over time and the trauma of the Time War. (Prose: Peacemaker, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: Fugitive, Comic: Music Man, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Journey's End, TV: The Next Doctor, TV: Waters of Mars, TV: The End of Time pt.1 & TV: The Day of The Doctor)
The Doctor grieves for the Time Lords and feels terrible pain around what he’s done and what he’s seen done. This makes his relationship to The Master take on an almost desperate edge that is different from classic Doctor/Master relationships.
“Doctor: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other.”
(TV: The Sounds of Drums)
“Doctor: Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate. Come on.
The Master: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?
Doctor: You've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons. Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else. Regenerate!"
(TV: Last of The Time Lords)
A way this grief manifests is how he discusses the Time Lords with Martha at the beginning of series three:
“Doctor: I lied to you because I liked it. I could pretend. Just for a bit, I could imagine they were still alive, underneath a burnt orange sky. I'm not just a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. The Face of Boe was wrong. There's no one else.
Martha: What happened?
Doctor: There was a war. A Time War. The last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. They lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now. My family, my friends, even that sky. Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song.”
(TV: Gridlock)
Ten also paints a view of Gallifrey in the most beautiful terms of how beautiful it is, the most wonderful parts of the world, avoiding the harmful parts of the society. The Doctor holds this mythologised view of the Time Lords as a version of grief:
“Doctor: ... A Time Lord is so much more. A sum of knowledge, a code, a shared history, a shared suffering. Only it's gone now, all of it. Gone forever.”
(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter:)
Another specific Time Lord-related grief he has is for his children. We’re not aware if they died in the Time War or before; either way, we know that their being torn from him hurt. {He already had children, Davies, It’s F’ing Canon Davies}
“Doctor: Donna, I've been a father before.
Donna: What?
Doctor: I lost all that a long time ago, along with everything else.
Donna: I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? You talk all the time, but you don't say anything.
Doctor: I know. I'm just. When I look at her now, I can see them. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. I just don't know if I can face that every day.
Donna: It won't stay like that. She'll help you. We both will.
Doctor: But when they died, that part of me died with them. It'll never come back. Not now.”
(TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)
He then loses this new child, made to relive the grief. (TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)
He gathers more grief throughout his time, like losing Donna to the Metacrisis. (TV: Journey's End) Afterwards, he visits Charlie Chaplin due to Donna wanting to go there (Comic: Silver Scream). The Doctor gets lost in the past and calls people the previous companions' names. He keeps past companions’ things, like Donna and Turlough. (Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook) The Doctor relates to the grief of a society who lost a large portion of their families to an explosion. (Prose: The Eyeless)The Doctor’s grief over all of his friends drives him to feel overwhelming emotions, and he considers being able to see them one more time to be his reward. (TV: The End of Time pt.2)
Loneliness permeates The Doctor’s experience of life and has since The Doctor was much younger, and has only grown through the Time War. (Prose: The Slitheen Excursion, Prose: Prisoner of The Daleks, Comic: Fugitive, Comic: Don't Step on Grass, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: Last of The Time Lords, TV: Partners in Crime, TV: The Planet of The Dead, TV: The End of Time pt. 1/pt.2)
Douglas Henderson notes that he can tell The Doctor is lonely, hoping that the TARDIS keeps him company. (Comic: The Big, Blue Box) The Doctor explains the loneliness he goes through in his life to Rose when she brings up how he has left past companions behind:
“Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.”
(TV: School Reunion)
Reinette reads the memories of Ten and can see into his childhood and can see how loneliness:
“Reinette: Oh, such a lonely childhood...Oh, Doctor. So lonely. So very, very alone.
Doctor: What do you mean, alone? You've never been alone in your life. When did you start calling me Doctor?
Reinette: Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonelier now. How can you bear it?”
(TV: The Girl in The Fire Place)
An alien called the Isolus's drive to return home, and how isolated it must feel is something Ten is able to relate to:
“Rose: You knew the Isolus was lonely before it told you. How?
Doctor: I know what it's like to travel a long way on your own.”
(TV: Fear Her)
Gabby can tell that The Doctor is lonely (Comic: Cindy, Cleo and the Magic Sketchbook). The Doctor is described as his TARDIS being his only constant companion, one he doesn’t fully resent, but does show that he has suffered long spells of loneliness from other friends (Prose: The Eyeless)
Loneliness became a very strong force for The Doctor after his companions all chose to leave him. Ten describes this to Lake:
“Lake: Tell me one thing. All those facts and figures I saw of the Doctor's life, you were never alone. All those bright and shining companions. But not anymore?
