Stowaways were the worst. I could do pirates all day long, protesters, saboteurs, merchants, even the occasional politician - but there was something about stowaways that got to me. Never an easy wipe. This one in particular was getting on my nerves.
“Timothy Bainright, recently of Port Ash, age 24 and one fourth Earth years” I read in my sternest voice. “You have died as a result of explosive decompression, brought on by an asteroid impact. You are required -“
“To cease all activities and depart, yadda yadda yadda” he parroted back, zooming over my head. “But that’s so boring.” I looked up from the tablet, ignoring his attempts to flick yet another hex nut at my torso.
“Boring or not, Mr. Bainright, this ship is being refitted and returning to the Lesser Belts. You were and still are a stowaway. And stowaways-“
“Are illegal. I know” Timothy grumped, curling in on himself in the corner. “Not my fault the captain wouldn’t hire me.”
I did my best not to roll my eyes at him, setting aside my tablet and glancing at my watch. We’d been at this for 3 hours now, and I was starving. Doubtless the captain in question was starting to question my efficiency. I sighed.
“Mr. Bainright, the fact of the matter is this. Your attempt to gain passage by less than legal means ended poorly. And the ship, while now in need of several new crew members, is not looking for a Ship’s Ghost, nor any members of the spectral variety.” At the far end of the room, a particle field buzzed quietly, casting everything with a faint purple glow. Timothy refused to look at me. “Your best bet is to either accept your fate and move on, or come with me and speak to an After-Death Career Advisor before applying elsewhere. I don’t want to see you banished.”
Around us, the systems hissed. Another ship coming in, probably, altering the local power flow. Speaking of ships coming in, though...
“We’re a big port, Mr. Bainright. Ships come through every day, looking for crewmembers of all types. You’ll get snatched up in no time.” My tablet beeped, and my watch vibrated. Not the urgent pattern, thank goodness. I could afford to ignore it.
Timothy mumbled something into his translucent knees. I squatted down, mostly trying to relieve the ache in my calves but hopefully appearing approachable. “Surely you don’t want to be banished, Mr. Bainright? I’ve seen it done before. An unpleasant process for all involved. Never a happy way to go for a ghost, tearing them from this plane. I don’t know if you -“
Timothy mumbled again, barely audible over the particle field. I moved a little closer, straining my ears. “You’ll have to speak up, Mr. Bainright. My ears aren’t -“
“I said I’m SCARED!” Timothy yelled, fists clenched and suddenly upright. “This is the first ship I’ve ever been on, and I can’t even leave this room! I get-“ He paused, apparently fumbling for words. “I get all fuzzy, when I try to leave. Like I’m drifting apart.”
Finally, we were making some progress. I could have cheered. Instead, I stood up straight, grabbing the tablet again.
“You’re simply unexperienced maintaining your structure outside of familiar locations. You smuggled yourself onboard in a crate, right?”
Timothy looked confused. “Yes, but -“
“And then you spent two weeks hiding nearby, in this room. You just don’t know the halls. It’s unfamiliar territory. But that’s solvable.”
Poor Timothy looked like a weight had been removed from his shoulders. “ You mean I can go places without disappearing? Like other ships?”
“Other ships and beyond,” I reassured him, quickly tapping some files on my tablet. “We can hook you up with a supportive emitter until you’re more experienced moving about, we do it all the time. And in the meantime you can get some training on jobs you might be interested in.” I looked up. “That is, if you’re willing to leave this ship.”
If Timothy’s teeth were corporeal, I probably could have heard them click as he snapped his mouth shut. He paused for several seconds, abandoning two attempts at speaking. Then he looked me in the eye, rubbed the back of his neck, and said “If you promise I won’t just vanish...”
I nodded solemnly, returning his gaze. “I promise, Mr. Bainright. We’ve done this hundreds of times, and never lost a single ghost.” Timothy’s mouth pursed for a fraction of a second, and then he shrugged, gesturing towards the door. “I’ll go, then. With you, that is.”
I smiled for what felt like the first time in ages, and tapped another file. “Excellent. I promise you won’t regret it, Mr. Bainright. Now I have just a few things you have to sign, and read...”
Half an hour later, and I was finally home free. The Captain was happy to sign off on a job well done, and didn’t even remark about the time, which was pleasant.
Timothy Bainright was on his way to Port Kios’ training zone for a tour, emitter firmly synced to his person, and he was my last case for the day. I had a fresh pocket of credits, and choice of my favorite restaurants for dinner. A wonderful end to the workweek, all things considered.