Summary: Pansy's estranged mother has died, and after an unfortunate event at the funeral, Theo shows her who her real family is.
Pairing: Theo Nott x Pansy Parkinson
Warning: Implied parental abuse, shower smut, mourning
A/N: Hi all, thanks for stopping to read a quick Pansy & Theo one-shot because lets be honest, Theo deserves some happy content. I wanted to point out that after some research I could not find Pansy's parents names, so I named them myself. Ravenna for her mother and Thames for her father. These characters are obviously not canon, and unfortunately I do not own the rights to any of the other characters mentioned.
Pansy found out the news of her mothers passing and the date of the funeral, all within the same letter. In their shared bedroom Theo was still fast asleep as she read the letter in her fathers messy handwriting, once, twice, three times before she understood that she was expected to make an appearance. She wrinkles her nose at the thought of speaking to a crowd of strangers about a person she had not seen in over 5 years, a person who disapproved of every action she did, a person who was the shell of what a mother should be.
Could have been. Pansy corrects herself, sipping thoughtfully at the coffee mug in her hand.
Ravenna had never wanted a daughter; she'd wanted a son. She had never confirmed it, but Pansy knew. She always knew she was unwanted, especially when she was sent to Hogwarts. She begged her parents not to send her away, that she could go to the school near their mansion, but they would not listen.
"It's important you know the Malfoy boy." Ravenna had instructed. "He'll make something of you yet."
Those words had been another solidifying reason when Pansy ultimately ended things with Draco.
They weren't very compatible, lacking a real spark in anything but sex; besides, it had been something Ravenna wanted, therefor Pansy had to push back.
Theo came not long after.
He was quiet yet confidant, both qualities Pansy lacks, and while he was dating Penelope, she secretly pleaded with herself that she had not liked him, that she did not wish him and Penelope ill-fortune, that he was too decent of a man, even for a Slytherin, to be bothered with someone like her.
How things had changed from their Hogwarts days.
"Whatcha reading?" Theo asks, shirtless, leaning against the doorframe with his head to the side.
"Oh nothing," Pansy replies, folding up the letter and placing it on the side table. "Ravenna died." Theo stares at her, and instantly sat beside her on the couch, pulling her into a hug.
"Pans I'm so sorry." He murmurs into her hair. He smells like sincerity, his fingers soft against her shoulders and back.
"The funeral is next week." She says, hugging him back. "I'll need to go to it."
"Of course," Theo nods, pulling back slightly so he could look at her. "I'll come as well, if that's alright." Pansy waves her hand lightly, untucking her feet from beneath her as she takes her coffee cup and pours the remaining contents down the sink.
"No need, love." She replies. "I'll just make an appearance and be back in the blink of an eye. No need to stick around places I'm not needed."
He shrugs, brushing the hair from his eyes. He knew how difficult her family was and did not push on issues regarding her mother, which she was forever grateful for. Theo challenged her, but never to the breaking point. He knew under all those sharp features and stoic grins there was a slightly damaged, fearful girl that just needed some appreciation.
Pansy pulls her coat from their linen closet, tying the belt around her waist as she pats the pocket of the coat, affirming her wand is safely tucked inside.
"Do you have to go to work today?" Theo yawns, and stretches out on the couch, his feet dangling off the side and his hands under his head in support.
"You know I do," Pansy replies, narrowing her eyes at him. "Don't try to distract me, I doubt the ministry would be appreciative."
"I'm sure Granger would understand that you need a day off." Theo suggests, and Pansy knew that he was right. Working under Hermione did have its perks, like her being a kind and understanding supervisor, but it also had its drawbacks which Theo had spent many nights listening to Pansy complain over.
"I know, but I should still be responsible," she replies, and Theo gave her a sympathetic look. "What?"
"Pans, your mum just died." He says softly, sitting up on his elbows. "It's ok to...feel that."
Pansy places her hand on the nob, contemplating his words.
"No. Ravenna died." She says and blew Theo a kiss before she walks out the door.
What exactly was one to wear to a funeral, besides black? Pansy chews her lip as she surveys her closet. Theo had already left work, giving her a dose of morning affection, and encouraging words before he left, and she had a little under two hours before the procession was supposed to start. She decides on a long black gown with sleeves, and a little silver detailing at the throat. After adorning silver earrings to match and red lipstick, she locks the door to their apartment and apparates to St. Mary's Church Hall.
