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Burial.

[Originally uploaded to Deviantart on May 9, 2019]

NEW PHOTO. Part of the ‘Cornelius, As it Was’ run.

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Preordain

Was it really all set in stone did I trap myself in a wheel is life just a zoetrope giving me the illusion of real? I thought fate was undefined but now my life is in confines like a marble circling the drain everything I do is preordained Not like I can complain i'm too comforted by the same i've set in motion the next year of my life ingrained and frustrated will I be if anyone attempts to thwart it one small deviation it's commotion irritating I will not let it be distorted Was this what I asked for? A future already laid out for me? A metronome never peaking ever slowly ticking to the center? I thought life was a story I tell but all it is was a carousel this hourglass shreds the same grain everything I do is preordained i just want to jump off this train not do the same thing over, over, over, again.... I remember how my childhood dreams were like a playground, i could do what I want, I could do everything, that window of opportunity just kept shrinking the older I kept getting destiny was a topic up to debate for me as this world's boundaries kept impeding trying to define the only thing that made me free but was this prophecy inscribed by me or is the powers that be at fault for my tragedy? there's a comfort in mediocrity a simple joy chasing the carrot on a stick i had the scissors to cut that string but maybe in the deep recesses of my mind there was a insistence not to otherwise was it really all set in stone? did I preordain all this just to keep my life plain at home? oh no, here comes the function again... Was it really just the rotation of planets that has kept my life spinning right back to this drab earth where I don't lose but far from winning? I thought the cubicles were far but now my door is barely ajar like drawing circles in the sand my futures already been planned Not like I would reprimand i take pleasure in the mundane all the structural i lived next year like it's today and bothered will I be if one tectonic shift disrupts it not my fault when I erupt I can't allow it to be sifted Was this what I truly wanted? a heartbeat flatlining by everything? to let this horizontal elevator take me to my grave and predestination? I thought ideas were for pretending but they're scripted like happy endings I'm trapped in a single picture frame everything I do is preordained I just want to even feel pain not to avoid it avoid you, be devoid ever ever again... My naive brain can't contain the big dreams and big goals within which is why they flood out my eyes in incremental decrees so it can be shoved in the shoebox suffocating my visions of beyond dead brown eyes all occupy my face I'm automatic and rudimentary was I the cause of this effect? is a invisible force struggling against the hopes I can only plan on having? it might play well to my ego just to blame others for this misery but seeing as I don't experience, merely react, I've been living the life to the bare minimum at it's fullest, but was it really the rotation of planets that preordain me to this shell of a human being? just so breaking out of it would be fleeting? so id' never break the mold of life's ultimate meaning? was it a excuse I've grown to start believing? look at me, all my sentences are still scheming.... Was it really set in stone? Was it really set in stone? Was it really set in stone? was it (all my hopes and dreams) Was it really just a carousel? Was it really just a carousel? Was it really just a carousel? Was it (everyone's fault for everything) Everything I do is preordained every sentence and measure aimed precisely to fit a statement (I thought fate was undefined) precisely to fit a statement (i thought the cubicles were far) every sentence and measure on par (I thought ideas were for pretending) EVERY FUCKING THING I DO IS A ENDING! Avoid consequence avoid experience avoid existence avoid feeling everything is preordained anyway I wish it was just my fears I wish it was just the wind but I can feel the end on every fiber of my ears over, over, again, again, avoid, avoid, devoid, devoid everything is preordained anyway I'm a book being read to it's last page I'm a old man ready to unplug of age I wish I could just fucking pretend but I know how this story already ends EVERY FUCKING THING I DO IS ENDING! NOT LIKE I CAN COMPLAIN I TOOK THE RIDE ON THAT CAROUSEL I TOOK THE RIDE ON THAT TRAIN I MADE A STORY I WAS TOO AFRAID TO TELL I WANTED TO LIVE ON A FLAT PLAIN I COZIED UP TO MY OWN PERSONAL HELL I LIKE IT WHEN IT'S ALL PREORDAINED OH GOD WHY AM I STRUCTURING AGAIN?! WHY CAN I STOP BEING A ROBOT EVER?! JUST GET ME OFF MY OWN BRAIN! IF ONLY UNPREDICTABLE WAS SANE! JUST LET ME BE UNIQUE AGAIN?! EVER? AT ALL? ONLY? WHEN? it's all... it's all the same.... whether knee deep in agony or high off my own shit I project my fate like it's beyond reshaping I've drawn a million different circles in the sand the planets all rotate in a million different ways was it really all the same in retrospect or is this subtle variation a decision I make forgetting the optics of my own imagination I deliberately made so limited mistake the forest between the trees can't read between the lines to understand the meaning life is ready to be chaotic with me maybe I could preordain life unnaturally and be free once again? avoid all semblance of functionality? break this stone I set into grains scrutinize the geology and find new avenues to run aground? unique or mundane it's all the same all preordained whether I like it or not...

