The Fellowship and if I (someone who has a tendency to hit folks) would hit them, oh also where I’d be hitting them & how
Okay, so I saw this while scrolling on the Legolas headcannons tag and I wanted to do it myself. Here’s the original post if anyone’s interested: https://www.tumblr.com/mushroomates/759404916709212160/the-fellowship-and-if-id-punch-them-in-the-face
Anygays, let’s get on with it ✨
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Frodo: I would NEVER. Like, maybe if he was having a Ring™️ moment I’d slap him or sumn but that’s as far as I’d ever go. Probably face because it’s either that or stomach and the stomach hurts a lot more.
Sam: hell tf nah. Once again, at most I’d slap him, maybe a little harder than I would Frodo but still no. Also face again.
Merry: slap across the face (again, yes, ik), probably for doing some stupid shit. It’d be slightly affectionate tho.
Pippin: literally the exact same as Merry because I still can’t tell them apart.
Legolas: first off, I would like to say that me and Legolas have a lot of similar qualities, especially humor and general charisma wise. Second off, I’m definitely going to be punching him in the gut at some point, no further questions.
Gimli: y’know the saying “the shorter you are, the closer you are to the ground. And the closer you are to the ground, the closer you are to Satan?” Yeah. That one. The fucker would take my legs. No. (Also I don’t think he’d give me a reason to unless we was play fighting.)
Gandalf: Grandpas getting punched wherever is available. (Probably for pulling some wizard shit and spooking me lmao)
Aragorn: like the og post says, he would drop kick my ass. Not happening. Next question.
Boromir: it’s ON SIGHT. I WILL be clockin that fucker in the face and givin him a reality check or two you CANNOT stop me. (Yes the “they’ve taken the little ones” was sweet. He’s still getting clocked. We can be chill after tho.)
Gollum/Smegul: not unless he attacked me first, and even then I’m pulling my punches cause that fucker is FRAIL.