Pansy lands with only a slight stumble on the dead grass of the church grounds, straightening her dress slightly as witches and wizards walked past her into the large open doors. Head high, she follows an elderly couple in, walking past them and up to the front pews. A silver metal casket was at the center of the alter, the lid closed, and Pansy breathed a sigh of relief. Glancing at the front pew, she gives a tight smile to Narcissa and Draco who were sitting down, their backs straight, and they both respond in the same tight-lipped grimace.
"I'm so sorry to hear of your mothers passing." Narcissa breaths as Pansy greeted them, grasping her palm. "We wanted to offer our condolences."
"Thank you." Pansy replies, feeling stiff, like her manners were rusty.
Pansy inwardly scoffs as her father bounded over to her, placing his arms around both her and Narcissa and giving them a squeeze. "We were worried you wouldn't show."
"I wouldn't miss it." Pansy sneers and sat with a huff next to Draco. Thames had always suffered with alcoholism, even when Pansy was growing up, but she thought maybe he could keep it together for the hour it took to bury his dead wife.
As the funeral began, the priest talks of the life of Ravenna, her many accomplishments, and how she truly was never really gone, but lived in the hearts of those who knew her best.
"So, not in my heart." Pansy mutters under her breath, and she could her Draco snort beside her. When it is time for the eulogy, Thames waddles up to the podium and leans against it, sweat glistening slightly on his brow.
"Well, what a turn out." He bellows, his mouth too close to the microphone and Pansy cringes. "Ravenna would have been so...so overjoyed to have you all here." With shaking hands Thames removes a scrap of paper from his waist coat, unfolding it as he clears his throat.
"My wife...my wife was not an overly-kind woman. She was sharp. Her voice, her face, even her clothing had a harsh kind of shine to it." Thames says, and Pansy could feel her cheeks warm as she stares at her father, a man she had not seen in a long time, his face twisting from a drunken glow to a melancholia-like sadness. "I knew she was not well perceived, that because of her approach, she was not well liked. But she was the love of my life." He choked on the word 'life', wiping his brow with the back of his hand.
"She loved me in the only way she knew how, and she was far from perfect, but she was mine, just mine." He paused, and Pansy could see the tears at the corner of his eyes that mimicks her own. "If you could have seen her in her rawest forms. Before going to sleep, when she would play piano. Even when she was teaching our Pansy to walk."
Thames turns his head and stares at Pansy, his eyes pleading with hers, like they were asking her something.
Pansy stares back, her hands and arms feeling slightly buzzed, like she had sipped some of that Jameson her father was so clearly depending on.
"She loved you." Thames says, as if Pansy were the only person in the room. "I-I know she was terrible at showing it, horrid even. But she adored you, her Precious Pansy."
Pansy could feel the blood thrumming behind her ears, could see all the eyes in the church now on her, and her chest felt constricted, tight like a bow string.
Her legs feel weak as she stands up, and she could feel the cool liquid of a tear run down her cheek. "Did she?" Pansy says, and her voice tight, wobbly.
She would not cry, not in front of all these people.
Not in front of Thames. Not over Ravenna.
"She could have shown me."
Narcissa whispered something Pansy didn't hear as she removed her wand from her coat pocket, grasping it tightly, and shot her father one last look.
He might as well have been a stranger.
"Goodbye, father." Pansy whispers, narrowing her eyes, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to escape once more. "If I should even call you that."
She lands in the apartment with a thud, banging her wrist slightly on the dining table as she ungracefully hits the floor. She hisses, clutching her arm to her and sniffling slightly. She could tell Theo wasn't home yet, almost grateful to be alone as she rubs the inside of her arm and lets out a choked sob.
She strips her clothing and steps into their shower, turning on the water while standing beneath the faucet, shivering as the cold water hit her back and waits with chattering teeth for it to warm.
She's unsure of how long she stays beneath the spray, long enough for it to turn cold once more, and eventually she removes herself from the safety of the water, brushing her short hair out as she exits the bathroom. Theo is sitting on the edge of their bed, hands clasped together with a milk-white envelope between his fingers.
"Hey Pans," he murmured softly. "How was the funeral?" He stands and walks to her slowly, tentatively brushing his hands against her still-damp shoulders, dipping his head to look at her face.
She smiles up at him, but it feels wrong, like it was too wide, and she looks away.
"That for me?" she asks, gesturing to the envelope. Theo nods as she takes it from him.
