#sometimes i queue

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Peter is a good boi, but if you think he wouldn’t smush Tony and Stephen’s faces together after they’ve been flirting for Way Too Long, you’re wrong and.

(And as soon as he does it he has to swing to the other side of the city because he did not expect them to do That and now he needs to bleach his eyes. Forever. Oh god that backfired. He Did Not think that this would happen. Why is he still alive please death take him back it would be a mercy.)

(Stephen and Tony forget he’s there 100% and just go at it. Because of course Tony makes out like a teenager and Stephen indulges him.)

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It’s a brilliant plan, really.

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The Volturi whenever they have to show up to deal with the Cullens again:

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Not sure if anyone asked you but how often do you think Volturi feed? I know vampires don’t need much in quantity..

Edward mentions that his family and him feed about every two weeks. Now, I assume that the “vegetarian” lifestyle has to have some drawbacks with one of them being the need to feed more often. Going off of this, I would guess that a “carnivorous” vampire would need to feed about every month. 

Now, the Volturi have an ..interesting dynamic with their Uber Eats Heidi bringing their meals to their chambers, especially given the large number of vampires that live within the castle. Besides the 5 coven members, there are 10 permanent guards and 17 unnamed guards. That means there are a total of 32 vampires within their castle…which is a lot of vampires to worry about feeding.

Since there is such a large number of vampires within the Volturi, they probably break the feedings into two group. Normally, the two groups would probably be the Coven (5) + permanent guard (10) and the transitory guard (17). Heidi’s tours are bimonthly, and it keeps everyone on a schedule for their feedings. I’d imagine keeping everyone on this sort of schedule would help with slip-ups too. However considering that the Volturi employee a large number of “gifted,” there are probably instances where a vampire is permitted to feed twice a month if they over-exerted their gift. Additionally, I would assume Guards are allowed to feed the “traditional” way when they are out on missions, as long as they are outside of the Volterra city and properly dispose of the body.

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Afton: Hey, you need an extra guy?

Demetri: Sorry, Afton. We already got 7, and we want to keep it an even number.

Afton: Hey, wait a second! 7 isn’t an even number.

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So can vampires just smell when a human female is menstrusting? Hope that’s not too gross.

[I talked about the composition of menses in a little more detailed here]

This ask isn’t gross at all, anon! 

Yes, a vampire can smell when a human female is menstruating. Fortunately, human menses isn’t solely composed of blood. Meaning, vampires aren’t going to consumed by an overwhelming desire to snack on a human female because she has her period. Honestly, I think vampires begin to “ignore” the sounds of human bodily processes because I’m not sure how they would sleep with humans, let alone find them attractive, otherwsie. 

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State of Blog

Hey, guys~

So, I’m going to be study abroad for the next two weeks. I probably won’t be too active on here, but I did make a queue that should last the two weeks that includes asks and reblogs.