#shush winter

[emblazedwinter]

Me: So you can just look at a stranger and be like, “Ah, yes. I wanna fuck them.”

Best Friend: Yes, frequently.

Me, an asexual: Weird.

[emblazedwinter]

Sometimes I manage to convince myself that I have multiple hobbies. Then ao3 stops working and I’m faced with reality; Hobbies are my last resort. Fanfics are an obsession that got out of control.

I would like to cite 2012 Wattpad as the reason for my downfall.

[emblazedwinter]

My Grampa has late stage dementia and therefore says some wacky shit. Here are a few I wrote down after the most recent visit.

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Grampa: What’s your name?

Mom: Jenny.

Grampa: You’re the nail clipper person.

My Mom, his daughter: Yes, that’s exactly who I am.

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Grampa: Mary Jo’s divorcing me tomorrow.

Mom: I don’t think she is.

Grampa: *Frustrated* You don’t know.

Mom: She’s not, we would’ve heard something. Right, Bell?

Me: Yup.

Grampa: Oh.

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Grampa, out of nowhere: She wanted to go so she’s packing up and leaving.

Mom: … What?

Grampa: Mary Jo. She got ice cream for me in her car.

Mom, holding his ice cream from dinner: No, [Aide] got this for you. Wasn’t that nice of her?

Grampa: No, cause Mary Jo transferred the car to her daughter.

Mom: She still has a car.

Me: I think he’s talking about the blue car (a car that is now mine)

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Grampa: What’s your name?

Me: I’m Bell.

Grampa: Embell?

Me: Just Bell.

Grampa: So your last name’s Isabel?

Me: My full name’s Isabel, yes.

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Grampa: Your boy playing basketball?

Mom: No, my boy doesn’t play basketball.

Grampa: That’s okay.

Mom: He drives a semi.

Grampa: That’s okay.

Mom: My boy’s too short to play basketball.

Grampa: *disappointed* Oh.

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Grampa: I just wish I had more daughters.

Mom: I’m not good enough?

Grampa: You’re good.

Me: You have six.

Grampa: I asked Mary Jo for more and she said no. I asked her last week.

Mom: Last week? She can’t have more, she’s eighty-three!

Grampa: She can, she said she could.

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Grampa: I want to be a grandfather one day.

Mom: You are.

Me: Not only that, but you’re also a great grampa. Like, five times over.

Grampa: *Delighted* Oh!

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Grampa, out of nowhere: It’s good you can get that disappointment.

Me: Okay?

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Female Resident: *Playing with baby dolls, believes they are real babies*

Grampa: *To my mom* I’m not that bad yet.

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Honorable mention

Mom: My husband’s at work.

Female Resident: Your husband’s on a respirator?

Mom: No, my husband’s at work.

Female Resident: Oh, you are!

Me: *Trying not to laugh*

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[emblazedwinter]

Hey google, what disorder won’t let me sleep until I read fanfiction?

[emblazedwinter]

Based on this headcanon post I made.

Damian: *Angrily venting about an animal shelter's condition*

Tim: *Typing on computer*

Damian: Are you even listening?

Tim: The owner is a wanted criminal and I just bought the shelter.

Dick: You... bought an animal shelter?

Tim: It was the easiest solution.

[emblazedwinter]

Me: *Flirts at my girlfriend*

Her: *Flustered* Gay

My Genderfluid Ass: Not today, sorry.

Her: Oh shit😂

[emblazedwinter]

God 1, smoking a joint: Okay, okay, consider this; We make his main love language touch, right? Then we make it so they hate most types of physical contact, but especially skin contact.

God 2, also smoking, sitting on a couch upside-down: I love it. What if we make him genderfluid? Her name can mean “pledged to God,” but we assign the Greek pantheon to them. I’m thinking Artemis as her patroness?

God 1: *Nodding, frantically taking notes* This is a great fucking idea.

[emblazedwinter]

Whatever you do, don’t think about how Uncle Iroh had to go on each day knowing his son died for a war he no longer believes in. And don’t think about how much regret he probably felt when it took Lu Ten’s death for him to realize he was on the wrong side of the war.