Doctor: No.
Lake: Might I ask why not?
Doctor: They leave. Because they should. Or they find someone else. And some of them, some of them forget me. I suppose in the end, they break my heart.”
(TV: The Next Doctor)
The Doctor feels guilt due to believing he chose genocide of the Time Lords and Daleks and the other actions he took during the Time War, and decisions he has made since. (Prose: The Eyeless, Comic: The Weeping Angels of Mons, Comic: Sins of the Father, Comic: Music Man, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Idiot's Lantern, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of The Daleks, TV: Last of The Time Lords, TV: Planet of The Ood, & TV: The Doctor's Daughter)
When faced with Daleks, he is forced to remember what happened during the Time War and directly deal with his memories. Being confronted with an actual Dalek again, he has to keep his act together, but the guilt and pain come through as he states simply the situation he is in, and quips with the Daleks:
“Black Dalek: How did you survive the Time War?
Doctor: By fighting. On the front line. I was there at the fall of Arcadia. Someday I might even come to terms with that. But you lot ran away!”
(TV: Doomsday)
In Comic: Endgame, we see The Doctor show feelings of guilt over having dismissed Adam during his Ninth incarnation, offering him forgiveness after Adam gives his life to rectify his kidnapping of The Doctor’s companions.
The Doctor feels deeply guilty for what happened to Martha during her time with him.He’s finally able to recognise that he was deeply unfair to Martha, putting her through hell. Her relationship with him caused her family to be abused. This guilt is fully warranted as he did act poorly; we can see it as part of a pattern of behaviour. Ten shows casual cruelty and pays for it:
“Donna: Still on your own?
Doctor: Yup. Well, no. I had this friend. Martha, she was called. Martha Jones. She was brilliant. And I destroyed half her life. But she's fine, she's good. She's gone.”
(TV: Partners in Crime)
When three regenerations of the doctors are brought together, the Twelfth Doctor notes that Ten feels guilt and is obsessive:
“12th Doctor: I think he [Tenth Doctor] might actually be seeking punishment”
(Comic: Four Doctors)
We see how much guilt he feels over past lives actions, how shameful he feels about who he could become. He can’t deal with what he did during the Time War without wanting to lash out at himself in his other regenerations. He was able to accept himself enough to offer kindness to the War incarnation and, by extension, save Galifrey, but it took time and effort to go past the anger and guilt. (TV: Day of The Doctor)
Later in life he experiences guilt over his extreme actions, like breaking the laws of time and driving Adelaide to suicide due to meddling in her life:
“Doctor: I've gone too far. Is this it? My death? Is it time?”
(TV: The Waters of Mars)
“Doctor: ...I thought it was better. But I did some things. It went wrong.”
(TV: The End of Time pt2)
Ten talks with Wilfred about The Master’s violence, along with his own.
“ Doctor: And that's how the Master started. It's not like I'm an innocent. I've taken lives. I got worse. I got clever. Manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long. I can't. I just can't. ”
(TV: The End of Time pt. 2)
He feels guilt at this point for his power and past actions. He conflates these actions with The Master at this time, which points to how much he's been ruminating. He’s not inherently wrong that he’s done bad things, but his own guilt influences him, almost stopping him from being able to save the whole universe from The Master and Rassilon.
A specific relational pattern worth analyzing is his relationship with Rose. His attachment to Rose can be intense due The Doctor’s own attachment trauma and loss trauma. It can also be read as a Favourite Person type dynamic. (Prose: The Monsters Inside, Comic: Doctormania, Comic: Weapons of Past Destruction, TV: Aliens of London, TV: Dalek & TV: The Doctor Dances)
Examples can be seen in his reactions, like hating Rose wanting to go on trips with her mom & not with him in Prose: Winner Takes All or in dangerous situations, leaving Jack by himself instead of Rose (Prose: Only Human). His anger at the loss of Rose nearly blows up the Earth in nihilistic anger at the loss of her (Comic: Supremacy of the Cybermen).
Nine’s unhealthy relationship patterns can be seen in him deciding the best way to relate to Rose is to take his trauma he's been ruminating on and project it onto her by showing her the death of her planet. (TV: The End of The World)
Then, on their next trip, while wanting to be close to Rose, he pushes Rose away:
“The Doctor: Blimey!
Rose: Don't laugh.
The Doctor: You look beautiful, considering.
Rose: Considering what?
The Doctor: That you're human.