She had been expecting some kind of backlash but so soon was a little unnerving.
The envelope explodes, jumping out of her hands and the voice of her father echoes from the howler.
"You ungrateful BITCH. How DARE you cause a scene like that?" The howler roars, and Pansy takes a step back, colliding with Theos chest. "You fucking live because we allowed you to, because I allow you to and this is how you repay us? By dismissing the memory of your mother, in front of all her peers? There is no inkling of a doubt in my mind that your lack of compassion is what killed her. You broke her heart, you wretched, filthy, awful fucking girl" his voice trips on all the adjectives he spoke, his syllables slurring. "I never want to see you again. My daughter died today, in that god damn church."
With a pop, the howler is gone, a plum of black smoke evaporating where it once floated.
Pansy is silent, blinking slowly, trying to process his words.
Her chest feels cracked. Uneven.
"Well, that answers your question I guess." She chuckles. Her throat feels raw.
"Theo, don't." Pansy shot back. She feels herself unwinding, her forehead aching, and she know if she opens her mouth, if she tries to tell him, she would be unraveled. "Can you just...make some dinner? I missed the reception."
He pauses for a moment, starring at her until she looked away. She feels too open, too exposed.
"Sure," Theo replies, and he cups her face. "I'm right here when you need me. I'll wait until you're ready." He kisses her cheek, his lips soft, comforting, and she almost sighs in anguish when he pulls away. He squeezes her shoulders tenderly, then exits their bedroom, closing the door lightly behind him.
Dressing quickly, she steels herself, remembering the years of unaccompanied life accomplishments and the lack of affection she had grown up without, and the anger bubbles in her chest.
She's glad Ravenna is dead. Relieved, even.
Then why did she feel so tired?
She and Theo ate a dinner of broccoli and garlic butter pasta, one of Theos famous dishes, and she listens with intent as he tells her about his day. He offers her a second helping, and took it, twirling her fork around the noodles as she watches him sprinkle salt on his dish. His bangs fall in his eyes as he talks, brown eyes sparkling slightly as he tells her how one of his new coworkers had accidently sent Blaise the wrong copy of a file and Blaise was so pissed off, he'd nearly hexed the man.
Theo is her family, this Labrador of a man, his shoulders broad as he makes an animated gesture and she laughs, a real laugh, and feels the weight lift from her as easily as melting snow.
The weight returns later that night as she awakes with a start, her heart beating wildly and a sheet of sweat covers her. As quiet as she can manage, she moves Theo's arm from around her waist and tip toes to the bathroom, stripping from her lounge set and stepping into the shower. The chilled water jolts her out of her sleepy stupor, and she feels the tears creep into her eyes. Pressing the heals of her palms against her eyes, she bites her lip and lets out a sob.
Pansy rarely cries; it's an odd sensation. She is not fond of it.
She leans her forehead against the white wall of their shower as the water begins to warm, her tears stream faster, and she covers her mouth slightly, trying to stifle her sobs.
She let out a small shriek as she hears the shower curtain move, spinning around to find Theo standing there, his clothes in a pile by his feet.
She nods, not trusting herself enough to speak.
He steps into the shower, sliding his arms round her and she leans against him. He kneads his finger tips into her shoulders, the small of her back, the base of her neck.
Its grounding and its terrific.
She began to cry again, and can feel Theos sympathy oozing out of him and she hates it.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I keep..." She falters, searching for the right word. "Keep getting upset."
"Because your mother died." He replies, moving to pull her flush against him, his lips against her shoulder.
"But she never acted like one." Pansy counters, her arms lace around his waist. She feels him press a kiss to her skin, a light electricity sprouting from the spot.
"That may be true," He replies, pulling his head back so he can look at her. "But she was still your mum, whether she acted as such or not, and you still are going to mourn her."
Leaning his forehead against hers, she shuts her eyes.
"You still have to grieve."
"What if," Pansy sniffles, not daring to look at him. If she did, if she sees his empathy, she might crack again. "What if I feel like I never got to apologize for...disappointing her."
"How could you have disappointed her?" Theo asks, his hands moving to her wet sides.
Pansy chuckles humorously. "I bet she would not have been pleased with my theatrics today."
"That's how you're handling it, then." Theo counters. "Everyone grieves differently, but everyone grieves. For some it comes in waves. For others it takes years. And still others, it's all consuming for the rest of their life."
