I know I'm on hiatus right now but I really want to complain about this
It's a bit personal cause it's not entirely about jjr/sih, but I seriously wish jjr/sih is still an active, ongoing series. I believe sih is still ongoing and so is jjr, but they're basically dead. Why are we getting a new volume/chapter after, like, a decade? Don't burn me at the stake, maybe it's regularly updating and I'm just not in the loop, but damn do I wish it was more popular.
The fandom is absolutely dead, like 12 people max are posting about it on Tumblr and even if you stumble upon an abundance of something jjr/sih on another site like pixiv or deviantart, it's either from 2015 or it simply doesn't exist.
I want to be apart of an active fandom to engage with the fans and, yk, be assured that someone will actually see what I post, but I genuinely can't get into anything lol. I'm not interested in jjk, chainsaw man, gachiakuta, witch hat atelier, or any of the currently super popular animes with active fandoms, and I'm mildly interested in stuff like bllk, tshd, ace attorney, mha (even though I had a raging obsession with it up until season 5, but given I kind of stopped consuming its media since then I feel like I'm not "qualified" enough to fit in especially given the development of all the characters I just feel like there's alot I need to take in to make a proper statement/opinion and not be sent death threats over)
I have no idea what to fucking do I'm TIRED
I want engagement with other fans, I want content to consume, I want funny ongoing jokes and hcs and ideas, I want fanfics and au's, I want to gush over stuff that is popular and known I love jjr and sih to death but no one exactly knows two bl animes from the 2000 outside of Tumblr and very few other apps/sites
alert that this is majority kirishima buuuut overall they are two sides of grief concerning loss
kirishima lost sakura, who was his hs sweetheart, at quite a young age and left behind their daughter for kirishima to raise alone. i wish we got a kznb to go more in depth but ofc it was hard but this was nearly a decade ago and he’s had a lot of time to process this bereavement
he purposely enters yokozawa’s life mistakenly at the initial point of the grief. during the fight (which i’ll discuss a little more later), kirishima says he sees his younger self in yokozawa. i see this as kirishima probably had orbited his whole life around sakura, especially in her last few months, and thus created dependence and service towards her. when she died, that identity had nowhere to go for a little but he had to quickly “get up” for hiyori. and now he sees yokozawa struggling with that dependent identity that has nowhere to go anymore, and when this is called out ofc yokozawa reacts negatively
but to circle to kirishima i’ve overall found him really interesting. he quite consistently gives off emotional maturity which is understandable. with this, he knows that people want him and he keeps people at an arms length. he has hiyori after all, and it’s once said iirc that women tend to be complicated about kirishima being a single father. either pushing away, using hiyori to get close, or being weird with hiyori. his daughter is his #1. he knows that people want him for his looks and charisma. so he’s never very serious with ppl he dates and can easily hide behind a masquerade of being teasing, and that’s what initially happens with yokozawa
before the main events, yokozawa has already caught his interest but doesn’t act. when he does act, it’s an impulsive u-turn into the bar. he finds out everything about takano and can probably see the grief but is also interested in the chase this attractive man has just laid out for him. kirishima is used to ppl vying for him, but yokozawa wants nothing to do with him. yokozawa might not even be attracted to him at all and keeps telling kirishima he’s annoying. but kirishima is ultimately still drawn to the chase and the sincere personality of yokozawa he can see underneath, especially with hiyori. yokozawa isn’t trying to have kirishima fall in love with him, so his relationship with hiyori comes naturally. without yokozawa trying and kirishima really realizing it, yokozawa slips into a domestic lifestyle where he’s expected to be there.
but the catch is yokozawa never wanted to be there in the first place. yes, he adores hiyori, but what about kirishima? kirishima has let someone nestle in so deep into his life without knowing if yokozawa genuinely even likes him. and this hits a painful realization when yokozawa and takano talk. kirishima sees them but has no idea what they spoke about, but the thing that looks obvious is that yokozawa’s orbit still revolves around takano no matter how hard kirishima tried, and no matter how close yokozawa got to the kirishima’s without trying.
so kirishima calls yokozawa out on the dependency and grief both as the “mature one” and a “don’t you see im better? why won’t you fully look at me?” way. but when yokozawa lashes out and tells kirishima to leave and he doesn’t want to see his face again, kirishima accepts it. because atp kirishima has realized this isn’t a fun teasing thing anymore, but that kirishima has genuinely fallen for someone who he perceives won’t even truly look at him. so he walks away as continuing to force proximity would do neither good when now kirishima wants a genuine relationship where he’s chosen reciprocally
and yokozawa does choose him, because yokozawa later admits that kirishima helped him get over his grief and that he actually does love kirishima 😋
i didn’t really include yokozawa because i think his side is easier to read? buuut i did want to add that feeling needed and wanted by the kirishima’s fulfilled his sorta itch of the hole that takano left of depending on yokozawa
and i really do love yokozawa’s insecurity of sakura… so maybe another day…