#Preordain #Lance #Hammond #poetry #poem #fate #literature #writer #somethingguy912 #something #guy #912 #somethingpoetry #emotional #concrete #thought #tragedy #dilemma

You’re SPECIAL (FO4): Tanks

Back on the meat grinder of text we go. Here is the third You're SPECIAL in the format of FO4 that I promised, after having to coincide with the fact that the base special I made 4 years ago was inconsistent with the base specials of the other characters I made for said series. Even though I was able to get this one out in less than a month compared to Saboteurs, it actually took me more time to make it simply because I had to make cuts to their base attributes. In hindsight, I could've maintained them and still manage the Level 75 base that I was doing with the main protagonists, but THEN said characters would have even less perk points to use for PERKS than said Saboteurs! Anyhow, If you are curious about how I came about my conclusions for the original base special of the 'Unstoppable Forces', here is the link for you: https://www.deviantart.com/somethingguy912/art/You-re-SPECIAL-Steelhooves-VS-Rampage-431114990 As for what has differed from then and now, below: STEELHOOVES SPECIAL THEN: Strength - 7 / Perception - 10 / Endurance - 8 / Charisma - 6 / Intelligence - 7 / Agility - 7 / Luck - 5 STEELHOOVES SPECIAL NOW: Strength - 6 / Perception - 9 / Endurance - 7 / Charisma - 3 / Intelligence - 7 / Agility - 6 / Luck - 2 RAMPAGE SPECIAL THEN: Strength - 7 / Perception - 6 / Endurance - 10 / Charisma - 7 / Intelligence - 5 / Agility - 9 / Luck - 6 RAMPAGE SPECIAL NOW: Strength - 5 / Perception - 4 / Endurance - 10 / Charisma - 6 / Intelligence - 3 / Agility - 8 / Luck - 4 I'm certain that the cuts I made won't effect how I came to my conclusions for how I attributed their points those years ago. Steelhooves still generally has a high Perception with good Endurance and Intelligence, while Rampage is still high on Endurance and Agility with less than average points across the board. As for the vectors, well, I literally had no choice but to cave in and use the Rampage vector from :devVector-Brony: and the Steelhooves vector from :devBrisineo: , two artists that I borrowed heavily way back then. It's really fucking hard too when no other compatible vectors work, and barely any are available since it depends on their relative popularity. So with that all out of the way, the explanations for the perks <h2><u>STRENGTH</u></h2> <h4>Strong Back</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves is encased in Power Armor, it only makes sense that his overall capacity would increase, and he'd be more inclined to take a heavy load. <h4>Heavy Gunner</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Being a stereotypical BoS Paladin, Steelhooves likes his guns big and lanky. Grenade Launchers, Rocket Launchers, heavy plasma guns, Steelhooves prefers guns with impact. <h4>Blacksmith</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage isn't exactly interested into making melee weapons, making weapons for her more unarmed opinion do fall in line with her up in your face attitude with combat. <h4>Armorer</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves has managed to maintain his Power Armor relatively functioning for over 200 years, especially considering how he's incapable of taking it off! You can't accomplish that without having a vast knowledge of maintaining all the pieces together! <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's armor is a bit imposing, but does have it's faults considering that it only functions to hurts enemies if they make a retaliation. Still, it does take some handiwork to jut spikes all over yourself to turn yourself into Sonic straight out of hell. <h4>Iron Fist</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - Rampage is all about being personal with her combat, far beyond just using melee weapons. Her hooves are her greatest weapon, equally as manic and psychotic as she is. <h2><u>PERCEPTION</u></h2> <h4>Penetrator</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: - While Steelhooves hasn't necessarily blown your cover, his heavy ordinance of weapons usually helps to ensure you can't turtle in one place forever. Steelhooves is keen on flushing out any cowering opponents in battle. <h4>Refractor</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves not only is a pony encased in power armor, Steelhooves is a pony GHOUL encased in power armor, so energy weapons and otherwise radiation based weapons won't have much impact on him, if any! <h4>Demo Expert</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - May I repeat myself? Steelhooves grenades and rockets know where they are going, not nearly as clever as P-21, but still effective nonetheless. <h4>Locksmith</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage isn't a master of the lock as P-21 is, when Rampage happens to become one of her multiple peronalities (Twist specifically), she can easily get herself out of a lockpick pinch. <h4>Awareness</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves know every rock turned and every plain walked in his lifetime, it would make sense that Steelhooves would have an idea how to deal with certain enemies, especially of Alicorns. This requires the Nuka-World DLC, and if you don't have it, than Demolition