#shippiden

[perhaps-short-of-a-marble]

is your ship good or did the author have to make them reincarnated brothers in an attempt to rationalize their bond and make it look less romantic

kids today call it incest but were you there when kishimoto finally had his moment of realization and frantically drew those chapters

[bubblewhale]

Started rewatching naruto shippuden.

Funny how deidara is long range type, just as temari is conveniently out in konoha at the time of akatsuki attack on suna

[swine-designs]

I stopped existing for a while, my bad

[mssweatherweather]

Sasuke: *tries to kill Naruto, Itachi, Sakura, Kakashi, (...) and his own daughter*

Friend: like ... how do you like this guy?

Me: *sobing* don't you see? He only tries to kill those he loves! Thats how he shows affection!

Friend: that is sOo messed up.

[thinknicht]

18-yr old Itachi meets genin Sakura in the woods. No, this isn’t some horror story and yes, it is a rather awkward occurrence…

She was covered in slobber and twigs, the former of which was explained by the ninken flanking her. Itachi immediately recognized him as Bull, Kakashi’s largest summon.

With a sigh, Itachi activated his sharingan and turned around just the slightest bit. The girl’s green eyes, which had been shamelessly boring into him, glazed over upon meeting his.

Check. Genjutsu successfully cast. Without further preamble, Itachi got to work and carefully planted a suggestion in the girl’s brain to go practice water walking and forget all about him. Then, he repeated the same process with Bull. Just as Itachi had finished casting the genjutsu, a shrill beep broke trough the clearing – and trough Itachi’s concentration.

Throwing a shuriken at the possibly volatile source was his first reaction, his second being to sprint over to it and discern what had caused the disturbance.

Was it a bomb? An explosion tag? An elaborate sound attack?

No. Even more alien – it was a civilian devise of some sort.

His cousin Shisui had once explained that, apparently, not everyone stood up at the crack of dawn, hence the presence of – alarm clocks.

…remarkable.

Itachi wasn’t entirely sure what twelve-year-olds did with their time, but carrying alarm clocks into lakes seemed like just the thing Shisui would’ve enjoyed, so Itachi decided that it was normal. He was pondering this when another loud noise made him jump.

“GAAAAAHHHH”

Ah, the screams of a twelve-year-old.

Itachi wasn’t sure how one should go about talking to twelve-year-old girls, so he didn’t even begin to try. He watched the flailing girl. Was she drowning? He had just seen her water-walking. Why wasn’t she water-walking?

The girl eventually seemed to come to the same conclusion and began to float. Though she still wasn’t water walking. Ah, no. She was ‘swimming’. It had been a while since Itachi had had to swim for anything, so the action took him by surprise. However, Sasuke no longer seemed to be in danger of losing a teammate to their family lake, so Itachi decided that he could just leave her there. Besides for which, he had put the girl under a genjutsu, so she’d likely overlook him–

“Stalker-san, you destroyed my alarm clock.”

Never mind.

The girl was shooting him a reproachful look, her tone matter-of-fact. Itachi’s mouth opened. But nothing came to mind, so he shut it again.

She had broken his genjutsu? Given, it might have had something to do with the sudden exogenous assault on two of her senses – her hearing (trough the alarm clock) and her touch (via the cold of the water); but even so, Itachi hadn’t been expecting her to break free. Especially as the girl didn’t even seem to have noticed the genjutsu in the first place.

…perhaps Sasuke had taught her how to break some illusions?

Itachi mustered the girl a little more closely. The first thing he noticed were once again the eyes – green. Her hair was a strange color and was shaped like a mushroom, though he suspected it might look different when dry. She was very pale, (as was he, but not to that extreme), so he concluded that the girl cared more about her complexion than shinobi work. This was further proven by the very impractical-looking dress she was currently floating – ah, swimming – in.

“What?” the girl said suddenly. “Did you think my alarm clock was a bomb or something?”

Itachi blinked at her, confused. What else was he supposed to think? Really. He wanted to scold her for foolishly bringing such a strange civilian contraption to a lake, but then he remembered that Shisui would’ve given her a high five instead and was confused on how to proceed.

“You know,” continued the girl smartly, clearly in no need of his input. “Kakashi-sensei always tells us to look underneath the underneath, but I think you took it a bit too far, huh?”

Underneath the underneath? Itachi had always suspected Kakashi was secretly a fan of poetry. It was certainly a fanciful way to say “be alert”, but perhaps that was the point. Kakashi’s flair for the occasional dramatics made his words easy to remember.

