SUMMARY: Dazai and Chuuya make a bet about who will make you fall for them first
WARNINGS: fluff, slight angst if you squint, Dazai and BSD (yes they‘re a warning, be prepared for any character), not proofread
WORD COUNT: about 480
NOTES: @broken-spirit101 I finished! Surprise I wanted to be silly and post it today. I enjoyed writing this so much, I hope you like it <3 I can and I will make a story about this too.
oh god-
you got caught in something huge
there won‘t be a battle, there will be war
when you went on a mission for the port mafia, you were assigned to go with them
and when you act cold to them first, they‘re like woah- they got guts
but they‘re also hella interested in you, which is why soon enough you warm up to him
soon enough after that, the king of bandages just had the idea to make a bet about who can make you fall for them first
and Chuuya being the (lovable) shithead he is, agreed, not being able to refuse
CONSTANT PDA
you‘ll get flirted with 24/7 and there is no escape
flowers, gifts, acts of service and words-
you name it, you‘ll get it
dazai will offer you his coat when it‘s raining and you magically lost your umbrella
the other second chuuya will rush towards you offering to drive you home
you can basically sense it everytime they glare at each other even though they try to hide it
chuuya will go shopping with you or take you on rides with his motorcycle at night
and Dazai will offer you to go to the bar lupin together, so he can introduce you to Ango and Oda
It didn‘t take you too long to figure out what they were doing
so you distanced yourself for a bit
and god-
they couldn‘t stand it being away from you for only a second
they were arguing with each other, yelling out curses and insults in a row until both of them are sick of seeing the other
in the time you were away from them though, they noticed just how much you actually meant to them
dazai couldn‘t sleep without you, he was restless and missed you, he craved for your touch and your voice, with which you would sometimes sing a soothing song for him while running your hands through his silky brown hair
chuuya was just as bad. He missed hearing you talk about your favorite things, like clothes, movies, games and such stuff. He doesn‘t feel like riding his motorcycle without your arms wrapped around his slim waist
so they agreed to apologize to you and tried to be cooperative when it came to who will spend time with you
when they somehow found out where you lived, they immediately appeared before your doorstep with flowers, gifts and apologies
you let it slide
but not before guilt tripping them ofc
and finally-
after so many restless nights the warmth that was missing for a while and the beautiful voice of yours was finally back
with dazai‘s head buried in the crook of your neck while sleeping peacefully and chuuyas arms wrapped around your waist from behind while he murmured small nothings in his sleep-
there was no other place you wanted to be at
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Did he curse his birthday because it means he survived another year?
Probably.
Dazai once told you when his birthday was, and you made a note to yourself not to forget the date, because you just knew he would probably never mention it again.
You started preparing his birthday two weeks before the date, since it would be hard to hide everything. He’s observant, and you couldn’t get caught while setting everything up.
For example:
The cake.
First of all, you guessed that Dazai would come to work exactly 45 minutes late as always. And you also knew Dazai would probably just slander around and maybe even decide not to come to work at all, just because he feels like it.
So of course, you couldn’t risk setting everything up in the Agency, when he’s not even gonna show up.
You had to bring the cake into his apartment.
And that was the most difficult task. To get into his house at 5 in the morning, while setting up decorations and gifts and bringing in the cake.
Now the question was: How the heck will that work, and how will you make sure he doesn’t wake up?
First answer is: Making sure the Agency is involved because it will be easier for you and for them.
Second answer is: Giving him pills to make him fall into deep slumber.
And again, a new question forms.
How were you going to make him swallow the pill, and make sure he doesn’t get suspicious?
Two words.
Dinner and Kunikida.
The day before his birthday, you went into a restaurant with Dazai and Kunikida. When you were there, you ordered something for you AND for Dazai, because you always force him to eat at least one meal per day.
So when you got your orders from the waiter, Kunikida started to scold Dazai because he hasn’t been doing his work earlier. Dazai of course whined and pouted at Kunikida because he’s just being mean to him.
And that’s when you placed the pill into his dinner. You made sure to order something rather hard for him to eat, and also made sure to place the pill like that, so he wouldn’t bite through it. Cause if that happened, you would’ve been doomed.
