Do people link you being single to loneliness?
Random aunty no. 345790 : 24 and still single? Bete, when I was your age I was nursing my first child. You should hurry and find someone. You don't want to be a single, lonely and sad woman forever.
I force a smile. I have lost count of how many times I heard something similar this week.
Aunty, what makes you think that if I'm single I'll be lonely too? Is it from the societal expectation of seeing people in pairs? Is it so hard to believe that I'm happy even when I'm single? I'm content with where I'm at the moment and enjoying the growth and changes I get to see in myself everyday? I can focus on my self-development at the moment which makes me feel great. While a relationship might have its own merits, it can also be stressful and with the current stressors in my life I'm not interested in adding one more. A partner may come, stay or go but I won't be leaving myself. And why do you think I'm lonely? I have my career to focus on, myself to take care of, family and friends for company. Honestly, I don't feel I need anything more at the moment. Trust me, I'm not anti-love or anti-marriage, if it knocks on my door we'll see. But I'm no damsel in distress waiting for someone else to make me happy. I make me happy. What's so bad about loneliness anyway? We all might feel it sometimes, relationship or no relationship. Also, relationships are no guarantee that I wouldn't feel lonely. I'd rather be single and alone than in a relationship and lonely. So please stop telling me to look for a partner because that is not the most essential thing to do in life. Please don't worry about my biological clock ticking. Marriage and having children are a choice not essential to live one's life. I respect those who choose it but I don't appreciate you pushing me towards it. Just let me be.
I want to tell her this and more. So much more. I'm tired of hearing this again and again. But I force a smile do small talk and just say I want to focus on my career first (as if that's the next best thing 🤦) she says something more and I somehow manage to get out of the conversation. I want to tell her this but it feels pointless to explain this to someone who has only known life a certain way. It feels pointless because I might speak but she might not listen to it.
Dodging comments on relationships at the moment,
Gayathri, intern @lemmebegirls