“You know Kaka-sensei?” the girl asked curiously.

Itachi stilled. How had she guessed that? Was this girl secretly an ANBU agent, trained to read into all of his micro-expressions?

The girl’s next words disproved his theory:

“You’re Kaka-sensei’s fangirl, aren’t you?”

…fangirl?

What on earth was a fangirl? Feeling increasingly lost, Itachi pondered on the matter. The triumphant gleam in the girl’s verdant eyes was slightly off-putting. Now, Itachi had often been called a genius, so, by putting his considerable intellect to the task, he concluded that fan + girl = a fan who is also a girl. Hm. He wasn’t certain about the fan part, but last he checked, he wasn’t a girl.

Perhaps he’d deduced the definition of fangirl incorrectly. Another possibility was that a fangirl referred to a girl with a fan. A fan was the Uchiha’s clan logo, but Itachi wasn’t wearing anything with a fan on it. And he still wasn’t a girl.

But why would she reference a fan unless she was talking about the Uchiha? This girl… had she discovered his identity? But how could she know…?

Perhaps “fangirl” was a code. Perhaps the girl truly was an ANBU in disguise, here to escort Itachi to his clandestine appointment with the sandaime. Perhaps this fangirl business was her way of instructing him to follow along. But why the secrecy? Was the area compromised? Itachi glanced around worridly, but he couldn’t sense anyone other than Bull, who was still slightly catatonic from his genjutsu.

Hm.

The girl who might or mightn’t be an ANBU seemed to have taken Itachi’s silence as an admission, assuring him that she wouldn’t tell Kakashi his secret, seeing as “fangirls stick together”. Itachi was pleased that she didn’t intent to tell Kakashi his secret, whatever his secret was, but still felt lost on the fangirl concept. If this was some sort of code, he needed to ask sandaime-sama for a cheat-sheet.

In any case, Itachi decided to give the ANBU/twelve-year-old a scroll that only the hokage would be able to open containing a time and coordinates for them to meet. He had already prepared it in advance, so all that was left to do was disguise it. If the girl didn’t understand the meaning, he would just destroy it when she wasn’t looking. So he cast a genjutsu on it to look like a wad of ryo and handed it to the girl, who started.

“Uhh… thanks.” She smiled at him, as though Itachi had just done something especially charitable. Itachi was caught off guard. How long had it been since someone had smiled at him?

Feeling slightly awkward at their one way-communication (Shisui had insisted that ‘hn’ was not enough to establish a rapport with someone), Itachi decided to go a step further and give her nod. His father and superiors usually seemed to like it when he nodded.

The action seemed to be completely lost on the girl, however, who didn’t nod back, and instead began to count the bills.

Once again, Itachi was thrown for a loop. What was she doing? She had to hand the scroll to the hokage, not read it herself. He opened his mouth to chastise her, but then remembered that this could potentially be a twelve-year-old. Potentially.

Just then, the girl stopped counting, pinned him with a dismayed look and said: “Stalker-san, I’m not sure if this is enough.” Itachi paused. Had she seen the message? Did she mean that a time and coordinates were not enough? Was she expecting a full mission report? “But” the girl continued, “I don’t want you to give me too much, either.” Pardon? Itachi felt like they were having two different conversations. The girl, unfortunately, carried on undeterred: “ne, how about you accompany me to the alarm clock store, Stalker-san?”

Itachi stared. He could feel a headache coming on. Was this a twelve-year-old or not? If this was his ANBU escort, the invitation to the “alarm clock” store was likely code.

Alarm + clock could mean a lot of things, such as that he had returned to the village at an inopportune time and the hokage was alarmed, but Itachi wasn’t certain.

On the other hand, what kind of ANBU got caught in a genjutsu and fell into a lake? Was this a new initiate? Or a clueless twelve-year-old? He didn’t remember being this clumsy even as a six year old, never mind at twelve, when he’d been recruited into ANBU.

Hm.

If he went with the girl, it could potentially be a waste of time. Nevertheless, on the off chance that this was an official order, Itachi had no choice but to go along, and if necessary, buy a twelve-year-old girl an “alarm clock”.

…worse things had happened.

To find out what happens next, check out The Path of the Paper Ninja!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[blackkakashii]

I THOUGHT GAI WAS JUST BEING STUPID WHAT THE FUCK

[caa-f]

Karui always been a bad bitch fight me

[nobodyyyszw]

Some sketches of sasuke and Shizui (fav character)

Feel free to like or repost it mean so much for me