Pansy didn't respond, but leans against him once more, his skin warm against hers and she feels the familiar need begin to pull in her lower abdomen. She snakes her hand between them, wrapping her fingers around him softly and he gasps.
"I don't think it's the best idea for tonight." Theo murmurs against her hair, but she keeps her hand there.
"Please," She says, turning to look at his face. "I just need to...to be reminded that someone...someone values me."
She feels positively ridiculous saying those words, practically begging for love, but she's so empty, so deprived. She knows he could fix that.
Theo's lips meet hers in a deep kiss, pressing his body closer and closer, entrapping her hand against them. "You are so loved, Pansy."
She swallows hard, her hand coming up to caress his curls that are matted down by the water. "Promise? Some days, i-it's really hard, I just feel worthless, and you're so wonderf-"
"You're not worthless. You are enough, Pansy. You're determined and compassionate and spirited and you are far from worthless."
She kisses him, and can feel him grow against her as he puts his hand down under her knee, slowly hooking her thigh over him. He moves his head against her neck, licking at the skin where her neck meets her shoulder, and she shudders against him.
"You are more than enough. You're everything."
Pansy kisses him again, and he lifts her leg more, dragging it slightly over his hip as his other hand braces him against the wall. She gasps against his lips, "Show me. Please." He hums slightly, taking her bottom lip between his teeth, and she can feel he's fully hard against her. Releasing her leg, he spins her around gently, his hands on her hips, thumbs rubbing in a circular motion. "Of course, of course sweetheart. Hands on the wall, love." She places her hands on the wall, and can feel his fingers between her legs, gliding between her folds easily from her arousal. He peppers her back and neck with kisses, whispering into her hair as he slips one finger in.
She gasps, her shoulders tensing, and he kisses between her shoulder blades.
"Relax," he commands, and she exhales. "Let me take care of you." She nods as she feels his finger curl inside her, and she whimpers against the wall, resting her forehead forward. She attempts to grasp him, but he pushes her hand away.
"This is about you. I can get my own release later. Lets help you relax."
During normal times she knows he'd be fast and hard, he would pin her against the wall and make her legs shake as he fucks her, pulling her hair and tell her how pretty she looks with her eyeliner running down her cheeks. But she loves that he can tell; he can tell what kind of sex she needs.
There was plenty of time for the rough kind later.
Theo presses closer to her, removing his hand from between her legs and snakes it up her torso, his hand wrapping around her chest and holding her in place as his other fingers travel to her center. Pansy can feel herself breathing hard and mewls slightly when he presses against her clit lightly. Theo pushes kisses against her shoulders, and she reaches back from the wall with her left hand, fingers moving into his hair.
Pansy stifles a sob, and feels Theo still for a moment before he moves his lips next to her ear, and pushes his fingers inside of her.
"I'm right here. We're together, me and you, a little family."
Pansy can feel her thighs tremble as he increases pressure on her clit with his thumb while his other two fingers are pumping slowly inside her.
"You're ok, sweetheart. I'm so sorry about today, we will make tomorrow better." He promises and moves his hand faster. "We're together."
He continues to pump his hands, whispering encouraging words into her hair until she feels the tears are gone and the pressure starts to build in her lower abdomen. It's consuming, and her breathing starts to pick up rapidly.
She forgets about Ravenna, about the disappointed look Narcissa had given her before she apparated, or about Thames' howler and all the absurd words he called her. She forgets about the lonely Christmases and the disapproving letters she received from her parents when she got a B+ in her Astronomy quiz, she forgets how cold Ravenna would be during holiday visits.
It's just her. Her and Theo. Their little family.
She can feel it building in her lower abdomen and tries to steady herself as she reaches the top of the peak, Theo's rhythm urging her, coaxing her to fall over.
With a small cry she comes against his hands, pulling at the strands of his hair slightly and pushing against him. Her breathing is fast, her chest rising steadily, and she can hear Theo encouraging her.
"There you go love, such a good girl. So beautiful."
She turns her head, pulling his face to hers and kisses him. He tastes like hope.
"You are not worthless. I love you so much, your fathers wrong about you. You are not worthless. You hear me?" Theo says, lifting his eyebrows as he looks at her. She removes her hands from the wall, turning in his arms. The water has cooled down significantly, and she buries her face in his chest. Her mother may be gone, and while she knew they had not reconciled, Pansy would eventually put Ravenna to rest. She knew she could, especially with Theo by her side.
