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darling, it's time for a new chapter in your life

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Self Love Ideas for Valentine’s Day

As beautiful as romantic love is (or dreaming about finding your soulmate, in case you haven’t already), the truth is the only person you’ll always have in your life no matter what… is yourself.

Everything begins from your own self. The love, respect and standards you cultivate for yourself are the reservoir that overspills into every other aspect of your life. That includes relationships.

So if you deny aspects of yourself, if you don’t honor your own needs and boundaries, if you say no to spoiling yourself any chance you get, chances are you’ll find it challenging to shower that love onto someone else. Or you might do it decently, but with grudging resentment — because you’re actually doing it so you receive those things in return, the way you’ve always wanted. And when (or if) you don’t, hell breaks loose. Sound familiar?

No relationship, not even friendships, can operate from a place of lack. Learn to fill your cup before you fill someone else’s. You can’t self-abandon and then get angry at others for not choosing you…they’re just treating you the same way you treat yourself!

Here are 8 ways to celebrate yourself & your divine feminine energy with self love ideas for Valentine’s Day… regardless of whether you’re single or in a relationship!

1. Take yourself out on a date

While this may not be for the faint of heart, once you’re brave enough to get out of your comfort zone, it can be quite rewarding.

Making a habit of taking yourself out on dates can fill that need for dressing up, looking polished, feeling appreciated, getting some special treatment. It doesn’t always have to be another person!

It can feel nice to put on your favorite dress with your make-up snatched and your hair looking fabulous, all while enjoying a fancy cup of tea or antreé. Add a book or a journal to the mix, and you’ve got yourself a lovely afternoon.

Don’t let the judgement and insecurity of other people hold you back from validating your own love language (gifts, quality time).

2. Spa Day

If you’re looking for a budget-friendly way to enjoy self love ideas for Valentine’s Day, plan a spa day at home.

Get your nailkit, all your skincare and haircare, and go crazy. Scrub, massage, and lotion every inch of your skin until you feel squeaky clean and like a goddess incarnate. Just don’t forget to have fun while at it! Put a cute headband or bonnet on, some catchy music to get you in a dancing mood, and make sure nobody will interrupt your me-time.

Here’s a couple of ideas to get started:

manicure

pedicure

coconut oil hair treatment

rosemary oil hair treatment

clay facemask

lip mask

3. Self love letter

If you’re more poetically inclined, a lovely ritual to strengthen your commitment to yourself is by writing a self love letter. Drop by the nearest craft shop, pick up a pink envelope and paper, and get into it.

Take your time writing a letter that you can always go back to and re-read, whether it’s in one month or ten years.

You can customize your self love letter, or if you want a ready-made template just use my lovingly written 📚 “Manifesto of Self Love” below. Print it out to keep with you always, to remember your promise to yourself!

4. Spoil yourself

One of the best self love ideas for Valentine’s Day is just doing something that brings you joy.

In today’s age we tend to underestimate the importance of spoiling yourself, especially as a woman. From a young age we’re taught to be of service to others, to nurture and heal and help others, and often forget to include ourselves in....

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you don't owe the world perfect, you owe the world your authentic self.

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✨ i am open to miracles ✨

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Where do you like to find dark feminine clothing? I'm not into a set aesthetic, but dark feminine is one of my favorites!

Hello darling,

My advice would be to focus less on brands and more on capsule pieces and quality. Where you acquire clothing from is up to the freedom of each person's ethical values, finances as well as preferences. That being said, you can find items like the below in many places, from thrift shops and Shein to H&M, Zara, the mall, etc.

Here are some recommendations for a dark feminine aesthetic/fashion, based on my own taste/inspo board.

Capsule items:

asymmetric yet minimalist tops (a bare shoulder adds mystique and femininity)

black lace tops, lace bodysuits (use discreetly, should be moderately covering nonetheless)

black or red satin robes for homewear (my favorite, I always get compliments from guests)

pencil skirts

faux leather: pants/leggings, skirts, jacket, corsets

platform heels, black or red high heels

black midi dresses (classic, effortless, versatile)

little black dresses

long flowy dresses in velvet, satin or tulle, etc

faux fur coat

Dark feminine aesthetic expanded:

Colors: red, black, and any shade in between (wine red, oxblood)

Materials: velvet, satin, lace, silk all emulate "femme fatale" or "dark feminine" energy

Style and energy: the dark feminine isn't about sparkles, frills and bows. It doesn't shy away from drama and flair, but it is done so tastefully, with mistique, by making the viewer wonder about the invisible, the unseen, the unspoken.

Outfit combo suggestions: black lace top/bodysuit with faux leather leggings and heels, turtleneck top with pencil skirt and back-lined pantyhose and heels, turtleneck top with cigarette pants, asymmetric top with faux leather skirt and platform boots, etc.

Accessories: silk/satin scarves, lace scarves, dagger jewelry (amulets, earrings), lace/satin gloves, etc

Make-up looks: smoky eyes and dark red lips, classic red lip with cat eye eyeliner. The focus is to inspire sensuality and mystery; we do this by accentuate the lips (reds or black) and adding intrigue to the gaze (smoky colors, black, deep rich jewel tones like reds/purples/blues). Avoid neutrals or combining too many colors, too much highlighter, blush, or bronzer. The focus is on the eyes and lips.

Other details: red/black nails (especially stiletto shape), symbols like roses, snakes, dragons (ie. as tattoos, jewelry or integrated in other ways into your look)

Dark feminine icons: Dita von Teese

Hope this inspires you. These are all items I have in my own wardrobe so they are the first that come to mind.

-Lumen

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🎀 Shop reopened 🎀

I don't think I've mentioned it here yet but I actually reopened my online shop!! 🥳 It was on hiatus for a while as I was juggling many things in my personal life, but it's now open.

My poem collection Pearls Of Twilight is available again, and I've also launched some selfcare planners, printables and my Manifesto Of Self Love. Check them out here:

sklumen.com/shop

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𝐒.𝐊. 𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍 | Writer & Artist on Instagram: "Michelangelo once said “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”. Every ar

7 likes, 8 comments - sk.lumen on November 13, 2024: "Michelangelo once said “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”

My first on-screen appearance & showing the making of an oil painting. 🎨 If you enjoy my content, check it out, your support means a lot. 💖 💖

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divine feminine sketches by yours truly 🎀