Thankfully to Kunikida’s scolding, he hasn’t noticed the pill, since Kunikida also made sure to hit him a few times, just to get Dazai to almost choke on his food, which hid the fact that there was a pill, pretty well.
When Dazai arrived at his apartment and just- let him fall on his futon, he immediately slept in. Poor baby probably didn’t have such a nice rest in years.
And in the morning, you and the Agency picked his lock and started to decorate everything and bring everything inside what was needed. You made sure everyone shut up by challenging them to a game.
Whoever spoke first, would have to pay all the activities Dazai wants, or has, to go to.
Of course, that made everybody shut up. At least for some while.
And at 8 a.m, the male snow white has awaken from his deep slumber.
Back to the moment
The door opens with a quiet squeaky sound, and the famous man in bandages and beige trench coat appears.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAZAI!”
The air gets caught in Dazai’s lungs. His eyes were wide open, and he freezes for solid 10 seconds. It was rare to see him like this.
Snap!
You quickly took a picture, a cheeky smile playing on your lips.
“Sorry, I just had to. Couldn’t help it when you looked so shocked~” you announced, feeling amused.
Dazai’s eyes quickly adjusted to the light, since you’ve snapped a pic of him with lightning, and looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“…You did that? You planned all of- this?” he questioned, looking baffled and surprised.
“Yeahhh I thought it would be nice to celebrate your birthday. Even though you don’t celebrate it, I- We-“ you point at the whole Agency,
“-thought it’s worth doing this. Now c’mon birthday boy, you got a cake to eat and candles to blow out!” you announced while taking Dazai by his wrist and dragged him to sit down while Kenji brought the cake.
It was a rather medium, but very pretty cake. It had blue roses as decoration on it and blue/white cream icing too.
“Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~ Happy birthday dear Dazai~ Happy birthday to you~”
Dazai couldn’t believe it. The fact that you managed to hide all of this- and the fact that you somehow managed to remember what day his birthday was. You truly do care.
He sits there with a gentle- sincere smile and finally blows out the candles after you and Atsushi excitingly tell him to make a wish and blow them out already.
Everyone enjoyed themselves. Laughter and music echoed through the room while you and Dazai talked on the couch.
“Sooooo, how did you manage to do this?” Dazai asked in an amused tone.
“Welllllll,” you dragged “I miiiight have placed some sleeping pills into your dinner yesterday…” you explained, scratching the back of your head a bit to hide the amusement.
“…I’ve been betrayed by my dearest! How dare you! I thought you were my partner in crime, but you’re just a traitor! You’ll pay for that!” Dazai exclaimed, teasing you.
“Oh don’t worry about the bills today, Kunikida lost a challenge. Again.”
“WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY?! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘AGAIN’?!” Kunikida yelled at you two from the other side of the room, clearly having heard the conversation.
“Happy Birthday, Dazai” you said calmly, ignoring Kunikida’s protests.
“…Thank you. For everything.”
And in case you wonder what Dazai wished for when he blew out the candles…
‘Let them stay with me forever’
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You don‘t know how you‘ve gotten yourself into this. Not even the slightest idea.
With a princess dress hanging down on your figure and red lipstick planted on your lips, nobody knew either.
It was supposed to be for a mission, but you felt very skeptical about it. One second you were at a meeting with the other Agency members, and the other second Naomi and Yosano basically rushed you into the mall. Quite literally l might add. The missions main target was actually quite simple. You were supposed to interrogate an executive of a criminal organisation for information and then take that information back to the agency.
But there was one problem.
That guy has a weird obsession for stage plays. No matter what kind of stage play it is, that guy is there. You were supposed to take a role of one of the stage actors. The Armed Detective Agency needed the information as quickly as possible and that was the catch, because the soonest stage play was-
Snow white.
You were actually really good at disguising yourself in missions and stuff, but never once did the thought of having to take the main characters role cross your mind. Your mind kind of panicked when Kunikida mentioned that but the final strike was saved for the end. Because your partner who‘s going to accompany you on this mission-
Was no other than the Dazai Osamu.