Rose: I think that's a compliment”
(TV: The Unquiet Dead)
This deep connection to Rose and need for her as attachment has him doing things like hesitating to save the world for fear of losing her
“The Doctor: Do you think I don't know that? Because this is my life, Jackie. It's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.
Rose: Then what're you waiting for?
The Doctor: I could save the world but lose you.”
(TV: World War Three)
He still manipulates Rose because he's afraid to lose her & go in and see her family. Giving her the decision about staying or going with little middle ground:
"Rose: Er, my mother's cooking.
The Doctor: Good. Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer.
Rose: She's cooking tea. For us.
The Doctor: I don't do that.
Rose: She wants to get to know you.
The Doctor: Tough. I've got better things to do.
Rose: It's just tea.
The Doctor: Not to me it isn't.
Rose: She's my mother.
The Doctor: Well, she's not mine.
Rose: That's not fair.
The Doctor: Well, you can stay there if you want, but right now there's this plasma storm brewing in the Horsehead Nebula. Fires are burning ten million miles wide. I could fly the Tardis right into the heart of it, then ride the shock wave all the way out. Hurtle right across the sky and end up anywhere. Your choice."
(TV: World War Three)
This shows he wants her to stay around very deeply, but is willing to make her uncomfortable to do it because he can’t handle a wider emotional connection due to his own trauma and all-or-nothing attachments.
Rose elicits such in The Doctor that it makes him abandon his own rules. He throws all safety to the wind and lets her cross her own timelines to get to see her father in his death. (TV: Father's Day) Nine also strands himself and Jack with the Daleks to save Rose (TV: The Parting of Ways).
The Doctor is lonely after the loss of Gallifrey and all the loss of friends before the Time War. (Audio: Fond Farewell {Old Friends}, Audio: The Forth Generation {Old Friends}, Audio: Auld Lang Syne {Back to Earth}, & Comic: Weapons of Past Destruction)
During Comic: Official Secrets, we see him hope to see his old friends when he learns that UNIT is involved. Rose can tell how lonely and sad The Doctor is when they fight, and he storms off.
“Rose: You don't scare me. I know how sad you are. You'll be back in a minute, or you'll hang around outside the Tardis waiting for me. And I'll make you wait a long time!”
(TV: Father’s Day)
Along with his loneliness after all his loss, he has deep grief from losing all of his family and people. (Audio: Fright Motif {Respond to all Calls}, Audio: Face of The Apocalypse {Star-Crossed}, TV: The Doctor Dances, & TV: Boom Town) The Doctor wants to see The Brigadier after seeing his other friend die due to The Brigadier being felt as steadfast and always there for him. (Audio: Way of The Burryman {Old Friends}) He then stays to say goodbye to The Brigadier and express some degree of grief over the loss of his home and wanting to stay connected to the friends he has (Audio: The Forth Generation {Old Friends}). When The Doctor talks to Doctor Constantine, he relates to the grief over family with the other man.
“The Doctor: Just you? You're the only one here?
Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I am neither. But I'm still a doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah. I know the feeling.”
(TV: The Empty Child)
Another scene where this grief is palpable is in TV: Dalek, when he breaks after fighting with the Dalek and fearing losing Rose. Rose and the Dalek confront him for wanting to kill the Dalek:
“The Doctor: I've got to do this. I've got to end it. The Daleks destroyed my home, my people. I've got nothing left.
Rose: Look at it.
The Doctor: What's it doing?
Rose: It's the sunlight that's all it wants.
The Doctor: But it can't
Rose: It couldn't kill Van Statten, it couldn't kill me. It's changing. What about you, Doctor? What the hell are you changing into?
The Doctor: I couldn't. I wasn't. Oh, Rose. They're all dead.
DALEK: Why do we survive?
The Doctor: I don't know.”
(TV: Dalek)
We see depressive tendencies within The Doctor that fight with the innate hope of The Doctor, causing him to feel hopeless and stuck at times. (Prose: The Monsters Inside, Prose: Only Human, Audio: Sphere of Freedom {Ravagers}, Audio: Fond Farewell {Old Friends}, Audio: Way of The Burryman {Old Friends}, Audio: The Forth Generation {Old Friends}, Audio: Archipelago {Star Crossed}, TV: Rose, TV: The End of The World, & TV: Boom Town) He feels he makes situations worse for everyone not matters if he saves people (Audio: The Forth Generation {Old Friends}). As noted above, Rose can tell The Doctor is sad and needs people (TV: Father’s Day)
We see that The Doctor had intended to die at the end of the Time War::
“The Doctor: It must have fallen through time. The only survivor.
Godarad: You talked about a war?