Expert will be Three Stars. <u>Rampage</u> :star: - Rampage doesn't have as much steely observation that Steelhooves has, but she is capable of managing her opponents if she can control her psychotic nature. <h4>Rifleman</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that most of Steelhooves weapons are two handed, he would most certainly have a hand at holding a weapon even if strapped to his side like a saddle. <h4>Pickpocket</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage, if she happens to take the personality of Twist, also knows her way into stealing some things out of people's possessions, even if she isn't nearly as subtle as P-21 is. <h2><u>ENDURANCE</u></h2> <h4>Solar Powered</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's healing talisman makes her regenerate almost infinitely, no matter in what gruesome way she dies. So of course, during the Daylight, what little daylight there is in the Hoof, Rampage will regenerate herself constantly regardless of damage. <h4>Cannibal</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - In the rare circumstance that Rampage is in the need to eat some 'strange meat', she'll do it, as she has no convention of norms or civility. <h4>Adamantium Skeleton</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - her Healing Talisman recovers broken bones, lacerations, addictions, almost anything that would hurt Rampage, so Rampage has a inner Adamantium Skeleton beyond just perks! <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: - While Steelhooves is a ghoul and can recover some damage, and his power armor does blast back most small arms damage, Steelhooves is still vulnerable to more aggressive attacks from Deathclaws for example. <h4>Rad Resistant</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves has the best of both worlds when it comes to rad resistance. Not only is Steelhooves wearing armor that makes him resistant to it, him also being a ghoul makes him not only resist it, but HEAL HIM too! This requires the Far Harbor DLC to do, and if you don't have it, Adamantium Skeleton will have 2 stars. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is still susceptible to radiation literally destroying her body at a constant pace, through mere attrition Rampage is able to overcome what most would succumb to. <h4>Chem Resistant</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage can resist any negative addictions, her desire for Psycho with a bit of Peppermint Twists also give her more of a tolerance to it specifically. <h4>Lifegiver</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves ghoulish condition giving him healing from radiation, his power armor automatically inducing Stimpaks where needed, and of his hardy nature after 200 years of being encased, Steelhooves can take a lot of consistent damage without nudging. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage is quite a open target for enemies, seeing how blunt and CQC she is, but that doesn't necessarily make her resistant to sustained damage. Simply cutting her head off can merely slow her down with consistency, for example. Still, Rampage is damn stubborn with actually dying. <h4>Lead Belly</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that her healing talisman can make her disregard her own life, it only makes sense that Rampage could drink literally anything without fear of poison or intolerance to it. <h4>Toughness</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - A half zombified pony encased in solid steel would make anyone wary of trying to topple him, through lead or bone. Steelhooves can take the most of any damage you can throw at him. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - While Rampage can be slowed down given the right firepower, Rampage's temperance for pain with her constant regeneration make her battle scars almost eternal in combat. <h2><u>CHARISMA</u></h2> <h4>Animal Friend</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's personality of Twist, the most dominant of the four or so personalities, has a sort of reverence for animals and beasts, probably because they fight as primal as she does, so it makes sense that Rampage would have some knowledge of convening with the fauna. <h4>Lone Wanderer</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves is the ultimate stoic being. Even though he was re-recruited into the Post-War BoS as a Blue Star Paladin, seeing that Steelhooves cannot remove his armor as it is wedged into his skin as a result of the 'megaspells' makes him ultimately detached from everyone else, making this perk ideal for his lonely nature. You need the Far Harbor DLC to get four stars, and if you don't have it, Steelhooves gets one star in Cap Collector. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is definitely more dependent on her Arena job to keep her celebrity going, Rampage's inability to actually die makes her off putting to Blackjack and company, as she hopes that Blackjack will find a way to 'kill' her, often leading her to either leave the group or even betray her to get her sweet end. <h4>Lady Killer/Black Widow</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Rampage's personality as the Proditor makes her both a interpretor for the Zebra language and a cunning linguist for certain enemies, even if said Proditor is mostly stuck in the past. Rampage is also sort of conniving with the fact that her personalities are unpredictable. <h2><u>INTELLIGENCE</u></h2> <h4>Science!