And for the love of god - you were so freaked out about that bit of information. Because - You, Dazai + a stage play of Snow White in which you two are the main characters? The mere thought send shivers down your spine. It would be so awkward to you because you two were such good friends and when Kunikida showed you your paragraphs you almost fainted.
The both of you were supposed to kiss.
Boy did you regret on agreeing to go on this mission but there is no backing off from it now. And the other members of the agency weren’t a big help either. Kenji had hearts in his eyes as if he had never been so happy in his life before. Naomi and Tachihara were…doing their thing while telling you you‘ll do great. Kunikida gave you a sympathetic face because of your partner. Yosano beamed and silently said something like “Yes! My ship finally worked out!”. And Ranpo - God you wanted to smack him - had the biggest and smuggest smile on his face and stared as if to say ‘Just as planned’.
And Dazai?
Well, for some reason he seemed totally chill about this.
Keyword: Seemed.
His mind was screaming and squealing at the same time. His heart felt as if it would jump outta his ribcage any millisecond and was thumping loudly. His body tried to tie itself onto the chair in hopes to not run you over and hug you tight. His brain was telling him to calm himself down before he overheats and stopped him from smashing his lips onto yours right away. But you didn’t notice, all he did was smile at you and telling you it‘ll be fun to go on a mission together again. Yet there was a thing you indeed did notice.
It was the way his eyes seemed brighter and were sparkling with joy when he was mentioned to be your partner on this mission.
The afternoon was absolutely glorious for the agency members. They were dressing you up, trying out make up to see which colours look best on you and were styling your hair. Accessoires lipstick and shoes were everywhere and anywhere.
Long story short, you got dressed up as snow white while Dazai got dressed up as the prince coming to rescue you from death. And when I tell you that your heart suddenly skipped a beat or two when you saw him.
White coat made of the finest and softest looking coat hanging of his body. Hair tucked behind his ear exposing more of his face. White polished shoes with golden symbols drawn on them. A white leather shirt with the same golden symbols that were on his shoes. Gosh he looked so freaking pretty. Those beaming brown eyes staring at you, checking you out.
You had to prevent from falling down onto the floor right here and there.
“Ready to take our leave darling~?” He asked in that silk voice of his. At the mention of the nickname you had to prevent yourself so hard to not get all rosy in front of him.
“Whatever prince charming.” You answered as you walked past him as he had that stupid attractive smirk on his face and sat into the car while he did the same.
The stage play was nearing it‘s end scene, and boy were you nervous. You were currently lying on your deathbed with red roses surrounding your body and head in their smell and appearance. Eyes closed, hair hanging down, light pointed at you and the lingering stare of the target was all that kept you awake. All that kept you sane at this moment.
Soon enough you heard footsteps approaching you. It was him. It was Dazai. The prince was going to have to kiss his princess in order to keep them from dying.
A kiss of life.
The scent of cherry blossoms surrounded you the closer he got, and the closer he got, the more anxious you became. Was this really about to happen? Were you and your friend really about to kiss? Were you really ready to sacrifice your friendship for the sake of the mission? Well, there was no backing down from it now…
Just like that, he stood above your figure. You could hear the audience going death quiet and completely focused on the both of you. You also were able to hear his soft breathing. It was pretty calm despite the situation you both were in. Slowly he began to kneel and bow down towards your face - gosh you probably would have squirmed away once you felt the tips of his rather long hair graze your cheeks if it weren’t for the audience in the same room. So you kept still and just kept quiet.
Just as his lips were a mere inch away from yours, he whispered in a hushed and admirable silky tone.
„Such pretty lips“
And then-
Fireworks. Butterflies. Light and thoughts crashing through your mind like crazy. Felling as if you were driving a car at full speed on the highway while drunk. The way your heart made a major jump at the feeling of his slight pink soft lips on yours. God you wanted to scold yourself for enjoying doing this with your friend. The feeling of his lips slowly moving against yours sent you to cloud 9. Curse him for being such a good kisser.
And once your eyes fluttered opened? Don‘t even get me started. The way those half open eyes were staring at yours, those warm big brown seductive eyes searching for one more kiss - desperately trying to restrain himself from leaning in again.
Yeah that definitely was a kiss of life.