The Doctor: The Time War. The final battle between my people and the Dalek race.
Van Statten: But you survived, too.
The Doctor: Not by choice.”
(TV: Dalek)
Guilt causes him to often want to clean up after the time war (Audio: Auld Lang Syne {Back to Earth}, TV: Rose, & TV: The Unquiet Dead) and bring an end to it in TV: Dalek and TV: The Parting of Ways.
The Doctor feels hopeless, and when given a moment, where there might be a day when no one is lost, there is a reaction of glee and triumph. For once, he doesn’t have to deal with the guilt and sadness he has become deeply accustomed to. So when given the chance for Nanogenes to save everyone he’s deeply emotional about it.
“The Doctor: Oh, come on. Give me a day like this. Give me this one.
(The Doctor removes Jamie's gas mask.)
The Doctor: Ha-ha! Welcome back! Twenty years till pop music - you're going to love it.
Nancy: What happened?
The Doctor: The nanogenes recognised the superior information, the parent DNA. They didn't change you because you changed them! Ha-ha! Mother knows best!
......
Rose: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Software patch. Going to email the upgrade. You want moves, Rose? I'll give you moves.
(He throws t
he nanogenes to the waiting patients, who fall to the ground..)
The Doctor: Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody lives!”
(TV: The Doctor Dances)
To deal with the chaos inside of him and as a factor of his own charisma and force of personality, he controls situations. This also acts as avoidance. The Doctor deeply needs this control to feel safe. ( Prose: The Masks of Makassar, Prose: The Deviant Strain, Prose: The Stealers of Dreams, Audio: Sphere of Freedom {Ravagers}, Audio: food fights {Ravagers}, Audio: Monsters in Metropolis {Lost Warriors}, Audio: Break The Ice {Into The Stars], Comic: Slaver's Song, Comic: The Bidding War, TV: The End of The World, TV: Aliens of London/World War Three, TV: Dalek, TV: The Doctor Dances, & TV: Boom Town) He can pull control over situations even when in prison. (Prose: The Monsters Inside)
His very psychic presence is enough to control some situations:
"It was hard to threaten someone who didn't possess a full personality. The Doctor had learned over centuries of travel how to scare bad people how to to stare them in the eye and make them squirm”
A psychological machine that reads darkness sees enough inside of him that it breaks; this reflects back his rage, depression, guilt and hatred. (Comic: Sin Eaters)
Bravery, selflessness and kindness are something Nine respects greatly. He sees this as something commendable and a reason he originally brings Rose along after she saves the day. (TV: Rose) This commitment to bravery and selflessness comes not only from innate morals but also because after seeing so much anger, selfishness and hatred from his fellow Time Lords enforced by Rassilon. It gives him hope that people can be good.
Nine has done dark things like being willing to kill in Prose: Winner Takes All and letting Cassandra ‘die’ in TV: The End of The World. But he wants his trauma to make him kind in his overall belief system. In TV: Unquiet Dead, we see how much he values what Gwyneth does.
Mickey is an interesting example of this trait of Nine. Mickey’s reactions to the Autons in TV: Rose makes Nine dislike him quite a bit and he only invites Rose when they are done saving the world. Micky is not invited due to his not acting during the conflict with the Autons, likely also because he calls The Doctor a “thing”.
After TV: Aliens of London/World War Three Mickey fights against the Slitheen, protects Jackie and spends the time The Doctor had been gone trying to find info on The Doctor, all showing traits The Doctor admires. Because of this, The Doctor has moved towards respecting Mickey much more, respecting his emotions and trusting him to do important things. The Doctor invites Mickey along because he showed bravery, cleverness and loyalty to Rose. Mickey chooses not to come until much later in his relationship with The Doctor. The Doctor still clearly likes him now, even protects his ego with Rose:
“The Doctor: They're just not ready. You're happy to believe in something that's invisible, but if it's staring you in the face, nope, can't see it. There's a scientific explanation for that. You're thick.
Mickey: We're just idiots.
The Doctor: Well, not all of you.
Mickey: Yeah?
The Doctor: Present for you, Mickey.
(He gives Mickey a CD.)
The Doctor: That's a virus. Put it online. It'll destroy every mention of me. I'll cease to exist.
Mickey: What do you want to do that for?
The Doctor: Because you're right, I am dangerous. I don't want anybody following me.
Mickey: How can you say that and then take her with you?
The Doctor: You could look after her. Come with us.
Mickey: I can't. This life of yours, it's just too much. I couldn't do it. Don't tell her I said that.
......