</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - BoS Paladins have a penchant for energy weapons, so it makes sense that Steelhooves knows how his own weapons work, particularly of said energy quality. <h4>Gun Nut</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Being alive for 200 years gives you an opportunity to have a feel for your weapons, again, I keep repeating myself, but Steelhooves knows how to use a fucking gun already! <h4>Medic</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - One of Rampage's personalities, Trottenheimer, gives her some ample knowledge in medicine, as Trottenheimer was med-bay pony for the Ministry of Peace. While limited in said use, given the length of the personality, Trottenheimer knows her anatomy. <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - Other than Steelhooves' automated stimpak injection, Steelhooves doesn't have a vast knowledge of medicine other than the simple and ordinary. It also doesn't help that being a ghoul makes it so that typical hygenics can be overlooked. <h4>VANS</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - Rampage's desire to kill herself have given her opportunity to know the lay of the land, in a sort of ways. From the borders of the Hoof to other notably dangerous areas. This will require the Nuka-World DLC to get, and if you don't have that, Rampage gets Four Stars in Medicine. <h2><u>AGILITY</u></h2> <h4>Ninja</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Another of Rampage's personalities, Angel, is a criminal who was tortured constantly and brought back to life with a healing talisman in order to further interrogate her. Angel was also a bit of a sociopath, which would make sense Rampage's core personality, and knew her way out of escaping dangerous situations, so Angel taking over Rampage makes her a bit more sneaky and subtle than what Rampage normally is. <h4>Moving Target</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: - Rampage is manic, crazy, and most importantly, all over the place. While a big and open target, Rampage is a ball of frenzy that is nearly impossible to track properly. <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: - While Steelhooves can keep himself on the go, his bulky armor does not necessarily make him as hard to aim for. <h4>Action Boy/ Action Girl</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: - Precise action is necessary for a win, as Steelhooves would go by. His Enhanced HUD also makes it a bit easier for him to track just how much AP he has to spare, and uses them carefully. You need the Far Harbor DLC to get 3 stars in this, and if you don't have it, Steelhooves gets one star in Gunslinger. <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - While Rampage is active and constantly pined for combat, Rampage is too reckless to properly manage her own stamina, even if it means very little to her. <h4>Mister Sandman</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - When Rampage is able to channel the personality of Angel, she is more than capable of quietly dealing with enemies before they even know what has happened. But only when, and it may very well backfire on her friends... <h4>Sneak</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Again, if Rampage is able to become Angel, she can help others to get out of hard situations with no alarms set, even if it may mean that she is doing it merely for her own good. <h4>Commando</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: - Steelhooves can use almost any automatic weapon you throw at him, because he's seen them all in his lifetime. There isn't anything he can't possibly use, in his prior combat work before the great war. <h2><u>LUCK</u></h2> <h4>Mysterious Stranger</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: - You might find it strange that I would put this perk on Rampage, but considering how unpredictable her behavior is already, it only makes sense that she'd have a unpredictable companion to help out in desperate times. <h4>Bloody Mess</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Rampage takes pride in all things blood and gorey. Nothing satisfies her more than just being literally covered in her enemies blood, including her own armor. She doesn't like killing her opponents clean or quickly for that matter! <h4>Scrounger</h4> <u>Steelhooves</u> :star: :star: :star: :star: - Seeing that Steelhooves had to keep his power armor even functioning in 200 years less than trying to make it combat the dangerous environment, Steelhooves knows where to pick his hooves around, seeing that he lived through it all to know where everything is. <h4>Fortune Finder</h4> <u>Rampage</u> :star: - Rampage is keen at times to find some caps around, given her fame at the Arena and her prowess for having a target painted on her back. And that is all for the explanations! Medics will be up next, which is Velvet Remedy VS. Morning Glory if you aren't aware. Might take longer given that I have to prepare myself to move out very soon, and trying to do other things like make a video with this new pc (assuming it doesn't go down again!), and writing journals and whatnot!