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HIII!!!! Soooo, I don't really know if you have heard of demon slayer or watched it because I JUST found out about your page buttttt, I say your Osamu x S/O who's similar to Usagi Tsukino and i want to know if you could do an S/O who's similar to Mitsuri Kanroji from demon slayer. So basically, she's a huge sweetheart who is very passionate and emotionally, she also swoons over her comrades in her head. She can be childish at times and she gets embarrassed easily, despite being a kind and innocent young woman, she is not afraid to get down on business with enemies. She be standing on business Fr fr. She's super strong, like REALLY strong and she eats A LOT (I do too).
Anyways, that's pretty much it. I wanted to ask because I LOVE Mitsuri sososososo much. She's so me and I love her with all my heart 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
HI NONNIE <333 I‘M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE, I WAS REALLY BUSY. But I‘m happy you found my blog <3 And ofc I‘m gonna write, gotta feed you all.
He admires you for every bit of your personality and character
Dazai loves how much of a big sweetheart you are, because you‘re like a ray of sunshine
He wants you by his side for as long as he can keep you there, he couldn’t afford to lose you
This fucker man would definitely use every advantage and chance to embarrass you and tease you
A slight touch on your thigh, a light touch on your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear
Pls smack him.
He‘ll make comments like:
“Aww is my sweet little darling getting all flustered by some innocent touches~? I‘m more than capable to do more~ Hm? What‘s that? I should stop teasing~? But darling, how could I ever EVER do that if you look so adorable with red cheeks~!“
Again, smack him.
He‘ll pull the craziest thing to get you to blush, like getting the car door for you in the most dramatic way you‘ve ever seen.
Loves to pull pranks on Kunikida with you once you get to know him too
Will absolutely introduce you to Kenji, you two are and ICONIC duo in his eyes
Cinnamon roll but can actually kill you vibes kind like duo
He will tease you RELENTLESSLY once he saw how you treated and got down to business with enemies
Deep down he knows he‘s a simp for the way you made your enemies fall to their knees
“Could you do me a favor and choke me with your merciless hands darling“
Do it.
ANYWAYS
You love food? Get ready bc this man has a lot in store for you.
You‘re craving ramen, burgers, fries or lasagne?
This guy already predicted it and bought you all of it with extra deserts
With Kunikida‘s money obviously
He‘ll watch you while you eat
Not like a creep though, but more like admiring you
The way your jaw moves when you chew, the way your lips get stained by the sauce…
Can and will say he‘s enjoying the view. He‘s a charmer.
Overall, this guy will tease you at any given moment, but guess you‘ll have to deal with him.
Cause he‘s not leaving your side anytime soon.
Do not steal/claim, repost, edit or translate my work in any way. Reblogs and Comments are very appreciated <3
SUMMARY: Dazai has been acting very distant towards you lately. Cold even. It was as if a demon has been summoned, and a curse was set upon you. Anxiety rises, and in the end - you break.
WARNINGS: Angst with no happy ending, including the song “My boy only breaks his favorite toys” by Tayler Swift, not proofread
WORD COUNT: 1.3k
NOTES: @extemporeies I‘m done! I love your requests and I enjoyed writing this so much, I cannot put it into words. You all motivate me so much, I had an adrenalin rush writing this. Also sorry for posting this so late- I had to hack myself through technology problems and then it got pretty busy in school- but hey- I‘m back now
“Oh, here we go again.”
You were so exhausted.
„The voices in his head”
The rain fell in a relentless cascade, a mournful backdrop to the shattered fragments of what once was. Dazai sat across from you, his eyes distant and unreadable, lost in the turmoil of his own making. The room felt suffocatingly quiet, filled with the weight of unspoken words and the ache of broken promises.
“Called the rain to end our days of wild”
You had tried so hard to hold onto him, to navigate the labyrinth of his pain and draw him back from the edge. But every attempt seemed futile, as if he was determined to drown in the darkness that consumed him.
“The sickest army doll”
You had become his favorite toy, cherished yet inevitably destined to be discarded when the allure faded.