Rose: Come with us. There's plenty of room.
The Doctor: No chance. He's a liability, I'm not having him on board.”
(TV: World War Three)
In TV: World War Three, The Doctor likes Harriet for being brave. In TV: The Christmas Invasion, The Doctor remembered her and remembered that she was caring for her mother the whole time. In Comic: Doctormania when he stops to help Yani as he respects her actions of bravery. In Comic: Doctormania when he stops to help Yani as he respects her actions of bravery.
When The Doctor saves Jack, he invites him to travel with him instead of dropping him off because he sees bravery and selflessness in him, and that he can be a better man:
“Jack: Much bigger on the inside.
The Doctor: You'd better be.”
(TV: The Doctor Dances)
Adam, during TV: The Long Game, shows the antithesis of these values and he is forced out of the TARDIS.
Ultimately for this Doctor, he is faced with Daleks as his last adventure. He is made to deal with his worst nightmare, a full Dalek army threatening his home, or at least his second home. Again, he’s in a no-win situation where he’s forced to see good people like Lynda and Jack die [if temporarily for Jack]. He's made to send Rose, his closest person, away for her own safety and then face an exact replay of the worst day of his life. Forced to decide if he can wipe out humans in order to wipe out the Daleks.
“The Doctor: It's ready! You really want to think about this, because if I activate the signal, every living creature dies.
Emperor: I am immortal.
The Doctor: Do you want to put that to the test?
Emperor: I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the Great Exterminator.
The Doctor: I'll do it!
Emperor: Then prove yourself, Doctor. What are you, coward or killer?
(But he cannot throw the final switch.)
The Doctor: Coward. Any day.
Emperor: Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness.
The Doctor: And what about me? Am I becoming one of your angels?
Emperor: You are the heathen. You will be exterminated.
The Doctor: Maybe it's time.”
(TV: The Parting of Ways)
His inability to kill the Daleks shows who this particular Doctor is, he’s separate from both classic and modern Doctors. For example, the Seventh Doctor explodes Skaro (TV: Remembrance of The Daleks) [or with the intention to do so] or the Thirteenth Doctor killing all of the Sontarans with trickery. (TV: The Vanquishers) Being this directly close to the Time War and the conflict with The Moment make his actions dictated by these painful events. This isn’t necessarily the most moral choice, as Daleks will kill all humans except for the ones they want to enslave or experiment on, as well as invade everywhere they can. His decision might not be the right choice we all thought when we watched as children, but I think it is worth seeing as the only choice he can make due to his own beliefs born from moral injury.
Quickly after this, Bad Wolf/Rose is able to save him, and he is willing to take the heart of the TARDIS in order to save her. His love for Rose being strong enough, he would rather regenerate than to see her die, which is a Doctor action; they are always someone who loves his friends.
Nine is someone who ends up regenerating in a sad and sweet way. It hurts, of course, to be in pain and to go, but he’s happy with how he lived his life and who he got to be with.
“The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the Time Vortex, and no one's meant to do that. Every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Can't you do something?
The Doctor: Yeah, I'm doing it now. Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except it means I'm going to change, and I'm not going to see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go.
Rose: Don't say that.
The Doctor: Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I.”
(TV: The Parting of Ways)
His belief system of upholding his view of morality It's a form of almost healthy schema. It has him believing the world could be good, but he holds on to it with white knuckles to a point it can cause harm and is rigid and rigid beilifes can cause people to act out and cause damaging actions like choosing to die. But it also elicits good things for him, making it one of the more positive underlying world views out of 'Nu Who' era Doctors whose world views are more catastrophising, negative, self-destructive and just as rigid due to repetition of loss they have and having violence reintegrated into their lives, dismantling much of the positive lessons Nine learns.
Overall, Nine is going through a deep time of trauma, but he is someone who is trying to brave through it. His process is a lot of trying to find joy and strong people to show him there is light out there while dealing with a lot of personal pain. His final two scenes of choosing not to kill and of recognising his own goodness stick with people as moving moments for a reason. They show a character who is strong in their own morals and able to see their own worth despite all of their pain.
Nine shows hypervigilance, anxiety, agitation, impulsivity and anger, which can be triggered by reminders of trauma. He can be avoidant of emotions and relationships. Struggles with his own identity and relationship to self define his personality. He struggles with his ability to relate to others due to attachment. Loneliness and depression are also present. Control issues are present in this Doctor. Past trauma creates an interesting paradigm about what he respects, which then reflects on his final actions.
Nine is wonderfully written and complicated, a truly amazing character.
