Blog | 2020.09.20 | Translator: AdiosCorea | Report error
I'm currently living a normal life.
Like everyone else, I get up in the morning, work during the day, eat,
and after dinner, wrap up any work left, rest, sleep, then so on and so forth, even into the weekend.
But this work load is a lot less compared to when I was actively uploading,
and due a few of my assistants suddenly quitting, I needed time to train my new assistants, and I went through a few drafts to fix the scenario,
so the process of making new chapters has been delayed. I am sorry.
Still, I exercise two or three times a week for my joints, go on more walks outside compared to when I was uploading,
I've been jogging, and I've even caught up with a few of my friends and relatives I haven't seen in a few years.
When I feel lonely and tired, I work out of a cafe, but it's been more difficult going outside due to Covid,
so I've been talking to counselors, taking long baths, or put on some Korean reality TV shows while I work.
Now that I put it in writing, it's so normal so I didn't have much to write.
It wasn't like a school vacation where I could sleep in all day and max out a character on a game, or traveling all over the country and falling asleep to a beautiful sunset at a beautiful tourist destination.
Visiting my ill grandfather, visiting my recently-passed grandmother's grave, all added to the difficult daily life of SIU on break.
Ah, actually I haven't been really on break... hehe qq
Since I'm still working with my aching back and wrists,
I'm thinking perhaps I would be hearing good words from you if I had been properly resting.
I'll start resting properly starting tomorrow.
Since I don't get paid for my uploads while on hiatus, and I do need to pay my assistants to maintain the studio,
so there's that pressure that's been becoming more suffocating,
and I thought that if I started uploading soon, I thought I would be pushing my still aching body and mind to the limits,
I had this sense that I wanted to come back with as much chapters as possible, which makes it harder to rest.
Sometimes I think these days whether I live to upload or if I upload to live.
A big thing since I stopped uploading was that I stopped using internet and social media.
So I haven't been on the blog, the cafe, or twitter almost at all.
Sitting in front of a computer isn't good for the body, nor is it for the heart/mind, so I've been told.
Some people tell me that I'm being irresponsble, but I think on the other hand, I sometimes wonder how "isn't it a bit cruel to take this much freedom away from a Freelancer".
However, I do feel a sense of relief when I hear that someone else tells me that they're waiting for me to come back.
Adults tell me that your body is your wealth, and I think I've used a lot of it up.
So I've been living day by day, hoping to rest tomorrow.
I want to protect what's left of my already largely-spent resources.
So my goal tomorrow is to rest as well.
If I don't get to rest, I am not achieving my goal.
As an author.... I want to actually start uploading pretty bad.
I want my work to be successful in a way that makes sure that I'm healthy and happy.
Many people think I'm a successful author, but in actuality because I suffered as many failures as successes,
I would enjoy the day when the work and myself both are happy.
Actually, I felt quite unfulfilled before I went on hiatus for multiple reasons.
And with a feeling of having a lot of the works I've been pushing forward having gone on a black out,
I even thought to myself if it would be impossible for me or my work to be happy.
I didn't want to keep working with those thoughts in mind.
It's hard to talk about this kind of stuff in front of other webtoon authors.
I actually know quite well how rare works as successful as mine are.
Perhaps this work, myself, and you my readers, are all being too greedy [TN: demand too much of themselves].
Of course, I've always been a hard working author and you have all been very good readers,
so even though I fall short, I wanted to fulfill that greed a bit more.
This is certainly a difficult issue.
Ah... this is getting quite too long hehe.
Actually, the reason why I quit social media during the hiatus was because of this aspect of myself.
If I start writing, I put in too much effort into it, and I review it numerous times in case my meanings get miscommunicated.
All of those things eat up my time quite a bit, which interferes with my goal of "let's rest".
Actually, the most definitive reason that I quit social media was because I was afraid of the length of the hiatus.
Authors feel like criminals when they're on hiatus, haha qq.
I really am a criminal qq.
So I'll wrap up the long-coming long-text here.
Above all else, I'm always sorry for all of you guys waiting on the work.
I feel like I'm always falling short as an author.
I don't know how much longer it will take, but I'll rest well, and I will come back when I'm ready and the time is right.
As the fall cools, keep yourselves healthy, and I hope you guys have good weeks coming.
I hope this word can give you guys a peace of mind in waiting for my return.
I will try to spend the week with a peace of mind as well.
I always hope that you, my readers, are happy.
When we know when I'm coming back or if there's some other good news, I'll be sure to post another notice.
ps. Please do not repost this post in other places.
[Compiler’s note: SIU has since deleted the blog, but despite so, I hope readers can understand his struggles without twisting his words or actions.]
[Originally translated by AdiosCorea here]
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