“Purchased at the mall”
“Rivulets descend my plastic smile”
The silence stretched between you, heavy with the weight of your unvoiced frustrations and his silent indifference. You yearned for him to speak, to acknowledge the pain he caused, but his silence was deafening—a testament to his inability or unwillingness to confront his demons.
“But you should've seen him”
“When he first got me”
You remembered the first time you met, how his charisma had drawn you in like a moth to a flame. His smile had been infectious, his laughter a symphony that had once filled your days with warmth. But now, those memories felt distant, eclipsed by the reality of his absence and your heartache.
“My boy only breaks his favorite toys”
“I'm queen of sand castles he destroys”
Your hand hovered in the space between you, fingers curling into a fist before relaxing into a tentative reach. You longed for connection, for the fleeting moments of tenderness that had become rare as he drowned his sorrows in alcohol and late nights.
“Cause it fit too right”
“Puzzle pieces in the dead of night”
As the rain drummed against the windowpane, you felt the weight of your decision settling over you like a lead blanket. This was your crossroads—the moment when you had to choose between self-preservation and clinging to a love that seemed destined for ruin.
“Should've known it was a matter of time”
“Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys”
With a heavy heart, you rose from your seat, the room spinning as you steadied yourself against the table. Each step toward the door felt like a betrayal—to your own well-being, to the dreams you had once shared, to the hope that had kept you anchored in a sinking ship.
“There was a litany of reasons why”
“We could've played for keeps this time”
The tears you had fought so hard to contain finally spilled over, tracing a path down your cheeks as you reached for the door handle. Your hand trembled, the cold metal a stark contrast to the warmth you craved—the warmth that had faded from Dazai's touch long ago.
“I know I'm just repeating myself”
“Put me back on my shelf”
But just as you turned the handle, a whisper pierced the silence. "Stay."
“But first - Pull the string”
“And I'll tell you that he runs”
You froze, the sound reverberating through your bones like an echo from another lifetime. Slowly, hesitantly, you turned back to face him. Dazai's gaze was intense, his eyes boring into yours with a rawness that spoke of regret and longing buried beneath layers of apathy. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Because he loves me.”
He didn't speak, didn't offer excuses or promises. His silence was his shield, his fortress against the vulnerability of confronting his own shortcomings. Yet, in that moment, you saw beyond the facade—the fractured man who struggled to reconcile his inner turmoil with the love he couldn't fully embrace.
“Cause you should've seen him”
“When he first saw me.”
"I can't do this anymore," you whispered, your voice cracking with the weight of your own despair. "I can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not."
“My boy only breaks his favorite toys”
“I'm queen of sand castles he destroys”
Dazai's expression softened imperceptibly, a flicker of pain crossing his features before being masked by the mask of indifference he wore like armor. He didn't move, didn't reach out to stop you as you turned away once more, your heart heavy with the knowledge that you were walking away from the wreckage of what could have been.
“Cause I knew too much”
“There was danger in the heat of my touch”
Days turned into weeks, and the ache of his absence settled into a dull ache that refused to fade. You tried to move on, to fill the void with distractions and new beginnings, but his memory lingered like a stubborn ghost haunting the corners of your mind.
“He saw forever so he smashed it up”
“Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys”
You heard about him through mutual acquaintances—of his late nights at the bar, of his reckless behavior that bordered on self-destruction. Each rumor cut deeper than the last, a painful reminder of the man you had loved and the man he had become.
“Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me”
“Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me”
But despite it all, you couldn't let go completely. The bond that had once tethered you to him refused to be severed by time or distance. It was a love stained with regret and longing, a love that defied logic and reason.
“Just say when, I'd play again”
One night, as the rain fell in a gentle drizzle outside your window, you found yourself standing on his doorstep. The sound of your knocking echoed through the empty hallway, a hesitant plea for forgiveness and understanding.
“He was my best friend”
“Down at the sandlot”
The door creaked open, revealing Dazai standing before you, his expression unreadable. He looked tired, worn down by the weight of his own demons. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence pregnant with unspoken apologies and unresolved pain.
“I felt more when we played pretend”
“Than with all the Kens”
"I shouldn't have come," you finally whispered, your voice barely audible above the sound of the rain. "I just... I needed to see you. To know if there's anything left between us."
“Cause he took me out of my box”
Dazai remained silent, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher the truth hidden within your words. You took a step closer, the space between you charged with the electricity of years spent apart yet bound by a love that refused to be extinguished.
“Stole my tortured heart”
"I don't know how to fix us," you admitted, the confession hanging between you like a fragile thread. "But I can't stop loving you, no matter how much you hurt me."
“Left all these broken parts”
He flinched imperceptibly, a flicker of pain crossing his features before being replaced by the mask of indifference. He didn't speak, didn't offer reassurances or apologies. His silence spoke volumes—a testament to the walls he had erected around his heart, walls that had kept you out even as they trapped him within.
“Told me I'm better off”
"I know you don't care," you continued softly, your voice trembling with the weight of your own vulnerability. "But I do. I care enough to stay, even when it hurts."
“But I'm not”
For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath, suspended in the fragile space between despair and possibility. And then, without a word, Dazai stepped aside, a silent invitation to cross the threshold into the fractured sanctuary of his world.
“I’m not”
You hesitated, uncertainty clawing at your resolve. But deep down, you knew that this was your chance—the chance to confront the demons that had driven you apart, the chance to rebuild what had been shattered by silence and regret. In the end, it just didn’t work out the way you wanted. But that was okay. You’re his favorite toy after all.
“I’m not.”
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Heyyyy!!! I was wondering if you could do Dazai x his female s/o who has a similar personality as Usagi Tsukino??? so basically a big clumsy, naive, lazy, immature, crybaby with a really big heart, like she's supper kind, a little too kind for her own good. Thank you if you do this XD!
Sure! And of course you‘re welcome <3
Headcanons for Dazai with a fem! s/o who has a similar personality as Usagi Tsukino
Okay well this is hard
Bc I think Dazai would adore you in every single way, yet he would be so worried about you the whole time
I mean, you -> a pretty clumsy and naive sweetheart with a huge heart PLUS Dazai Osamu -> Former Port Mafia Executive who is not really liked from many people and is probably getting hunted down by many and several people and massive groups-
Well, darn.
Like, GIRL WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS WITH HIM AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW DID YOU END UP WITH HIM OUT OF ALL PEOPLE?!
The answer?
Simple.
You love him with all of your heart, while he got tired of denying his love for you.
He didn‘t want to lose the opportunity to have you as his s/o
And gosh, he never regretted letting you in
He adores you, you can tell it from his gaze ♡
Every time you bring him his lunch when he forgot it, he would always give you a big bear hug, kisses your forehead, (while ehhh…asking you to take him away from a…a certain blonde man with ideals), and looks at you with those warm chocolate melted eyes, silently begging for you to stay with him forever
If you feel self-conscious about your clumsiness, don‘t
Dazai will 100% tease you for it most of the time, but he‘ll use that as an excuse to hide from the high stacks of awaiting paperwork on his desk
He absolutely will not allow you to go on missions alone. At least not one ones that have to do with the Port Mafia or the Decay of Angles (I hope I wrote that correctly-)
He wants someone to be with you, him being there of course being the best option yet he also trusts Atsushi or Kunikida to take care of you if something happens
This guy melts every.single.time you show him affection of some kind
Doesn‘t matter if it‘s an act of service or physical affection - everything is good
Also - if you don‘t feel like working and want to be lazy - let him join, after all he‘s literally waiting for you to become bored and unmotivated
Heck if you work at the ADA he‘ll most likely drag you to their couch and just nap with you there for solid 30 minutes (that is if Kunikida doesn‘t come it with steam coming outta his ears-)
He absolutely loves the dynamic between you, Kenji and Atsushi
You‘re all so gentle and sweet he wishes he could just drown himself in your love and your big heart
He was totally adoring the way how gentle you were when Kyouka first arrived at the ADA, bc even though you knew what she had done, you still treated the young girl like a precious gem ♡
Overall he would still love his s/o no matter what
And when he asks this:
„What did I ever do to deserve you?…“
Pls respond like this
„Born Osamu. You were born“ and brushed back his bangs to softly peck his forehead.
Please don‘t copy my work in any way. Reblogs, comments and likes are very appreciated.
